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Thread: w/c 18th

  1. #1
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    w/c 18th

    morning all...well here I am ...never got out this morning ..the snow has got us stuck!!it never stopped all night ,and the winds have drifted it pretty badly ...the road is blocked with about 3 ft of snow in places ...I had to dig the peskies out this morning...its strange my drive is pretty clear but at the side the is a mountain ...ok slight exaggeration of snow..

    so how are we today then ? all good I hope...not too much traffic on here yesterday,as long as everyone is doing well..real strange ...its snowing the sun is out and its blowing a hooley!!
    lets have a brew then shall we ..?probably on my 6th coffee..Ive been up since 4 am..

    20180318_100619.jpg

    20180318_081444.jpg

    20180318_065206.jpg

    just to give you a rough idea...


    a big hello to everyone ...]]

    Susanís Washing Machine Breaks Down So She Call a Repairman.

    Since she has to go to work the next day, she tells him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll send you a cheque."

    "Oh, by the way don't worry about my bulldog Spike. He won't bother you.

    But, whatever you do, do not, under any circumstances, talk to my parrot! I mean it. Don't talk to my parrot."

    "When the repairman arrives at Susan's house the following day, he discovers the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lies there on the carpet watching him go about his work.

    The parrot, however, drives him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing and name calling. Finally the repairman can't contain himself any longer and yells: "Shut up, you stupid, ugly bird!"

    To which the parrot replies: "Get him, Spike!"

    Politics Explained by a Father to his Son
    Whether Conservative, Liberal or Labour , I think you'll get a kick out of this!


    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'

    Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

    I am the head of the family, so call me The Prime Minister.

    Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.

    We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

    The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

    And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

    Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'

    So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

    Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

    He finds that the baby has severely soiled his nappy.

    So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.

    Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and see's his father in bed with the nanny.

    He gives up and goes back to bed.

    The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now. '

    The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'

    The little boy replies, 'The prime Minister is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep sh

    Quickest Way?

    Arnie, a young American, was on a short break holiday in Piddlehinton in the Dorset countryside. The next day he was going for a job interview in London but he needed to ask for directions, so he spoke to local farmhand, Martin. 'Yo, feller, could you possibly tell me the quickest way to London?'

    Martin replied in a rich Dorset country accent, 'You driving or walking, lad?'
    Arnie quickly replied, 'Driving.'

    Martin, the farmhand nodded wisely, saying: 'Oooh aargh, that be certainly the quickest way'.

    For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The previous year he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter.

    Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap!

    "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!"

    "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a lawyer."

    A Modest Essay

    Essay: in order for the admissions staff of our college to get to know you, the applicant, better, we ask that you answer the following question: are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped to define you as a person?



    I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.

    I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.

    I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.

    Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries.

    When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.

    I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.

    I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.

    I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

    But I have not yet gone to college.


    There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's.

    The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

    I live in my own little world but it's OK, everyone knows me here.

    I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem"?

    I don't do drugs 'cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

    A sign In a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea".

    Money can't buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

    I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the "terminal"?

    I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get elected.

    The most precious thing we have is life, yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

    If life deals you lemons, make lemonade. If life deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys.

    I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

    Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a buck at bowling alleys.

    I am a nobody; nobody is perfect, and therefore I am perfect.

    Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.

    That Claudia Schiffer must be a genius because I told a friend my plan to attain world peace, and he told me I have "Schiffer Brains."

    No one ever says, "It's only a game!" when their team is winning.

    Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?

    How long a minute is, depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

    Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

    Marriage changes passion... suddenly you're in bed with a relative.

    Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?

    Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.

    Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: Don't pick that up, you don't know where it's been!
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  2. #2
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    Morning Mick and MAE All To Come....

    Now you're looking more like Calgary. You could be looking out my window! Probably a good choice not going out detecting! We got a skiff of snow overnight but definitely not the amount they were forecasting so it's looking promising that Spring is coming. Was a working Saturday for me, had to get my workstation upgrade finished as it was driving me nuts on Friday with missing programs. Glad to announce that everything is done and dusted and the launch of the online registration for Preschool on Tuesday should go without a hitch! Going to grab a brew and read the jokes. Will check back later.....PPQP

  3. #3
    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    Happy Sunday ABeroooos!

    Mick, yer place looks like mine with the snow drifts. Thankfully the sun is out now so should be a productive day for carpentry and electrical on the trailer.
    on the google photos I used a name different from my real name on the shared album. You can make the change in account settings. Glad
    to hear Jeeves is doing better.
    Regarding the curry... homemade from scratch of course!

    Had a lovely time at a 'sobercats' meetup last night. We did a AL-free St Patties dinner and played board games... good fun. Made some yummy appetizers

    bit the bullet and bought a new camera on sale...now to figure it out... darn thing is amazing but I think it's smarter than I am. d-oh!

    here is another video of a master of the 'riqq' playing a solo. Amazing the sounds that come out of the little thing:
    Riqq solo - YouTube

    be well loves
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

  4. #4
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    Mae everybody,Det and Mick,PQ, you can keep all that snow to yourselves! Wishes for a happy BF Sunday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

    Off the table no MATTER what.

  5. #5
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    Good Sunday evening Abbers!

    No snow here today - it's waiting until Tuesday/Wednesday, can't wait

    Mick, that really does look like a real snowstorm, ha ha! We are used to them, you not so much I guess. The drifting can make shoveling out cars a little tricky!
    Do you bring you bunnies inside when the weather is that bad? I still have chicks in my laundry room, can't wait until I can move them outside!

