AF Daily Sunday Nov 16

[A Work in Progress]

Good morning everyone! I'm feeling pretty reflective as I approach 4 months AF. The old "what next?" questions are rolling around in my mind...

As always, it seems, I have an ambivalent relationship with MWO. Very grateful for the help I have received here, and so happy to have made some good friends! At the same time, I often feel discouraged by the blend we have here on this site between people who are committed to being AF, and those who dearly want to drink moderately. I personally find the value placed on drinking to be a distraction in my own program of recovery... but I also know that it is, for some, possible to learn to drink moderately (even though usually it takes a LOT of effort and self-control), and for others it seems a stage that people need to go through (in the MWO world) prior to opening themselves up to the realization that it is a wonderful thing to be free from alcohol.

I have been thinking about other options as a long-term adjunct to MWO... AA maybe (although some of their teachings grate on my nerves!), possibly Women For Sobriety... We'll see.

I'm doing great today, and hoping everyone has a good day!

wip

[Cinders]

Good Morning, WIP,

I think the a significant value of MWO is that people come here that would never step foot in an AA meeting. I know what you mean about the distraction of reading about moderation. For me it can be dangerous because after some AF time, my mind kind of wanders off to, hmm, maybe me, too?

However, I finally figured it out.

I truly believe this site has helped many who would not have had help any other way. So, I just accept it.

You are very right about those who join to moderate and then figure out AF is actually much easier and moderation is not possible for them.

But, we do have people who joined and moderate very successfully, and this is wonderful!! It means they stopped the progression before it dived into serious alcoholism.

Oh well. Just thinking about what you wrote and ruminating myself.

I am so happy for you that you are coming up on 4 months. That is wonderful.

I go to AA, myself, when I can. We don't have any other kinds of meetings where I live.

Everyone else to come, have a great Sunday.

I'll check back in later. Grandkids and I are going to hop in the car, run down to Hardees and get some seriously unhealthy food.

Love,
Cindi

[MormonMom]

Good Morning All
Didn't make it on yesterday's thread and have yet to catch up on it.
WIP, I hear ya on the moderation thing. I know I cannot moderate, and yet I will allow myself to enter into Al's World as if I am a moderator. The difference between moderation and alcoholism reminds me of the fight between Good and Evil. The Evil side will tell you, "Ohhh come on! You can do it. Just a few." And yet you know it's wrong. You pretend it's right but then, after the fact, the realization of how wrong it is kicks in. I come to MWO each day because I want to be AF. Even when I fall to temptation, I still keep coming back in an effort to get AF. I'm glad MWO seperates the two so that communication between the right people can occur. Okay. Okay. I'm rambling. And the baby's screaming for me to pick her up out of her crib, so I must go.
I hope everyone accomplishes an AF day.

[DogLvr]

Good Morning WIP, Cinders and MormonMom. I've successfully made it halfway through the month and am pretty proud of myself. Getting ready to head to the grocery store.

WIP - where do you see all the moderation comments? On other threads? I only come to this thread and sometimes the Just Starting Out thread.

Hope you all and everyone to follow has a great rest of your weekend.

[LVT25]

Good morning (here) all!

I just have to report my success last evening! I actually went to sleep with a big smile on my face. I've decided I can't hide from a social life all the time any more. So I've been practicing WIP's advice about changing thoughts. We went to a friend's house to watch the Huskers beat Kansas State. It was fun. I was drinking iced tea. Had to take my youngest son to a birthday party, did this completely sober. Then we went to THE BAR to wait for some friends from out of town. I drank Diet Pepsi. Saw some people I haven't seen in awhile. Had some nice visits. It was fun. Picked up son at 9:30 completely sober. Hubby had been drinking beer since 2:30, he didn't even irritate me. It was fun, and I went to bed smiling.
Just gotta have the right attitude.
People are curious about me though. It's a little hard for them to understand I guess.

Gotta go get ready for Sunday school and Church.

ttyl :h

[A Work in Progress]

Wow, LV, that is a GREAT story! Good for you! Attitude is everything... well, not "everything" maybe, but it's a whole helluva LOT!

