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    Thread: Sun Oct 6th

    1. #1
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      Sun Oct 6th

      MAE ALL...

      Kicking off the new thread, gotta go get Pauly's post....

      Mae everybody,Mick I meant brother not brother in law, sometimes my phone guesses what I'll write next and I just click the box yep he sounds familiar in the can't sit still department,must be a family trait,Lav,the set up looked good don't think we'll make it to the art fest I wanted to go to,Romeo has croup and omg that cough is inhuman! I've never heard of anything like it so I don't wanna take him anywhere today,PQ,you're sounding much better sweetheart just continue to rest up and take care of yourself and take it easy,Cyn,busy busy Cyn come organize my house haha,I wonder how long it would last haha,not very long knowing me,I seem to thrive in clutter! Gonna make another bag of donations cuz I'm just over"stuff" much love to all and wishes for a great BF Sunday!....

      Pauly...hope you don't mind me reposting you here. My back was really sore yesterday and all kinds of thoughts went through my mind. I'm a little paranoid me thinks. Feels better today and I've got to remember I'm still recovering from broken ribs on top of everything else. I have a follow up appointment with the trauma team tomorrow including another chest xray so I'm not going to panic about anything. LOL

      Going to put the coffee on so will be back in a bit....PPQP
      Last edited by porqoui; October 6th, 2019 at 10:02 AM.

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    3. #2
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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      good afternoon all...wow this machine has a mind of its own ...the post I posted yesterday ...was initially the one from the day before that it wouldnt post ...so yesterday I posted one from my phone to explain how the previous days one had been lost .then the one I posted yesterday failed to post ,and the one from the previous day turned up .does that all make sense???It was supposed to hammer down today ,so decided that I wasnt going.my friend went ..he is detecting in a sweatshirt ..rain failed to appear.

      hiya ppqp ...thanks for the start up..how are you feeling? hope you are better..was gooing to say ..you watch those ribs laughing at my jokes ....aint a lot of chance of that!! seriously you take care.

      hiya Lav how are you doing? ok I hope ..got a load of seeds for next year ...all half price ...result.Im concentrating more on flowers ..I think ..thats the idea atm ....hows your crops doing?

      hiya pauly ....guess what ...my bougie is flowering!!!!!hows the dogs ? how many have you got now?


      hiya tree...hows life in the fast lane?were any of those sites any good to you re hiking?Im hoping to get out on Friday ...weather dependant!

      big shout to all..

      My Grandma suffered a terrible seizure this morning.... 40kg of heroin!

      You can't believe the crap that's going down in Hong Kong right now.

      Masked Police are running around beating the sh.t out of anyone who has...

      A mask on.

      Feminism means never having to say you're sorry. Whatever you did wrong, a man made you do it.

      News: McDonald's introduces plant-based burgers.

      Allowing vegetarians to finally participate in the worldwide obesity epidemic.

      I was wondering which phone was the best: The new iPhone 11 or the new Samsung Galaxy Note.

      Then it suddenly hit me:

      I'm 63 not f.cking 12.

      Forget the Whistleblower , the only way to get rid of Trump is a poison dart blower.
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    5. #3
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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      Greetings Abbers,

      Ha ha poison dart blower should do the trick Mick
      It was overcast all day with a few drops of rain, not much but it’s still cool, thank goodness. My lettuce is doing OK. I end up planting the two big flats that sit on the deck. I’ll get a picture when it grfows more.

      Pauly, sorry Romeo is sick, poor guy. That cough is horrendous & I would keep him home too.
      I have the Purple Heart organization scheduled to pick up donations on Friday so I’ll be filling bags all week. It’s good to clear out a few times/year.

      PQ, thanks for starting the thread this morning. I hope your xray comes out with good results. In the meantime, take it easy, OK?
      I made an easy cream of potato soup today using homemade cashew cream, no dairy & it was definitely good!

      Det, hope your trip is going well.

      Cyn, getting a few minutes of rest this weekend? I hope so.

      Have a nice night everyone!
      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    7. #4
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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      2 dayson the trot now ...I did a post on my phone and it hasnt posted....dont know why ...so Im just going to do a quick hello ..and reput the jokes down ....raining again ...

      I've never been musical.
      All through the 80s I thought The Eurythmics was a birth control method.

      Congratulations to Thomas Cook for setting a wonderful example to others
      on how to reduce carbon emissions.

      I'm trying to invent a car without wheels, but I'm getting nowhere.

