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Thread: w/c17th

  1. #11
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    Good evening Abbers,

    I'm here Det - mostly covered in cookie dough, ha ha! Spent the afternoon mixing up a whole lot of different cookie doughs with plans to bake them later in the week.
    Your picture is gorgeous! Is that really on planet Earth????
    I hope you enjoyed your pork roast, sounds good
    The new phone is a birthday gift to myself! I don't buy myself much of anything & my birthday is coming up on Tuesday so......
    I thought I deserved to have one good phone before I croak, ha ha!!

    Mick, you must be busy getting ready for your trip you dog, ha ha!!! I hope it's wonderful
    I'll have to remember that there's noel in noel, LOL

    Sam, climbing those mountains should be easy for a spring chicken like you!!!
    Better you than me buddy!

    Pie, great to see you!
    As long as that one glass of wine didn't turn into ?? glasses I bet you are going to be OK.
    I can't believe your Dad is still so determined but what can you do? Try not to worry.

    PQ, now I'm not sure if I want to eat eggs anymore, LOL
    Glad your son saved your post for you, yay!

    Wishing everyone a peaceful night!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  2. #12
    Registered User. Pie's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    I very much appreciate your comments, guys! Lav, it was just the one, but noticed that I started contemplating ordering a second, as soon as that stem hit the table.

    Super interesting description of the egg banjo, PQ!

  3. #13
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    morning all ...how are we today then? all good ? you aing gonna believe this go on my jollidays tomorrow ,and Im full of the bloody cold ...i dont whether I got rid of it or it has been lingering.so a bit in the sun should sort it..
    Travelling tomorrow sam...5am ......hows thefeeodolight?

    hiya pauly how are you then ? feelin as crap as moi?what was with the naughty dog?

    hiya ppqp ..it was def marg and not butter on the banjo..and as for gunfire...that used to blow your head off!

    Lav ..no eggs what are you going to do with the ones that you get from your flock /brood or whatever they call them?...have a brew....

    pie ...wine ?????????? thats it the reserved ticket is off yer seat upstairs!!!!!In the grand scheme ..does it matter ..so you had a wine..big deal...glad you stopped tho..it could have gotten seryous...

    hiya det hows you today then mate? hope all is well apart from tired ...



    right peeps gotta get on ...so have a great day


    It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are over sensitive, and there's nothing worse than an oversensitive woman.

    My name is Ron. Let me relate how I handled the situation with my wife, Julie.

    When I took "early retirement" last year, it became necessary for Julie to get a full-time job, both for extra income and for the health benefits that we needed. Shortly after she started working, I noticed she was beginning to show her age. I usually get home from the golf course about the same time she gets home from work.

    Although she knows how hungry I am, she almost always says she has to rest for half an hour or so before she starts dinner. I don't yell at her.

    Instead, I tell her to take her time and just wake me when she gets dinner on the table. I generally have lunch in the Men's Grill at the club so eating out is not reasonable. I'm ready for some home cooked grub when I hit that door.

    She used to do the dishes as soon as we finished eating. But now it's not unusual for them to sit on the table for several hours after dinner. I do what I can by diplomatically reminding her several times each evening that they won't clean themselves. I know she really appreciates this, as it does seem to motivate her to get them done before she goes to bed.

    Another symptom of aging is complaining, I think.

    For example she will say that it is difficult for her to find time to pay the monthly bills during her lunch hour. But, boys, we take 'em for better or worse, so I just smile and offer encouragement. I tell her to stretch it out over two or even three days. That way she won't have to rush so much. I also remind her that missing lunch completely now and then wouldn't hurt her any (if you know what I mean).

    I like to think tact is one of my strong points.

    When doing simple jobs, she seems to think she needs more rest periods.

    She had to take a break when she was only half finished mowing the lawn. I try not to make a scene. I'm a fair man. I tell her to fix herself a nice, big, cold glass of freshly squeezed lemonade and just sit for a while. And, as long as she is making one for herself, she may as well make one for me too.