    PQ, you may see spring before I do, I'm jealous!
    Glad your work stuff is all straightened out, cool

    Det, sounds like you've had a good weekend, nice!
    A new camera is cool & I wish you much luck figuring it out. All new electronics are smarter than I am, LOL

    Pauly, hello to you, hope your day was good.

    Hello to the others, Pie, Sam, et al.

    Have a peaceful night everyone!

    Lav
    Last edited by Lavande; March 18th, 2018 at 07:40 PM.
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  6. #6
    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    Lav, super! not snowing today either

    Pauly, good to see you.

    couple winter pics from this afternoon.

    Shared album - Xring007 - Google Photos

    https://photos.app.goo.gl/jdHpsggAdsyKn8Pj2
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

  7. #7
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    Mae everybody,nice pics Det Mick,I'm surprised I beat you! Kell's birthday tomorrow so I've been shopping for some stuff for her that benefits me,,,like a crock pot,spice rack with all kinds of spices included,I'm excited cuz she's a really great cook,,,way better than my hamburger helper or frozen corn dog dinners hubs starts the new job today and I couldn't sleep great thinking about it,also stupidly drank coffee at almost 5 pm last night so I'd be alert for The Walking Dead so I'm sure that didn't help but I surprisingly feel ok waves to PQ(I made a roast last night,was excellent!) Lav,Sam,Pie,,wondering whatever happened to Sunflower? Haven't seen her in ages,wishes for a happy,happy BF Monday!
    Last edited by paulywogg; March 19th, 2018 at 07:06 AM.
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

    Off the table no MATTER what.

  8. #8
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    pauly ...ok you win today....Ive been to the dentist this morning...a check up and the final covers put on the screws in my teeth...2years 3 weeks, 132 injections, top jaw drilled 9 times, a lotta pain...worth it? definitely ..oh and a few pounds too...so you were up early doors? best of luck in the new job too your hubby...havent seen SF for ages either.....have a great day.

    hiya det ....those are good pics!!well done mate....ghoware you doing?things coming together?good keep it up mate....

    hiya Lav...brew time ..you wouldnt believe it ....all that snow has melted!ok some bitz and batz in the garden but in the main most of it has gone ..no the rabbits dont come in ..they wont..it stresses them up ..despite the fact there are hutches for them inside.they hate it ...so they have got stashes of hay in the hutch and hot water bottles...

    hiya ppqp...how are you today then?snow has gone,but the cold spell is still here big time..-5 this morning.best of luck with the pre skool regystrashun.......

    well norra lot on here ,but wishing you all the best ..

    One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

    After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he’d like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.

    A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and asked her to pick out three hymns.

    Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, “I’ll take him and him and him”.

    Thoughts for Today

    Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.


    When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.


    The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.


    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.


    Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are ' XL.'


    The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.


    There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt .


    Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'


    The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.


    Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved..


    When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.


    Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.


    Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf


    Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.




    t may be that your whole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.

    I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

    At least you're not being rectally probed by aliens.

    What if, at this very moment, you are living up to your full potential?

    The more you think about things, the weirder they seem. Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk?? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, "I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em.

    My favorite poem is the one that starts "Thirty days hath September" because it actually tells you something.

    Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

    Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

    Do not believe in miracles, rely on them.

    We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.

    I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.

    My ambition is to live forever - so far, so good!

    Don't follow in my footsteps, because I run into a lot of walls.

    Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.

    Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when you leave.

    If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

    This morning I looked down at my unmade bed and decided that it was art in another medium and I should not destroy it.

    If you can't say anything nice... come sit by us.

    Know what I'm thinking? No. Neither do I; frightening, isn't it?

    If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

    Never say "OOPS!" always say "Ah, Interesting!"

    This isn't Burger King, you can't have it your way.

    My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

    If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  9. #9
    Registered User. Pie's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    If anyone is looking for Spring, it's here. The little Crape Myrtle tree that I planted last summer has put on enough leaves to actually throw some shade.

    tree.jpg

    Got my laptop back from repair today; seems I picked up some malware out on the WWW. So thankful that they were able to fix it for me. So far, MWO wins the prize for most time spent recovering password. Likely because my account here is tied to an email address that I don't actually use, and hence couldn't find the password for...

    Pauly, I'm a huge Walking Dead fan too! Look forward to it every Sunday, but sometimes doze off before the end.

    Greetings to the rest of the gang!

  10. #10
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: w/c 18th

    Good evening Abbers,

    We just had the nicest day, sunny & 50 something degrees. Tomorrow it all goes away, ha ha! Storms predicted for tomorrow & Wednesday & now they're talking about maybe once next week too, geez. Tomorrow is spring so happy spring everyone!

    Det, very nice pictures & I see the water is not frozen so that's a good sign

    Pauly, I hope your husband's new job is a good fit for him. Changes can be rough but they are necessary.
    Get your daughter busy cooking for you - great idea! Has she ever thought of running her own catering biz? That would be cool.

    Mick, sounds like the dental work was worth the pain 7 agony. Bet you're happy it's finally done
    We had a bunny rabbit when the kids were young. I loved him but was extremely allergic to him & so was my daughter. We used to stuff bunny house with straw & he was fine during the winters.

    Pie, good to see you & please send spring over this way soon. your Crape Myrtle looks happy!
    Remembering passwords is really difficult. I think I'm ready to just write a list & hope no one steals it, LOL

    Hello to the others & wishing everyone a nice night!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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