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Thread: June 7th

  1. #1
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    June 7th

    howzwee today yall ..hope allus doin good .raining here this morning ..I need to get some weed fabric to lay down ...Ive got a ton of stone coming tomorrow ..not a lot hapning today ...didnt sleep too great last night ..so no doubt Ill be nodding off sometime today..not many plants left in the greenhouse ...most of them are in now

    hiya pauly ...got to echo Lav ..get out of deadeye gulch before it all goes wrong ...Scissors comb ,clippers I can accept ...Smith ad Wesson doesnt convince me for styling ...hope your weekend is going ok?

    hiya Lav ...I think the rest of them that arent laying are probably eggshausted...Ive had ONE strawberry off my plants ..I think its down to the foreign rain..amishamed to say..hope all is nice in your sunny day today

    hiya ppqp ...hows you then?good I hope ...no cards on the go?

    hiya det pie sam....

    teegee thinking of you

    If the shoe fits,

    You probably didn't buy it online.

    The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened.

    When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news.

    "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"

    "Honestly?"

    The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, heck, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"

    A woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond rings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex."

    "But you are not wearing any of those things," he replied.

    "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."

    A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to, "Where do pets come from?"

    Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me everyday. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me."

    And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for you, so that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will accept you as you are and will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."

    And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already named all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this new animal."

    And God said, "No problem! Because I have created this new animal to be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my own name, and you will call him DOG."

    And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.

    After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and preens like a peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."

    And the Lord said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always worthy of adoration."

    And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.

    And Cat would not obey Adam.

    And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not the supreme being. And Adam learned humility.

    And God was pleased. And Adam was greatly improved. And Dog was happy.

    And the cat didn't give a shit one way or the other.


    Two young nuns having just been ordained were on a holiday in New York City and were standing in front of the gorilla cage at the Bronx Zoo.

    The gorilla took one look at this beautiful young nun, bent the bars, leapt to the ground and pumped her like crazy. Then he
    went back into his cage, straightened the bars and resumed thumping on his massive chest.

    The young nun got up off the ground, straightened and dusted her clothes, turned to her companion and said,"We shall never talk about this, agreed"? The other young nun consented.

    Twenty five years later the two nuns, who had stayed close friend, were out having coffee, when all of the sudden, the second nun asked her friend", I know I agreed never to talk about the event at the zoo but I have one question".

    The other nun stared and said,"O.K., one question"!

    The other nun stammered, then asked, "Did it hurt"?

    "Did it hurt? Oh yes it hurt! He never called..., he never phoned..., he never sent flowers..."!

    One day, Gramma sent her grandson Little Johnny down to the water hole to get some water for cooking dinner. As he was dipping the bucket in, he saw two big eyes looking back at him. He dropped the bucket and hightailed it for Gramma's kitchen.

    "Well now, where's my bucket and where's my water?" Gramma asked him.

    "I can't get any water from that water hole, Gramma" exclaimed Little Johnny. "There's a BIG ol' alligator down there!"

    "Now don't you mind that ol' alligator, Johnny. He's been there for a few years now, and he's never hurt no one. Why, he's probably as scared of you as you are of him!"

    "Well, Gramma," replied Little Johnny, "if he's as scared of me as I am of him, then that water ain't fit to drink!"

    1. Create a new file.

    2. Name it "Donald Trump"?

    3. Send it to the recycle bin.

    4. Empty the recycle bin.

    5. Your PC will ask you, "Do you really want to get rid of " Donald Trump"?

    6. Firmly Click "Yes."

    7. Feel better.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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  3. #2
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    Mae everybody, Mick I like that Dog story, I wish they could live forever tho, how's your brother? I doubt gun totin lady will be there much longer anyways at the shop, the owner don't put up with crap from anyone, I do worry cuz he's older and wonder how long this will last, went to our fave Mexican place last night, they had every other table or booth blocked off, I've been trying to tip extra cuz of their not being to full capacity and just cuz I'm very grateful to be out! I ain't gonna lie they gave us anniversary shots and a cinnamon desert, I took the cinnamon desert but defo skipped the shot! Waves to the gang and wishes for a great BF Sunday for us all
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    Good evening friends,

    Very nice day here, no complaints
    No visit from daughter & granddaughter yet but they’ll get here soon.
    I’ve been working on a sourdough starter for the past 12 days & I think I may have enough to start baking bread in another day or so. Love sourdough bread, the best I’ve ever had was in SanFrancisco. I’ll try to come close, Lol

    Mick, of course the cat didn’t give a shit, haha!! Good story!
    Sorry about all the rain I’ve sent over but I was getting truly sick & tired of it, haha! Sometime this week the concrete guys are coming to pour the blocks for the new sidewalk out front. Hope they don’t get rained out, oh boy. I have extra strawberries if you need some!!

    Pauly, glad you got a chance to go out for dinner. I doubt we’ll even bother on our anniversary on the 30th, Lol
    Tell you what, if that chick shows up at work again displaying a gun I’d make a quiet call to the police so they can check on her license to open carry like that!

    Hello to Pie, PQ, Det & Sam! Hugs to you Cyn

    Guess I’ll go pull a few weeds or something, hate feeling useless.
    Have a nice night all!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  6. #4
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    MAE ALL...

