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    Thread: w/c 10 june

    1. #21
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      Mick's Avatar

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      Re: w/c 10 june

      morning all ...how are we today then?all goood I hope ..dentist visit went well no work ,smiley badge for being brave ,ha ,well ppqp ..thanks for the weather!!we are in the middle of storm hector!!its blowing a hooley at the mo.

      ok brew time ...

      hiya Lav ....firstly ....I really hope you get your dog issues sorted out ..you wont lose the dog....we have never met ,but its pretty obvious you care about your animals .so do you want any tomato plant ? Ive got about 15 spare!!

      hiya ppqp...how are you today then ? hope all is gbetter with you or gertting there ..Panda is bouncing about ...I have a friend that used to brreed and show rabbits as well as look after rescues ,her mantra is ..if she isnt in pain leave well alone ...and in fairness it is definitely turned in ,but she isnt in pain gets about ok so it a risk I dont want to take if that makes sense.hope you arent as busy today..

      hiya pauly !!!!!!!!!great to see you here ..how are thing with you then ?any plants on the go ?as for the dentist ...just say it as it is ,..basically along the line ..I have no issue with you on a professional basis, but I feel more comfortable with this lady ,...

      hiya sam ,hows things ? hard work ahead ?take it easy mate ..

      big hello to everyone else too..

      Over a pleasant evening meal some friends and I were discussing going to the gym and the various effects of working out.

      Somebody mentioned that it was possible to get "pectoral inserts" for the "reasonable" cost of $6000.

      I snickered, looked completely aghast and commented,

      "For $6000 you could get a personal trainer and get the same result without surgery".

      Rob replied,

      "For $6000 you could get a woman who doesn't care what you look like".

      One Sunday, a pastor told his congregation that the church needed some extra money. He asked the people to consider donating a little more than usual and that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

      After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had placed a $1,000 bill in one of the plates.

      He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation. He said he`d like to personally thank the person who placed the money in the plate.

      A very quiet, elderly, saintly looking lady all the way in the back shyly raised her hand.

      The pastor asked her to come to the front.

      Slowly she made her way to the front. The pastor told her how wonderful her gift was and in thanks asked her to pick out three hymns.

      Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three most handsome men in the building and said, "I`ll take him and him and him".

      Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

      Dear Walter,

      I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

      When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors' daughter. I'm 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbors' daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.

      When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I'd leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

      Can you please help?

      Sincerely,

      Sheila




      Dear Sheila:

      A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires.

      If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors. Mainly have your air filters cleaned or replaced.

      I hope this helps with your problem.

      Walter

      Ole is a farmer in Wisconee . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

      He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow. He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk. When he grabs a teat and pulls...the cow farts. Surprised, Ole looks at th e farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again.

      He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow.

      When he gets back to Wisconee, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens'.

      Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts.

      Sven looks at Ole and says, 'You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota, didn't yah'?

      Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, 'Yah, dat's right. But how did yah know'?

      Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota too'.

      One day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

      The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny.

      As he gets closer, he realizes that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

      Jim calls out to his golfing partner in excitement, "Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here."

      Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, "What's the matter Jim?"

      "Throw me my 7-iron," Jim shouts back. "I just realized you can't get out of here with an 8-iron!"
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    3. #22
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      Re: w/c 10 june

      Mae everybody,Mickey,jokes are funny haha I just decided to grow my tomato plants in pots cuz the tortoises have been eating everything that I put in the ground! Including some sunflower plants Kell gave me Lav,I hope everything will be ok,6 is still young in dog years so hopefully had to take Winslow for his walk last night cuz Bradys still in Oregon,what a pain when its still hot outside and my allergies were flaring,we were gonna skip last night cuz hubs was feeling sick too but looking at Winslow's face he talked me into it haha,much love to all and wishes for a happy bf Thursday!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    5. #23
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      Re: w/c 10 june

      *Mick,spellcheck changes it to Micky all the time!! Sorry
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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      Re: w/c 10 june

      MAE ALL...

      Mick...Sorry about the weather but it is now starting to rain here so maybe yours will break soon. I expect only dental checkups for the rest of the year. I am a little confused, I understand your friends mantra but when you said it's a risk you don't want to take, does that mean you're still thinking of a vet visit? You do what feels right to you. Things have calmed down here and I managed to solve the couple of work issues that came up today. All in all a good day and looking forward to a wet and restful weekend.

      Pauly...I agree with Mick's advice but know that can be hard to do. I wonder if a second opinion on the fillings is an option. Have you got more than 1 tortoise? When I was a kid we had a huge one that we used to ride around on his back. Couldn't find him for awhile till we discovered him stuck under a bed. Not a good outcome. I think growing in pots is a lot easier to manage. I have a deck that faces south that I often think of planting veg's in pots but the heat that beats down on it all day makes for a lot of work. I admire the work you must face dealing with the heat you live with.
      "looking at Winslow's face he talked me into it"

      Pot roast in a bag on the menu tonight. Still have to peel the potatoes though. Have a restful evening all....PPQP
      Last edited by porqoui; June 14th, 2018 at 08:00 PM.

