24 November

[porqoui]

MAE ALL...Happy Thanksgiving to all who are celebrating.

Sam...good to see your post and I bet there'll be tunes tomorrow as well.

Pauly...hope you get over whatever it is soon.

Mick...good choice in staying put. I'm glad your were only delayed and not a part of the accident.

Things were pretty quiet at work so I took the afternoon off. I think I might even have a nap. Have a great day all....PPQP

[Lavande]

Turkey day greetings to all

It was a nice day but a bit TOO quiet, haha! I’m sure at least one of my kids will make an appearance next year.
The IP turkey breast was done perfectly in 30 minutes - can’t beat that! It has been super windy today, chilly but dry. The parades in Philly & NYC did OK despite the wind. One of my friend’s grandsons is part of a dance group that performed in the Philly parade.

PQ, I hope this winter weather goes by quickly. Maybe a new hobby will help keep you entertained until it warms up
Do you have an electric car? You mentioned plugging it in, just wondering.

Pauly, fall season stomach viruses don’t generally last more than a day or two. I hope you feel better soon!

Sam, ready for some snow??? We are supposed to get some Sunday, like it or not! I hope your Friday Thanksgiving is wonderful.

Cyn, how’s things going with you? Were you planning to cook today?

Det, time to check in!!

Have a nice night everyone!
Lav

[treegirl]

Mae all -
Happy turkey day... we have some friends up a couple,of hours away..(. not sure if I have mentioned them - they have just sold their house and I went up to pack... ) anyway , instead of being alone, I asked if they would be ok with us bringing up the celebration to them, and they said yes! So I cooked yesterday and this morning,,and we headed out at about 11 AM with the trimmings and cooked turkey in the cooler and the dog in the car as well. They had just enough cutlery and glasses for us all, and I brought the rest - even candles, as I remembered I had packed all their candlesticks. We had a wonderful time, and we were glad to celebrate their 18 years in that house.

Lav, glad to hear the chicken is coming around... just in time for serious winter! I'm sure you'll be busy with preparations for Saturday, good luck!

Mick, how did tea turn out? Fine dining? Hope the rabbits are coping with the rain... seems like you've had more than your share.

Pauly, so sorry that your tum acted up - not on Thanksgiving!!! Hope all turned out OK.

PPQ, keepers, what cold, so sorry. Glad that you have a way to handle the car. I used to live in a die-hard northern clime, and I remember using those car assists. Stay warm!

Sam, so good to hear what's going on - hope there is some music mixed in.

Hi to Det -

Cheers all - hope you all have a restful Friday...

[paulywogg]

Mae everybody,well stomach was better yesterday but still had to eat carefully which is I guess a good thing haha,I keep retracing my steps on what I ate and can't pinpoint anything, maybe it was just a slight virus like Lav mentioned,who knows,Cyn,glad you had a wonderful Thanksgiving it sounds really great I cooked,lounged around in sweats which sounds sad but was actually more relaxing than fixing my hair, putting on makeup and clothes, couldn't be arsed,was irritated cuz I had bought Lou a small ufo drone for Christmas all excited to give it to him Christmas morning and low and behold look what he showed up with yesterday! Same drone so now that won't be exciting for him, doggone Kell always gives them stuff early,PQ how's the snow?rained here nearly all day which was surprising cuz we ran to get Starbucks and it was clear as a bell in the morning then bam,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Fryday

[Mick]

mae all how are we today then? all good I hope ..Not tempting the gods ,but my shoulder is a heck of a lot better .Did youall have thanksgiving?all on turkey sandwiches curry now are we?It has been a really cold day today ..areal crispy one..one of those ones where I should be out walking...Isaw the deer in the fields tis morning ..there are 4 now as opposed to 3...not long now then off to the sun.
hiya pauly you good then ?So Lou got a drone eh...so you dossed about without make up and doing your hair?yup I know that one...have a good day.

hiya tee gee ...hows you then?good job you've got all your faculties about you and didnt get the turkey n dog mixed up..dog in the cooler and the toikey in the car..Yep mbh food turns out not too bad when Im cooking ..I can really professionalise beans n toast
The rabbits cope with the rain by chewing lumps out of anything in reach....they are happy out atm

hiya Lav ..you ok ?too quiet ???what?I think you will regret last statement ..they will soon be beating crap out of each other !!Ndext week is a busy one for me ..Monday physio ,Tuesday building society Wednesday driving course thurs /Fri new combi boiler and radiators fitted.and in my spare time

hiya ppqp ..hows you then?all good Is it still snowing?and yesI meant to ask about the car too

big hello to everyone else..

