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    Thread: w/c22th

    1. #1
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      w/c22th

      mae all how are we today then? hopefully all well ...another week starts...bit overcast here today ,with alleged rain later on ,been up since stupid o clock..Amy has been on the phone about her cat ...its poorly ,so ..bank of dad to assistance ...but hey thats what we are here for I reckon.....Rabbits are out playing they love it when its cooler like this ,My tomatoes are reddening off in the greenhouse well..them and courgettes are on the meal for tonight ..

      but first ...a brew ..

      hya pauly ,hows you then ....firstly I will reword what Rusty wrote ...you ARE the best not were !!yep the party at Ozzys was in his cottage a place called Ranton..just down from the watering hole we used to go to called the Hand and Cleaver..dont know if it exists...my brother still lives round there.hows your weekend going?all good I hope .big hugs to you.

      hiya sam so the valve isnt valving properly ..? more revs more juice ..more juice more money outta pocket all round!get them foned!!so you are off to Seattle ..? get a lotta sleep before you go.....have a great day my friend

      hiya ppqp,hows you then?so the weed is gorn?Yes there are fields of sf in Italy ...especially Tuscany, thats where I got the liking from....oh and ice cream too...overcast here supposed to rain ...we will see ..hope the weekend is going ok for you ...I couldnt get the train tracks right so ripped it up start again time!

      hiya lav..how are you then? ok hopefully...what do you mean tool? he is one of the finest we have to offer ....the fact that he likes you better than us is great ...go live there muppet..thankfully he never got into power ...we have a few more you can have if you are running short of dimwits!..Yes I had salad last night ....tonight roasted veggies and here your brew in a cup ...or is it in a farage (mug!) have a good one

      hi sk ...if you are there ..hope you get better soon ...take it easy

      right peeps will put some jokes up after have a great weekend
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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      Re: w/c22th

      what ho friends! off to a subdued start this morning. Wife snoring away upstairs so I have to type quietly. Hope to go a commemorative jam this afternoon then playing out at Big Meadows on the Skyline Drive. So full day of play.
      Thanks for the kick off to a new week, Mick. Doing any mental detecting these days?
      hope everyone has a luverly day. off to feed the chickens.
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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      Re: w/c22th

      A young man graduated from the University of Arkansas with a degree in journalism. His first assignment for the newspaper who hired him was to write a human interest story. Being from Arkansas, he went back to the country to do his research. He went to an old farmer's house way back in the hills, introduced himself to the farmer and proceeded to explain to him why he was there.

      The young man asked, "Has anything ever happened around here that made you happy"?

      The farmer thought for a minute and said, "Yep! One time one of my neighbor's sheep got lost. We formed a posse and found it. We all screwed it and took it back home".

      "I can't print that!" the young man exclaimed. "Can you think of anything else that happened that made you or a lot of other people happy"?

      After another moment, the farmer said, "Yeah, one time my neighbor's daughter, a good looking girl, got lost. We formed a big posse that time and found her. After we all screwed her, we took her back home".

      Again, the young man said "I can't print that either. Has anything ever happened around here that made you sad"?

      The old farmer dropped his head as if he were ashamed and after a few seconds looked up timidly at the young man and said, "I got lost once".

      Little Johnny went to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news.

      Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tries to console little Johnny saying, "But don't worry, the cat is in heaven with God now".

      Little Johnny replied, "What's God gonna' do with a dead cat"?

      ]A old man stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves three pennies for a tip.

      As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself, "You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves".

      The old man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, really?
      Tell me, what does my tip say"?

      "Well, this penny tells me you're a thrifty man".

      Barely able to conceal his pride, the man utters, "Hmm, true enough".

      "And this penny, it tells me you're a bachelor".

      Surprised at her perception, he says, "Well, that's true, too".

      "And the third penny tells me that your father was also a bachelor".

      A farmer went to the local bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.

      The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.

      Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.

      Next week, Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped. The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all of my cows! He broke through the fence, and bred all my neighbor's cows! He's been breeding just about everything in sight. He's like a machine"!

      "Wow," said Banker Bill, "what did the vet do to that bull"?

      "Just gave him some pills", replied the farmer.

      "What kind of pills" asked Banker Bill?

      "I don't know, but they kind of taste like peppermint".

      A wife and her husband were having a dinner party. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn't have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails.

      Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself "Wouldn't it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me." He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him.

      They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place.

      They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy, that he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there. At seven o'clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, "Oh no!!! My wife's dinner party!!!" He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment.