      Daily Mail are reporting on how Grandparents are being pushed to breaking point looking after Grandkids that the parents are dropping off and then leaving there.

      I find this so irresponsible and it makes my blood boil.


      The lazy old sods should drive around and collect them!

      Shipwrecked On A Desert Island
      On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:

      - Two Italian men and one Italian woman

      - Two French men and one French woman

      - Two German men and one German woman

      - Two Greek men and one Greek woman

      - Two English men and one English woman

      - Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman

      - Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman

      - Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman

      - Two Irish men and one Irish woman

      - Two American men and one American woman


      One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:


      * One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

      * The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois.

      * The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.

      * The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.

      * The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.

      * The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.

      * The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions.

      * The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/liquor store/restaurant/laundry, and have gotten the woman pregnant in order to supply employees for their store.

      * The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having any fun.

      * The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a goddamn cell phone so they could call 911 and get rescued off this god-forsaken deserted island in the middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping...

      A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter.

      As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring the piano, too?"

      "Are you trying to be funny?" she replied.

      "No," he sighed forlornly. "I left the tickets on it."

      Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I give him my answer".


      Edna: "Well, I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7 PM., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me out for dinner... a marvelous dinner... lobster, champagne, dessert, and after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you",

      Dorothy, I enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times"!

      Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out with him"?

      Edna: "No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress".
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    9. #5
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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      MAE ALL...

      Mick...just like your posts the rain decided not to appear on Sunday. LOL Did your friend find anything interesting? Day be day things are improving for me and as long as I take it easy I'm ok. Got caught up on a few things at work this morning then headed out to my check up with the trauma team. They were happy with my xray as there was obvious improvement, and they tell me I'm doing everything right. Not going into work tomorrow as we're under a heavy snowfall warning tonight and I'm just not going to deal with it tomorrow. I will decide how much time I spend in the office and the boss is just fine with that. Hope you can get the posting sorted out.

      Lav...lettuce!, your growing season just keeps going doesn't it. Now you got me thinking of potato soup. Son and I went grocery shopping after check up so going to start a huge pot of homemade spaghetti.

      Hope everyone is having a good day....PPQP

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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      Greetings Abbers from the land of no sun, LOL
      At least it’s not grossly hot out.Looks like Wednesday is going to be a washout out so I’m alreday planning another pot of soup, yum

      Mick, I probably could be that American woman on the island, haha!!!
      Sorry your posts are not going where they’re supposed to go. The ground is still too hard here to dig in those three plants we bought a week ago. Maybe after Wednesday’s rain I can get them in the ground.

      PQ, that’s good news about your healing! Keep up the good work lady
      My baby lettuce is doing OK out on the deck, yay!

      Hello to the rest of the gang & wishing everyone a nice night!
      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      Mae all -

      Things getting "done and dusted" here... thanks for the well-wishes, the beat goes on!

      Mick, good news about your brother... here's hoping that the surgeries help him out of the pain... back at work already, wow. Sorry about the lost posts - thanks for re-posting the jokes!

      Lav, love to hear about the lettuce you are doing on the deck. It makes me glad that I don't have a deck or raised beds anymore... I used to feel so guilty that I didn't plant anything the last couple of years!

      PPQ - great job taking care of yourself!! Glad that the boys will help (a little?) with the grocery shopping. Keep on!!!

      Pauly, oh no, that's sounds terrible for Romeo... I hope he gets better soon... take care of yourself too!

      Re: porch/deck, I must say that we enjoy our little 6x8 covered deck-let SO much. We sit outside in the early mornings with coffee, and the dog can get all his scent-smelling done! I actually take some time to watch the changing leaves, and how gracefully they fall. Even that 10 minutes a day is a balancing help. I also put up a soft screen "door" so that the pup can go in and out as he pleases while I am inside working.

      Hello to Det and Sam and all else...

      Wishing all a day with light -

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    15. #8
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      same old thinking leads to the
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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      Mae everybody,Cyn falling leaves sound nice,don't get much of that here,PQ ooh spargetti sounds great tonight I'm taking all the frozen Chinese foods I have and making a Chinese night,fried rice, general tsao chicken,beef and broccoli and shrimp,I need easy cuz I have a small cold and just feel ick! Much love to all and wishes for great BF Tuesday!
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    17. #9
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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      hiya all how are we today the?good I hope ...well been out power washing the drive in the rain this morning ...thats after I sorted out what Bonnie did yesterday...I was powerwashing out the greenhouse yesterday....both rabbitsin the conservatory..Bonnie got bored ..and chewed thru the cable ...not all the way through but partiaslly uncoverd the wires ..no big deal ..until ..I ,in the rain went to switch it off..water ,2 partially bare wires ...and zap...I got a belt ..
      today Ive powerwashed the drive ,looks good .tomorrow back slabs .
      doing this on the computer today ...forget the silly phone .

