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    Thread: sunday 15th .

    1. #1
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      Mick's Avatar

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      sunday 15th .

      hi all ..just back from detecting ...found 8 Roman Bronze coins ,,and a lovely silver denarius..its in really good nick portrait of Julia Domna ,the wife of Septimus Severus ad 187-211..so its about 1800 years old .
      Lav yes Ill send you pics somehow
      ppqp ...hope you are ok
      Hiya Pauly you ok?

      I'm in my forties now, but I'm proud to say I haven't lost my looks.

      I always was a right ugly fcker.


      I dialled a number from prison today and said, "Hello. Could you ask the judge to change his verdict from guilty to not guilty?"

      The bloke on the line said, "And how am I supposed to do that?"

      I said, "It says here that if I phoned this number you can reverse the charges!!!"

      My son was on a School Trip to the House of Lords and brought me back a souvenir fridge magnet. It said..
      "You Don't Have To Be Lazy To Work Here, But It Helps"

      "Gemma Collins blames car crash on the full moon after reversing into a plant pot"

      I half agree with that: pot certainly had something to do with it.

      The Regular Customer

      The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s.

      "May I help you?" she asked.

      "I want to see Valerie," the man replied.

      "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam.

      "No. I must see Valerie," was the man's reply.

      Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one-hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.

      After an hour, the man calmly left.

      The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row--too expensive--and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

      The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.

      After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.

      The man replied, "South Carolina."

      "Really?" she said. "I have family in South Carolina."

      "I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."

      The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:
      1. Death.
      2. Taxes.
      3. Being screwed by a lawyer.

      A market researcher called at a house and his knock was answered by a young woman with three small children running around her. He asked her if she minded replying to his questions and she agreed.

      First he asked her if she knew his company, Cheeseborough-Ponds.

      When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if she used it, the answer was "Yes."

      Asked how she used it, she said, "To assist sexual intercourse."

      The interviewer was amazed. He said, "I always ask that question because everyone uses our product and they always say they use it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge; but I know that most use it for sexual intercourse. Since you've been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use it?"

      "Yes, we put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out."

      A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.

      He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"

      The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

      An Avon lady was alone in an elevator when suddenly she had to fart. She promptly reached into her bag and sprayed the air with her deodorizer. Two floors later, a gentleman got on the elevator.

      He began to sniff...

      The Avon lady asked, "Do you smell something"?

      "Well, yes I do", he replied.

      "What does it smell like"?

      The bemused gentleman answered, "I'm not sure, but it kinda smells like someone sh.t in a pine tree".

      A farmer went to the local bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Bill, who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing.

      The farmer complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow.

      Banker Bill suggested that he have a veterinarian take a look at the bull.

      Next week, Banker Bill returned to see if the vet had helped. The farmer looked very pleased. "The bull has serviced all of my cows! He broke through the fence, and bred all my neighbor's cows! He's been breeding just about everything in sight. He's like a machine"!

      "Wow," said Banker Bill, "what did the vet do to that bull"?

      "Just gave him some pills", replied the farmer.

      "What kind of pills" asked Banker Bill?

      "I don't know, but they kind of taste like peppermint".

      Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he realized that he desperately needed to go to the bathroom. So, Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be excused. Of course, the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to be quick.

      Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted.

      The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on his way.

      Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and says to the teacher, "I can't find it".

      Frustrated, the teacher asked Little Johnny, a boy who has been at the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.

      So, Little Johnny and Billy go together and five minutes later they both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks Little Johnny, "Well, did you find it"?

      Little Johnny is quick with his reply, "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards".
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    3. #2
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      Re: sunday 15th .

      Good evening Abbers,

      Just took my grandson home & had the thrill of following an obviously drunk driver almost the entire way
      Weaving all over the place, speeding upi & slowing down & never coming close to the posted speed limit. There’s no passing on these narrow country roads so you just get stuck with stuff like this. I educated my 10 yr old grandson on the dangers of drunk driving. Teach the young!!

      Mick, somehow or another I’ve avoided being screwed by a lawyer so far in my lifetime, haha!!!
      Sounds like you had a awesome detecting day, nice

      Hello to the rest of. The crowd. I have to go close up the chicken house, it’s almsot dark.
      Have a nice night everyone!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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      Re: sunday 15th .

      morning all,
      how's every little fing with everybody? Been pretty dang busy. Teaming up with another surveyor who has had troubles with help, we used to work together so it has been fun re-collaborating.

      plans here to turn the old farm house into a wedding venue, getting that underway, we'll see how that goes, some day I might retire...... then again I might be retired.

