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Thread: w/c Feb 17

  1. #11
    Registered User. Pie's Avatar

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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    Thanks for that photo, Lav. Hoop houses make perfect sense to me now. Looks like lotsa basil growing in that one. Enjoy your holiday, PQ!

  2. #12
    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    Happy unhung Monday ABerooooos!

    Pie, thanks for booting us up and hope things perk up there. sometimes we just need to evaluate things and even shake-ups aren't bad.
    With all the shakeups I've been enduring that's what I've been telling myself anyway

    Mick, yay for Roman treasure! that lovely coin is in amazingly good shape.

    our new Refuge meet location is fantastic so we have at least 1 meet per day every day of the week now.

    Lav, thank you for the kind wishes... yes things will stabilize here for me.... finally.... they just have to right? lol

    Pie, oh yes, 'resident funeral agent' is correct. Not digging graves etc. I'll be educating clients on the benefits of prearranged cremation
    services. It's actually a great service and something I'd never pondered before.

    Ok, y'all ain't gonna believe this one:
    yesterday at the gym after my workout I depart the shower/locker area and walk out to the coed section that has the pool/sauna/steam room and proceed to
    just walk around a bit deciding what to do next. i notice folks are looking at me and some are smiling. I thought that was nice and smile back. Then I walk to the
    far side to the drinking fountain and see myself in the mirror. I'm totally 'al fresco'. not kidding. I very calmly turn around and march all the way back through
    the facility and into the locker rooms. holy crap! Hi my name is Det and I'm an exhibitionist. LOL so basically I've had a childhood nightmare of appearing naked
    in public actually come to life... and it didn't kill me. I was actually pretty calm about it at least.

    ok, since there's no topping that one...

    a hem..

    forgot that today is a silly holiday so i have message out to new workplace to see if we are still meeting today. In the meantime
    it's breakfast time.

    shouts to SK, PPQ, Sam? , my neighbor Pauly

    be well loves
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

  3. #13
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    hiyaall...just got back..whata nightmare ...there was a smash on the motorway so they shut it completely...there was a bad fuel spill so they will have to resurface it again.Icame up through where I used to live when I first came out of the army ,hasnt changed a bit..think the bins have been emptied but apart from that,up past Manchester airport ,Stock[port ,Oldham and home...weary now...Nice to see brother .I took him a haggis ..he was well chuffed.

    hiya Lav ...so you like foreign languages next time Ill speak to you in Jockanese!!hoop houses ?we call them polytunnels ..but they are great for growing stuff in ..In case you didnt notice I like travlin too..next week we are supposed to have temps at 18/20 degreez..already the hottest Feb for a long time .

    hiya Pauly ..howsyou doing then?good I hope ...hamburger soup ..sounds like a good title .

    hiya ppqp ..you ok ..ta for posting message .You had a good day orf?hope so ..

    hiya sk pie sam etc ...hope you are all well..I feel really weary /..need to go have a shower to wake up!

    I went the pet store and saw this interesting looking device...

    "What's this ?" I asked the salesgirl.

    "It's a water purifier for your dog's drinking water ... Only 50 quid."

    "No, he won't be needing that," I replied, "I saw him eat a poop this morning."

    Caster semenya south african 2 times olympic women's 800m champion, has had a history of tests to prove she is actually a woman.
    Today she is appealing against the I.A.A.F ruling on the levels of testosterone allowed in competing female athletes.

    Caster said "if this ruling prevents me from running in womens events, it will be a massive kick in the nuts".

    PPQP.....

    I just ordered my colleague a ‘hope you get better soon’ card.
    She’s not ill. Just rubbish at her job.

    My father's eyes filled with tears as he held my newborn son for the first time.

    "He reminds me so much of you," I told him.

    "Is it the eyes?" he smiled.

    I said "no, it's because he sh,ts himself every 15 minutes."

    The attendant blew his whistle and shouted, "Get that dog out the pool immediately!"

    "And where does it say I can't bring my St Bernard swimming?" I gloated.

    "On the sign sir!" pointing."'NO HEAVY PET IN'."

    When I was younger I had ambitions to make a lot of money and become wealthy.

    I was online and saw this advertisment to order this book that would show me directly how to make a lot of money and guide me on my path. The book cost 40 quid and I figured it was worth it, so I ordered it.

    When the book arrived in the mail, I eagerly opened it up and began reading it, and it basically said to me, "Now go and do to someone else what I just did to you."

    Ireland Declares War on France
    Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

    "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy, Down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on you!"

