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Thread: sat 19th

  1. #1
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    sat 19th

    mae all how are swe today then?all good I hope...wow yesterday was a looong but enjoyable day.....bit cold and overcast but dry,thats the main thing....the time really flew by..now I dont know what your take on zoos or animal parks is ...but to see some of these beautiful creatures its fantastic.....we cant even protect them in the wild,and its not the first time pics have appeared of some a$$hole posing with a gun over some "game "they have killed...so I take it as it is ..the ones in the parks are safe....from yoomanz...anyways pics at the end....

    brew time...here we go....

    Det thats brill on the job front matey ...and without trying oo...good for you ....well done buddy...

    hiya pauly ..hows you today then?...beefsteak toms?I grow a variety of them called Marmande...they taste really good...theres an idea ..why dont you grow some tomato plants in pots outside ..the bush type ones?best of luck to Kell too..

    hiya ns...hows you then?this komboucha idea has picked at my interest....anyone else on here doing it?Im not allowed to eat grapefruit so will look at some alternative to that..it sounds very similar to something we used to do as kids ...ginger beer plants...

    hiya pie...how are you today then?thanks for the comments bout the greenhouse...I think some of the work helps to take my mind off the soreness of the dentistry,tho tbh it is getting easier now....till 29th when I go back...yes it is pretty nice outside..in the back garden...,put the fountain on ,rabbits running about ,with the horses and cattle in the fields..yesterday the deer were back.......so yep its good..watching the world go by...this is what I worked all those years for....as for the shower choice ....is there a choice ?false economy maybe?

    hiya Sam...well how did the veying job go ? all ok I hope...did you get snow?hopefully you got finished afore you did...

    hiya Lav...brew time ..same goes..did you get snow?..or just straight carnage??do you make komboucha too?hope you have a good weekend...when is the greenhouse project starting?

    hiya ppqp...glad you are feeling bit better....and best of luck with the lawyers bill..you get back on here if you start getting p.ssed off!!

    right peeps have a good weekend.......

    20160318_130602.jpg

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    20160318_155127.jpg

    What the job ads really say

    Ground floor opportunity - Lousy job with a company that will file bankruptcy within a year.

    Progressive company - Employees get to wear jeans every other Friday.

    Team player - Must deal with dangerously territorial coworkers with rabid personalities.

    Upbeat personalities - Must neither threaten us with any kind of lawsuit nor use the drug alcohol rehab benefit within the first year.

    Word processing skills essential - There is a crippling case of carpal tunnel syndrome in your future.

    Public Relations Receptionist, Professional appearance important - $20 K a year job that requires a $100K year wardrobe.

    Salary range $24K to $32K - The salary is $24K.

    Will train - Prior conviction of a felony or two, no problem.

    BA required, MA preferred - Must be a MA willing to work for a BA salary.

    Civil service - This job was filled from the inside six months ago.

    Outstanding benefits package - Health insurance.

    Tons of variety - We took all of the heinous tasks no one else would do and rolled them into one job.

    Top notch communication skills - Telemarketing.

    Beautiful offices in attractive locale - Brand new tacky windowless office where picture frames match the carpet.

    Secretary - Woman only job with the responsibilities of management and the wages of a migrant worker.

    Executive secretary - The most powerful position in any company.

    Dedicated - You're looking at a minimum of 80 hours a week until we force you into early retirement.

    Salary commensurate - We'll pay you whatever the we feel like.

    Salary negotiable - We'll take the lowest bidder.

    Competitive salary - We'll pay you up to 10 percent more than your last job!

    Competitive starting salary - Ten cents above minimum wage.

    Pleasant atmosphere - A staff of pod people.

    Professional atmosphere - Zombie pod people.

    Self-starter - Open to very broad interpretation, since no one really knows what this means.