I carved a pair if clogs out of a lump of Oak and sent them to Meatloaf.
I got a nice letter back saying..
"Shoe out a tree ain't bad"

"Trump vows not to change the name of Thanksgiving"

Actually it was the White House press office that advised against him changing it to Donald Trump Day.

I was touched up by Buzz Lightyear. He asked to look at my woody

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead"??!!!

"Woah, what the hell happened to him"?

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window".

"What a horrible way to die"!

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones".

"What a way to go, that's terrible"!

"No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him".

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go"!

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him".

"Man, what a way to go"!

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him".

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that....".

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die"?

"I shot him"!

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for"?

"He was wrecking my house".

...Dirty Dancing was recently voted the best 'feelgood 'film of all time.

Rubbish,i get my wedding video out,start viewing it in reverse,she get's the ring back,she walks back down the chapel,out the door,into the hired wedding car and disappears from my view completely.

Soa - Senior Online Abbreviations
ATD - At The Doctor's

BFF - Best Friend Farted

BTW - Bring The Wheelchair

BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

CBM - Covered By Medicare

CUATSC - See You At The Senior Center

DWI - Driving While Incontinent

FWB - Friend With Beta Blockers

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

FYI - Found Your Insulin

GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!

GHA - Got Heartburn Again

HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement

IMHO - Is My Hearing-Aid On?

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

LOL - Living On Lipitor

LWO - Lawrence Welk's On

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas.

ROFL... CGU - Rolling On The Floor Laughing... And Can't Get Up

SGGP - Sorry, Gotta Go Poop

TTYL - Talk To You Louder

WAITT - Who Am I Talking To?

WTFA - Wet The Furniture Again

WTP - Where's The Prunes?

WWNO - Walker Wheels Need Oil

Two sweet, little girls were having lunch in a San Francisco Elementary School.

One turned to the other and said, "guess what, my Mommy is getting married again and I am so excited; I wll get a new Daddy"!!!

"Really", said the other girl. "Who is she marrying"?

"Chareles Henry, the famous Director".

The second girl smiled. "Oh, you'll really like him. He was my Daddy last year"!

A young man goes into a restaurant looking for a job.

As a test, the head chef gives him a two eggs and asks him separate the white's and yolk's.

Eager to impress, the young guy throws the 2 eggs in the air, they both hit the light fitting and break in 2, the yolks drop in one dish, the white's in another dish, he quickly opens the rubbish bin lid and catches the shells.

He say's proudly, " There do I get the job"?

The head chef replies, "No, you f#$k about too much

A Rich Young Man Meets Young, Beautiful Girl
...after drinks he took her to his lavish apartment where he soon discovered she was quite well groomed and apparently very intelligent.

Hoping to impress her, he began showing her his collection of expensive paintings, first editions of famous authors and offered her a glass of wine.

He asked her if she preferred port or sherry.

She said, "Oh, sherry by all means. To me it is the nectar of the gods, Just looking at it in a crystal-clear decanter fills me with a glorious sense of anticipation. When the cork is removed and the gorgeous liquid is poured into my glass, I inhale the enchanting aroma and I'm lifted on the wings of ecstasy. It seems as though I'm about to drink a magic potion and my whole body begins to glow. The music of a thousand softly playing violins fills my ears and I am transported with this elixir to the make believe world of magic".

"On the other hand, port makes me fart".

How To Turn A Man Down...


HE. " can I buy you a drink? "
SHE. " Actually I'd rather have the money "


HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours!!!