    "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

    "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"

    Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

    "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."

    Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

    "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.

    "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor."

    Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

    "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."

    Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!"

    Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

    "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."

    Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr. Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

    "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

    "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness, and decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."


    Actual Call Centre Conversations
    Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?"
    Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?"
    Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
    Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".

    Samsung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".
    Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"
    Operator: "I think it means the telephone point on the wall".

    RAC Motoring Services
    Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?”
    Operator: "Doesn't the product name give you a clue?"

    Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France). "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

    Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".
    Operator: ”I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"
    Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".

    Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
    Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
    Caller: ”Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".

    On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".

    Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".
    Customer: "OK".
    Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK. Right-click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
    Customer: "No".
    Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
    Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".

    Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
    Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

    Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?"
    Last edited by Mick; February 18th, 2019 at 01:37 PM.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  4. #14
    Registered User. caysea's Avatar

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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    Hi All
    Det you had me laughing
    Have to add a funny story along those lines.
    I was playing mixed doubles ( man teamed with a women) at an indoor tennis facility in the winter. Being cold we all had our warm ups on an took them off when we starting to play. I had my back to my opponents and turned around to serve and saw the other male standing there in his tidy whites. We normally have a pair of tennis shorts under our warm ups but I guess he forgot to put them on. I walked up to the net and signaled to him to look down. with that he sees what we are looking at and runs to put back on his warm up pants. It had always been a fear of mine that would happen and to see him and his face has me always checking. A good laugh for all but no harm done. But I do think your story tops that.

    Det you are sounding great and adding the face to face might just be th Key you need. Keep involved and connected helping others helps yourself. I volunteeredred for 2 years at th start of my recovery. It was at the boys and girls club teaching tennis ( knee gave out) it didnít allow me time to get involved with al.
    Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
    AF 5-16-08

  5. #15
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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    Mick, thank you so much for taking the trouble to post the drone footage. I don't remember A.U.L., except for the time I
    was with mom and someone staggered out of a pub fell down and cracked his head like an egg. Mom was asked to make a statement. or maybe it was Ashton. Are Ashton and A.U.L. connected now? I don't recognize it but mostly just visited my aunt and cousins.

    Pauly, actually that soup sounds good and I have heard of cheeseburger soup.

    Det, that job is significant, and years ago our financial adviser told us to do just that. It's a relief to do it. Watch BERNIE with Jack Black, it's related. You naughty boy. The story is hilarious.

    Something the Kardashians might do.

    Lav, I can't respond specifically because when I go back, it wants to kick me out. I hope you had a great weekend.

    Remember I was complaining about drop down boxes or pop up boxes, after much googling it appears there's a malfunction in this computer.

    Pie, a covered patio sounds ideal.

    PPQ - I'm having buttered chicken with basmati rice from Trader Joe's but Made In Canada. It reminds me of the President's Choice frozen entrees, which I miss.

    See ya later.


    Mick, that sounds like a heck of a drive, glad your brother appreciated it. Hope he is doing well.
    Enlightened by MWO

  6. #16
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    Good evening Abbers,

    Det - you win the prize for the most interesting post, LOL

    Pie, the Amish farmers here call those things hoop houses or tunnels. All I know is they grow awesome veggies all winter & sometimes during big storms those houses lose their plastic, ugh. It's a big, expensive ordeal putting new plastic on those things.

    Mick, glad you got to see your brother today, sorry about the traffic snafu.
    Enjoy your weather while we are preparing for another snowstorm Wednesday.

    Pauly, I make soup like that using ground turkey, good! Today was vegan veggie lasagna day & it was good!!!

    Hi there caysea!

    SK, you sound good today. Keep doing that

    PQ, I didn't roll out of bed until 8:30 this morning, LOL. I think I slept for real last night, finally. Hope your day was good.

    Hello to Cyn & Sam & anyone else popping in later.

    Have a nice night everyone!
    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  7. #17
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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    Cyn, sorry for not addressing you earlier. How was your day? Is your job like Marie Kondo? The outcome is fine, but throwing it all on the bed will overwhelm me. I should start with the bathroom drawers and move on from there.

    Lav, I have seen those hoopy things nr Vancouver, BC. Campari tomatoes especially, they're in Costco.

    Have a nice evening.
    Enlightened by MWO

  8. #18
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    Hello all - Monday night here, and just about to fall into bed... things have been truly hopping around here; back and forth to NYC, and nutty amounts of things to accomplish. I'll be more in touch this upcoming week, promise!