Cinders, I totally agree. Also, MM... yeah. And/but, the thing is... alcohol is not demonic for everyone. It's a wonderful thing when we have figured out where we stand on that question, and when we realize it is NOT a moral question or (entirely) a matter of self-control. I prefer to think of it as a toxin, specifically that it is toxic to some of us. And it is a particularly dangerous kind of toxin BECAUSE we can see others use it, and not be harmed by it, AND because using small amounts of it renders our frontal lobes useless for controlling impulses and exercising good judgment. In the latter sense, I guess, "demonic" might really be an excellent label...

DogLvr, I read a lot of threads here. There are some great threads that are inhabited by a mix of people, some AF and some moderate drinkers... or those who are "trying to mod," as they say. And the mods threads have some excellent, thoughtful posts... so I check on on some of them, too!

wip

[retteacher]

I know the ambivalence about reading about modding. That's primarily why I stay on this 30 day abs & the long-term abs forums only. I start reading about modding & begin to think I can do it too, but alas, I cannot.

I've actually licked the whole kitchen/cooking & drinking link. That was my main room to drink in. Even during the week when I was making an ordinary meal, I was constantly drinking. Cooking is second nature to me & doesn't take much concentration. I think that I broke that link when I've gone AF for long periods. My brain actually rewired itself.

The "reward" drinking is still an issue. We just had our g-sons overnight, & I feel kind of tired & strung out. It's fun but exhausting. I'm going to a brunch later, & I know there will be champagne cocktails. I'm visualizing drinking AF, but I know I'll feel deprived.

I hope everyone stays on track. I'm going to be AF today no matter what! Drinking won't add anything to my life. I'm going to take a shower now, & while I'm doing that, I'm going to review the pros of not drinking & the cons of drinking (the more gruesome the better).

Mary

[LVT25]

"I totally agree. Also, MM... yeah. And/but, the thing is... alcohol is not demonic for everyone. It's a wonderful thing when we have figured out where we stand on that question, and when we realize it is NOT a moral question or (entirely) a matter of self-control. I prefer to think of it as a toxin, specifically that it is toxic to some of us. And it is a particularly dangerous kind of toxin BECAUSE we can see others use it, and not be harmed by it, AND because using small amounts of it renders our frontal lobes useless for controlling impulses and exercising good judgment. In the latter sense, I guess, "demonic" might really be an excellent label..."

Ok, I'm back for just a minute!! WIP, this says volumes in one paragraph! I don't know if it's the cd's (haven't listened to them in a while) or just time and effort, but I did not feel even a little bit deprived last night. The thought crossed my mind earlier that I could have a beer if I wanted to, but then hubby made the comment to someone that I didn't drink. Ok, I don't drink, that works. Too many reasons not to. Like I told someone last night--it's time I set a good example for my kids. I hope I don't sound cocky here. I know it's something I have to work on daily, but it IS getting easier. So for anyone struggling--don't give up. It is SO worth it, you'll see.

As for your thoughts of leaving MWO WIP. Some of the good people that were here when I started have left for the very same reasons you speak of. It's totally a personal decision. I for one think the program is a revolving circle of life. People come and go and help others as well as themselves, and some don't get better yet. I for one appreciate all of you input and would seriously miss you if you left.

[A Work in Progress]

Thanks, LV! I'm not really thinking about leaving, but about getting some additional support, preferably face-to-face, elsewhere. There are things I don't like about AA, but what I really DO like are two things: one is that it is, like I say, face-to-face, so you meet people you can have lunch or a cup of coffee with; AND, there isn't anybody in those meetings who is "trying to mod"! Everyone in those meetings agrees that quitting alcohol is the only solution, for him or her.

wip

[Determinator]

Top o the Sunday ABenators across the fruited plains!!

whew! for a moment I thought you were getting away from us WIP. now way! you've been officially adopted sister.

LVT, what a marvelous success story, kudos!

Mary the thought of a champers brunch brings back some really blurry memories...ugh. I used to really like to do the breakfast and lunch buffets at casinos but for only one reason: an endless supply of bubbly. arg... I'd always be the guy flagging down the waiter, pointing to my constantly empty glass. then the inevitable super-headache from all that cheep bubbly. what the heck was fun about that?

truthfully I used to be quite scared of the idea of being AF and now I'm scared of the thought of mods!
I realize I have so much to lose and I have just been a very lucky person to not have lost it all in my stuporous past ways. Looks like I better change my emotion to 'grateful'

be well my friends