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Thread: w/c 7th

  1. #11
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    Mae everybody,great jokes Mick thank you I have been having the worst sleep and its driving me bananas! I wonder if I'm getting too hot? Vitamins are different? On edge thinking of Kell having the baby? Who knows,,text Det yesterday and I'm sure he'll probly check in today,he seems AF and ok tho Lav,I try to do the leftovers thing with meats I cook and it helps,I mostly love the crock pot cuz I can slam it all in and dinners ready for us when we want,made a roast yesterday and it was yummy much love to all and wishes for a nice AF Monday
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

  2. #12
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    MAE ALL...

    Mick...I think it's just as well you didn't go out detecting. So it was the tide that changed your mind or did Julie have anything to do with it. LOL The initials for our ranch in Duchess were also WC. Yes we got a lot of ribbing over that.

    Pi...I have no idea what my schedule is going to be like today. Two weeks off and start of the month I have a bit of catching up to do.

    Pauly...thanks for checking in with Det, hopefully he'll post today. What is/was Kell's actual due date? I was sure it would be a Christmas baby and then kept looking for an announcement for the 1st New Year Baby.

    Time to get my rear in gear. Have a good one all....PPQP

  3. #13
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    Greetings Abbers,

    After two weeks of artic-like temperatures we are now being blessed with an ice storm
    I really hate this sh*t, no kidding. I'm worried about everyone out on the roads.

    Mick, I have consumed so much coffee that I am now mixing it with decaf - 1/2 & 1/2. Too much caffeine & my B/P goes thru the roof but thanks
    I am trying to make sense of this tragedy but there really is no sense to it really. He died doing what he loved to do but still.....

    Pauly, in addition to changing hormones & the excitement of the new baby we have also just had a full moon. All those things can increase hot flashes. Just ask me, I'm the expert on those damn things.

    PQ. so how was your day?

    Sam, not sure if this ice storm is affecting you or not - stay warm buddy. I hear it's heading up to 40 later this week, yay!

    Pie, what's your next project in the restoration department?

    Det, hope you are OK.

    Wishing everyone a peaceful night!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  4. #14
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    Lav...I was expecting a busy day but OMG! You'd think everyone had lost their marbles over the 2 week break, staff and clients! Trying to catch up and put out fires along the way was a lesson in patience believe you me. We're headed into a deep freeze tomorrow which will bring it's own challenges. Gotta say, it's a good thing I don't drink! Escaping into my book now. Have a peaceful night.

  5. #15
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    morning all..how are we today?hope all is well...got a phone call from the dentist yestrday ..it has been rescheduled for today...eeek...not looking forward to it....so lets have a quick brew before I get ready ..

    det where are you friend ..??????


    My husband bought me a mood ring for Christmas.


    When I'm in a good mood it turns green.


    When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on his forehead.


    Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old grand-daughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation.

    He said, "I did that by accident."

    She replied, "I know that, Grandpa."

    He replied, "How did you know?"

    She said, "Because you didn't say "asshole!" afterwards.

    A businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home.

    So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, all to no avail.

    The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch- hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

    One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

    Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

    The businessman got in the first cab in the line, "How much for a ride to the airport," he asked? "Fifteen bucks," came the reply. "And how much for you to give me oral sex on the way?"

    "What? Get the hell out of my cab!"

    The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

    When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replied "fifteen bucks." The businessman said "OK," and off they went.

    Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

    Stress Management

    Just in case you've had a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works.

    1. Picture yourself near a stream.

    2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

    3. No one but you knows your secret place.

    4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world."

    5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

    6. The water is crystal clear.

    7. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.

    Earl was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent his wife Mary to the hardware store.

    At the hardware store, Mary saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Carl, the manager, to finish waiting on a customer.

    When Carl was finished, Mary asked "How much for the teapot?"

    Carl replied, "That's silver and it costs $300."

    My goodness that sure is a lot of money!" Mary exclaimed.

    Then she proceeded to describe the hinge that Earl had sent her to buy, and Carl went to the back room to find it.

    From the back room Carl yelled, "Mary, you wanna screw for that hinge?"

    Mary replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

    An elephant was drinking at a watering hole when a turtle approached.

    The elephant looked at the turtle for a minute and then gave it a swift kick. The turtle flew through the air and landed several hundred feet away.

    A zebra standing close by asked, "Why did you kick that turtle?"

    "Well," the elephant replied, "That turtle bit my foot 20 years ago. That was payback."

    "How do you know it was the same turtle?"

    The elephant looked at the zebra a minute and said,

    "I have turtle recall."

    The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug.

    "Don't worry", the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white-collar crime too".

    "Well, that's a relief" sighed the stockbroker. "I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading".

    "Oh, nothing fancy like that for me" qualified the convict. "I just killed a couple of Priests".

