Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 5 - July 11

[retteacher]

Rebirth: Please share & ask questions. I'm no AA expert, & I just try to share a little about my meetings & some of my conclusions. This is a changing, shifting thread as new people join it.

Funny Girl: I was a very high-functioning alcholic. I was never arrested & have a long-standing marriage. However, I was sick to death of:
-all the energy involved in drinking, hiding it, & recovering from it.
-feeling ashamed & hating myself.

I really don't find sobriety boring at all. Yes, there are times when I'm in the company of people who are drinking socially, but I know I cannot drink like that. I don't associate w/people who get drunk. I'm experiencing life clearly for the first time in a long time. That's a good thing.

Good luck, Mary

[rebirth]

retteacher. I am also a functioning alcoholic with a fabulous job, lovely home etc. I was also sick to death of my obsession with AL and how it governed my life. It came before anything else. I hated running around after it, recovering from it and looking at myself in the mirror. Those wasted thoughts about my health, paranoia obout what people were thinking about me has disappeared since getting rid of that poison.

I went to a barbeque last weekend hosted by my best friend. She is my long standing drink buddy. The last time we drank together we got thrown out of a club because we were too drunk ( shameful..cringe..). Anyway I drank diet coke all night while she was downing the gin. Within one hour she stopped playing host and sat herself in a corner next to someone else who was drinking as heavily as her. She did not move all night and just got louder and more aggressive.

I on the other hand was socially and getting to know people, laughing and joking till the wee hours of the morning. "God you have become boring!!" she slurs at me.

erm. Well I think she was the boring one???!! I have decided I will no longer hang out with her if she gets drunk. It;s harsh because she is my friend. But I have to protect my sobriety right? I cant force her not to drink in my company either..

[Chillgirl]

Retteacher & Rebirth - I too was a functioning alcoholic and of course the initial adjustment is challenging, your whole social life gets turned on its head. I thought I would be bored with all the free time I used to spend drinking....! Not a chance, I fill it with far more worthwhile activities. Nothing is better to me than remembering going to bed and waking up each day feeling fantastic! Rebirth, yea you have become so boring! :H Drunks on the other hand are so interesting!!!

I wanted to post a Q here for DG or someone else with a lot of AA experience. When I quit in Jan I went to AA every week, sometimes twice for the 1st two months then dropped back to every couple of weeks and now I only go when I have had a particularly stressful experience as I find it grounds me. I check in here every day several times and find the support fantastic, I have also taken many other support aids from an alsortment of books I've read.

I feel Im in a really great place, I love my AF live and am very happy particularly as the depression and anxiety I suffered has gone with the AL. I now go out a bit more and feel comfortable around others drinking. The lady who introduced my to the AA group I go to is amazing and has become a good friend. She now thinks I need a sponsor and to go through the step. Im in two minds about this as I feel Im doing just great the way I handle it, but then I think, what harm can it do to do this as well? Or if alls well why rock the boat. Can someone tell me more about what doing the steps actually involves?

[Doggygirl]

***MAJOR SANDWICH WARNING. MAKE YOURSELF 2****

rebirth;904719 wrote: Hi doggygirl. I would love to join this thread. I have been attending AA for nearly 18 months and the meetings have been a great help in getting me sober. I found this site initially overwhelming at first but I am getting more of an understanding as to where I would like to post.

Definitely this AA thread so hello everyone. Just introducing myself quickly as its midnight in the UK so I am off to sleep. x
Welcome rebirth! I'm looking forward to *hearing* what you have to say! I know it takes awhile to find ones way around this forum. So glad you found this thread!

Cherbear;904784 wrote: Thanks DG and Mary for the advise!! I met a great gal today that didn't really say she would be a sponsor but I could tell she was sincere about me calling her.
Working through the urges is my number 1 priority and I know the only way I can be permanently successful at this is with me reaching out!
Welcome rebirth! I'm new to AA as you can tell but I'm sold!

I think my husband is a bit curious about all my meetings but is trying to be supportive. I told him he should come to a meeting sometime!


AA birthday 6/19/2010

Cherbear, your anni is my wedding anniversary date! Just noticed that. My husband is not one to go to open meetings with me very often, but he deeply appreciates what AA has done, and continues to do for me so he is very supportive of my AA activities. I don't pressure him to go, and he doesn't pressure me not to. It works well for us. Hope you and your hubby get that worked out too! I think the biggest thing is for Mr. Doggy to understand that my sobriety HAS to be my #1 priority. That way, I have a lot to offer him and all the other people in my life.

