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    Thread: wc 15th

    1. #41
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      Mick's Avatar

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      Re: wc 15th

      morning all.....how are we today then ? all good I hope ...we had overnight storms but it is as if they hadnt been at all..blue skies again today ...had an early night last night ,feel a bit more less tired today ...so whthout further ado ,lets get on ,
      hiya ppqp,hows you then?thanks for the pic ...yes I think you are right the whit flowered job shouldnt be there ....a fine selection of veggies in there..and also a good few sunflowers too!!I love em...Im off to Italy in Sept ,cant wait to see the sunflowers there ..oh and of course Sorrento Pompei and Herculaneum...did you get the storms?hope you have a nice weekend

      hiya Pauly ,how are you ? yep think we are all in the not cool gang I dont think cool is the in word nowadays anyway!!how are you doing ?ok I hope ...have an ace weekend ..

      hiya Lav ....see you on the dark side of the moon.........................got to agree with you . I still blast that in the car when Im on my own !When I lived near Stafford ,in a little village ,I went to Ozzy Osbournes house for a new year party ..it was absolutely mad !Im guessing now but around 74/75...anyway hows the kid free life doing ?yes I saw the triple yolker....have you ever had any with none? I love making things out of "junk wood"I need a new belt sander ...I burnt another one out yesterday sanding shelves down...
      as for the tomatoes ..yes I will have loads ...and guesswhat ..Im not allowed to eat too many because of the potassium..a rule that goes unhindered let me tell you !!but there are loads to give away .

      hiya Sam and Pie ,TT Det Nora C SK and all the names that yoosta be here , hope you are ok ...

      10 Rules For Men To Follow For A Happy Life

      1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home.

      2. It's important to have a woman who cooks from time to time.

      3. It's important to have a woman who keeps the house clean.

      4. It's important to have a woman who has a job.

      5. It's important to have a woman who likes you.

      6. It's important to have a woman who can be your very best friend.

      7. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

      8. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, who doesn't lie to you.

      9. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed.

      10. It's very, very important that these nine women do not know each other.

      Sincerely,

      Tiger Woods

      Nancy Reagan's Letter to John Hinkley

      We could all learn so much from this elegant and gracious lady. You might recall that John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan in the early 1980's.

      Hinckley was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie to the point that to make himself well known to her, he attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

      There is speculation Hinckley may soon be released as having been rehabilitated. Consequently, you will appreciate the following letter from Nancy Reagan to John Hinckley:


      To: John Hinckley
      From: Mrs. Nancy Reagan

      My family and I wanted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery.

      In our country's spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know that we bear no grudge against you for shooting President Reagan.

      We are fully aware that mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of desperation. We're confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive man.

      Best wishes,

      Nancy Reagan & Family

      P.S. While you have been incarcerated, Donald Trump has been banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado. You might want to look into that.

      Three sons left home, started careers and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give their elderly mother for her seventieth birthday.

      The first said, "I built a big house for Mom."

      The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

      The third smiled and said, "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took 20 monks in a monastery 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for 10 years, but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

      Soon thereafter, Mom sent out letters of thanks:

      She wrote to the first son, "Milton, the house you built is not practical. I live in only one room, but I have to heat, cool, and clean the whole house."

      She wrote to the second son, "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes. And the driver is so rude!"

      She wrote the third son, "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

      Elsie, an elderly lady, stopped to drive into a parking space when a young man in his brand new red BMW drove around her and parked in the space that she had been waiting for. Elsie was so angered that she approached the young fellow and enquired, through gritted teeth, 'I was about to park there.'

      The man looked at her with disdain and replied, 'That's what you can do when you're young and bright.'

      This annoyed Elsie even more, so she got back in her car, backed it up and then she stamped on the accelerator and rammed straight into his BMW.

      The young man ran back to his car and shouted in a stunned voice, 'What did you do that for?'

      Elsie smiled at him and said, 'That's what you can do when you're old and rich.'

      Manure definition
      In the 16th and 17th centuries, everything had to be transported by ship and it was also before the invention of commercial fertilizers, so large shipments of manure were quite common.

      The manure was shipped dried, because in dry form it weighed a lot less than when wet. But once water (at sea) hit it, not only did it become heavier, but the process of fermentation began of which, of course, a by product is Methane Gas. As the stuff was stored below decks in bundles you can see what could (and did) happen. Methane began to build up below decks and as soon as someone went below at night with a lantern, BOOOOM!

      Several ships were destroyed in this manner before it was determined what was happening.

      After that, the bundles of manure were always stamped with the instruction - 'Stow high in transit' on them, so that the sailors knew to stow it high enough above the lower decks so that any water that came into the hold would not touch this volatile cargo and start the production of methane.

