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Thread: Dec 8

  1. #21
    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    Hidy ho ABeroooos!

    oh my, baking cookies, sore arm, itching, rain, snow, insomnia, crazy rabbits....it must be...holidays!

    yes, super busy as a madman still, hoping things calm a bit and I'm sure they will, just trying to make a few pennies as 'tis the season for
    spending them so rapidly. Got some fashion boots for my partner...always had to shop for clothes online.

    Pauly, fellow insomniac here and i feel your pain. so true... booze just KILLS any hope i have of decent sleep. finally dozed about midnight to
    5:30 this morn which is ok in my books, at least compared to the previous night...ack!

    Vegas is indeed cold and sometimes rainy lately. I'm rather liking it of course but the populace looks like they are ready for a blizzard with the puff jackets. ha!

    been making every kind of bean hummus known to man...good fun. Need to find some gluten-free cookies that are actually good. Lav? secret cookie recipes?
    Tree, just read about your paleo baking book...sounds great. any suggestions?

    Sam, great to see you, froggy and all

    Mick, what insane weather... and the PC thing...grrrr... very tired of that myself so I just tend to not watch or listen to much mainstream media. it does help.

    PPQ hope you get more of that 'quiet time' !

    ok, heading off to a photo and video shoot which will include a twilight shot... love those. then tonight girly has her orchestra performance and is playing violin. going to be great!
    I'm even getting better at putting up with her whining. hahahahhaa! oh my.

    hugs and cookies all 'round.

    be well loves
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

  2. #22
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    A policeman grabbed me in the park today just as I was heading into the Ladies.

    'Where do you think you're going, pal?' he asked.

    I replied, 'I'll have you know I identify as someone who has every right to use this facility!'

    He looked me up and down and said, 'Is that so? Well what do you "identify" as, then?'

    I replied, 'A Peeping Tom.'

    The first 20 minutes of conversation at my mum's house is just killing time until it's socially acceptable to ask for the wifi password

    I live in fear that one day the real 'World's Greatest Dad' is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug

    I'm getting tired of hearing about the General Election. I don't give a flying fck who the next General is.

    Give your children a Christmas they'll never forget.

    Get them fck all.

    When little Johnny was in the fifth grade he looked downcast, so her teacher asked, "What's the problem, Johnny, I hope it's not homework again"?

    "Well, uh, yes it is", replied Johnny. "I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane".

    "Johnny, you're right that wasn't a very bright thing to do", said the teacher, "but this once I'll let you just unfold the paper and hand it in".

    "Oh, but that won't work", said Johnny, looking even sadder. "You see, the plane was hijacked".

    Computer Dependency Test

    Here's a quick test for you to take. This just proves that we
    have become too dependent on our computers.

    Q: Are you male or female?

    To find out the answer, look down...

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    V

    Look down, not scroll down, dummy!

    The lowly stable boy could only watch and dream about the beautiful girl who came to ride her horse every afternoon. It was a case of unrequited love.

    One day he was painting the empty stables and day-dreaming about his girl when he realised that he was painting the stall that her horse was kept in. The horse shied, coming into contact with the fresh paint and smearing it all over itself.

    "What will I do?" he wondered. "I know -I'll continue to paint the stall and horse too. When she arrives to ride, she'll wonder who painted her horse green. I'll say I did it accidentally. As her horse dries I'll suggest we might ride double on the horse in the next stall. She'll agree and we'll ride together to the little pond out by the waterfall. We'll admire the scenery for a while, then she'll say, 'I'd love to go swimming but I didn't bring my suit.'

    I'll tell her that no-one ever comes here at this time of day so we can safely swim in the nude. We'll skinny-dip for a while then lie close together on the grass. One thing will lead to another and we'll make mad, passionate love. That's what I'll do."

    It was almost time for the beautiful girl to arrive so he hid in the next stall, eager to carry out the next stage of his
    plan. The girl came to the stall, opened the door and exclaimed, "Who painted my horse green?"

    Excitedly, the boy lept from his hiding place and shouted, "I did! Let's bonk!"

    A horse walks up to the bar to get a drink and the bartender says 'what’s with the long face'?

    Why do bankruptcy lawyers expect to be paid?

    What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

    I'd kill for a Nobel Peace prize.

    Everybody repeat after me..."We are all individuals."

    Chastity is curable, if detected early.

    Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

    Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

    Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

    Two housewives were discussing their home lives over shopping. One said, "It seems like all Alfred and I do anymore is fight. I've been so
    upset over our last fight I've lost 20 pounds."

    "Why don't you just leave him then?" asked her friend.

    "Oh! Not yet." the first replied, "I'd like to lose at least another 10 pounds."

    As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends. The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

    As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who were eating lunch, but the earse was nowhere in sight.