    Wishing all a great week ahead -

  9. #19
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    mae all..howzwee today then ?I went to bed early doors last night ...was really shattered but up bright n early this morning ..5.30 am ..Nice to see my brother yesterday ..now most people when yuo go to see them ,and they arent too well ..you take them grapes or flowers ...I took him a haggis! he was made up with it .we may be different but we are the same if that makes any sense.... nutso.One of the engines I got from fleabay isnt working right so it goes back today ..all agreed and accepted .The house smells of hyacinths ..its lovely .The neighbours commented on the hanging baskets I have done.ok lets have a brew then...

    hiya SK hows you then?hope all is well..I know Mossley pretty well ...if you look on a map ,I live at the top of Grains Bar ,looking down into Shaw ,so Greenfield ,Scouthead Mossley etc are a stones throw away ..Yes Ashton and AUL are the same ,I saw this on yoo toob ..from 1995 so put it up for you .

    A visit to Stalybridge & Mossley 1995 - YouTube

    hiya ppqp..how are you today then ? first day back after the jolliday ..how did it go ..has your weather improved yet?

    hiya pie how are you then?hope all is well ..have you found a project yet?you want one Ive a few spare here !!

    hiya pauly ...hows you then?hope all iswell ..have you shifted that cold ? or did it it not materialise?

    Det ..Im sending you some clothes mate in a parcel..Areal live version of the Emperors new clothes story...mbh you have done a fair range of jobs! have a good one mate .

    hiya Caysea ...always nice gto see an old face ...NOT I hasten to add literally !how are you doing?11 yrs this year ...well done to you

    hiya teegee ...how are you doing ...that is apart from hopping around..when do you come to the end of all this? its sometime next month?

    hiya Lav..how are you doing then? good I hope..you prepped for the snowstorm?we have high temps this week and two big fat suns ...thurs and sat and a couple of half suns .I think my friend on the farm is buying a polytunnel this year ,they were talking about it earlier ..for the same reason to grow food all year round.They live in a vfery open and windy place so it will def need to be heavy gauge polythene .

    ok peeps ,time for a brew have a good day all


    A young man goes into a restaurant looking for a job.

    As a test, the head chef gives him a two eggs and asks him separate the white's and yolk's.

    Eager to impress, the young guy throws the 2 eggs in the air, they both hit the light fitting and break in 2, the yolks drop in one dish, the white's in another dish, he quickly opens the rubbish bin lid and catches the shells.

    He say's proudly, " There do I get the job"?

    The head chef replies, "No, you f#$k about too much

    Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "suspicious car".



    Apparently it had tax, insurance and the radio was still in it.

    My son's been asking me for a pet spider for his birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were $70 each ! ! !

    Bollox to this, I thought, I can get one cheaper off the web.

    If you're anxious and you know it...
    Clasp your hands.


    A defense attorney was in recovery after open heart surgery.
    He woke up to a bright beautiful morning and saw that the blinds were closed tight and he asked the nurse why?
    The nurse replied, "late last night the building across the street burned down, a complete loss. We didn't want you to wake up, see the flames, and assume that the surgery was a failure."


    Did you here about the big paddle sale at the boat store?
    Everyone said it was quite an oar deal!


    You’ll never see me buying Evian water.
    I’m not stupid, it’s 'naive’ backwards.
    I buy the slightly cheaper Dosyllis instead.
    I think it’s Greek.


    My mates been having an affair with a goldsmith but he had to call it off.
    He couldn't stand the gilt.

    I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that," etc. It eventually became very annoying.

    I am from Niagara Falls and I thought I could outdo him by showing him the "Magnificent Niagara", knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this "Wonder of Water & Power".

    While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes. It was then I asked him: "Do you have anything like this in Texas"?

    He waited a moment before he answered: "No, but we have a plumber that could fix it."

    Little Johnny was at the local supermarket with his parents.

    Little Johnny, got tired of walking, so his Dad let Little Johnny sit on his shoulders. As they walked Little Johnny started pulling his Dad's hair.

    His Dad asked Little Johnny to stop numerous times but he kept on. Eventually Little Johnny's Dad got really annoyed and said, "Son Stop that immediately!"

    "But, Daddy", Little Johnny replied, "I'm just trying to get my chewing-gum back".
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  10. #20
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: w/c Feb 17

    Mae everybody, cute jokes Mick, glad you had a nice visit with your brother Det,I'd die! How did you manage such a silly thing haha,at least you kept your cool much love to all and wishes for a great BF Tuesday, back later
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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