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    Thread: 7th April

    1. #21
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      Re: 7th April

      Quote Originally Posted by paulywogg View Post
      Hope you get your tire situation sorted PQ what a pain
      Mission Accomplished Pauly.

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      Re: 7th April

      Good evening Abbers,

      Had a nice day considering everything going on. I decided to accompany YB to his monthly firehouse meeting back in our old hometown. While they were at the meeting I did a little shopping near by. Then I took him to the cemeteries to drop flowers for the relatives. I think he finally realized that he's not dead yet, haha! His mood has lightened a little. Thank jeebus!!!

      Mick, sorry to hear about your door. That falls under the sh*t happens category I think.
      I hope your illness clears up soon!

      Det, wow you are on a roll, good for you
      I hope everything works out, job, date, sale of trailer, yay!!

      Pauly, it seems the allergies are easing a bit around here but I don't want to jinx myself.
      My goal is to totally avoid the poison ivy this year if that's even possible.

      PQ, I hope you don't get snow, that's awful. I have dandelions blooming & they don't like snow, LOL
      Can you stop & get your tires filled properly? I'm kind of a fanatic about tire inflation myself.

      Hello to Cyn, Sam, Pie & SK. Hope everyone is OK.

      Have a nice night everyone!
      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    4. #23
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      Re: 7th April

      mae all...us small band ...how are we today then?good I hope ..theres a frost here this morning ...yep a ferost!started doing my plants yesterday ...glad I left some of them in da greenhouse..still got sore froat and bit of a runny nose but the severity and life threateningness is reducing....ha ha ...

      ok lets have a brew .

      hiya pauly ..how are you today then?is all good in the Las of Vegases?hope so.meant to ask you hows the work situation going ? has it all calmed down etc ..

      PPqp...first rule of motoring..always carry a roll of black insulating tape...light comes on ....tape ....what light?!!seriously tho ...glad you got it fixed ..tyres are pretty important pieces of kit on a car ..I you dont pump them up youre going to feel pretty deflated ..ok ok ....

      hiya Lav ,how are you today then? things any better?yeah make sure you stay away from that Ivy...she is poison..in a league of her own that one ...Dandelions ...my rabbits love them!!you take care of yourself ..

      short and sweet...but there again so is this!!take care all..

      I used to have a picture of Tony Blair pinned up on my wall when I was growing up,
      He was always a great influence for me.
      To be honest, I wouldn't be the great darts player I am today if it wasn't for him.

      Breaking news...
      Wayne Rooney is suing Tesco for putting his signature on their hot cross buns.

      A suspected poacher was trampled to death by an elephant then eaten by lions in a South Africa safari park last week.

      Some hunters claim their work is 'beneficial to the greater animal population'.

      Well in this case I agree, those lions might have got a bit peckish otherwise.

      “Now then,” said the boss. “Get a move on, I need you to transport the deceased woman from Los Angeles to Las Vegas by this afternoon.”

      However, I was in such a rush I forgot to close the rear door. Arriving in Las Vegas I was shocked to see the coffin had slipped out without me noticing! Must have happened shortly after setting off.

      ... �� You see I've been through the desert in a hearse with no dame ��

      Three tortoises, Mick, Andy and Roy, decide to go on a
      picnic. So Mick packs the picnic basket with beer and
      sandwiches. The trouble is the picnic site is ten
      miles away so it takes them ten days to get there.

      When they get there Mick unpacks the food and beer.
      'Ok Roy give me the bottle opener.'

      'I didn't bring it' says Roy.' I thought you packed it.
      Mick gets worried, he turns to Andy, 'Did you bring
      the bottle opener?'.

      Naturally Andy didn't bring it. So they're stuck ten
      miles from home without a bottle opener. Mick and Andy
      beg Roy to go back for it.

      But he refuses as he says they will eat all the
      sandwiches. After two hours and after they have sworn
      on their tortoise lives that they
      will not eat the sandwiches, he finally agrees.

      So Roy sets off down the road at a steady pace. 20
      days pass and he still isn't back and Mick and Andy
      are starving, but a promise is a
      promise.

      Another 5 days and he still isn't back, but a promise
      is a promise.

      Finally they can't take it any longer so they take out
      a sandwich each, and just as they are about to take a
      bite, Roy pops up from behind a
      rock and shouts.

      "I KNEW IT!......I'M NOT F***ING GOING."

      Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.

      I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day.

      I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

      My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

      I'm so good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

      My boss told me to have a good day.. so I went home.

      Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands.

      A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia. The librarian says "They're right behind you!"

      The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.

      Why do blind people hate skydiving? It scares the hell out of their dogs.

      When you look really closely, all mirrors look like eyeballs.

      My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange" I said: "No it doesn't"

      What do you call a guy with a rubber toe? Roberto.