    I know that I probably look like a saint in the way I support Julie. I'm not saying that showing this much consideration is easy.


    Many men will find it difficult. Some will find it impossible! Nobody knows better than I do how frustrating women get as they get older. However, guys, even if you just use a little more tact and less criticism of your aging wife because of this article, I will consider that writing it was well worthwhile. After all, we are put on this earth to help each other.....

    Signed,

    Ron.










    EDITOR'S NOTE:

    Ron died suddenly on May 27th. The police report says that he was found with a Calloway extra long 50-inch Big Bertha Driver II golf club rammed up his as* s, with only 2 inches of grip showing.

    His wife Julie was arrested and charged with murder; however, the all-woman jury found her “Not Guilty”, accepting her defence that he accidentally sat down on it very suddenly.

    A man walks into a bar after a long ride on his horse. He walks up to the bar and asks the bartender for a beer. When he gets his beer, he starts eyeing this beautiful lady in the corner. Just as he turns back, a monkey runs up to the beer, dunks his balls in the beer, and runs off.

    Agitated, the man says to the bartender, "I can't drink this now! Give me another beer!"

    So, the bartender brings him another beer. Before the man could do anything about it, the monkey ran back over, dunked his balls in the beer and ran off before the man could grab him. Even more angry, the man says, "I can't drink this now. Bring me another beer!"

    He gets another beer and guards it with his life. The monkey sneaks up behind him, knocks the stool out from underneath the man, hops up onto the bar and dunks his balls in the beer. Now the man is thoroughly pissed. He grabs the bartender and says, "Man, I've had it. Who's stupid monkey is this anyway?"

    The bartender replied, "It belongs to the piano player."

    The man walks over to the piano player and says, "Excuse me, do you know your monkey is dunking his balls in my beer?"

    To this the piano player replies, "No, I sure don't, but if you hum a few notes, I'll play it."

    Who Wants to Be a Pig?
    Not sure how true this is, but enjoy anyway




    If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.



    (Hardly seems worth it.)



    If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.


    (Now that's more like it!)



    The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.


    (O.M.G.!)


    A A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.



    (In my next life, I want to be a pig.)


    A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)



    (I'm still not over the pig.)



    Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour



    (Don't try this at home,maybe at work)



    The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.



    ("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")



    The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.


    (30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)



    The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.



    (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)




    Some lions mate over 50 times a day.



    (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)



    Butterflies taste with their feet.



    (Something I always wanted to know.)





    The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.



    (Hmmmmmm......)




    Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.



    (If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)



    Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.



    (okay, so that would be a good thing)



    A cat's urine glows under a black light.




    (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)



    An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.



    (I know some people like that.)



    Starfish have no brains



    (I know some people like that too.)


    Polar bears are left-handed.



    (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer)



    Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.



    (What about that pig??)


    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

    Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

    Life is sexually transmitted.

    Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

    The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

    Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

    Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

    Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

    Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

    All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

    Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

    If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

    Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

    Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

    If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

    If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

    Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

    Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

    Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
    Last edited by Mick; December 18th, 2017 at 11:05 AM.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  4. #14
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    Mae everybody,Mick sorry you're still sick yep bake it out of you in the sun,still sneezy here too and head pressure I really hope work goes smooth,Pie,so your dad is deciding to marry her for realz? I guess not much you can do,PQ,I made a huge spread of chicken breast,scalloped potatoes,pasta sides yesterday and Kell and Lou didn't eat,Brady wasn't home so it was just me and hubs,I really need to get out of cooking for 6 and realize that the kids aren't kids anymore,I'm just so used to cooking for some many throughout the years,Det,lovely pics Lav,glad the chickens decided to stop being divas haha,Sam,hope you have a nice day,wishes for a nice AF Monday
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

    Off the table no MATTER what.

  5. #15
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    MAE ALL...

