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    Thread: Dec1

    1. #1
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      Mick's Avatar

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      Dec1

      afternoon all how are we today then?good I hope ..Really sunny out there but cold ...a proper winters day .Was going to go for a walk ..went up to do some of the wiring on the railway....3 hrs later ..oops!so its tidy up and just bimble about this aft .hope you are all doing well ..Ava has 6 years in today ..I know Pauly has "signed her card" in the general bit ..

      anyways take it easy and have a good un ..

      Just spent four hours waxing the car!

      Fck knows how it gets so hairy...

      It's a little known fact that Ernest Hemmingway was in the same class at school as cyclist Chris Froome's Great Grandfather.

      Apparently Hemmingway got the title for his best selling novel when his class mate fell asleep just before lunch break .

      The whole class rose to leave and the teacher noticed the dozing pupil still at his desk and shouted impatiently "Froome the bell tolls!"

      I have a secret addiction to chicken fajitas...that's why I keep it under wraps.

      Old Hollywood Squares
      If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and not as dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

      Q. Do female frogs croak?
      A. (Paul Lynde): If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

      Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
      A. (Charley Weaver): Three days of steady drinking should do it.

      Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
      A. (George Gobel): Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes

      Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
      A. (Don Knotts): That's what's been keeping me awake.

      Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
      A. (Rose Marie): No, wait until morning.

      Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
      A. (Charley Weaver): My sense of decency.

      Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
      A. (Vincent Price): No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

      Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
      A. (George Gobel): I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

      Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
      A. (Rose Marie): You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

      Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
      A. (Paul Lynde): Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

      Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
      A. (Charley Weaver): Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

      Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
      A. (Rose Marie): Ralph, the pin boy.

      Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
      A. (Paul Lynde): Tape measures.

      Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
      A. (Rose Marie): Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

      Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
      A. (Marty Allen): Only after lights out.

      Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
      A. (Paul Lynde): Make him bark?

      Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
      A. (Paul Lynde): Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

      Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
      A. (Charley Weaver): It got me out of the army.

      Q While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo! Poo!" What does this mean?
      A. (George Gobel): Cattle crossing.

      Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
      A. (Paul Lynde): Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

      Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
      A. (George Gobel): Get it in his mouth.

      Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
      A. (Paul Lynde): Who told you about my elephant?

      Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
      A. (Charley Weaver): I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

      Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
      A. (Charley Weaver): His feet.

      Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
      A. (Paul Lynde): Point and Laugh.

      Peter and Alfred Nussbaum were tailors and partners in the firm Nussbaum Brothers. After many years they decided to Anglicize their names and henceforth the firm should be known as the Nuss Brothers.

      After completing the legal paperwork, they informed the receptionist, Ethel, that from Monday on she should answer the phone as "Nuss Brothers."

      "I quit," said Ethel.

      "But why?", asked Peter, "the pay and benefits will be the same!"

      "Yeah? Well, YOU answer the phone then. I don't want to answer and find that the caller says he wants to speak with Mr. Nuss. Then I have to say..... "Yes Sir; which one? P-Nuss or A-Nuss?"

      Sam was out shopping in the mall when he meets his friend Abe outside the jewelers.

      Sam notices that Abe has a small gift-wrapped box in his hand.

      "So what have you just purchased Abe" Sam asks?

      "Well, now that you've asked," replies Abe, "it's my Sharon's birthday tomorrow and when I asked her this morning what she wanted for her birthday she said, 'Oh, I don't know, dear, just give me something with a lot of diamonds in it'".

      "So what did you get her" Sam asks?

      Abe replies, smiling, "I bought her a deck of cards".

      An 80-year-old woman was arrested for shoplifting.

      When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?"

      She replied: a can of peaches.

      The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

      She replied 6.

      The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail."

      Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

      The judge said," What is it? "

      The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

      Two old guys are pushing their carts around Wal*Mart when they collide.

      The first old guy says to the second guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

      The second old guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

      The first says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?"

