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Thread: sunday 22nd

  1. #1
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    4th July, 2012.
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    sunday 22nd

    hi folks ..just a quick jump in.... how you all are doing..SF..glad to see you...yes you are right most of the convos are retro,but at the time of posting they are either present time or futuristic..that sounds good dunnit?especially at 5.30 am!!sad to hear about your mum,just hopefully she can get back to being the person she was....

    big hello to everyone else..apologies for not by name this morning,but time is limited and thoughtI would get some jokes up....have a great day folks...

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    My mate passed away after consuming excess amount of Calcium Carbonate.

    He chalked himself to death


    I lit my house on fire earlier.

    When the fire brigade turned up, I said, "You're nothing like the firemen on my calender."


    I was quite interested when my Wife told me that in terms of the Chinese Calendar this was 'her' year.

    I hadn't realised there's a Year of the Fruitbat.


    "Doctor Doctor, do you get pissed off with having the same surname as your profession?"


    I went to withdraw cash from a cash machine the other day. It asked if I wanted an advice slip.

    I said "yes".

    It said "never jump off a moving bus”


    I burst out into the aisle of the plane and yelled, "Does anybody know how to fly one of these things!?"

    Everybody stared on in horrified silence...

    As the stewardess calmly asked me to sit down and put the kite away.


    I walked into the DIY shop. "Excuse me," I asked, "have you got any 6 inch screws?"

    "Only what we've got on the shelf," replied the cashier, pointing.

    I don't know why he's selling these, I thought to myself as I unscrewed them and the shelf fell down.



    I couldn't be happier since I bought a CD of ice cream van music.

    Now I spend my weekends driving around villages with the stereo on full blast, watching the confusion and disappointment on all the little boys and girls faces.


    A guy and a girl were planning on going on a date to a new restaurant. The girl got ready and waited for her date to come pick her up. She waited for almost an hour and realised she got stood up. So she took off all her makeup and put up her hair in a bun. She slipped into her pyjamas, made some popcorn, and watched tv.

    Ten minutes later the doorbell rang, and sure enough it was the guy coming to pick her up. He looked her up and down and said, "Really? I'm an hour late and you're STILL not ready!?"


    A couple are lying in bed. The woman says, "I am going to make you the happiest man in the world."
    The man replies, "I'll miss you."

    The recruitment consultant asked me, "What do you think of voluntary work?"

    I said, "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."


    I was walking along the pavement and there was this sign that said, "Pavement ahead closed. Please use other side."

    It made me cross.


    SKY News: David Richards,40, from Caerwys snaps photo of UFO in back garden!

    Well sir if you say it's a UFO then you have identified it making it an FO, if it's landed in your back garden it's not flying thus making it an O.

    So David, you have succesfully managed to take a photo of an object in your back garden.

    well done asshole!!
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  2. #2
    Registered User. Guitarista's Avatar

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    MAE Mick and all.

    Have a bonza day.

    'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

    Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

  3. #3
    Registered User.

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    Morning all,quick whizz in,I have man flu so on sofa v lemsip and kindle,huge coffee too.Work event went really well yesterday,another lesson for me to not stress ahead of time. One day I'll learn it!

    Work has been crazy,all urgent and important all at the same time,there is a need for a lot of planning to develop my team up to the level we need,or manage them out.They aren't performing to the level we need so there may be tricky times ahead,and also lots of work to try to get them to that level.I'm concerned this may lead to restructure and then my job may go,I'm a manager and my team aren't performing so they may go.There I go again!It's a challenge and an interesting one and one I'm really up for.I'm hoping they can be developed and rise to the challenge.I love my job and would be gutted to not be working for the organisation.

    Today is a lazy day,bit of washing,cleaning if I feel up to it - had booked my body balance class but that is before the man flu hit - will see how I feel. Maybe a little walk in the spring air by the river instead.

    I may sound jittery - but I feel focused,hopeful and excited about what may lie ahead. Happy Sunday everyone - glad not to have a hangover today!
    one day at a time

  4. #4
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Mae everybody, feel better Bear, I had that last week and wasn't good for much, still had to work but tried to lay down as much as possible, try and rest hi Mr.G,Molly, you sound much better I agree that the weather defo plays a role in moods,Mick,I can't figure out which joke was best, I like the screw one it kinda reminds me of something you would do haha,up early again but I'm not trippin,I figure I slept so much while drinking, now that I don't have that sedation my body is just enjoying being awake besides I function pretty good throughout the day(most of the time) sitting here watching "House" reruns, it's hard to catch it nowadays, watching Louie later, I told him yesterday no golf watching tomorrow!too boring,hello to Lav,SF,Det,Sam,PPQP, Pie and everyone else, let's have a nice, peaceful Sunday
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

    Off the table no MATTER what.

  5. #5
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Good morning Abbers, happy Sunday to all!

    Thanks for the start up Mick!
    I am one of those people who enjoy using the self check out at the supermarket at times, ha ha!!! Yet there are other times when I strike up conversations with everyone I see in the supermarket Hope your day goes well!

    Greetings G! Molly, glad to hear you are feeling better! I am & always have been affected by the weather, especially the lack of sunshine. We need a good dose of sun every day

    bear, hope you feel better soon!
    As always, don't worry & stress yourself about future events ~ enjoy today!

    pauly, there's nothing more boring than golf on TV! I have never allowed that in my house, ha ha!!

    SF, nice to see you checked in. Sorry to hear about your Mom's depression. Is she just living with it or is she trying to get some help? It's hard to be around seriously depressed people, I know. I have too much empathy for them & begin to really feel their pain

    Sunny but cold here today - at least it's not snowing!!!
    Wishing everyone a great AF Sunday!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  6. #6
    Registered User. Pie's Avatar

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    Good morning, Mick, G, Molly, Bear, Pauly, Lav, SF, and Det. In good shape here today, as I hope you all are. Drawing a blank on anything interesting to say for now, so will check back later.

    Any success on your outing this morning, Mick?
    AF July 11, 2014
    I can't drink a little, therefore I don't drink at all.

  7. #7
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    pie ..jut got back now...yet again snatched victory from the jaws of defeat!!stiill was a lovely day at 16 degrees
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  8. #8
    Registered User. Pie's Avatar

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    You go, Mick!
    AF July 11, 2014
    I can't drink a little, therefore I don't drink at all.

  9. #9
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Chilly today but it didn't snow, YAY
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  10. #10
    Registered User. Samstone's Avatar

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    evening all
    day is winding down. been a busy weekend, how did ever have time to drink??? Enjoyed seeing my sister, been awhile.
    have a good one everybody
    Sam
    Liberated 5/11/2013

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