Monday, July 17

[Guest]

Monday, July 17

Hey Everyone!!

So, did ANYONE notice I was absent???!! :

Actually, I'm having major computer problems and logging on has become totally unpredictable.... AND I'm feeling just generally down and miserable for who-knows-what reasons....

I have all sorts of things to do and I just find myself totally FROZEN and unable to even begin...does anyone else go through this? I mean, I have phone calls to make and I just don't make them...I have piles of papers to file on my table and I just get this weird, panicked feeling and then can't seem to get it started...there are clothes that need hanging up and I, again, just get this weird, panicky, anxious feeling and don't do it.... I KNOW this sounds absolutely absurd--even I would say, Just Do It (whatever it is), but I truly just get all frozen up...

In the past, this frozen weird panic is when I would immediately have a drink, which would then become bottles of wine--and then I wasn't worried or panicked or frozen...I just didn't care any more whether stuff got done or not....I'm not drinking now (98 days abs), but I sure do feel like it...

Honestly, I know the only way I can get past this is to just do these things...I don't know why I feel as though I can't even begin....does anyone else ever feel like this???

I'll try to come back later, but who knows what the computer will have planned for me instead!
:h
susan

[Guest]

Deidre abd Matt--thanks for reminding me it really is all how you look at it. Honestly, there really is no better feeling than being out if the monster's clutches. The freedom and calmness are amazing after you get through the tough part.

Kathy, if you fall down you simply get back up again. There is no failing if you keep getting back up. God knows I have had to get back up so many times it was ridiculous.

Not only do I know that I have to have a permanent residence in Absville--I want it--and I am enjoying it. I don't post much, but I am always in town.

Kim

[Guest]

Sorry Susan, it's summer so I just expect everyone to be in and out. We notice believe me!

Hi Jen:d Welcome back! I think you'll really like it here in Absland. It really simplifies things when there is no debate about drinking or not drinking. Like you, many of us have tried to moderate with the end result becoming painfully clear. What is so great about us having our own little corner in MWO is that we need not worry about offending those who are moderating successfully. Some of us here are planning to drink again at some point and that is OK too. I'll hope and pray that they find peace in their journey.

And a journey is what this is. Kathy, there's SO much strength and wisdom in here and we all are growing up. Please don't be timid about sharing your struggles. None of us are judgemental. We can't afford to be. When someone (including myself) slips up or falls, we MUST pay close attention and LEARN from those experiences. My personal failures teach me volumes more than do my successes. Please share your strengths with us.

Matt, Gabby, Deirdre, Marcie, Donna(prayers goin up),Belle,Lori S., Vickie, Jane and everyone .......God Bless, congrats on another sober day:P

[Guest]

Susan,

I get those weird overwhelmed "can't do s*&t" feelings now and again. The only thing that seems to really clear my head and calm me down is to leave all the "to do" stuff until another time and go out for a nice long walk. I know it sounds absurdly simple but it works for me. You are so far along! Stay on the good path

Kim,

Thanks for the good thoughts and dropping by!

Matt

[Guest]

Of course we noticed you weren?t here Susan! I just figured you were up in VT for the weekend. I hope your computer problems get solved. We?ve had some service interruptions at my job on the upper w. side with Time Warner. Sometimes they last all day. So I know it sucks when you can?t log on!

I can?t say I?ve gone through what you?re experiencing with feeling frozen and panicky, & unable to get things done. But I have had periods of procrastination throughout my life. With drinking, like you, it would bother me and nag at me until I just didn?t care from drinking - like any & all of my problems, it would just fade into the background. But that?s very different from what?s going on with you I think.

Wish I could be more help. Hopefully others will have some good advice for you.

All I got is hugs? :d :d :d !!!

Deirdre

[Guest]

By the way,

Where are you CV? Haven't heard from you in acouple days. You must be deep in research mode.

Matt

[Guest]

Oops! I forgot to say ?HI? to Jenram. Welcome to Absville. Have a cool glass of lemonade & stay a while will ya?

Are you doing the MWO program at all, along w/ AA? I know you?ve been on this site for a while b/c I recognize your screen name, but I don?t remember which aspects of the program you?re using. So let us know, maybe CV can help with your emotions. I used to have mood swings, but with this program and a bunch of additional supplements I was able to stabilize them.

All the best!
Deirdre

[Guest]

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone! In between moments of sheer panic, the thoughts of all of you supporting me help me to calm down! I have been intermittently tearful off and on all day--I just know that if I even see one sappy commercial on TV that I'll be boohooing like anything! We all know what it's REALLY about!!

It IS like saying goodbye to a bad relationship. It was great for a while, then it worked okay even though it wasn't much fun anymore, and now, it's just destructive, even though you keep hoping it's going to work out.....then, there's trying to let go but being tormented with remembering when it was so much fun. You mean it REALLY CAN'T WORK???? REALLY???? My mourning is not for now. It's for the days when drinking was really fun. But that is really just a distant memory. It hasn't been fun, except for very occasionally, for the last 15 years.

It is so amazing that my mind can hang on to what was fun over 15 years ago, and try to ignore the rest!! But I'm here, and I'm glad. I appreciate your support so much. I think it is going to mean a lot to me in the coming days and weeks! I hope you will all forgive me if I'm a little self-absorbed for a few days!:

And yes, Susan, I did notice you weren't here!!!

I'm going to write down my list of suggestions for the hypno cd's now.... Thanks all! I'll be winging into town tomorrow morning!!

With hugs and gratitude!
Kathy

[Guest]

Kathy, Well put! Gabby

[Guest]

Lol, hey Matt and all...

You all sound great! and Welcome to all of the newcomers.

Yes, been crazy in research, had to work on some law classes with some looming tests and exercises and a website, plus, trying to mess with my supps a bit. Crazy silly back problem so I think I've finally found the right chiropractor that actually knows what he's doing and worked the entire body/spine, not just cracking the adjustment. I'll see him again on Wednesday, then tomorrow, I made an appt. with an acupunturist that does that auricular acupuncture that's supposed to help with cravings too.

I let myself have a couple with my kids and had the sugar cravings like crazy so I've been in hibernation, just working through the lemon water and stuff to force it through me more rapidly...but anyway, you guys have kept me in good shape and very proud to be associated with you all here in absville...we're much more active than mods!:d