    An Australian, and Irishman and a Scouser were sitting in a bar. There was only one other person in the bar. The three men kept looking at this other man, for he seemed terribly familiar. They stared and stared, wondering where they had seen him before when suddenly the Irishman cried out :

    My God! I know who that man is - it's Jesus!" The others looked again, and sure enough, it was Jesus himself, sitting alone at a table.

    The Irishman calls out across the lounge : "Hey! Hey you! Are you Jesus"? Jesus looks over at him, smiles a small smile and nods his head. "Yes, I am Jesus", he says.

    Well, the Irishman calls the bartender over and says to him: "I'd like you to give Jesus over there a pint of Guinness from me". The bartender pours Jesus a Guinness. Jesus looks over, raises his glass in thanks and drinks.

    Then the Australian calls out : "Oy you! D'ya reckon you're Jesus or what?" Jesus nods and says : "Yes, I am Jesus". The Australian is mighty impressed and has the bartender send over a pot of Fosters for Jesus which Jesus accepts with pleasure.

    The Scouser then calls out : "Oii whack, would you be Jesus"? Jesus smiles and says : "Yes, I am Jesus". The Scouser beckons the bartender and tells him to send over a pint of bitter for Jesus, which the bartender duly does. As before, Jesus accepts the drink and smiles over at the table.

    Finally, after finishing the drinks, Jesus leaves his seat and approaches our three friends. He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness. When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement:

    "Oh God! The arthritis is gone! The arthritis I've had for years is gone! It's a miracle"! Jesus then shakes the Australian's hand, thanking him for the lager.

    Upon letting go, the Australian's eyes widen in shock: "By jingo mate, the migraine! The migraine I've had for 40 years is completely gone it's a miracle"!!!

    Jesus then goes to approach the Scouser who says: "Back off, mate! I'm on Disability"!
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  6. #16
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    Mae everybody,Mick sorry they had to reschedule the dentist but rather just get it over with if it were me,great jokes haha,PQ,its always hectic after time off from work,especially two weeks I hope today runs smooth for you,Pie,I'm curious what's next to in the restoration department,Lav,hope you're feeling better,it'll take some time,much love to all and wishes for a great AF Tuesday
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

  7. #17
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    MAE ALL...

    Mick...good luck at the dentist, hope the fix isn't too involved.

    Pauly...it'll be a busy day but not hectic so that's ok. We're starting into our deep freeze and snow this afternoon so that's something to look forward to NOT! I saw Vegas was a little cool yesterday too.

    Det...you've been MIA far too long.

    Slowly changing lifestyle habits and this morning's is to make my own lunch. So off to make the egg salad for my sandwich. Have a good one all....PPQP

  8. #18
    Registered User. Samstone's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    how do all?
    great jokes, Mick. hope all goes well at the dentist when you get there.

    not much been happening here other than a relapse of the yuck. this having to be out when it is cold made me cough real hard and something popped in my back, when to the doc yesterday, no pneumonia thank goodness but lost of spasms when I cough. Fun times, anyway right now better living through chemistry, prescribed that is. It's the little things that make life wonderful, like finally getting a shower this morning! Clean body, clean mind, right???

    all the news from the infirmary. be glad when it all goes away. This too shall pass, eh??
    Liberated 5/11/2013

  9. #19
    Registered User. Pie's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    Clever mood ring joke, Mick. Hope your dentist visit had a happy ending. Interesting question, Lav & Pauly. I'll have to give some thought to a next project. My interest in jigsaw puzzles has been rekindled, so that's become a nice diversion. Sam, I don't know how you keep going in this cold when you feel bad. Can you hire someone to do chores for you for a few days?

    I've been thinking about how grateful I am that you guys were so welcoming when I pulled up a chair a few years ago. Thanks, gang!!

  10. #20
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 7th

    Good evening Abbers,

    Pie, we keep the chairs warm so anyone can settle in & feel comfy
    Glad to have you here with the rest f us lunatics, ha ha!

    Mick, I've been thinking about you & the close relationship you have probably formed with your dentist. Hope everything went OK

    Sam, Dr Lav will be checking vital signs from time to time. Be sure to let us know how you are doing.
    I'll be damned if it's not heading up to 60 degrees on Friday!!!! Then it's going to rain big time & go back to freezing - crazy!

    Det, we are thinking of you, please check in.

    PQ, snow time for you? Uh Oh!!!
    Are you interested in packing lunches? A lot of the vegan pages I follow have awesome take along 'meal in a bowl' sorts of ideas & you can always add chicken or something if you like. I like this page: https://detoxinista.com/make-ahead-vegan-lunch-bowls/

    Pauly, I hope your day was a good one

    Last night's ice storm melted off today when the sun arrived & the temp finally went above freezing, yay!
    Wishing everyone a peaceful night!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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