    If Columbus had been married he might never have discovered America because of nagging from Mrs Columbus something like what follows below:

    * Where are you going?
    * With whom?
    * Why?
    * How are you going?
    * To discover what?
    * Why you?
    * What do I do, when you are not here?
    * Can I come with you ?
    * Coming back when?
    * Will you have dinner at home?
    * What will you get for me?
    * It seems you deliberately made this...
    * Am I right?
    * Why?
    * Dont lie...
    * Why are you making such plans.
    * You seem to be making a lot of such plans lately...Why?
    * I want to go to my parents' place.
    * I want you to come and leave me.
    * I don't want to come back...
    * I will never come back...
    * Why are you not stopping me...
    * I don't understand what is this discovery issuer?
    * You always do like this...
    * Last time also u did the same thing...
    * N ow a day's u always seem to do like this...
    * I still don't understand what else remains to be discovered in the world.

    "I heard you were at the dog show the other day."

    "Yes, I was."

    "Win any prizes?"

    The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office in a fury. "I've been getting threatening letters in the mail for months and I want them stopped."

    "Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending threatening letters through the mail is a federal offense. Do you know who's sending them?"

    "Yes," shouted the man. "It's those idiots down at the Internal Revenue Service."

    partcularily for Lav n Sam...and anyone else that has to file tax returns...

    How to Annoy the IRS

    Well it's tax time again boys and girls. So cough it up if you haven't already! But no one says you have to go gentle into that dark night. Here are some hints on how to annoy the IRS if you owe them money...

    1. Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples on the right side.

    2. Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples, rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the leftside).

    3. Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in you forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.

    4. If you're very unfortunate and have to pay taxes, use a two or three party checks. On top of paying with a three party checks, pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.

    5. Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to be read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.

    6. Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a burlap sack.

    7. When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZ form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.

    8. If you send two checks, they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.

    9. Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.

    10. Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to be verified and then date stamped.

    A man and his pet moose walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking. They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.

    Finally, the bartender says, "Last call."

    So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my moose."

    The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the moose falls over dead. The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.

    The bartender, yells, "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."

    To which the man replies, "That's not a lion, that's a moose."
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 8..done that one..now bimbling into year 9..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 10


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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  3. #2
    Registered User. Eloise's Avatar

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    Mornin' Mick
    Spring is in the air though, right? The birdies were still churping away on my evening walk!
    (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

  4. #3
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Quote Originally Posted by Eloise View Post
    Mornin' Mick
    Spring is in the air though, right? The birdies were still churping away on my evening walk!
    hiya Eloise...no matter the weather the birds seem to know the seasonal changes much better than us...you ok?
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 8..done that one..now bimbling into year 9..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 10


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  5. #4
    Registered User. Samstone's Avatar

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    morning all
    thanks for the brew, Mick, need a second one to keep it going. "veying job postponed I guess. Got a text when I arrived at the job site that he wasn't showing up. Not what I had in mind, but had another job to go to at an old mill site. Pretty place.

    IMG_1788.jpg

    here's a shot of the mill race:

    IMG_1789.jpg

    How do Eloise? your move go ok? tulips blooming?

    Det, so glad to read of job prospect!

    off to play outside for awhile, many directions to go, no snow yet, sun is shining!

    Sam
    Liberated 5/11/2013

  6. #5
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Mae everybody, Mick,I haven't been to the zoo in ages,I know Lou would love to go but the one I like is in Salt lake city UT and its about an 8 to 9 hour drive last time we went hubs was talking to an elephant and he extended his trunk so hubs could shake it like a hand,it was cute,I love that memory,chugging down my acv and local honey trying to keep these allergies at bay but I tell you that stuff is sickening but then again this is from a person who chugged a leftover, room temp beer many times so I think I can handle it,Michelle is the one who got a job and needs to pass a drug test not Kell,they're pretty lenient on the marijuana thing surprisingly but she still has to be clean in 2 weeks, hope everyone has a great Saturday
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

  7. #6
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Oh yeah, yesterday Louie's little cousin found two red tomatoes on the bottom half of the plant,she came running in all excited so I let her pick them and rinsed em off and she actually ate them,surprised a 4 year old would eat a tom like that
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

  8. #7
    Forum Subscriber. NoSugar's Avatar

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    Great post, Mick and a lot of chuckles. Do you have to avoid grapefruit because of a medicine you take? Long before I drank at all, I had what felt like a grapefruit addiction. One year we were given grapefruit for Christmas. I had never liked them much but because they were there, I ate them. Then, when they were gone I bought some more. Over time, I just had to have one at around 4 pm every day. I got kind of anxious when there were only a couple left in the refrigerator. I would drive out of my way to purchase some. I would leave work early to get some before picking up my kids from daycare. Sound familiar??? Then, at some point I just didn't care about graperfruit at all and in fact, didn't really like them. It was a relief not to feel that drive and obsession with grapefruit!