Funny Girl;904793 wrote: Not to be a killjoy or anything, but many of these stories are always about people who "bottomed out" early . . . .I never did that - I maintained high functioning levels with highly paid jobs while I was a toal addict & drug user who got into legal trouble at various times . . . .I guess my problem is I was never "glad to be alive" - I was always hoping to be dead. I apparently have a physical constitution that can endure almost anything & be healthy, so threat of death or losing it all was never my thing. Sobriety becomes extremely boring & I don't know how to combat that since I'm not "threatened by death" - any words of wisdom. I've played this out for 30 years or more . . . .I am sure I have stories that would embarass & ashame to prove it . . .thoughts???? god & meetings don't get it . . . .

I too was "high functioning" for many years. I never got a DUI or lost my home / family. But I DID want to kill myself. And for the last few years, I just wanted to stay home and be left alone with my bottle. I have come to believe that alcohol will lead us all to the same place (the grave) if we just keep drinking long enough. So I guess that's what you might have to look forward to if you decide to go back to drinking.

If you are finding the sober life boring, my suggestion is to get out there and find some new stuff to do. The only times I really feel bored in my life these days is when I'm in a drinking environment not drinking. I find drunks (like I used to be!) incredibly boring. I'm still amazed that I used to think THAT was interesting, and that *I* was interesting when drunk. Not.

BTW you are not a killjoy! This thread is for sharing honestly and you are doing that.

retteacher;904985 wrote: This is a changing, shifting thread as new people join it.


Indeed! That's the beauty of it!

rebirth;905032 wrote: I went to a barbeque last weekend hosted by my best friend. She is my long standing drink buddy. The last time we drank together we got thrown out of a club because we were too drunk ( shameful..cringe..). Anyway I drank diet coke all night while she was downing the gin. Within one hour she stopped playing host and sat herself in a corner next to someone else who was drinking as heavily as her. She did not move all night and just got louder and more aggressive.

I on the other hand was socially and getting to know people, laughing and joking till the wee hours of the morning. "God you have become boring!!" she slurs at me.

erm. Well I think she was the boring one???!! I have decided I will no longer hang out with her if she gets drunk. It;s harsh because she is my friend. But I have to protect my sobriety right? I cant force her not to drink in my company either..
Bingo. I have had to change some things too with old drinking friends. Some "friends" weren't really friends - only interesting in drinking buddy activities. Those have faded away. Other friendships have stayed but we just don't do drinking things together. I've forged many new friendships in AA which has been wonderful. How to handle changing relationships with friends is an important issue, I think, when we get sober. WE are changing and it just stands to reason that our friendships cannot stand still. They will change too in some way or other.

Chillgirl;905040 wrote: Can someone tell me more about what doing the steps actually involves?

What have you got to lose? For me, the steps have helped me see inside myself more clearly. They have helped me see areas where I really do want to grow and change for the better. They have also given me more tools for daily living. I am (I believe) a better person today with the help of the steps. As always, that is just my experience.

On AA attendance, there was a time when I thought in terms of "what can AA do for me." When I started feeling contentment in my sobriety, I didn't want to go as much. I have come to realize that for me, giving back is just as important and taking. When I feel that I NEED AA, I am counting on seeing people who are feeling strong in their sobriety at meetings to share some of that with me. So for me, I've come to realize that I WANT to be at meetings when I am feeling good in my sobriety so I can try to pass some of that strength to others when they need it. And you just never know who is going to walk through the doors that might be able to relate to you.

I should have put a sandwich warning at the top of this one! (not too late to edit I guess!)

I like this reading today:


Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

We had become hopelessly sick people; spiritually, emotionally,
and physically. The power that controlled us was greater than
ourselves--it was John Barleycorn. Many drinkers have said: "I
hadn't gone that far; I hadn't lost my job on account of drink; I
still had my family; I managed to keep out of jail. True, I took too
much sometimes and I guess I managed to make quite an a$$ of
myself when I did, but I still thought I could control my drinking. I
didn't really believe that I was an alcoholic." If I was one of these,
have I fully changed my mind?

Meditation For The Day

Painful as the present time may be; you will one day see the reason
for it. You will see that it was not only testing, but also a
preparation for the life-work which you are to do. Have faith that
your prayers and aspirations will someday be answered.
Answered in a way that perhaps seems painful to you but is the only
right way. Selfishness and pride often make us want things that
are not good for us. They need to be burned out of our natures.
We must be rid of the blocks which are holding us back, before we
can expect our prayers to be answered.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be willing to go through a time of testing. I pray that
I may trust God for the outcome.

I was definitely spiritually, emotionall and physically sick from AL. And AL was definitely my "higher power" in the end. I was just a slave to AL morning noon and night. I am SO grateful not to be living that way any more - with my life and even my thoughts of death (by suicide) being driving by AL 24X7.