      He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails. There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he's been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said:

      "Come on guys, we're almost there"!
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

    4. #4
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      Re: w/c22th

      Mae everybody,didn't have time to post this morning cuz hubs whisked me out the door to Denny's cuz he said he was starving to death haha! Cute jokes Mick and the feeling is mutual,you know how much I care about you and all my MWO peeps Sam,Seattle should be fun,LB and her boyfriend took Brady up for a day trip when he was in Oregon they ate at some place called Dick's and went to the Space needle? Looked fun but I hate heights! Been on the Stratosphere but that was in my heavy drinking days so it didn't bug me,now I'd probably have a heart attack in the elevator,yikes! Waiting on Nora's granddaughter to be born and have my babies later so off to get things sorted mucho love to all and wishes for a super,sober Sunday,yeah!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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      Re: w/c22th

      MAE ALL...

      Mick...hope you got some rain today. Glad the break in the weather has the rabbits out playing, maybe they'll lift the watering ban. Sorry to hear about Amy's cat, hope it's not too serious. My tomatoes are the size of marbles so they'll be awhile. Am going to make a cucumber/onion salad today though. Thanks for popping back in with the jokes.

      Sam...nice to have those subdued Sunday mornings once in awhile. Hope the wedding went off without a hitch and it sounds like you've got a lovely day planned.

      Pauly...I'm always available for Sunday morning Denny's runs. Enjoy the babies today.

      Bit of laundry to get ready for the week. Other than that just chilling. Have a good one all.....PPQP

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      Re: w/c22th

      Greetings Abbers,

      Huge storm here knocked out the power an hour ago. It also took down two trees in my yard, one was quite large. Fortunately they didn’t hit anything. Rain is dripping thru my kitchen ceiling onto my newly refinished floors & theres some water starting to run down a wall in the basement.

      Can I just say CRAP, SH*T, DAMN, etc

      Will check in tomorrow, hopefully.

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

    7. #7
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      Re: w/c22th

      morning all,how are we then.....Ive just sat and watched Mr Fox going across the fields ,pretty overcast here at the moment...Yesterday,as I said I pulled up all the track on thre bottom section of my railway ..I have relaid 2 of them ,it runs much much smoother ..I probably spent a hooge chunk of the day up there yustaday...ok brew time...

      hiya Lav....wow what can I say ? where is the water leaking thru from?the roof, a joint or somewhere else..I guess I know what Bill the leak fixer will be doing this week then!here you are a sympathetic brew...hpe it gets fixed rapido ...

      hiya ppqp ....hows you then today ?you want some big tomatoes?Ive got spare here .It was pretty serious with Amys cat it was in agony so she took it to the vet who examined it ,said it couldnt wee properly as its urine was crystalising ,gave it some meds ..still not happy she took it to another vet ,who told her to take it to a specialist that night ...now they want paying up front...the insurance will pay but this vet gang wanted the money up front..hence bank of me ..I aint a cat lover but an animal in pain ...? nah ..anyway they gave it a scan,,,and bearing in mind a at as a bladder the size of a small tomato..they drained off 3/4 litre of urine...no wonder it was in pain..how the hell did the other vet miss that one then? we got a bit of rain last night on a well scorched grass

      hiya sam how did the toonz go all good I hope ...you on to that company today then? best of luck withthe post putter inner...no detecting yet ,probably about 3 weeks yet

      hey howz the Dennys queen then ? you doing good? hope so ..I used to hate heights ,but now they dont bother me too much ...yo got the kidz today? have a good one...

      big hi to everyone else ...

      One night at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."

      They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a story.

      "Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting expedition in Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing. On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest my feet. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest damn lion I'd ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this: RRROOAARRR! ...........I tell you, I just shit my pants."

      The young men looked astonished and one of them said, "I don't blame you, I would have shit my pants too if a lion jumped out at me."

      The old man shook his head and said, "No, no... not back then, just now, when I said RRROOAAARRR!"

      While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students.

      "As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Michael, what would you do in a case like this?"

      "Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too."

      David Beckham decides to go horse riding. Although he has had no previous experience he skillfully mounts the Horse and appears in complete command of the situation as the horse gallops along at a steady pace.

      Victoria admiringly watching her husband.


      After a short time David becomes a little casual and he begins to lose his grip in the saddle, he panics and grabs the horse around the neck shouting for it to stop.

      Victoria starts to scream and shout for someone to help her husband as David has by this time slipped completely out of the saddle and is only saved from hitting the ground by the fact that he still has a grip on the horses neck.

      David decides that his best chance is to leap away from the horse, but his foot has become entangled in one of the stirrups. As the horse gallops along David's head is banging on the ground and he is slipping into unconsciousness.

      Victoria is now frantic and screams and screams for help!!!!

      Hearing her screams, the Tesco's Security Guard comes out of the store and unplugs the horse.

      I recently returned from a trip to the Middle East.

      It was an experience I will long remember. I had expected to find nomads living in the middle ages. Instead I found the area to be firmly in the twentieth century. I remember most the faithful Muslims being called to come to prayer.

      They now use microphones. They have become ... Mecca-nized.

      My Dear Husband

      I am sending you this letter via this internet communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO.

      The children are doing well. Tommy is seven now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project, all the figures were good, and the back of your head is very realistic. You should be very proud of him.

