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Thread: Jan26

  1. #21
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    4th July, 2012.
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    Re: Jan26

    hi all how are we today then? all well I hope?No snow now it has all melted...and been replaced by rain.Busy day again..ther was a mark on the wall in the hallway...the hall stairsand landing are all the same colour.Cut a little piece of the paper out ,and took it to the shop...got an exact match on the paint...they analyse the paper,and then mix the paint to match..Ive patch painted it and hopefully will be ok Jeeves not himself again ,need to watch him.

    hiya Lav..yep we are getting a bit of rubbish weather at the moment..Have you ever kept or thought of keeping turkeys?Im sure your grandsons will work it out.

    hi ppqp...how are you today then?good hopefully.Yep need to stay away from locos they are driving me loco!!I saw a cam yesterday ,Rattlesnake road..I had forgotten how long it was .Suffield down to Ralston and beyond.that was some tea you got

    hiya Pauly ...you well?..any luck finding new work yet?

    hiya det ...how are you doing mate?any luck...go for it speilberg

    hi tee gee ...how are you doing?Arm is a lot better ..not perfect but heck of a lot better...thanks.You ever get to York...(or Jorvik..that was its Viking name ..in Roman times Eboracum)let me know Ill meet you ..its an hour drive away from me thats all.

    right peeps will get this posted...

    Two Irish brothers Mick and Paddy have made a promise to their uncle. They had an Uncle Seamus who was a seafaring gent all his life and before he passed away, he made the boys promise to bury him at sea.

    Of course he did pass away and the "boys" remembered to keep their promise.

    So off they set with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowing boat. After a while Mick says, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out, Paddy"?

    Without a word Paddy slips over the side only to be standing in water up to his knees. "Dis'll never do Mick, let's row some more".

    After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is only up to his belly, so on they row.

    Again Mick asks Paddy, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy"? Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No dis'll neva do". The water was only up to his chest.

    So on they row and row and row when finally Paddy slips over the side and disappears!

    Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting himself into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for breath.

    "Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy"?

    "Aye it tis! Can yer hand me da shovel".

    Funny Motor Insurance Claims

    The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind. (Thanks Sharon Burrows)

    I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

    I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

    Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident
    A: Travelled by bus

    The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were -
    Q: What warning was given by you
    A: Horn.
    Q: What warning was given by the other party
    A: Moo.

    I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.

    On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.

    I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

    I didnt think the speed limit applied after midnight

    I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

    Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature
    A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.

    First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.

    Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

    The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again

    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way

    A truck backed through my windshield into my wifes face

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car

    In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

    I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I dont have.

    I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

    The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

    I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.

    To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

    My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

    I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

    The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

    I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

    The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.

    The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

    I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.

    I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

    When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

    The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.

    No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.

    I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

    The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

    I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

    The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

    There was a little boy who loved to dress up like a cowboy and pretend that he was one. His mother gave him some money one day to go to the local soda fountain and buy a sundae.

    As the little boy ordered the sundae, the waitress asked him, "Do you want one scoop or two"?

    The little boy said, "Two, please".

    Then the waitress asked, "Do you you want chocolate sauce"?

    The little boy replied, "Yes, please".

    Then the waitress asked the little boy, "Do you want your nuts crushed"?

    The little boy pulled his toy gun out, pointed it at the waitress and said, "Do you want your tits shot off"?

    hiya all...I did this post yesterday...checked this morning and it hadnt posted...not sure if operator error or the machine.On the balance of probabilities,and knowing my expertise and capabilities with all things technical I would suggest it was direct interference with forces external.....not
    Tee gee ...never ever got the 3 to 5 issue..but yes prior to tea time at about 5-7 pm was my time..simply change your habits ..it works well...and having a cup of tea ...yeeeeah ..not cawfee joe java but tea!!
    Jeeves was medicated last night,I went out to see him..he had perked up and was taking food ...I think as in yoomans, he is just a rabbit with a dodgy tummy.!Its 7am pretty cold ,dark and raining ..but apart from that ..sound.takecare all
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  2. #22
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: Jan26

    update...it never posted because originally it was14036 words long...had to cut out a lot of jokes.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  3. #23
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: Jan26

    Mae everybody, Mick I haven't even been looking for a place to work right now, I need to work on this iron thing so I actually have the energy to do more, I remember when I was gonna take that other one wondering how I was gonna do without a midday nap, figured just coffee but now I know I'm sleepy from a real issue so when that's sorted I'll look, Lav, me and Kell both got IP's for Christmas, so far I'd only taken mine out of the box but that one day Kell was trying to make soup in hers and tossed the ingredients and water in the IP without the liner? Reading on Google she realized her mistake and it needed to dry out for a few days so I told her to use mine and I haven't seen it since haha, Cyn I laughed when hubs asked if you boiled the turkey sick stomach house here which started with Lou, yesterday I came home and Brady was sick, then I couldn't stay off the toilet thorought the night, grrr, do not need this anyhoo much love to all and wishes for a great BF Thursday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"

    Off the table no MATTER what.

  4. #24
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    Re: Jan26

    Mae all -

    Lav and PPQ... I'm afraid that since we are having spring now, the real spring will be dreadful! I would prefer to have winter, then a nice warm spring. Of course, no one checked that with me.