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      Re: w/c 10 june

      Good evening Abbers,

      Beautiful day here - for real
      Two tornadoes touched down in the northern part of our state last night. One of them not too far from where my son & grandsons were camping, geez!! He said they had no cell phone service where they were & didn't know anything about the storms. All they had was a little rain, oh boy.

      Mick, I do my best to take care of all my people & animals, that's what I do. My dog doesn't seem to be sick, still eating & behaving as usual. Guess I'll have to wait for the bloodwork results & then see what we'll have to do. We stopped in one of the Amish produce markets today & bought some fabulous green beans & strawberries, yum.

      Pauly, it's harder to say no to the dog than it is to the grandkids, ha ha! You really need a mask when you're outdoors.

      PQ, I hope your pot roast in a bag was fabulous.

      Hello to the rest if the gang & wishing everyone a nice night.
      I really, really hope I get my car back tomorrow. Driving this rental is just not the same. It reminds me of the ragged rides of the VWs back in the 70's!!!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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      Re: w/c 10 june

      Lav...something like this?

      vw.jpg

      Is it at least RED?

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      Re: w/c 10 june

      SK...hope you don't mind but I moved your post over to the w/c 10 June thread.
      It's great to have you here. I also check out the monthly thread from time to time especially if I'm looking for someone who hasn't posted here for awhile. We're all in this together no matter where we post.

      Hello, first I would like to thank the daily thread for allowing the monthly thread in.

      Sam, I darned well hate litigation. I's stressful an expensive.

      PPQ, thanks for looking that up for me. I'm using Ipad, but need to fix the other.

      Lav, at least you've had a couple of nice days.

      Today has been 98 deg with 47% humidity I am majorly grumpy and nauseous. I walk

      from my door to my car and sweat is running down my face. I would love to stay home, but Peggy doesn't mind the heat. My dog walker is away this week. So I still have to pick up dry cleaning, grocery store, physical therapy, etc. Yes, I've started PT When I was being assessed today she looked at me front on and said "oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You are really crooked"! I'm sorry too

      I am appalled at Trump trashing Trudeau and then hanging with a murderous dictator, and just calling KJU a tough guy. He is on his way to being a dictator himself. The repuglican party has no shame and makes me sick. Now the NY state is charging the whole family with frau. All of them except Melania.

      Love to all.

      Nice to see you Pauly.
      Last edited by porqoui; June 14th, 2018 at 10:31 PM.

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    14. #28
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      Re: w/c 10 june

      morning all ,how are we today ..Hector has disappeared ,and the wind and rain has gone ..so all is good ..rabbitz are out playing,so lets have a brew ..

      hiya pauly ...Mickey here!!!!ha ha... so the tomatoes are in pots ? good for you ,hope fully you get some without the tortoise eating them all!!

      hiya ppqp..hows you then ? I used to have one of those a vw beetle ..mine was bright red ..and a pile of ......the only good thing was you could drop the engine on your own!with regards to Panda ,I am watching her this week.I am away next week from Wednesday till sunday,but when I come back Im taking her .her left rear leg is on a 30 degree twist from in to out,but she is no pain,its almost as if its healed ?I want to say a if the vet can straighten it ,willi t benefit her ,what are the risks in anasthetic ..rabbits are very susceptible to succumbing to anasthetic .I am not prepared to put her life in danger if there is no necessity.I hope you enjoyed the pot roast!!

      hiya Lav hows you then? Strawberries ? yum..The shop down the road have got cherries on sale they are lovely I eat them by the bucket load!tornado touch down ? great for camping in!! I know you care about you and yours so you had a Vobbly Wobbly too? swerent we cool...in fact in winter ..more than cool ..freezing !!

      hiya SK ,how are you today then? hoe did you get on at the physical therapy ?..Is it still as warm there today?

      hiya Sam and everyone else ...have a great weekend.

      Paddy goes into superdrug & asks for KY jelly.
      The assistant says, we haven't got any have you tried Boots?
      Paddy says, I want to slide in, not march in!!

      Question - Why are Irish jokes so simple?
      Answer - So the English can understand them.


      Reilly went to trial for armed robbery. The jury foreman came out and announced, "Not guilty."
      "That's grand!" shouted Reilly. "Does that mean I can keep the money?"


      Irish lass customer: "Could I be trying on that dress in the window?"
      Shopkeeper: "I'd prefer that you use the dressing room."


      Q. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife?
      A. A bachelor.


      Finnegin: My wife has a terrible habit of staying up 'til two o'clock in the morning. I can't break her of it.
      Keenan: What on earth is she doin' at that time?
      Finnegin: Waitin' for me to come home.