      The second old guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?"

      The first old guy says, "Doesn't matter --- let's look for yours."

      In a train compartment, there are three men and a ravishing young girl. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic. Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1.00, I will show you my legs." The men, charmed by this young girl, all pull a buck out of their wallet.

      And then the girl pulls us her dress a bit to show her legs. Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10.00, I'll show you my thighs," and men being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill. The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her legs in full.

      Conversation continues, and the men, a bit excited, have all taken off
      their coats.

      Then the young girl says, "If you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."

      All three fork over the money. The girl then turns to the window and points outside at a building they're passing. "See there in the distance. That's the hospital where I had it done!"
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    3. #2
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      Re: Dec1

      Good evening kids & welcome to December already!

      We’ve had a chilly rain thing going on most of the day, may see some snow tomorrow.
      Hoping to be able to meet friends for lunch on Tuesday.

      Mick, glad you finally got to see the sun today!
      Loved the ‘Froome the bell tolls’, Lol
      I’m very happy for Ava, she’s been one strong girl these past 6 years!!

      Cyn, saw yesterday’s message & I hope you truly enjoyed a day off today
      Yep, time to get your NY tags & license now that you’re all moved in.

      Hello to PQ, Pauly, Det & Sam!

      I hope we all have a nice night!!

      Lav
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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    5. #3
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      Re: Dec1

      fashionably late greetings ABeroooos!

      oh my, missed Thanksgiving day here...what's the world coming to? Same busy starving artist as last time. had a great meeting with a gallery
      curator today and she likes my work so I'm getting pieces printed to display for January. On top of learning video editing and other new software that
      has a pretty hefty learning curve. But it's all good stuff for the brain...ack! thank goodness for coffee and no booze!

      Lav, so cool you're making some dough at the craft fairs. I'll likely be setting up at the larger ones here come spring.
      Tree, hope you got some rest, sounds like you've had a trying day. Doing anything fun?
      Pauly what's the good word?
      Mick, same here... cold but nice and sunny. I'ts so easy to get lost in engaging projects, I know the feeling.
      Anyone hear from SK lately?
      must watch another tutorial on Adobe Premier Pro now... so grateful for youtube instructional vid's. lifesavers really.

      ps.. just did a pretty quiet TG dinner with the 3 of us, then headed out to the shops for crazy holiday specials...yikes!
      never done that sort of thing before. Learning so much about holidays being with 2 gals.

      be well loves! catch you somewhat sooner next time....
      nosce te ipsum
      (Know Thyself)

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    7. #4
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      same old thinking leads to the
      same old drinking
       
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      Re: Dec1

      Mae everybody,Mick now Pavati has 6 years! Great to see success that's for sure,how's the arm/shoulder doing? Det, great to see you and congrats on all your successes and ventures feels like a Monday here,not to have a bad attitude but Monday really is a different feel,hi PQ,Cyn and Lav hope we all have a great BF day!
      Last edited by paulywogg; December 2nd, 2019 at 09:01 AM.
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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    9. #5
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      Re: Dec1

      Mae all -

      Well, I am having a lovely moment this morning, sitting in the lobby of our apartment building watching the snow fall outside of the tall windows, the fire in the glass-enclosed fireplace, sitting next to a 12-foot tree that someone else decorated, listening to a sweet piece of music on my earphones... how wonderful is that? ��

      Mick, sounds like you get lost in time with the joy of working on your RR... I love to hear that. How is the arm coming along?

      Lav, I had to look back at yesterday's post... did I really think that I was going to have a relaxing day? LOL. Worked all day long , from 9 AM to 10 PM doing a deep clean. Snow here yesterday (mixed with rain, yuk), more today, but warming is coming later this week -- how about you? So glad to hear things worked out on Saturday... you must be tired!

      Pauly, thanks for the good wishes for the week - how are you feeling these days?

      PPQ, are you having to use your block heater? Hope not - that is some cold weather so early this season. Are these storms affecting you?