      hiya tree hows you then? I like sitting in the conservatory first thing in the morning and watch the world go by ..fglad things are getting sorted out.

      hiya Pauly hows you then? hope you are feeling better.how did the Chinese night go?

      ppqp? went to work then the trauma team???????huh you related to my brother ?hope you are feeling better

      hiya Lav ...ground too hard ? wish ours was !!its as soft as mud ....oops it is mud!!Im starting to cut my plants back for next year,,,fuschias geraniums roses .

      a big hello to everyone else ..

      A man answers the 'phone and has the following conversation:

      "Yes, mother, I've had a hard day. Nancy has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is".

      "Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her".

      "You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All right".

      He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room, "Nancy, your mother wants to talk to you"!

      Cruise Ship

      DEAR DIARY. DAY ONE
      I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and makeup. I'm really excited.

      DEAR DIARY. DAY TWO
      We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.

      DEAR DIARY. DAY THREE
      I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honored and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and atte ntive gentleman.


      DEAR DIARY. DAY FOUR
      Went to the ship's casino ... did OK ... won about $80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.

      DEAR DIARY. DAY FIVE
      Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside . The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman. He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't come to his cabin for the night, he would sink the ship. I was appalled.

      DEAR DIARY. DAY SIX
      I saved 1600 lives today... Twice


      When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10 million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language. The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 mllion dollars is hidden.

      The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

      The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

      That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

      The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

      The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase,buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

      The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

      The attorney replies:"He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger"

      Embarrassing Medical Exams


      A man comes into the ER and yells, "My wife's going to have her
      baby in the cab!" I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, Lifted the
      lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed
      that there were several cabs ---and I was in the wrong one.

      Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco


      At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly
      and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I
      instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.

      Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA


      One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a Wife that
      her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than five
      minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he
      had died of a "massive internal fart."

      Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg


      During a patient's two week follow-up appointment with his
      cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble
      with one of his medications. "Which one?" I asked. "The patch, the Nurse
      told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I'm running out of
      places to put it!" I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped
      I wouldn't see. Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body! Now,
      the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

      submitted by Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA


      While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, "How
      long have you been bedridden?" After a look of complete confusion she
      answered.. Why, not for about twenty years - when my husband was alive."

      Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR


      I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while
      checking up on a woman I asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?"
      "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used
      to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the
      woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."

      Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI


      A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with
      purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of
      tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly
      determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled
      for immediate surgery.

      When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff
      noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it there was
      a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was
      completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing,
      which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."

      Submitted by RN no name


      AND FINALLY!!!................



      As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB, I was quite
      embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams To cover my
      embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
      The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst
      out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and
      sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No
      doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar
      Meyer Wiener".
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    19. #10
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      Re: Sun Oct 6th

      MAE ALL...I sure picked the right day to take off. Last night's snowfall warning was dropped only to have another one issued about 1/2 hour ago. LOL Received several "Skip the Dishes" gift cards so now all I have to figure out is what to order for supper.

      Lav...Wednesday should actually see all this snow disappear, seems our weather is at opposite odds right now. Have you got some more craft sales coming up?

      TG...it feels like things will never get "done and dusted" here! If you're craving another road trip come on up I could use the help. I can just picture you sitting on your porch/deck watching the leaves. Sounds divine.

      Pauly...the spaghetti turned out really good, well worth the effort. I'm really thinking of going Chinese tonight. LOL You get rid of the small cold asap and feel better.

      Mick...OMG...did Julie witness you getting zapped! And I thought ladders were your nemesis! I am wondering why you're power washing in the rain. LOL Be careful. You got to keep in mind that I had 4 days of sitting around before I went back to work and then I knew it was only for 4 hours. This little stint in the hospital has sure changed my priorities, me first. Feeling stronger every day, thanks.

      Det...if I'm not mistaken I haven't seen a post from you since the music fest. Hope everything is ok.

      Sam...I'm thinking you're getting Lav weather and not PQ weather right now.

      Time to enjoy Mick's jokes. Wishing everyone a great Tuesday....PPQP
      Last edited by porqoui; October 8th, 2019 at 02:27 PM.

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