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  1. #11
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    Wednesday, July 12th

    Re: Happy Day 12.

    Thanks Peggy,
    I needed that. Isn't it the truth. Most of the time we think about the negative side of ours. I guess what I love about me is the fact that I am very creative, cheerful and ready to laugh, incredibly curious about everything and I used to have so much energy. That is what I will get back when I am well again. So I guess I should celebrate what I have left.
    Love Lori

  2. #12
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    Wednesday, July 12th

    Re: Happy Day 12

    Hi everyone.

    I so enjoyed the posts the other day I thought to myself "I'll be back (said in a tone like Arnie!!!)

    The issue of a long term abs group (actually long term anything)has come up before. I argued long and hard for it at the time cos I got so frustrated that people were leaving and I wanted people who were ahead of me to stay because they offered me such hope. I cant recall now why it didnt happen.. I think it was because any splitting of the forums means you have to search longer and harder to find what you want. I suppose it IS natural that if you get yourself back on track that you should 'get on with your life'.

    To some extent, that is what i HAVE done and why I dont come here so much anymore. Sometimes when I come here I get confused because on the one hand I enjoy feeling 'powerful' in my time of abstinence and feel like I do have something to share but I resist that feeling because I think the value of this forum is to come for yourself, not for others. So while others may benefit from things anyone may say.. the purpose of the visit must be sort of journalling or reflection (well, for me thats what I try to do). Also, just cos I"m at 8 months does not mean that I'm THERE. I'm only here. Things change all the time and if I dont keep up with my program to support this abstinence decision, I set myself up for failure. If in the future, my decision is moderation or whatever, I still have to run whatever program it is that I've set up to support that.

    If I only went to a long time abs forum, I'd miss the posts where people struggle in the beginning and for me, I MUST NOT forget how hard that was. I fear that I'll just think, I did it once I can do it again, so lets try this or that. For me it was bloody hard. There were days I simply thought I COULDNT do it (and nearly didnt). I"m not saying, if I slipped I couldnt do it again, just that I must remember how hard it was for me cos that motivates me.

    I like the split of mods and abs. I found it helpful when that happened.. cos thats the split decision we all make. soyou can see what people on a particular path are doing. If I thought I'd try mods, I trawl through their posts. Cos I'm not, I dont so my focus is on the decision I made for me and to continue to support that.

    Matt, one thing that I found helped me so much here was I made a close connection with Kel (lovecarps). She and I were on parallel paths in so many ways and we keep in touch outside of this forum. Having a 'true' partner in those temrs was just so helpful for me. Its not that I can abbrogate my responsibility for myself and my actions... I cant. But I was truly lucky to find such a soul mate here. And those connections, I'd say happen quite a bit here and are very very helpful.

    Keep raising the good questions.

    And what do I like about myself. Well, for someone who has delusional expectations of herself this is hard - but... I'm a really good mum and I'm versatile, so I've never been qualified for a job that I've applied for and always done well at work.. so you can throw me anywhere and I can survive. And best of all, I've discovered I can change things myself!!!!!

    Brigid

  3. #13
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    Wednesday, July 12th

    Hi All,

    Thanks Brigid for all that insight! I agree, that finding a buddy here on the boards is a great idea. I have made some some true friends here that I keep in contact with off the boards and it can really help to have that extra connection!

    Hey Peggy, great idea. I love that I am a good camper! Good thing too seeings how I leave tomorrow for my trip. I am very excited to go but kind of sad at the same time! I have been coming here just about every day now for almost four months. Where I am going doesn't even have flushing toilets so I am sure internet access will be at a minimum. I could ask Ranger Wilma to share her computer but I don't think she will! Maybe I could claim I was having a MWO emergency...nah it would never work!

    Anyway, I will miss you all! I hope you have a great couple of weeks! Well, I hope you have a wole lot more than just a great couple of weeks, how about a whole life time full of them!! Remember to keep your goals forever in the front of your minds! I'll pop in when I get back.

    Donna

  4. #14
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    Wednesday, July 12th

    I for one will miss you Donna. Have fun tho! Gabby

  5. #15
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    Wednesday, July 12th

    I will have fun Gabby. Thanks! Hey guess what they have there? They have a GHOST town. The whole campground was built off this old mining town from the 1800's. The kids just have a blast going through all of the old buildings. However, now that they are teenagers we better be keeping a pretty close eye on them...LOL!!

    Donna

  6. #16
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    Wednesday, July 12th

    Commitment has always been a bit scary and I have seen that reaction to the prospect of a life without alcohol. I said that myself but then I looked back over past posts and thought about how I felt when I first came here. We have all made a commitment here to change and as Donna said yesterday, our vision of how that works out may shift as we progress but we have all decided that we couldn't stay the same, something had to give way and that was the alcohol.

    Well done absters, we are already the better for it!

  7. #17
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    Wednesday, July 12th

    Hey Everyone,

    Great posts! Now that I've read them all it's past my bedtime. Would have loved to post some thoughts, but I gotta sleep sometime... :y

    I heard back from RJ and she's definitely willing to add a new "long termer's" forum. But first there's some website changes that are going to happen. So we have time to think about it, and consider how it could benefit or detract from the wonders of Absville. Thanks for all your interesting thoughts and keep em comin...

    Lot's of love,
    Deirdre

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