      What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old? Aye matey.
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    6. #24
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      same old thinking leads to the
      same old drinking
       
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      Re: 7th April

      Mae everybody,Mick jokes are hilarious today! Thank you no use whining about work cuz I can't change people,PQ,glad the tire situation is fixed but I would have used Mick's method waves to all back after work have a great BF Wednesday!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    8. #25
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      Re: 7th April

      hidy ho ABerooooodles!

      oh my, broken glass, tire issues, frost... things come and go as always. guy looked at the trailer, didn't balk at the price and he's due to come
      today to finish the deal...fingers crossed.

      The job is primo for me... a local firearms and parts manufacturer, so I'll be a big fish in a small pond again. They are true innovators, so loads of
      fun R&D things going on etc.

      Lav, glad YB's spirits are improving.

      my life has been in such a state of flux for so long now it's almost my new 'normal'. although I'm really looking forward to an actual routine again I tell ya.
      Should be very soon as I start new job this Friday.

      Looking forward to hitting the gym this afternoon, then Refuge meeting. Great combo for sure.

      be well loves!
      nosce te ipsum
      (Know Thyself)

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    10. #26
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      Re: 7th April

      MAE ALL...

      Lav...glad YB's mood is lightening, that can be draining on you. Hope you found some good stuff on your shopping trip. My tires are good, except for the one with the slow leak. I think it just needs a new plug in it. Will get them all checked out when I take the car in for an oil change. The snow didn't materialize but it was cold, windy and the sky was just plain black. We're supposed to stay above freezing so hopefully any precipitation will be in the form of rain. We could sure use it.

      Mick...I'm glad you didn't put all your plants out. Looks like you're going to have a late start to gardening this year. Glad to hear the life threatening illness is improving. Love your first rule of motoring HaHa, thought you were going to say put it on the tire. Let me look for your coat.

      Pauly...I like your attitude, you've come a long way. Picked up some pre-made stuffed potato skins so that's my dinner for tonight.

      Det...life seems pretty damn good for you right now, all your hard work has paid off. You're holding true to the saying it's easier to get a job when you already have one. Sounds like this one is right up your alley. Did the deal get done on the trailer?

      Sam...if you're not in too much pain let us know how you're doing.

      TG...haven't seen you for a bit, out celebrating the sale of your house?

      Pi...thinking of you.

      Wishing everyone a good night....PPQP

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    12. #27
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      Re: 7th April

      Quick Hello everyone.

      Everything is fine but the boys are here. Excited they are flying to Arizona tomorrow. That means I get a whole week off, LOL

      Take care

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    14. #28
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      is Changing my thinking cuz the
      same old thinking leads to the
      same old drinking
       
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      Re: 7th April

      Mae everybody,PQ, stuffed potatoes sound good I keep trying to get creative with dinner,some are hit and miss with these guys though,made some fried ravioli the other day(pre-cooked just oven baked) and Michelle thought they were gross I thought she'd be all over them so who knows,Det, awesome on the job,I applied at place clear on Ft.Apache,the drive home would kill me but at least it's a change of scenery,I'm not even sure I'll get it or even what they're looking for just gave my resume through Indeed last night so we'll see, Mick where's my jokes haha been a bit blue off/on lately think it's the wind and the ions it brings,maybe it's just life oh well,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Thursday!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    16. #29
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      Re: 7th April

      Mae all -

      Sorry to be away, I have just been through a big Overwhelm mode, kept working through it, but am drained.

      Mick, glad you are home safe and sound - hope you heal soon.

      Pauly, you sound wise and centered... I hope you can continue in that vein...

      PPQ, so glad things at work have stabilized, yay. Loved reading about the seed swap.

      Det, you are really on the move! Congrats on the new job, and good luck with the trailer and the ladies.

      Lav, dear me, some wrenches thrown into the works I see... sending lots of healing energy to YB... I hope the spots are small and easily contained. I know it is a worry. I'll have to read back and see what's going on with your grandson -- so sorry to hear things are tough with him now. Sending you a virtual hug.

      Hello to SK, Sam (how are you feeling?), and Pi.

      I worked long long days over last weekend to get the front grounds ready to be seen from the street. (Some of you will remember the year that I pulled out all the vines and shrubs and ycky stuff on the north side.. thank heavens I did that then!) lots of sawing and moving of smaller logs, etc. it's passable now. The sign will go up soon. 3 showings last week almost did me in... running around making the winters-mess look decent in between visits. So far no showings this week, so got at the part of the property seen from the house... maybe it will all look nice by the time it sells!

      Question for Nurse Lav - I was spreading mulch yesterday (re-creating a nice rock garden that has gotten lost over the years) and I foolishly was using an old kitchen knife - not sharp, but OK for opening the bags. My right hand slipped and the tip of the knife went a little ways into the inside joint of my ring finger though the garden glove. Hardly bled, swelled up the finger, and hurt like hell. I know puncture wounds can be tricky , so I kept pressing to get some blood to clean out the wound, washed it, put on muciprocyn for an antibiotic, iced it. It's still a little swollen this morning, but less red. Anything I should watch for? Thanks!