      Thus evolved the term -'S.H.I.T' -(Stow High In Transit) which has come down through the centuries and is still in use to this very day.

      The Seven Degrees of Blonde

      FIRST DEGREE
      A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
      The very blonde wife picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 1200 miles from here!" and hung up.
      The husband said, "Who was that?"
      The wife answered, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."



      SECOND DEGREE
      Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
      She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."
      The second blonde says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
      The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"



      THIRD DEGREE
      A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys a gun.
      She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.
      Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.
      The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"
      The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"



      FOURTH DEGREE
      A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."
      A friend says, "OK,what's the capital of Wisconsin ?"
      The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."



      FIFTH DEGREE
      What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
      "Is it mine?"



      SIXTH DEGREE
      Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA Freshman, sat in her US government class.
      The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.
      Bambi pondered the question, then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware "



      SEVENTH DEGREE
      Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house had been burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
      The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby, was the first to respond.
      As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
      Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, I call the police for help, and what do they do?
      They send me a BLIND policeman."
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    3. #42
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      same old thinking leads to the
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      Re: wc 15th

      Mae everybody,Mick jokes are hilarious! I'm impressed you partied at Ozzy's house,must have been wild! In work today but not feeling it,I'm sure I'll be alright once I get there tho,much love to all and wishes for a super,sober Saturday!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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      Re: wc 15th

      @paulywogg-Hey girl, I posted on your Paulysville thread. I cannot believe it's been a year since Jon passed away. Thinking of you, hon. So glad Jon told you he loved you before he went on to a better life. You were the BEST sister.

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    7. #44
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      Re: wc 15th

      afternoon all
      Pauly, agreed good jokes today, Mick.
      not much happening other than working on stuff that doesn't work and my fixes don't repair anything. New valve for post driver, put it on and the valve is too small to work unless tractor is really revved up. Compared to my old one, much smaller. So am I out $500? wait till monday and call the f..ckers. So no fencing again. oh well. Found out I'm going to court as a witness in a boundary dispute. I swear, why don't people get along. Without going into it, this one is the dumbest.

      Flying out soon to Seattle, going to a wedding, niece's. Should be a good time.

      well hope everyone is doing well and enjoying their weekend.
      later
      Sam
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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    9. #45
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      Re: wc 15th

      MAE ALL...

      Mick...Agreed, the white flower has to go. LOL Glad you're feeling a little less tired today and hopefully you'll get a good rest tonight. Storms didn't materialize last night but the clouds are bubbling up as I type, so we shall see. Are there lots of sunflowers in Italy? Having a quiet weekend so far and loving it.

      Pauly...hope work went ok today. I'm impressed Mick partied at Ozzy's as well.

      Rusty...not sure how you get the link, when I type in @paulywogg it just sits there. LOL

      Sam...bummer about the valve, hope you can sort something out on Monday. Frustrating! Another dumb dispute in court, seems Americans will sue over the drop of a hat. Have a great time at the wedding, going to play some tunes for them?

      Brought a load of veg's back from the garden so off to make a salad. Hope you're all enjoying the weekend....PPQP

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      Re: wc 15th

      Greetings Abbers,

      Total rain day here but at least we're not getting the tornadoes like the mid-west is getting, wow!

      Mick, that egg was the first ever triple yoker & yes, we do get an occasional egg with none. I guess the chickens have ADD too, ha ha!
      Much quieter so I was able to get a lot more unpacking done. We have too much STUFF I should just pitch it or donate all that unnecessary stuff, ugh.
      Glad you saw blue skies today.
      Btw - did you send this tool over here as a punishment for us sending the orange menace over there?? HA ha Nigel Farage flies under radar to support Trump-backed Senate candidate | Politics | The Guardian

      Pauly, hope your work day wasn't too bad

      Sam, sorry about the continuing trouble with your post driver Is renting one for a day or two out of the question? I know YB has rented them in the past for small jobs.
      Good luck with your court appearance, hate that stuff myself.
      I hope you have a great trip to Seattle. I've never been there but I wouldn't my going some day

      Hello to Rusty & everyone.

      Just a note to let you know that I've heard from SK again. Poor thing has fallen again & has fractured her other wrist (in addition to the hand fracture she endured previously). She is going to some facility to recuperate & get physical therapy. I really hope she does well & can get back to her home.

      Wishing everyone a nice night!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    12. #47
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      Re: wc 15th

      Lav,
      that's bad news for SK. dang!

      oddly enough I had one to rent this weekend then my new valve came in and I canceled, go figure, eh?

      PQ, taking some noise makers on my trip, oh yeah!
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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