HE: Hi! Didn't we go on a date once? or was it twice?
SHE: Must've been once. I never make the same mistake twice!!!


HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must've been given your share!!!


HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!


HE: Your face must turn a few heads!
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs!!!


HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!


HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?


HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!


HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?


HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.


Man: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.


Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.


Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.


Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.


Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.


Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.


Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Where I'll be the rest of your life - in your wildest dreams.


latest London Bridge: Heroism of passers-by who stopped 'attacker' | UK News | Sky News

we know 2 at least dead ,,several injured and seriously,thinking of them and the families,,

and do you know what ?already there is criticism for cops shooting him.are these people real?

[porqoui]

MAE ALL...

Lav...electric car I can see why you thought that though. When the temp falls to -15C or below you are supposed to plug in your block heater. It's in the engine and keeps the oil from freezing. Apparently not a lot of people in the states even know about them. It's a shame nobody showed up for Thanksgiving as holidays are for being with family. I know the feeling, with all the rifts in my family the boys and I are usually alone, and I'm now ok with that.

TG...what a nice way to spend your Thanksgiving I bet your friends loved it. It was extremely cold this morning, -4F and staying there all day. At least it has quit snowing.

Pauly...glad you were at least able to enjoy some of your Thanksgiving meal. Cooking ok if you enjoy it, lounging around in sweats all day, priceless. Don't return the small ufo drone, by Christmas his will be broken. LOL Happy to report no snow for 2 days now, makes dealing with the cold easier. It sounds like you're going down to single digit temps!

Mick... Just watching the news of another shooting on the London Bridge, what is with people and what are they hoping to accomplish with their actions. Is it because everyone is so stressed out all the time? Glad to hear about the improvements to your shoulder. It does sound like you have a pretty busy week ahead of you. When do you head out on holidays? No electric car, see Lav's message. Happy to report no snow so didn't have to brush off the car, just scrape the ice covering all the windows! Donald Trump Day. LOL

Things are winding down at the community centre. We used to have every weekend booked with Christmas parties, this year we have 2. Wonder what that says about the boss. Home early again today, will take advantage of any time off I'm offered. Looking forward to hibernating this weekend. Have a Fantastic Friday all....PPQP

[paulywogg]

PQ, hahahaha! Kell said the same thing about the drone!

[Lavande]

Greetings Abbers,

Put the finishing touches on teh crafty stuff for tomorrow’s show. I think i’ll take December off, haha!
Turkey leftovers were good ~ again

Mick, sorry to hear about today’s events on London Bridge. There’s no shortage of unhinged people in this world sad to say.
I can’t make my kids agree to talk to each other again but I sure hope they will before one of us croaks. This has never felt right to me. I worked my a$$ off building a family for 40+ years to have my DIL tear it apart without a second thought.

PQ, I honestly never heard of a block heater. Sounds like a very useful tool, glad you have one
I gave up hope a long time ago of ever getting my brothers & their families here. They just don’t care about anyone but themselves. But my kids, that’s a different story. I’m holding on to hope with them.

Pauly, glad you turkey day went well.
I’ve had problems buying gifts for the boys only to find out their other grandmother bought the same thing. I got fed up with that & told my DIL I need to be kept in the loop. One of the boys was given a drone last Christmas & I heard he wrecked it almost immediately, haha. So hang on to yours for Louie.

Cyn, that was so nice of you to cook & share dinner like that. You are a good friend, for sure.
My injured chicken is moving around a bit better but she’s keeping herself inside her house. She has access to the yard but isn’t going out yet, smart girl.

Hello to Sam & Det!

Have a nice night everyone!
Lav

[paulywogg]

Mae everybody,Lav I'm surprised you never heard of a block heater,we had one when I was a kid growing up in the north,I always thought my dad was weird plugging the car in haha,hope the craft fair goes smooth and you sell alot PQ,how have you been feeling? Pain wise, breathing wise,etc? Mick you too how's the arm? Tired this morning even though I got a full night's sleep,weird, probably just sad and worn down cuz I hafta return to work wonder what's up with Det? More than likely just busy,busy! Hope he checks in soon,much love to all and have a great BF Saturday!