      A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. “The material we put into our stomachs are enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.
      Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water.

      But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years, after eating it?

      A 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and said, “Wedding Cake.”

      Lawyer Jokes
      Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
      It's called, Sosumi.

      Did you hear about the terrorists who took a whole courtroom full of lawyers hostage?
      They threatened to release one every hour until their demands where met.

      Did you hear that the Post Office just recalled their latest stamps?
      They had pictures of lawyers on them ... and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

      How are an apple and a lawyer alike?
      They both look good hanging from a tree.

      How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?
      She has an uncontrollable craving for baloney.

      How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
      His lips are moving.

      How does an attorney sleep?
      First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.

      How many lawyer jokes are there?
      Only three. The rest are true stories.

      How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
      How many can you afford?

      How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
      It only takes one lawyer to change your light bulb to his light bulb.

      How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
      You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb. Now, if you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb . . .

      How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
      Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.

      If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

      What are lawyers good for?
      They make used car salesmen look good.

      What did the lawyer name his daughter?
      Sue.

      What did the terrorist that hijacked a jumbo-jet full of lawyers do?
      He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.

      What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?
      They're both extinct.

      What do lawyers and sperm have in common?
      It takes 300,000 of them to make one human being.

      What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?
      Not enough cement.

      What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?
      Skeet.

      What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
      A good start!

      What do you call a lawyer gone bad?
      Senator.

      What do you do if you run over a lawyer?
      Back over him to make sure. Then, make another notch on the steering wheel.
      What happens to a lawyer who jumps out of a plane at 35,000 feet without a parachute?
      Who cares?
      What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?
      He gets taller.

      What happens when you cross a pig with a lawyer?
      Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.

      What should you do if you find a lawyer buried up to his neck in cement?
      Get more cement.

      What type of apparel is the most popular with lawyers?
      Law-suits.

      What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
      There are skid marks in front of the dog.

      What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of dirt?
      The bucket.

      What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?
      A doberman.

      What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?
      The pronunciation.

      What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
      You cry when you cut up an onion.

      What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
      The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.

      What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
      Removable wingtips.

      What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?
      One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.

      What's the difference between God and a lawyer?
      God doesn't think he's a lawyer.

      Where can you find a good lawyer?
      The nearest cemetery.

      Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
      To practice.

      Why does California have the most lawyers in the country, and New Jersey have the most toxic waste sites?
      New Jersey got first choice.

      Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
      Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.

      Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
      Professional courtesy.

      You're trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake and a lawyer. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
      Shoot the lawyer. Twice.

      What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a demon from hell?
      Another lawyer.

      What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?
      His partners.

      What does a lawyer use for birth-control?
      His personality.

      What happened to the lawyer who was thrown out of a saloon?
      He was disbarred.

      What does a laywer get when you give him Viagra?
      Taller
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    16. #29
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      Re: w/c 10 june

      MAE All,

      Mick, I completely agree that if a pet is in no pain, then avoiding risks of veterinary intervention is worth considering.

      Sam, Happy Birthday to you! How did your daughter enjoy the work day with you?

      Det, very cool that you're helping with meal prep.

      PQ, your comment about the dentist maintaining the fillings that he put in, cracked me up! I'd sign that petition, though.

      Pauly, your Winslow clearly has super powers of persuasion to talk you into a walk in the scorching Vegas heat!

      Lav? Whatcha doing in a rental car?

      I'm picking up Dad's laptop from the repair shop today. Tech says the list of crap, malicious and otherwise, that they had to remove is a long one. Hoping that Dad doesn't gunk it up again too quickly. Taking in just one guest pup today. Also significant rain in the forecast starting Sunday. Makes the city uneasy following the flooding debacle from last August.
      AF July 11, 2014
      I can't drink a little, therefore I don't drink at all.

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      Re: w/c 10 june

      morning all,
      Mick, see you're in good form this morning.... lawyer and viagra, yikes.

      SK, delving into the world of lawyers with my son's business/relationship break up. I'm realizing an important lesson, with family or significant others and business, need bylaws!

      Lav, we're starting get blueberries coming in on a regular basis, yum! The Mrs. planted about 20 or so bushes a couple of years ago and they're really starting to come in this year.

      PQ, love the red beetle. I had several of those things, one had a sunroof that leaked on my head when it rained. The old water torture deal. None of them had heat worth a dern. My dad had a square back, though, that the heat stayed on continuously. They were the big go-cart.

      Pauly, ever see the upside down hanging tomato plants, turtles don't climb or fly!
      How to Make an Upside Down Tomato Planter: 8 Steps (with Pictures)

      Pi, how's all in your neck of the woods, hot summer coming on?

      off to do another round of hay this morning, enjoy your Friday, friends. Thinking of you Det.
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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