      Little Jennifer turned three in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday.
      What a grand day for Jenny, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out.

      I am doing well. I went blonde about a year ago, and discovered that it really is more fun! George, I mean, Mr. Wilson the department head, has uh, taken an interest in my career and has become a good friend to us all.

      I discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you didn't mind being vacuumed but that feather dusting made you sneeze. The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last spring; I'm sure you noticed it. I made sure that the painters cut holes in the drop sheet so you wouldn't be disturbed.

      Well, my dear, I must be going. Uncle George, uh, Mr. Wilson, I mean, is taking us all on a ski trip and there is packing to do. I have hired a housekeeper to take care of things while we are away, she'll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup and bring your meals to your desk, just the way you like it. I hope you and the computer will have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy, Jenny and I will think of you often. Try to remember us while your disks are booting.

      Love,

      Your Wife


      A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to, "Where do pets come from?"

      Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

      And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

      And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

      And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

      And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

      After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."

      And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."

      And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.

      And Cat would not obey Adam.

      And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

      And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog was happy.

      And the cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.



      An 80 year old man went to the doctor for a checkup and the doctor was amazed at what good shape the guy was in. The doctor asked, "To what do you attribute your good health?"

      The old timer said, "I'm a golfer and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways."

      The doctor said, "Well, I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?"

      The old timer said, "Who said my father's dead?"

      The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your father is still alive? How old is he?"

      The old timer said, "He's 100 yrs old and, in fact, he golfed with me this morning. That's why he's still alive, he's a golfer."

      The doctor said, "Well, that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it. How about your grandfather? How old was he when he died?"

      The old timer said, "Who said my grandpa's dead?"

      The doctor said, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! How old is he?"

      The old timer said, "He's 118 yrs old."

      The doctor was getting frustrated at this point and said, "I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?"

      The old timer said, "No... Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he got married."

      The doctor said in amazement, "Got married!! Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?"

      The old timer shot back, "Who said he wanted to?"
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

    8. #8
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      same old thinking leads to the
      same old drinking
       
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      Re: w/c22th

      Mae everybody,Mick,terrible about Amy's cat I think bladder issues are pretty common in cats tho,I thought maybe it had gotten hit by a car or something else from when it went missing a couple of weeks ago,loved the David Beckham joke,used to have a crush on him have the boys this afternoon,yesterday I couldn't stop sneezing,my head hurt,etc so I wasn't too fun of a Nan but luckily they were both being good,I think Romeo was so fussy the other day cuz it turned out he had an ear infection when Kell took him to get shots,the doc was so mean to Kell acting like she just let it go on and on but that's not true cuz she had taken him to the quick care twice and they never found anything! I told Kell I wanted her to switch pediatrician anyhoo cuz I didn't like that docs attitude when she told Kell he was too fat months ago,he's healthy and that's all that matters to me,made Kell cry that the doc was acting like that toward her,Kell's a great mom and doesn't need that kind of talk down,Lav,that sucks about the leak always something I swear,waves to PQ and Sam,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Monday!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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      Re: w/c22th

      MAE ALL....

      Lav...well that just SUCKS! Did the reno's have anything to do with it? If I remember correctly you were just having the floors redone. Hope you can get it sorted soon.

      Mick...most of the day on the rails, temps must have really come down. You're like me, no nigger rigging (can I say that on here?), rip the whole thing out and start again. A former co-worker said I was a perfectionist, I could be accused of worse things. LOL I'm glad Amy persevered when she wasn't satisfied with the first vet's diagnosis. I used to just accept any opinion from a professional but have learned that it really does pay to get a 2nd opinion. Hope her cat recovers quickly. I would love some tomatoes as I can't even go begging to the other gardeners we're just that far behind you in the growing season.

      Pauly...I'm the opposite of Mick. Heights never bothered me before and now I get vertigo just watching some shows on TV. LOL I was thinking the same thing about Amy's cat being in an accident while missing. That's the pits about Kells's pediatrician and good advice about switching. Your relationship with your Dr is so important, I can and will tell mine anything. In Kell's case I probably wouldn't say boo. Nobody needs to be talked down to.

      Boss and co-worker back today. At least I can leave the decision making up to the GM and have a strategy for ignoring the co-worker. LOL Time she pulled her own weight. Below normal temps and lots of rain in the forecast, sounds perfect to me. Have a good one all....PPQP
      Last edited by porqoui; July 23rd, 2018 at 08:06 AM.

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      Had to laugh at your "nigger rigging" @porqoui lol. My dad used to say it, I used to say it, and I even think my gramps used to say it. I might have a bit of redneck in me, but I'm no racist for sure. My kids tell me that now we're supposed to say "MacGyver it" lol.
      Last edited by abcowboy; July 23rd, 2018 at 08:24 AM.
      Quitting and staying quit isnít easy, itís learning a whole new way of thinking. Itís accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
      Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
      Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

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