[Mick]

hiya all how are we today then? hope we are good ...it s freezing here today ...Well that ba,tard in London killed 2 ..have you read about it ...he was previously jailed for terrorist offences as an ipp basically given an indeterminate prison sentence ..that was overturned by some tosspot do gooder who knows nothing about the judicial system but thinks he does .It was reviewed and he was sentenced to 16 yrs which gave him an automatic release date at the 8year point..where he was released on a tag ..In fact he was wearing the tag when he murdered those 2 people,Some serious questions to be answered Also one of those who jumped in he was a convicted murderer on day release .

hiya Pauly ...arm is getting better ,but its going to take a lot longer than I thought.Trying to be clever doesnt work!hope today was ok for you...glad the injured chicken is doing better,

hiya ppqp ...how are you then?all good I hope ..fly out on the 23rd december ..no christmas trees or deccies for me .just the sunshine...get the boss to play Santa .....just sayin.....

Sir Chris Hoy has a sister, Yolanda.
Keen sailor apparently.

A blonde from Arkansas is going on her first overseas trip. She drives all the way into Little Rock to apply for a passport. In the passport office, the government official sees that she is visibly puzzled filling her passport application.

The passport official looks over her shoulder and sees the blonde trying to write 'twice a week' into the small space labeled 'SEX'.

The official explains: "No, no, no. That is not what we mean by this question. We are asking 'Male' or 'Female'".

"Doesn't matter", the blonde answers.

A baby was born who was so advanced, he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor.

“Are you my doctor” he asked?

“Yes, I am”, said the doctor.

The baby said, “Thank you for taking such good care of me during the birth”.

He looked at his mother and asked, “Are you my mother”?

“Yes, I am”, said the mother.

“Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born”, he said.

He then looked at his father and asked, “Are you my father”?

“Yes, I am”, his father answered.

The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his index finger. “Hurts doesn’t it”!?!

The bad and ugly king had a beautiful girl as a captive.

Though her beauty shone like a thousand moons, the dress she was forced to wear was very unbecoming.

She waited day and night, looking out the dungeon window, searching for the knight who would free her.

However, every knight was scared away by her dress which was very ugly.

She was crying in hopelessness when the evil king jeered,

"See, I told you no knight would rescue a damsel in dis dress"!

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'


This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.


I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said 'Tenpin?' I said, 'No, permanent.'


I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is.'


I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet. 'Best before End'


I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said 'Analogue.' I said 'No, just a watch.'


I went into a shop and I said, 'Can someone sell me a kettle.' The bloke said 'Kenwood' I said, 'Where is he then?'


My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bi-satchel.


I went to the doctor. I said to him 'I'm frightened of lapels.' He said, 'You've got cholera.'


I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.


I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.


I phoned the local ramblers club today, but the bloke who answered just went on and on.


The recruitment consultant asked me 'What do you think of voluntary work? I said 'I wouldn't do it if you paid me.'


I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. I said, 'You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana.' He said, 'No, this is for the custard.'


This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, 'I want you to trace someone for me.'


I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, 'Are you having me on?' I said, 'Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.'


I phoned the local builders today, I said to them 'Can I have a skip outside my house?' He said, 'I'm not stopping you!'


This cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says 'Audi!'


I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo' He said 'You're closest'


I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved again. He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. The police came and asked me what had happened.. I said 'I careered off the road'


I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there.


I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts.


I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.


I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays.'


I went to the local video shop and I said, 'Can I borrow Batman Forever?' He said, 'No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow'.


A waiter asks a man, 'May I take your order, sir?' 'Yes,' the man replies. 'I'm just wondering, exactly how do you prepare your chickens?' 'Nothing special, sir. We just tell them straight out that they're going to die'.




hiya Lav hows you then?so all the turkey has gone has it?As for the dil splitting the family ....ours wassplit and it wasnt long before my mum died that we made it all up .....Im glad we did .