    I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, stepped to the side of the open grave and saw that the vault lid was already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen," "Praise the Lord," and "Glory"! I preached, and I preached, like I'd never preached before, from Genesis all the way to Revelations.

    I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car. As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.!

    A porter loaded down with suitcases followed the couple to the airline check-in counter.

    As they approached the line, the husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife, "Why didn't you bring the piano, too?"

    "Are you trying to be funny?" she replied.

    "No," he sighed forlornly. "I left the tickets on it."
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  3. #23
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    Greetings folks!

    Yes, we did wake up to a light covering of snow this morning. It looked nice & the roads stayed clear so no problems.
    I have tons of mud in the chicken yard from the 1.5” of rain though, yuck.

    PQ, I am keeping my fingers crossed for a drama free holiday season. With my bipolar DIL you just never know what’s going to happen. She seems happier for the most part but I’m not totally convinced, yet.
    Hope you enjoyed your tacos

    Cyn, I was glued to the TV watching the articles of impeachment being handed down. Sadly I thing the Senate is going to squash the whole thing. Trump made a giant ass of himself last evening at one of his rallies in Hershey, PA. There’s plenty of gun toting wankers out there stupid enough to swallow all his sh*t
    Hope your work from home day went well today.

    Pauly, maybe the coming full moon is affecting your sleep like. It does with me. I caught a glimpse of a gigantic moon rising as I was closing up the chicken house this evening, oh boy.

    Sam, yep, just a covering of snow here, nothing that needed shoveling or plowing. I hope you feel 100% real soon.

    Mick, I wonder if there’s some sort of IQ test we can administer to our animals. Then we could really see who’s smarter - the chickens or the rabbits haha!!
    The temperature took a real dip here today, heading down to 21F tonight, Brrrrr!!!!

    Hello Det, hope you are well.

    Have a nice night one & all!
    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  4. #24
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    MAE ALL...nice to see the activity on the thread.

    TG....thanks for explaining the "organic" chicken. Yes, he was a good boy. Glad you were able to work from home again today.

    Pauly...I'm hoping he'll feel better too. He's got most of his "stuff" off the property but now has to haul some vehicles to Saskatchewan. Once that's done he's finished and we can all enjoy the holidays. I started taking sleep-eze during all that stress as I really needed to get some sleep. They helped. Hope you get your sleep sorted.

    Sam...I remember Froggy! LOL Glad you're on the mend. I had never heard of bipolar before I married my now ex. It does seem like it's more common than I thought. Hope you can get the plats done before any serious snow arrives.

    Mick...glad the wind has died down and that the shoulder is feeling better. I had a good day at work, boss didn't show up till 2pm and by then I was well into my card game. LOL Thanks for taking the time to post the jokes, I needed a laugh.

    Det...you are a busy man these days and you sound really good. Hope things calm down soon and you can enjoy the holidays. I always snickered at people when I'd go to Vegas for the NFR, them in their "puff" jackets. LOL

    Lav...I'll keep my fingers crossed for you as well. I used to get very nervous when the ex would get "happy" cause I knew what would come next. I always enjoy eating without having to cook it. LOL I woke up to a few flurries that were supposed to stop by 8am but they just got heavier and heavier, it was a white out at times. By the time I left work at 5pm it had stopped but man do we have a lot of snow. All of it on top of ice so watching some of those drivers out there was interesting.

    It's fettuccine with alfredo sauce tonight so must get at it. This is one dish I don't mind making. Wishing us all a restful sleep....PPQP

  5. #25
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    Mae everybody,Mick cute jokes PQ, fettuccine Alfredo sounds great,never make it but Kell does alot cuz it's one of the boy's faves and she makes it yummy! I understand what you are saying about the ex being nice cuz you know what came next, sounds like Kells boyfriend! He can't stay nice so when he is watch out cuz an argument is brewing,Lav could have been the moon,coulda been hormones who knows, Det that's about what I slept too,glad you're staying busy much love to all and wishes for a great BF Thursday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

  6. #26
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    Good afternoon all and how are we today then hope all is well with the mad squad 15:30 it is Pitch Black pouring down with rain and the back garden is flooded virtually it hasn't stopped raining all night and day. I was going to go out today but sacked that idea pretty quickly ok let's have afternoon tea haha
    Hiya lav how are you today ok I hope I've worked this morning today is the vote for the general election by tomorrow we will know if we still have the same clown and power or another one who knows we might end up with trump haha I was reading yesterday in one of the papers a member of parliaments somewhere has put forward a proposal that for a politician to tell lies it would be a criminal offence looks like the whole country would have to be turned into a prison looks like your man has been making a lunatic of himself again oh and by the way please keep the snow your part of the world thank you very much
    Hiya ppqp and how are you today hope all is well yes the shoulder is getting better glad you had a great day cards I mean work haha hope you have a great day
    Hiya pauly how are you today all good I hope fettuccine Alfredo sounds to me like some weird sort of frog anyway hope you're having a great day
    Hiya det long time no hear mate how are you doing sounds like you're pretty busy busy yep the PC thing is off this planet people used to have opinions but nowadays you can't see anything without upsetting someone they have taken this crap so far it is unbelievable political correctness means that people cannot voice their opinion ergo denying the right of freedom of speech and going against the Human Rights Act that everyone seems so fond of quoting so you got some fashion boots for your partner did you that's a good swap haha if you're looking for glutton
    Free cookies forget this house
    Hiya teegee you ok
    Great folks that's me off ski take care have a good one
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  7. #27
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    MAE ALL...

