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    Thread: 10 March

    1. #11
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      Re: 10 March

      MAE ALL...

      TG...one more day to go. Good luck tomorrow.

      Lav...I did enjoy my day off. Got close to 50F with lots of sunshine. Managed to even get my hair cut today.

      Det...so glad to hear you've found a place. Sounds like you're doing ok and wow you even managed a coffee date amid all that chaos. Good job.

      Sam...hope you didn't quit your day job. Here's hoping it dries up soon for you. Are you calving?

      Pauly...I'm glad Lou's party was a success and that everyone showed up. Doing KFC for supper tonight, figure I'm still on my day off. LOL

      Mick...was wondering why the youtube vids. LOL I hope you took it easy today and looked after that man flu! I really needed a time out from adulting, so glad I booked today off.

      SK, Pie...hope all is well in your worlds.

      Wishing all a good evening....PPQP

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    3. #12
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      Re: 10 March

      Good evening Abbers,

      Had a mostly sunny, 50 some degree day, nice. Long range forecast doesn't show any more freezing weather so I'm happy

      Mick, you definitely have more interesting ads than we do here, haha!!
      I read something about the storm moving your way today, hang in there & be sure to hold onto your hat!!!

      Sam, I hate throwing away big appliances, honestly. They almost give us no choice these days. I did have a guy here a few times to work on my Jenn Air range & my old Kenmore fridge, he did OK. I hope you get your hay soon, it's tough right now.

      Det, you found a condo, great! I'm happy for you & everything does seem to be falling right into place, yay!!!

      PQ, 50 degree weather is perfect for me, not too cold & not too hot
      I'm enjoying the later sunset too. Glad you made the most of your day off!

      Pauly, what's up with you today?

      Cyn, take a breather now that your house is ready to show. I'm sure you will have an interested buyer very soon.

      SK, Pie hello to you both!

      Have a decent night everyone!

      Lav
      Last edited by Lavande; March 11th, 2019 at 06:29 PM.
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    5. #13
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      Re: 10 March

      hiya all ...well I feel absolutely rubbish..sneezing and snottering everywhere.went to bed early last night and feeling a wee bit better..so hopefully couple of days and it willbe gone .We are in another storm at the moment..storm Greg or Gregor or something ..rabbits arent too impressed no matter what its name is!!
      Off to make another hot lemon!

      Tell the Punchline first.



      How do you ruin a joke?

      The budding actor's agent finally gets him a part. It is only one line, 'Hark I hear a cannon!', but it's the part that could launch his career.

      He practices the line over and over again for days before the performance. He can't mess this up - his career could depend on this. He tells his parents and all his friends he has a part in a brand new production and gets them all to come to the opening night.

      Finally the day arrives. He arrives at the theater and the security guard at the actors' entrance asks who he is. He boasts proudly "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'". To everyone who asks, he grins and says "I'm the guy who says 'Hark, I head a cannon!'" - the makeup crew, the electricians, the set designers, the costume designers, everyone - "I'm the guy who says 'Hark I hear a cannon!'".

      The call comes to him to go stage-side and wait for his cue. He stands there repeating his one line over and over again, 'Hark, I hear a cannon!'.

      Eventually he gets his cue to go on stage.

      Suddenly he hears a loud BANG.

      "What the fck was that?!"

      This married couple was on holiday in India. They were touring around the market place looking at the goods and such, when they passed this small sandal shop. From inside they heard a gentleman with an Indian accent say, "You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop."

      So the married couple walked in. The Indian man said to them "I have some special sandals I tink you would be interested in. Dey make you wild at sex like great desert camel."

      Well, the wife was really interested in buying the sandals after what the man claimed, but her husband felt he really didn't need them, being the sex god he was.

      The husband asked the man, "How could sandals make you into a sex freak?"

      The Indian man replied, "Just try dem on, Saiheeb."

      Well, the husband, after some badgering from his wife, finally gave in, and tried them on. As soon as he slipped them onto his feet, he got this wild look in his eyes, something his wife hadn't seen in many years!!

      In the blink of an eye, the husband grabbed the Indian man, bent him violently over a table, yanked down his pants, ripped down his own pants, and grabbed a firm hold of the Indian's thighs.

      The Indian then began screaming, "YOU HAVE DEM ON DE WRONG FEET!!!

      Two Martians land in the middle of the night in a closed gas station.

      They get out of their space ship. The Martians go up to a gas pump. One says to the other," I think these are Earth people." "Take me to your leader!" says the first Martian.