      Mick, very interesting find.
      Lav, new chicks this summer? we did not but next we'll have a need

      waves to everybody.
      Liberated 5/11/2013

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    7. #4
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      same old thinking leads to the
      same old drinking
       
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      Re: sunday 15th .

      Mae everybody,Mick good find on the coin Sam, turning the old farmhouse into a wedding venue sounds cool,that's all the rage now I see it alot on TV,Lav, maybe the driver was just an old man who shouldn't be driving anymore,happens alot waves to everyone and have a great BF Monday!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    9. #5
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      Re: sunday 15th .

      Lol how are we today then? Hope all is well at the moment doing the last bit of packing stroke unpacking stroke packing again but finally I think we are there lovely the outside, sun is really hot today both rabbits now gone to their holiday camp as well haha early start tomorrow morning we have to leave the house about 2: 45 in order to get there in time for the flight going through security take your clothes off put your clothes on take them off put them on routine. So it's last minute preparations come up and then that's us early night and even earlier morning hope you're all good take care by the way here's the coin I found yesterday

      20190916_060455.jpg

      20190916_060444.jpg
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    11. #6
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      Re: sunday 15th .

      Wishing you both safe travels Mick!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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      Re: sunday 15th .

      Greetings Abbers,

      Can’t believe how dark it is at 7:15 pm, Fall is coming! I hope decent weather comes along soon.

      Mick, wishing you safe travels & a very happy vacation
      Very interesting coin you found, keep it safe.

      Sam, nice to see you too!
      I got chicks the first week of March so I’m all set & don’t want any more than the 20 hens I have now.
      There’s a property for sale near by that is rumored to be a possible wedding venue. No one is real happy about it because of the location on a small but heavily used road. We’ll see what happens! Good luck with your survey job.

      Pauly, it was a drunk driver, no doubt in my mind

      Hello to the rest of the group & wishing everyone a nice night!
      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    15. #8
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      Re: sunday 15th .

      Hiya all from sunny tenerife....you have all seen this place before but here you go

      20190917_174122.jpg
      20190917_174049.jpg

      The weather is lovely..tired as we were up so early and rubber neck sleeping on the plane didn't help
      Hope everyone is ok.
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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      Re: sunday 15th .

      Hello all -

      Sorry to be away - but we really went AWAY... to see a dear friend in London, whose husband died recently. Left last Tuesday the 10th, then returned late on Sunday. I spent yesterday driving up to our old stomping grounds in NW Connecticut to retrieve the dog - it was the only dog sitter I could find that I trusted... it is hard to be traveling when we don't have experience with sitters down here in NY state.

      Mick, wherever you are, we were in your fair country... the weather was gorgeous! We did a little sight-seeing in between trips up to a northern suburb to see our friend. She is elderly and has a helper who was crucial during theses last years. It was nice to meet her helper.

      Back to an over full apartment, but I made good strides last week before we left, and just now got our books onto a bookcase, so that is much better than looking at boxes. Check out the maker "Origami" ... wonderful stuff that literally folds up into a tall narrow package. The two I bought can be a tower, or used horizontally - amazing. Each shelf holds 30 lbs... and so far so good!

      Wishing all well - PPQ, sending you strength and light. Glad you are homesafe Pauly, Lav good to hear of your family times, have a great time in Tenerife Mick, good luck holding all together Det, and your plans sound great Sam.

      More updates soon!

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      Re: sunday 15th .

      Greetings Abbers,

      Mick, thanks for the pic, glad you arrived safe & sound. Keep that head covered now in that gorgeous sunshine

      Cyn, wow, you do get around lady!!!!
      Sorry for your friend, so nice you went to see her though. I imagine your dog was happy to be near his old stomping grounds while you were away. I can’t even imagine what we would do if we had to downsize again. Getting rid of the last house was important, it had gotten way too big. We have more room than we need here but I would never try to stuff YB in an apartment. We would definitely need his & hers apartments, haha! He would drive me insane in close quarters. I have a feeling you will figure everything out just fine.

      Hello to Pauly, Det, Sam & everyone!
      Have a nice night!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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