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  1. #21
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    Thank you @_serenity_ means a lot. I've benefited so much from the guidance of those who went before me.

    I'll keep posting. Both to keep myself on track, and because I can see that there are so many others googling away, looking for pointers.

    I see no reason to change what I'm doing. It's my birthday tomorrow, and there'll be pressure to drink. I may have a sip. As I said, I was never a 'catch the thirst, watch me dive' drinker - more 'slow and steady wins the race.' So we'll see. Thanks to all the people here and elsewhere who posted about their journey.

    I do find it bewildering that so many people have found this drug so beneficial, yet medical doctors 'trial' it with 3 x 10mg a day and declare it doesn't work! It wouldn't even work for spasticity at that dose - its primary purpose.

    The side effects were troubling while I was titrating up (the crushing urge to sleep hitting me like a runaway train in a split second being the worst). But now I'm at my sweet spot, they're barely there.

    And 1-2 bottles of wine a night is hardly side-effect free...
    Last edited by georgesmiley; November 18th, 2020 at 02:41 PM.

  2. #22
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    So, it's been a month since I drank. I'm clearly not out of the woods yet - life is a whole heap of shit (boss, colleagues, partner, kid's mum, my own mum, money, you know the score). But here I am, tapping away, sober.

    I ask myself why I'm not drinking - it'd be a "solution" to a lot of this mess (which is why we all do it, right?). But I just can't seem now to be bothered. That all encompassing yearning - gone.
    Last edited by georgesmiley; November 24th, 2020 at 04:44 PM.

  3. #23
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    Oh and as a ps....not a drop on my birthday.
    Last edited by georgesmiley; November 26th, 2020 at 01:26 PM.

  4. #24
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    So...about six weeks since my last drink.

    I have no yearning to. Though I'm kinda dreading the end of lockdown - it's hard to imagine going out with some friends without having a good ol' time.

    I still have no real sense of what it's for. Clearly, something made me stockpile all this baclofen, but it's almost like a can't remember what. I guess knowing that I couldn't go on drinking 1-2 bottles of wine a night forever.

    There's always that voice saying, 'Well - you were never that sort of drunk. You were never falling down. You never drank a litre of spirits in a day.' It's a nagging voice that doesn't take me anywhere at the moment, because I have no yearning to drink.

    But what baclofen does not take away - nothing can - is the reason why we drink.

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  6. #25
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    I would also add that I don't think the side-effects of baclofen are all that troubling any more.

  7. #26
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    That's wonderful news, @georgesmiley. You have attained indifference. I too stopped noticing side effects from baclofen after I leveled off my dosage.

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  9. #27
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    So, a sober Christmas. In a way, lockdown is a benefit here, as I'd be out at social events. And Christmas is, of course, traditionally associated with afternoon drinking...

    The temptation, though, has sort-of drifted into consciousness a few times around 4 or 5pm - "Go on, you can have a couple, you've proved you're not hooked any more, it's Christmas, it's normal, it's anti-social not to..."

    Except, of course, I'm thinking about drinking on my own - which is not exactly pro-social - and I can very clearly see the thoughts and emotions that explicitly prompt the thoughts to do so. And those thoughts and emotions come back routinely, day in, day out.

    So, following @Baclofenman 's advice, I've upped the daily dose slightly to 150mg/d. And mindful of @_serenity_ 's advice, I'm definitely not going to let my guard down, drop the dose, or give in.

    I need to look back on a life where I started day-time drinking at 21. I started storing booze in my desk at grad school in my mid/late 20s. I went to see my first alcohol counsellor at about 28. And since my mid/late 30s, I've drunk 100+ UK units of alcohol minimum a week, and quite often at times of trouble routinely 150+ units - and I'm 49 now.

    I can see that I need to make other changes too. I need to go back to mindfulness. I need to run and do some exercise. Because these things (irrespective of the physical benefits) have clear psychological effects that are obviously undeniable.

    So, to all the drunks out there, I want to say: Christmas is such a challenge. Cut yourself some slack - if you couldn't fix it in the rest of the year, don't beat yourself up if you can't fix it this week or next.

    But for two months now (and that's a short spread of time, so I'm not confident or cocky), my way out has been baclofen. It took a lot of research, reading, experimenting with online ordering, plucking up the courage to have a go (partly because of the side effect fears, partly because I just f*+%ing love drinking), but have a go I did, and thus far, it's worked.

    I'll keep updating.

    Booze or no booze, we've all had a miserable 2020 - let's hope 2021 offers more hope in every respect.

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  11. #28
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    So... two months, and no drinking.

    I'm gonna stick with it - as @_serenity_ says, stopping seems like a mug's game.
    @Baclofenman managed to give up the baclofen too... at the moment, I see no need to do that for a goooood while. I think I need to just 'learn to be' at this stage.

    Chin up, everyone. This shitstorm of a year is over. Let's pray for something better...

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  13. #29
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    And now three months. Remarkable.

    It's only three months. In my head, it's a few years!

    I would say the anxiolytic effect of this is wearing off maybe? Hard to tell. Life is a shit show for everyone right now. If you're not anxious, you want your head looking at.

    I had a drink the other day. A rum and coke. I was on my own, and thought I'd try it. It kind of disgusted me; I couldn't finish it.

    In a way, that's not indifference; indifference would mean being able to enjoy it when enjoying it was in order, and leaving it when it's not. This was a mixture of guilt, and just not liking it.

    So - baclofen, thank you. The majestic fuck up that is Brexit is making it harder to source the stuff, but I built up a big supply in case I need to taper.

    Stray strong, people.

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  15. #30
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    Re: My baclofen journey

    I've come on here for a bit of accountability, and to apologise. Well, like a fool, I thought I'd have a drink with my partner.

    We all know where this ends up, right?

    Well... I didn't get wasted, but I did get tipsy. It's happened two or three times. I was never a drinker that went on massive benders (slow and steady wins the race - drinking's a serious business). And guess what? I now think about booze more, and want it more. I think about it non-stop again from 3pm. I have hundreds of, 'It's just a little drink, you're not a lush any more' thoughts. I can savour the flavour.

    Getting rid of these thoughts was the whole point of the baclofen journey. And now they're back. So I came on here to fess up, and give myself a talking to.

    So I'm going to up the dose and have a word with myself, and start to digest the fact that every single ex-boozer seems to realise: you have to cut it out completely. In my head, I would just be one of those people who had a glass or two of wine with friends at dinner. I even went to Moderation Management for nearly a year. They were truly lovely people. But what a bunch of piss heads. Me included.

    So maybe I just need to put myself in that camp: no thanks, I'm driving.

    Testing times are ahead as we come out of lockdown in the UK. I'll be going out with friends, and they are big drinkers. Trying times indeed...
    Last edited by georgesmiley; March 5th, 2021 at 05:31 PM.

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