      No response.

      The second Martian whispers to his partner. "I don't think we should screw with this one."

      The first Martian says "Don't worry. Take me to your leader or we are going to blow you to kingdom come!!!"

      No response.

      With that, the first Martian takes out his laser gun and zaps the gas pump. It blows up and so does the gas station and the Martians are thrown into the air and land in a tree.

      The second Martian says to the other, "I TOLD YOU, WE SHOULDN'T FCK WITH A GUY WHO COULD WRAP HIS D.CK AROUND HIS NECK AND STICK IT IN HIS EAR!
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    7. #14
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      Re: 10 March

      morning all
      Mick, sorry to hear you're under the weather in several aspects. Hope you're feeling better soon.

      Wow several days of dry, going to get a little wood cut today amongst other things. and of course taxes!

      not much shakin here, on first cup
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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    9. #15
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      same old thinking leads to the
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      Re: 10 March

      Mae everybody Mick sorry you're sick,feel better hi Sam,not much shakin here either,piece of crap sleep so I'll just wish everyone a great BF Tuesday!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    11. #16
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      Re: 10 March

      MAE ALL...

      Lav...I see your green light on, we'll probably post at the same time.

      TG...I hope you're busy signing papers for the sale of your house.

      Mick...did you send your weather this way? Started snowing around noon, nothing much actually it's been a fight between snow and rain. I think snow will win out tonight but it's supposed to stop around midnight. So done with this crappy weather. Hope you kick that cold soon.

      Sam...hope it stayed dry and you got some of that wood cut.

      Pauly...hope your day improved, I had crap sleep. Cheated and stopped at McD's tonight.

      Busy day, you'd think I'd taken a week off. At least it went fast. Hope we all have a peaceful evening....PPQP

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    13. #17
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      Re: 10 March

      Good evening Abbers,

      PQ, you're right, here I am
      I pulled the pot of veggie beef soup out of the fridge & put together some spicy black bean burgers for dinner - yum
      Sorry about the snow, it's getting past tiresome. We had sun & 50 degrees today, not complaining.

      Mick, still sick? Sorry about that!
      I seem to be well into allergy season here & there's absolutely nothing blooming, geez.

      Sam, when it's sunny & 50 out you can do just about anything outside, yay!!

      Pauly, I haven't slept decently the past 3 or 4 nights either, I wonder what's going on????

      Hello to Cyn who has her house on the market today

      Hello to Det, SK & Pie, hope you are all doing well.

      Not much else going on around here so I'll just wish everyone a nice night!
      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    15. #18
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      Re: 10 March

      Hello Abbers,

      Well, best laid plans... the day did not have enough good light for them to photograph, so one of the agents came over and brought extra stuff to 'stage' the house. It took a lot of time which I needed for other things, but I'm grateful, now I know the drill. So, more time to get the paint dings and dirty closets spruced up, and if the snow ever goes away I'll do a little front of the house cleanup, and pics Thursday now, so I'm hoping to get the deck furniture out of the screen porch and onto the deck. Cross fingers...

      Mick, sorry you are still sick, get better before your trip! Was it Julie's birthday or something? I don't think I've ever gotten breakfast in bed, especially with all the chores done...

      SK, how are you doing? Hopefully the meds are doing their work!

      Pauly, good news about the car and the pizza parties... I get those dreams, and even when I know they aren't "real" they ar still disturbing... hugs!

      Sam, wow, I hope the hay is able to be harvested- that would make me sick with anxiety about the cattle! Good luck.

      PPQ, how's it going? Some good food and self-care? Hope so...

      Det, congrats in everything, great job - especially as you are still making your meeting and exercising! Fabulous, keep it going.

      Lav, that little girl is star-struck! So sweet. Glad you had a good time at the show and after...

      Shout out to Pie ---

      Wishing all well for tomorrow's Hump Day...
      Last edited by treegirl; March 12th, 2019 at 09:31 PM.