      Wishing all a good Thursday... cheers.

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    18. #30
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      Re: 7th April

      mae all ..howsyoozall today?hope well..Ive just taken that glass up to get fixed ...the satnav had got a mind of its own!!toog ages to get there ..on the way I saw a steam loco on a preserved railway so yep watched it and videod it ...but its too big to send to everyone ...aintcha lucky to get away with that one ...really sunny here ..frosty this morning ,but its 17 degreez out there now ..couple of rust spots under the van Ive got to sort out...still full of the cold ,but hey..ok quick brew

      Lav you sound more excited than the kids ...whats in aryzony?is it a jolliday or relatives there? theres a desert there isnt there ...?I think theres a horse with no name lives there ..phoned brother again this morning ....not too good ..but we shall see ...take care and enjoy your doing nothing holiday

      Ppq ..how are you?ok I hope .Pre stuffed potato skins? ..heres a good recipe ..

      take potatoes and part boil
      leave to cool
      Scrape out insides and leave to cool
      put skins in oven and cook till brown
      boil up the scraped out inside of the potatoes
      put into skins ..

      add salt /pepper to taste..

      so whats the big deal with that I hear you say?absolutely nuffing ....but when you are bored silly ..it relieves the boredom of paint drying watching ...now wheres me tablets...

      hey det ..thats right up your street ....armaments have you got it yet and your life is in flux state ...Im sure youll be able to weld it all together ..

      hiya pauly ..you ok today? bhope so ..wheres everyone else ..no I dont mean you go and look for them ..just a statement ..have a great day..

      how are you doing sam?any better mate?

      right ..big shout to the others ..

      A remake of 'Silence of the Lambs' is to be set in Liverpool.
      The new title will be, "Shurrup Yous"

      My lad is in his first proper relationship and I was trying to give him the advice about women that my dad gave me .
      I said "never think you can win an argument with a woman by using logic , that never works".
      "Even if you are right never prove it because she will punish you for proving her wrong and you will wish you had apologised and admitted you were wrong even when you weren't."

      "And finally you can never win on a single point because women always get Historical" he said "surely you mean Hysterical" I said "no son they bring up every fcking thing you have done wrong in your entire life".

      This little Chinese man drank my drink at the pub, and we took it outside for a fight.

      I was stunned, when out of nowhere he went into a complete "Kung Fu opening".... several air punches, a high roundhouse kick, and finally an opening scream that evinced a complete mastery of martial arts.

      So when he came at me, I just smashed his face in with a crowbar.

      I approached the gym manager and told him that the waterproof vinyl edging around the whirlpool was peeling off quite badly, and that he should have it looked at to get fixed.

      "That's not possible," he replied. "It was just inspected three days ago, and it's all in order."

      "I know, but I was just in there for an hour and picking at it a lot."


      1. What did the Buddhist ask the hot dog vendor?
      “Make me one with everything.”

      2. You know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
      Because they’re really good at it.

      3. What is red and smells like blue paint?
      Red paint.

      4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
      5. Where does the General keep his armies?
      In his sleevies!

      6. Why aren’t koalas actual bears?
      The don’t meet the koalafications.

      A bear walks into a restaurant and say’s “I want a grilllllled………………………………………cheese.” The waiter says “Whats with the pause?”
      The bear replies “Whaddya mean, I’M A BEAR.”

      8 What do you call bears with no
      I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?”

      I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”
      What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
      Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
      A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.”
      The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”

      I saw a wino eating grapes.
      I told him, you gotta wait. (Mitch Hedberg)

      What’s brown and sticky?
      A stick.

      What does a pepper do when it’s angry?
      It gets jalapeŮo face!

      What’s a foot long and slippery?
      A slipper.

      Two gold fish are in a tank.
      One looks at the other and says, “You know how to drive this thing?!”

      Two soldiers are in a tank.
      One looks at the other and says, “BLUBLUBBLUBLUBBLUB.”

      As a scarecrow, people say I’m outstanding in my field.

      But hay, it’s in my jeans.

      A man is walking in the desert with his horse and his dog when the dog says, “I can’t do this. I need water.” The man says, “I didn’t know dogs could talk.”
      The horse says, “Me neither!”

      A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”
      The lawyer responds: “I charge £1,000 to answer three questions.”

      “Bloody hell – That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?”

      “Yes. What’s your third question?”

      What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
      They’re both red except for the green one.

      I have an EpiPen.
      My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.

      How did the hipster burn his mouth?
      He ate the pizza before it was cool.
      What’s the difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
      The taste.

      An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar.

      I know because they told me.

      I waited and stayed up all night and tried to figure out where the sun was.
      Then it dawned on me
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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