DG

[retteacher]

ChillGirl: I went through the 12 steps w/a sponsor & learned a lot about myself, including my shortcomings & character defects. I now have a definite plan for life to work on...improving myself through clearing up those defects. I know I'll become a happier person as a result. Also, I was able to make amends for some of the wreckage my drinking caused...particularly in my marriage. Talking to my husband was the single most important step forward I've ever taken.

I too look forward to my meetings. It's truly a fellowship of friends to me. I'm not sure how sturdy my sobriety would be if I didn't go to meetings often.

Mary

[Horsegirl]

All New posters to this thread.

for the awesome input and advise.

I have been a member of MWO for over a year now, and when I started reading more posts and threads in the Monthly Abs section, I starting yearning for the attitutudes and outlooks of the folks that posted here. It seemed to me that One Day at a Time to them meant more than just fighting alcohol cravings one day at a time, it meant learning to live better one day at a time.

I also considered myself a high-functioning alkie, but at just 5 months sober, I can see that I wasn't nearly as functional as I thought. For me, alot of keeping my secret (I was a secret drinker) was making sure that everything around me appeared in control and normal.

I am so grateful to the members here who share their journey of sobriety so openly and honestly. I would never have even considered joining AA before, but am so happy to have been shown the way.

Somebody at a meeting the other evening stated that alcohol "robs your soul". That is so true for me. I feel that I am learning how to restore that back into my life.

Thanks for all the thoughts and keeping coming back to this thread

HG

[Doggygirl]

[QUOTE=Horsegirl;905472I also considered myself a high-functioning alkie, but at just 5 months sober, [b]I can see that I wasn't nearly as functional as I thought. For me, alot of keeping my secret (I was a secret drinker) was making sure that everything around me appeared in control and normal.

I am so grateful to the members here who share their journey of sobriety so openly and honestly. I would never have even considered joining AA before, but am so happy to have been shown the way.

Somebody at a meeting the other evening stated that alcohol "robs your soul".[/b] That is so true for me. I feel that I am learning how to restore that back into my life.


I thought I was a lot more functional than reality too. I associated functionality with things. Things like a house, a job, a car, a drivers license. Those outward signs are not necessarily signs of "functionality." In my case, they weren't really signs of anything I don't think. Signs of my ability to "fake it" maybe - and that "faking" ability was rapidly diminishing in the end.

I arrived at AA much the same way you did. I was inspired by some posts here at MWO (AAthlete in particular) and finally decided to go see what it was all about. Funny how resistant I was to the idea of AA. Without ever going to a single meeting, I was sure that is was old fashioned, a religious cult, full of weirdos, etc. I wish I had been that sure that a new kind of drink was "not for me." But when it came to my drinking, I was willing to try anything. :H

Anyway, it's working for me and I'm just glad I went. We can encounter people who "have what we want" on-line as well as in person!!!

DG

[rebirth]

Horsegirl;905472 wrote: :
I also considered myself a high-functioning alkie, but at just 5 months sober, I can see that I wasn't nearly as functional as I thought. For me, alot of keeping my secret (I was a secret drinker) was making sure that everything around me appeared in control and normal.
HG

HG Gosh...you just read my thoughts. When I was a drunk I also thought I was functioning okay. I thought I fooled everyone.But now that I have a comparison I realise that I was just barely hanging on! I walked around with a face that could crack mirrors, dragging my feet, hardly conversing, doing the bare minimum with my job, my relationship, my motherhood.Being miserable, impatient. Nothing meant much unless it involved alcohol.

Now that I am five weeks sober I already see and feel the difference in my energy, spirit and drive. It is tremendous! Argghh why didn?t I do this earlier???I wake up happy, energised and ready to face the day. Even people around me have noticed my energy. So many are smiling back at me!

Sometimes I have moments of intense happiness that I burst into tears. I am finally doing it. I am finally taking control. Oh Man what a feeling!:h

This is why I wish to be in the month Ab because I don't want this new found happiness to end. Like AA says it works if you work it. xxxxxxx

[Chillgirl]

rebirth;905532 wrote:

Sometimes I have moments of intense happiness that I burst into tears. I am finally doing it. I am finally taking control. Oh Man what a feeling!:h

Rebirth - I know exactly how you feel and Im so happy for you! I now understand how it must feel to be born-again with religion because I really feel I have woken up and opened my eyes for the 1st time in my adult life.....

[rebirth]

Chillgirl a big hug cause that's how I feel..born-again with religion. If we were in a church I would be jumping up and down in a delirious state shouting for joy and praising my higher power. I am not religious though and I dont attend church but I am feeling a spiritual awakening here!!!!

Some think it's the novelty of being sober but to me it's much much more than that...

DG I read all your posts and nod my head all the time. ..yup..yes..exactly how I feel...hit the nail on the head..how true..etc