    Pauly...yep, only took me 14 years to figure out the pattern. LOL Hope you had a good day.

    Mick...another nice quiet day today, hope it continues till the Xmas break. So what did you end up doing if you didn't get outside? I'm sure you weren't sitting around. Boy with all that rain I hope temps don't drop and freeze it all.

    Lav...saying hi now as I'm sure you'll be popping on soon.

    Boss left early so I left shortly after he did. LOL Nice to get home in daylight for a change. Have a restful evening all....PPQP

  8. #28
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    Good evening Abbers,

    Yep PQ, I am here right after you!
    I guess there’s not much chance of having a snow melt up there so be careful. I don’t mind snow, it’s the ice that scares me walking, driving, ugh! Glad work is staying sane for you this week, & hope it continues.

    Mick, you are starting to sound waterlogged, oh boy.
    I absolutely love the idea of jailing lying politicians, haha!! Between the both of us I think we could fill up a prison pretty quickly.
    Trump is out of his !@#$%^ mind this week, he’s off the rails. I am sick of listening to his sh*t & wish he would disappear. Your clown is almost as bad.

    Pauly, I have no idea why but this particular full moon did not bother me the way it usually does. Guess I just got a break. Hope your sleep resumes soon for you, I know it’s tough going without!

    Det, I don’y how how I missed your post yesterday but I’m glad to see you are doing OK in a crazy busy sort of way, Lol

    Cyn, I hope everything is going well with you!

    Have a few more things to wrap so I’ll get to it before I sit.
    Have a nice evening all!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  9. #29
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    Mae everybody,PQ whatever happened with the situation with the co-worker? I remember your boss was supposed to say something to you but maybe I missed it,Lav,I hope your DIL isn't a pain during Christmas Mick,yep you're definitely waterlogged over there! Feel tired this morning even though I slept ok,I used to be such a morning person now I'm just irritable until 9 maybe haha,Cyn,how's things going? Much love to all and wishes for a great BF Fryday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

  10. #30
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: Dec 8

    afternoon all ..well as you will have seen we have our own clown now..very much in the same vein as yours ..He was sacked twice previously for lying ..Imagine him and trump on a fishing exhibition..oh boy..and now we have Scotland jumping up and down wanting independence.Its pouring down with rain here at the moment ,
    ok brew time..

    hiya pauly ..yep yuouve seen the weather here today..you know when you said I sounded like one of your customers?good job I aint one ..youd be broke!have a good day

    hiya Lav ..no it wouldnt take long to fill a nick up with politicians they were even lying this morning!Lets see how our man fares against yours!

    hiya ppqp...how are you then?ok I hope ..yep you are right..was working on the railway yesterday

    20191213_150712.jpg

    riding stables in progress ,path and avenue of trees ,wall and barbed wire

    20191213_150732.jpg

    all the new looking brown is papier mache with a dye added ..cliff faces done and canal banking ..needs to dry.

    20191213_150841.jpg

    car head and tail lights wired up to show off crossing and pedestrians

    good one ..boss leaves ..I go .

    hiya teegee..all good ?

    I've just prepared Jeremy Corbyn's speech for tomorrow ...

    "Would you like fries with that?"

    UNABLE to get to the polling station today? Simply find someone who intends to vote the other way, and tie them up in your basement until 10pm, thus cancelling out your missed vote.

    Dianne Abbot has counted the votes and says Labour have won.

    If you listen carefully, you can almost hear the simultaneous clicking sound of thousands of people getting rid of their Labour profile photo frame on Facebook.

    The bimbo prime minister of Finland, Sanna Marin was holding the daily newspaper upside down and trying to read it.

    "Why did you turn the newspaper like that, isn't it really difficult to read?", her friend asked.

    "I didn't turn it", Sanna Marin replied. "It was like this when I bought it".

    Tesco have started stocking the new range of turkeys from Corbyn Farms in time for Christmas.

    They come already stuffed.

    I think I've sussed out the Tories' master plan.

    Win this election, then shut down all the primary schools so there will be no polling stations left to host future ballots.

    To all the detractors who said Corbyn would never get a bunch of troublesome untrustworthy halfwits into government. Boris couldn't have done it without him.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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