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    Thread: HDB roll call!

    1. #1
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      Ne/Neva Eva's Avatar

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      HDB roll call!

      It's New Year's Eve here in the U.S. and I thought I'd ask for a show of hands for those of us who have been on High Dose Baclofen and are doing pretty darn well. A little sanity and hope to ring in a healthy 2012, if you will. I hope some of you will consider joining me in this endeavor.

      I was a hopeful, still employed and functioning hopeless-daily-drinking-drunk for more than 20 years. I read Dr. Ameisen's book and got online and found MyWayOut which helped me find my way out.

      I've been taking baclofen since October 2010. I started at 5mg/day and titrated up to about 320mg/day. It took 5 months. I've been indifferent to alcohol since February 4, 2011. I have titrated up and down after that, but have settled around 140mg/day over the last several months.

      My life has been transformed. Not only do I not drink against my will anymore, I don't have malingering and related mental or physical health problems. My husband, (who also found indifference with baclofen) and friends can attest to this. But more importantly for you--the lurkers and newbies--the professionals I pay to be objective about such things don't think I'm nuts or physically sick anymore either. And I don't pay them so well they'd lie to me. Especially my therapist. She tells me the truth way too often. :H

      Happy New Year! I hope 2012 brings all of you the gifts that I found in 2011--freedom from the disease of alcoholism, a measure of serenity, and a world of shiny new possibilities.
      :l
      Ne

    2. #2
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      tiptronic_ct's Avatar

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      HDB roll call!

      Thanks for this thread NE :l

      I'll put my hand up: my join date, sobriety date and post count kinda says it all

      All the best for 2012, peeps!

    3. #3
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      HDB roll call!

      October 23rd, 2009:

      Lo0p wrote: I was walking to the gas station down the street last night to get a bottle of wine (I was already wasted) and a car was coming in the opposite direction. They sped up and swerved just a tiny bit in my direction. I thought they were speeding up and swerving in my direction to scare me. Now sober, I know they were just speeding up because they were turning onto the highway that I was walking on and just lost the grip on the wheel a bit while they gassed it. I got angry and, glaring through the windshield at the driver, charged the car, running straight toward it as fast as I could. I had a vision of diving head first into their windshield and my brain being splattered all over it. I can't explain it other than to say that I was thinking: "You think you can scare me motherfucker? I would fucking welcome whatever you think you could do to me" They swerved away and sped off. I ended up on my ass in the middle of the highway. My ankle might be broken, or sprained quite severely. Either way it's probably a good thing I can't really walk right now.

      If you are out there, if you are listening, please send me an angel. I really need one right now. I feel like I am in the twilight of my life. I want to die and I am not afraid.



      The very next night, the baclofen took hold. I drank 2 glasses of wine. It was the first time I fell asleep sober in as long as I could remember. I fell asleep on the couch staring at the bottle of wine thinking: "You know you have to drink the rest, and one more whole bottle, right? Right...don't you, in order to even fall asleep for a few hours? But then you'd have to walk over there, pour it, smell it (uggh) and then actually drink it." Just the thought of it disgusted me. And I fell asleep.

      Soon after I ran out of my baclofen, but I had already seen the light. My angel came, and I no longer wanted to die.

      And damn... look at me now!!! I am so proud of who I am, and prouder still of my past and the battle that I fought and won. Pride was an emotion so foreign to me.

      I'll copy an email I recently sent to someone:

      Lo0p wrote: I used to look at myself in the mirror, stare at my disfigured, grossly overweight body and search my eyes, looking for me, the real me. I knew I was in there, somewhere. I knew I had a disease and what I saw in the mirror wasn't the real me. I was throwing back bottles of hot damn 100 every night just to get 4 hours of sleep.

      After I was cured from baclofen I was finally given the opportunity to show myself who I really was. I went balls to the wall. First day on my chart that I hit 0 units of alcohol I hit the gym.

      For years people were deceived when they looked at me, they saw my disease. Finally today, when they look at me I hope they say "Wow, look at him! You can see that boy's heart through his skin!" Now when they look at me the see me
      .

      I am the one of the least vain people you'll ever meet. I mean it when I say "I am proud of my humility".

      I look at myself, am proud of who I am, who I've become and constantly strive to find more defects so that I can fix them to be the best person I can be. For me! The only part of any of this that is for anyone else is I hope that I can serve to help people strive toward the same goal. That is all that I care about when it comes to how other people view me.

      There is hope! There is life after all of this!!


      There is a way out of this hell, and I flew out of it like a phoenix and I am soaring high!

      :l

    4. #4
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      Ne/Neva Eva's Avatar

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      HDB roll call!

      Yep. You know I'm a sucker for the graphs, lo0p. And I'm proud of you, and the rest of us, too.