    Mick...rats, thought you might get over the cold before you leave. Some soaking in the sun is definitely called for. Boss not feeling too good today said he was heading home and the rest of us might as well pack it in too. unexpected afternoon off.

    Pauly...I grew up in a family of 10, never did learn how to cook for just 1 or 2. LOL

    Now that I have some time on my hands going to read Mick's jokes. Have a Marvelous Monday all....PPQP

    Gotta luv the pig.
    Last edited by porqoui; December 18th, 2017 at 02:47 PM.

  6. #16
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    Good evening Abbers,

    Mick, first of all I wish you health & a safe trip to the land of sunshine
    Secondly - I just want to say that RON is an a$$hole, ha ha!!! Glad he got exactly what he deserved, LOL
    My diva chickens produced 3 eggs today. I have no idea what the other 6 did all day!!! I don't exactly have a fridge full of eggs right now.

    Pie, stick with us so we can keep an eye on each other

    Pauly, I find it very difficult to cook for two, almost seems like a waste of time. I was used to cooking for 4 so I still do & just have planned leftovers.
    I hope your day was good.

    PQ, a family of 10?? OH MY!!!
    That would be like feeding a scout troop every night, ha ha! Nice that you had an afternoon off, yay!

    I finished wrapping gifts today & am planning to go food shopping & bake cookies over the next few days. I will be taking no more requests for embroidery, shop is closed, ha ha!
    Wishing everyone a nice night!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  7. #17
    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    hey diddly doo ABerooos!

    Mick, agree with the others.... sunshine therapy should be ace.

    Lav (cookie queen) sounds like fun there. That new phone should take amazing pics and we wanna see them!

    Pauly, I'm cooking for 1 now and it's pretty weird but still I manage to make dinner from scratch almost every night.
    It's a kind of therapy for me I think. Mind you there are some nights i just can't get into it and have a can of kippered
    herring and some raw veggies. At least it's healthy if not creative. Tonight was roast pork, asparagus and baked spud.

    PPQ, what did you do with yer afternoon off?

    was freezing cold at work today. going to bring in a heater to park by me tomorrow.

    No booze demons in sight happy to say. Being healthy is tops in my book.

    it's that time... a cheesy sci fi then off to lay down and podcast a bit.

    gnight loves
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

  8. #18
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    mornin folks 4.30 ..rough as a bag of spanners ,but off to the sun ....have a good one all.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  9. #19
    Registered User. Samstone's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    morning all
    sure hope you get a quick cure so you can enjoy your vaca, Mick. Lots of people around here with the yuk too.

    PQ, finally got the data collector and transit to talk to one another, all this new technology and there is still problems and compatibility. Software competition. what is the age spread of your siblings? I grew up in a family of five and my oldest brother (I'm next to the youngest) seemed so far removed by age (9 years)

    Pi, the other day I was doing some Xmas shopping and was in the beer section for my son, he likes a good stout so I was looking at them. Then that desire starting kinda yanking on me. Realized what was going down and decided I needed to come back here and do a little posting maintenance. I typically don't say much, but checking in is a good thing for me.

    Det, good that the demons are at bay! this is the time of year for all that!

    Lav, I'll be up for cookies soon!

    Pauly, do you live near the mountains that have snow? just wondering, thinking it might give you that xmas fix! Speaking of, suppose to be 60 today here!

    have a good un all
    Sam
    Liberated 5/11/2013

  10. #20
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: w/c17th

    Mae everybody,Mick I feel rough as a bag of spanners too(whatever that means) but yea it sucks,couldn't wait for Kell to pick up Lou last night so I could mop in peace,don't think its the flu cuz I don't have a fever,just a really bad cold that's making me grouchy as hell got to get through work,,wish me luck,Sam,I could go to Mt.Charleston about an hour a way but their snow is man made so far and paltry from what I've seen on the news much love to all and hope everyone has a great AF Tuesday
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

    Off the table no MATTER what.

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