    The mystery was solved a few years later when I saw this: http://www.nytimes.com/1997/10/07/sc...-powerful.html. During that time, I was taking Seldane each morning. Somehow my body had figured out that by eating a grapefruit later in the day, I kept the Seldane activity up and I felt better longer. Seldane was taken off the market (because of this potentially fatal effect but that was not publicized at the time) and I was switched to a different antihistamine, with no explanation. Looking back, the drug switch corresponded to the grapefruit "addiction" cure!! It's amazing what our bodies know that we don't, isn't it?? Just like when I eat and manage my blood sugar, my body doesn't scream for a drink at around 4 pm (sometimes my mind does, but that's a different part of the story ).

    I'll be glad when I can grow tomatoes, Pauly. They are so great straight off the plant.

    Looks like you live and work in a beautiful area, Sam. And I know you do, El!! The midwest is beautiful, too, in its own way (that I think is obvious only to those of us who live here ).

    Have a good one, NS


  9. #8
    Registered User. Pie's Avatar

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    Morning Mick, Eloise, Sam, Pauly, NS. Just waiting for the excellent, but expensive shower guy to arrive. Hope fully, afterwards, I'll know which path to I'll take.

    Interesting grapefruit experience, NS. Love the pics, Mick and Sam.

  10. #9
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    MAE ALL....

    Home from a successful Easter Egg Hunt and Breakfast. Good turn out and everyone had fun. After a quick bite of lunch will start dealing with the lawyer file. Probably take me most of the day just to sort through my paperwork before I can even begin.

    Mick...thanks for the kickoff. Glad the trip to Chester was a success. Nice pics, I do like the zoo.

    Sam...too bad he couldn't text you before you headed out. Nice mill pics, it looks so peaceful.

    Pauly...nice memory to have. Isn't it funny what we'll put up with while actively drinking. Good luck to Michelle, I know for my son 2 weeks wasn't long enough.

    Pi...good luck with the contractor today. It'll be good to just make a decision.

    Shout out to Eloise and NS. I found the grapefruit story interesting as well.

    Off to get lunch and read Mick's jokes. Have a Super Saturday all.....PPQP

  11. #10
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Good afternoon Abbers!

    Just sitting here enjoying the peace & quiet si ce all the kids have gone home
    The next wave of noise is due between 7 & 8 pm when YB returns from his week long trip, ha ha!

    Mick, great animal pics!
    I love the small zoo we have nearby. The best is in Washington DC, it's huge but free
    My daughter & I both were making kombucha for a while. The problem is it seems to need pretty constant attention & a bit of TLC. I will get back to it eventually, it was good.
    The greenhouse project will begin once YB officially retires, possibly later next month. I never really know what the hell he is thinking or doing, it's a freaking mystery.

    Sam, sorry you were stood up by your client, that stinks. Your mill pics are great!
    We have had snow flurries off & on for the past few hours but they melt when they hit the ground.

    Pauly, the younger generation needs to understand that passing a drug test is mandatory in most job situations these days. I understand that the hospitals won't hire you anymore if you have nicotine in your system, geez. We've all had jobs where we had to deal with random testing - no warnings! Gotta do what you gotta do if you want a paycheck.

    NS, I had forgotten all about the Seldane fiasco, that takes me back. My allergies are problematic, nothing helps much. Like Pauly, I use a lot of local, raw honey.

    Pie, keeping my fingers & toes crossed for you!

    PQ, it seems you have been battling with lawyers since I first met you here, so sorry.
    I hope you can get this squared away quickly.

    Hello to everyone dropping in later.
    Have a great AF day!

    Lsv
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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