      Reggie, it looks as though you are yelling at me. Are you yelling at me? And, um, words to the effect that you have taken HDB, and are not crazy, and are actually a real guy who loves music and lives in Oz... Just sayin' :H (or rather putting words in your mouth. ach. sorry. Will delete if you want...:l) Do you have a happy new year song for us?

      And :l bacatcha, Tipster. You grandaddy of 'em all, you. If I'm still around here when I've got 20,000 posts, oy. I hope my posts get shorter!

    5. #5
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      Ne/Neva Eva's Avatar

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      HDB roll call!

      :H:H:H

      DON'T DELETE THAT!!!

      Yes, undertook is a word.

    6. #6
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      bleep's Avatar

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      HDB roll call!

      For sure!

      The positive effect that HDB has had on my life so far is incredible. It was January 3rd 2011 that I went to the doctor to see about baclofen, and took my first tablet that same day. I was a hair away from divorce, and just generally screwing things up left, right and centre.

      Almost exactly a year later, and the change is profound. I don't think about booze, and haven't drunk for months. Happily married, and things are coming together. I have no major SE's, and life generally rocks.

      Baclofen works.

    7. #7
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      taw's Avatar

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      HDB roll call!

      I am bac to LDB but on my way to HDB the right way under the care of the good Dr. L.!

      Hope it is a happy and healthy new year for all!!! Thank you all for being here for me!!

    8. #8
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      RedThread12's Avatar

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      HDB roll call!

      HDB poster child here. My first day of taking balofen was my last day of drinking alcoholically.

      Had given up self-employment to drink all day for several months. Tried everything that had helped before and was utterly defeated . . . nothing worked. And the idea that I would have to make not taking a drink be the most important thing I did every day for the rest of my life was making it look not worth it AT ALL.

      AFTER drinking in the am, I went to Post Office to pick up my online bac shipment. Took 10 mg (probably w/vodka!) in the parking lot. Felt it, BAM, w/in 15 minutes. Didn't drink again that day until evening, when I had 2 drinks (the 2nd only because it just seemed so wrong to only have one)!

      That was the first week of Oct., '09. I was actually liberated from addiction that day. I put my professional life back together w/in a few weeks of that first dose and no longer consider myself an alcoholic. Nor do my friends, who saw me through the worst of times - when they wondered if they would see me alive again. It was a valid question.

      I loved all my side-effects and survived a major overdose. I've experimented in many ways w/dosage, drinking some, drinking none, and to what extent I can manage anxiety through my behavior and to what extent my personal bio-chemistry ROCKS when I give it the baclofen it so clearly needs.

      I'm w/ LoOp (as I find happens, oh . . . all the time). I lived more than a decade with no mind-altering substances, including alcohol. I got in another 3 years AL free.

      I still feel like a phoenix arising from the ashes. EVERYTHING is better w/bac. These times surpass those many years of sobriety when I had no f'in idea that I was a true alcoholic.

      Happy New Year, eveyone at MWO. This forum saves lives. And especially to you baclofentists who blazed a trail.

      May 2012 SURPASS all of its wild predictions and expectations and bring more jaw-dropping, life-saving knowledge, like baclofen, to all who suffer in any way.

    9. #9
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      SlipperyPete's Avatar

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      HDB roll call!

      I've been on bac for just over 6 months, and what I keep thinking to myself is that this is what I always wanted. I always knew I had potential, but it was previously wasted and lost in a sea of anxiety and alcohol. Before bac, what I had wanted to feel like was how I felt when I was 13, and was perfectly happy and free. I thought it was super unfair that I got dealt a terrible hand in life, with this disease of alcoholism.

      Alcohol and alcoholism don't define me anymore. I feel like I can honestly say "I'm not an alcoholic." My entire future, with all of its potential successes and failures, will now be determined by me, and me alone.

    10. #10
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      HDB roll call!

      wow, what inspiring posts, people! i love the stories of salvation, of redemption, of living life the way it was meant to be. i'll never forget the time a then friend basically sneered at me for being hopeful that naltrexone might help me curb my drinking; he righteously pointed out that everyone wants a magic pill, a way to do it easily, but it doesn't exist. nal didn't turn out to be the thing for me, but baclofen did. my ex-friend was dead wrong! (funny and it figures: he's my soon-to-be-ex-hub's best friend.)

      i turned almost on a dime from sliding down the slippery slope of vodka and single motherhood to reclaiming my life, just in time to avoid potential severe consequences had i continued in my frightful alcoholic trajectory. i still shudder when i think about the myriad horrible ways things could have gone had i not discovered baclofen. having started in with this magic bullet in april is what keeps me from shuddering for long; i am safe now, and so is my son.

      thanks, baclofen, and to everyone on this shared journey. yes, what redthread says: may this year bring life-saving knowledge to all who suffer.

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