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    17. #19
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      Re: 10 March

      welcome to hump day...we are in the middle of storm Gareth here,its a pretty fierce one...Still got the cold (aka seryus man flu)but it isnt as bad as 2 days ago.Rabbits booked into the rabbit hotel next Friday ,car to garage this Friday ,physio on Monday ,hygienist Wednesday..next week is going to bizzeee...back in a min ...going to make madams brekkie ..before I send her off to work ....
      tis moi ..back again ...Julie fed rabbits fed..
      so brew time.

      hiya teegee....well hope tyour weather is better for putting out the furniture than weve got ...otherwise youll be doing a wizard of oz job picking it up from everywhere.Yep it was Julies birthday on the 4th ..We usually go away to some mad place for it ...she has had birthdays in Moscow,on thegreat wall ofChina,the Pyramids in Egypt,India (twice)Cambodia,Animal Kingdom ,Florida..we tried to get Sri Lanka ..but couldnt hence next week ...as for the brekkie ..I do it nearly every day .. best of luck with the house.

      hiya Lav ...yep still got the cold ...but we are now at 6 on the woe is me ometer!!sun?? yeah yeah ....I much prefer snow and rain he says ....lyingly!all well with your gang?

      hiya ppqp/..hows you then today ? one or 2 (hatz)so you went to the golden arches hotel for tea did you??If the weather goes to form ..then you can expect a storm...have a nice day

      hiya pauly how are you doing?did you sleep any better? hope so ..my boogs has got more leaves on it..well chuffed..As I write Im watching the rain ..it is horizontal getting blown up the valley.

      hiya Sam the man ...you well mate ? hope so did you get the wood cut and the jobs done?did you get the washer fixed or are you washing them in the creek??

      hiya sk ..how are you doing not heard fro m you.

      Pie hows you then?you still got the pack there?

      thats it folks time for this ever ever so poorly flu ridden frail being to drag himself orf ......(did that get the sympathy vote???) ha ha see yall

      I told my therapist that "I hear voices."

      "How often does this happen ?" he asked me.

      "Whenever people talk to me."

      Brexit makes me nostalgic for the days when all we had to worry about was a nuclear holocaust.

      Manchester City have launched an abuse payout fund.

      Good, I'll be having some of that, I watched them for years when they were really sht.

      At a recent job interview I was asked if I could perform under pressure.
      I said "I didn't know that one but I would have a crack at Bohemian Rhapsody.

      A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one nigh & It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?
      She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it turned on or off?"

      That ABC singer Martin Fry says
      "when smokey sings, I hear violins"

      I suggest a hearing test may be in order, it could be the start of tinnitus.

      My parents asked me what I wanted most of all for Christmas and they said whatever I wanted, they'd make sure I got it. So I asked for a bike.

      For 2 years now, I've been waiting. They both kept reassuring me that I'm going to get one but they can't decide what kind of bike. I've heard mum say it's too dangerous and I should only have one with stabilisers, my dad says that's rubbish and she's mollycoddling me. They are up all night arguing about it. When I complain, they say that I had no idea what I was asking for when I asked for a bike, nor how extremely difficult it is to get a bike. They now say that it might not be possible but they are thinking about giving me a second chance to choose my present.

      I fcking hate having politicians for parents.

      A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any bread?"

      Barman: "No."

      Duck: "Got any bread?"

      Barman: "No."

      Duck: "Got any bread?"

      Barman: "No, we have no bread."

      Duck: "Got any bread?"

      Barman: "No, we haven't got any f****** bread."

      Duck: "Got any bread?"

      Barman: "No, are you deaf?! We haven't got any f****** bread! Ask me again and I'll nail your f****** beak to the bar you irritating b*stard of a f****** bird!"

      Duck: "Got any nails?"

      Barman: "No."

      Duck: "Got any bread?


      Two Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods.

      All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave.

      "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!

      He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

      The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about.

      "Was the other Indian crazy or what?"

      The Indian replied "No, It is our custom during the mating season that when Indian men see a cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening.

      If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us."

      Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"

      Immediately, there was the answer. "Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!" from deep inside.

      He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

      The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave.

      As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking,

      "Hoo, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found.
      There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!"

      He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!"
      Like the others, he then heard an answering call,

      WOOOOOOOOO,

      WOOOOOOOOO

      WOOOOOOOOO!"

      With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave, tearing off his clothes as he ran.

      The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read.....

      .

      .

      .

      .

      .

      (Get ready),

      .


      .

      .

      .

      .

      .



      NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    19. #20
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      Re: 10 March

      Morning all,
      Mick, pretty funny videos! Feeling better?

      well, needed buying a new fangled washing machine, weird how things change in 30 years, locking top, auto water levels, the Mrs called me to say it wasn't filling up enough, that's the auto water level and starts and stops all the time.... kinda put me in mind of that Hartford song:

      John Hartford - (Good Old) Electric Washing Machine Circa 1943 - YouTube


      hope everyone enjoys their day.... Lav, looks like a nice spring day coming our way!
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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