    Pauly, poor girl, hope you feel better soon - in all ways!

    Mick, thanks for the York meetup invite! Who knows? How is Brexit going over now that it is happening? Any changes? I know that my diabetic friend in England is worried about the availability of insulin, etc. hope all turns out OK. Our country seems to be in a mess... now the republicans think it is OK to give the president power to do whatever works for him, carte Blanche. Wow, we could have saved ourselves quite a fight 200+ years ago...

    Wishing all a good day and sun inside and out -

  5. #25
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: Jan26

    And good afternoon all how are we today then? Hope all is well. Jeeves seems a lot better taken I'm sure he is at it just trying to bluff his case. Op went to pick up one of my engines this morning from the model shop, it had been in for repair I saw it working in the shop got home tried it on my track doesn't play anymore. A pity it was a favourite engine of mine so it will be on its way to eBay now. Luckily enough I had another one that I have bought and arrived today. I also bought four second-hand coaches at the model shop and I've just finished putting lights and people in the carriages
    Hi pauly how are you today ? Isn't that strange your kids borrow things and strangely and off they never seem to reappear again it's called a temporary permanent loan. Hope you're feeling better today and not stuck on the toilet all day take care look after yourself

    Hello tree girl how are you today? Hope all is well in your land. It's the same over here it looks like spring has sprung, however it still reverts back to winter now and again. I don't think your friend or in your car as much worries with regards to insulin come on I don't think it's going to be as bad as everyone thinks it will be . One the scary things that springs to mind , is the fact that is soon as we come out of Europe trump wants to set up trade deals with us this is the same guy that is making his mouth go because Prince Andrew won't talk to the FBI, and by the same token he will not not Grant the extradition order for that lady that was involved in the killing of Harry Dunn, not that I condone either party just seems to me me when things don't go his way tends to throw the toys out the pram a little. I haven't heard anyone panicking over the brexit exit yet either financial or commercial wise we shall just need to wait and see. Yes with regards to the War of Independence it now seems very questionable , 250 years has just given a political reversal that is all all full stop apart from that have a great day

    Hello ppqp how are you today? Hope all is well is today a day for the card School? Go for it

    Hiya lav
    How are you today then question mark hope all is well so you roasted a turkeys legs did you? But it was very impressed haha anyway on that sad and stupid note hope you have a nice day
    Right folks that's me away take it easy and have a good one
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  6. #26
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: Jan26

    hiya all how are we then?hope all well ..had some real difficulties getting on here the last few days,to the extent I amongst others thought the site had gone ..so for anyone in the know out there...can you confirm his isnt the case?

    well ,managed to get Jeeves back home today,he is on 3 lots of meds 3 times a day,but certainly has perked up again big time ..the vet doesnt know why or how ,but it was the start of gut stasis again ...a killer for rabbits..he has a supersensitive gut ...but his idea of food is similar to mine was with booze..not pleasantly enjoyed ,but its there so its got to not be there ,so today was run around like a lunatic day.didnt get up to Amys so we are going up next weekend.Hope we are all well

    Just watched the removal of the British flag in the European Council building in Brussels.

    They wanted to burn it outside but...

    The flag is nonflammable due to EU regulation.

    Today the EU reported over 90% drop in binge drinking and the use of class A drugs ...

    As Scotland left the block.

    how much space will brexit free up in the european union

    1GB

    The Brexit Horse walks in to a bar

    Barman asks, "Why the long farce?"

    i've just drilled a 20mm hole in my fridge door so I can check if the light does go off when I shut it.

    guess what, It does, and I can relax knowing I’m not wasting energy...

    I just wish I'd listened to those so called 'Remainer' scaremongers now.

    It's only just turned a minute past 11 o'clock on Brexit day and we've already run out of f*cking milk in our household.

    Having initially thought they'd contained the Coronavirus in Liverpool, experts are baffled by the sudden sharp rise of people trying to get the week off work with it in Merseyside...

    "Police searching for convicted criminal who may be in Nottinghamshire"

    The Sheriff said he is believed to be hiding out in Sherwood Forest with a monk, a giant, and a nubile young woman.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

  7. #27
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Jan26

    We’re back up & running

    Check in everyone
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  8. #28
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    Re: Jan26

    Hey there - yes that was strange... my. computer kept giving me a "server" error, but all other websites were opening, so I had to think it was MWO...

    Are they still asking for money? I never did do that, when I came back to the site after a summer off, and they seemed to be OK. If they need it for some stability, maybe a call should go out again - I would definitely participate!

    Tired after working with a client... just enough energy to say hello and wish all well --- cheers -

  9. #29
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Jan26

    Glad to see some regulars checking in again

    Mick, keeping my fingers crossed for a quick recovery for Jeeves. He really keeps you on your toes, haha!!

    Cyn, I signed up several years ago to make a yearly donation via Paypal. I just saw Zach mentioned that it was a major phishing attack that caused the problems but everything is OK now.
    Hope you have a restful night.

    Hello to PQ, Det, Pauly & Sam & anyone else dropping by for a visit.

    Have a good night all!
    Lav
    Last edited by Lavande; February 1st, 2020 at 06:18 PM.
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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