      Det, so good to hear from you" good luck with all the new learning; you are definitely keeeping your brain active!

      So my big cleaning extravaganza was because I think that the mites are gone, but wanted to make sure all bedding, clothing, etc was clean. The bedroom rug was taken out for cleaning and will be back tomorrow, so I had to get at all the baseboards, etc. Needless to say, even with a small apartment cleaning all surfaces and dealing with bedding mattress, etc. it was an extravaganza. Finished up and dropped into bed. Cross fingers I am done with this!

      Wishing all a centered and well week...

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    11. #6
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      Re: Dec1

      Hi all how are you today then it is absolutely freezing over here it is Frosty it was Frost this morning and it is still not dispersed the place is crunchy and white I've just brought the rabbits in there been playing outside in the garden, I know I'm off to physio for my arm it seems a lot better though it's definitely not healed yet man due to be fair it is only just a week since it happened but me and my usual state, expected to be fixed yesterday patience is my strong point up to a point haha so I will speak to you later once I've been down my bone crunching session do take care especially in this icy weather older bones don't mind as quick as new ones
      af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


      CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    13. #7
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      Re: Dec1

      Good evening Abbers,

      Yep Mick, so true ~ the oldies definitely do not heal as quickly as the young ones. Slow & steady progress is a good thing.
      Cold here today, no sun & we never did get any snow, guess it went further north. Hope your PT session went well today

      Cyn, I find myself thinking about you several times a day & hoping you are rid of the mites. That would drive anybody right up the wall, I feel for you. We totally escaped this storm system, somehow. I know we’ll get hit eventually. I think I’d like to spend time in your lobby taking in the sights too, good for you!

      Pauly, did I ever tell you that Monday mornings are prime time for heart attacks & strokes? Especially for the business executives in high stress jobs. Be grateful you’re not one of them Hope your day was good!

      Det, wow, congrats on getting your photos on display - Nice!!!!
      See what can happened when we’re not pickling our brains anymore? Lol. But really, be proud of your accomplishments.
      Getting used to life with your 2 gals should keep you plenty busy!
      SK does pop up on my FB page once in a while. I really should send her a holiday message.

      Hello to Sam & PQ!!!

      Have a nice night everyone!
      Lav
      Last edited by Lavande; December 2nd, 2019 at 06:53 PM.
      AF since 03/26/09
      NF since 05/19/09
      Success comes one day at a time

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      Re: Dec1

      MAE ALL...

      Sorry I've been MIA lately but I've been dealing with some issues here at home. My son has been going through a depression/anxiety episode for the last 2 weeks and it has been exhausting for me. Usually I can escape to my sanctuary at work but that doesn't exist anymore. Finally got an appointment for my son with a psychiatrist last Friday. My doctor figures he might need to be on some medication. My doctor is also concerned about me and I am now seeing a Behavioral Psychologist. I will be working on some coping skills both for home and work among other things. Needless to say with the lack of sleep and stress I've been pretty bitchy at work. I got caught being very catty about my co-worker while talking to one of my instructors. She actually hid behind the door to hear what I was saying and then went running to the boss. Boss wants to talk to me tomorrow or Wednesday, can you say upset stomach. I can't take back what I said/did, I have already apologized to her and promised it would not happen again but my actions were inexcusable. I did not start drinking but boy was the pull there. I did however start smoking again. I will check in again tomorrow so you can all tell me it's not worth drinking over.....PQ

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    17. #9
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      Re: Dec1

      I'm so sorry PQ I hope your son feels better quickly and also hope there's not too much trouble at work,I've been there running my mouth before and got caught
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

      Off the table no MATTER what.

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      Re: Dec1

      Thanks Pauly...the concern with my son is Bipolar, which his father has. At least he's willing to seek some help. I feel bad about what I did to my co-worker but damn it I've tried to address it with the boss for 3 years now.

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