    Sorry for not posting sooner, basically nothing going on here. It's been pouring with rain all weekend and since I decided not to do any "work" this weekend I've been binge watching "24". I forgot how much action, twists and turns there are in an episode and how they hook you into watching the next one. Back to my new normal routine tomorrow, need to get my re-launch procedure done.

    Have a good night all....PPQP

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    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    Mae everybody, PQ, glad you had a weekend to just do nothing Lav, oh she's licensed to carry trust me she shows the card to everyone passing by, I'd love all those strawberries, I'll bet your grandkids gobble them up, Rome was licking the side of a banana yesterday but when I peeled it he got grossed out haha! He's such a picky eater, guess he'd have rather had the peel, waves to the gang and wishes for a great BF Monday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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  10. #6
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    afternoon all how are we today then?goodly I hope ...well we are having our fair share of trouble over here..that cop did no favours to anyone ..every life matters ..these silly fckers over here stand in massive protests..yes it was wrong ,people have the right to protest against it peacefully ...note that word!then they pulled a statue of a slave trader down in Bristol ..which actually did the council a favour ..they wanted to remove it without offending anyone ...and then to start disfiguring the cenotaph war memorial ..a memorial to those who gave their lives so that these arseholes can do what they did...Id clean it off with their faces!This world gets more and more screwed up every day .
    An overcast day here but warm ...Im waiting for a delivery of stone ,bet its last drop !

    hiya pauly ...you ok ?Im licensed to carry too....shopping !did you ever hear the story of you could get high on banana skins?

    https://www.myrecipes.com/extracrisp...-in-bananadine


    hiya ppqp...hows you then?Ive been binge watching too ..we started with Hornblower ..did that series in and now on to the old series of Pride and Prejudice..you still got the border closed to the yoosofay?we could do with some of that here We have a strategy here ..its called wingit...take care .

    hiya Lav ...hows you ?all good ? yes Ill have the spare strawberries ...as soon as I saw you had written San Fran ..2 things popped into my head..Karl Malden ...and the Flower pot men singing !Glad you said pull a few weeds as opposed to smoke them!

    hows the rest ov the gang ..you ok? take it easy ....

    British Citizen Test

    Question 5

    You are out one Sunday afternoon with some friends (or looters). You see a statue that offends you.

    Do you ...

    A) Tweet a photo of it from a stolen iPhone.

    B) Pull it down and smash it.

    C) Return home quietly and pen a strongly worded letter over a nice cup of tea.

    Lefties 10 days ago: Boris is forcing us back to work so the rich get richer. It isn't safe, COVID-19 is a killer!!
    Lefties this weekend: Of course I can go and protest without social distancing, COVID-19 doesn't spread that easily.

    Anti racism protests in Peterborough have led to buildings being burned to the ground, widespread graffiti and numerous shop windows being smashed.
    “We cannot condone this kind of behaviour”, said the council is a statement, “however, we do appreciate the improved look of the town centre”.

    I got one of those home bowel screening test kits yesterday. The instructions tell you not to poo into the toilet bowl, but use a plastic container, like a margarine tub.

    Long story short, my toast tasted fcking disgusting this morning.

    For a few years now I have thought about improving my work/life balance.

    ..It would mean getting a job though.

    Hong Kong police are spraying protesters with blue-dye water cannons to mark protesters.

    Then sending out smurf snatch squads to arrest them later.

    There is a new study out about women and how they feel about their asses!

    I thought the results were pretty interesting:


    85% of women think their ass is too fat...


    10% of women think their ass is too skinny...


    The other 5% say that they don't care, they love him, he's a good man and they would have married him anyway.


    Van Gogh's Family Tree


    A sister who loved disco Go Gogh
    His twin with low back pain Lum Bay Gogh
    A brother who worked at a convenience store Stop 'n Gogh
    The cousin from Illinois Chica Gogh
    His Mexican cousin Amee Gogh
    The Mexican cousin's American half-brother Gring Gogh
    The fruit loving cousin Man Gogh
    His dizzy aunt Verti Gogh
    The ballroom dancing aunt Tang Gogh
    An aunt who taught positive thinking Way-to Gogh
    His magician uncle Where-diddy Gogh
    The constipated uncle Cant Gogh
    The bird lover uncle Flamin Gogh
    His nephew psychoanalyst E Gogh
    The nephew who drove a stage coach Wells-far Gogh
    The little bouncy niece Poe Gogh
    His niece who travels in a van Winnie Bay Gogh
    His granddmother who ate prunes Gotta Gogh
    The grandfather from Yugoslavia U Gogh




    And there Ya Gogh!

    Dave met Stacey in a nightclub. They enjoyed each other's company very much and at the end of the evening Stacey invited Dave to her place, where they quickly got involved in a very passionate and energetic session in bed together.

    Finally, tired and satisfied, they both lay back in the bed and snuggled up close to each other. After a short while, Stacey began tenderly stroking Dave's manhood.

    Surprised but appreciative, Dave comments, "Surely you can't be ready for more already"?

    Stacey replies, "No, but every now and then I get a bit nostalgic, and miss the days when I had mine".

    Adventures in Punctuation
    Dear John:
    I want a man who knows what love is all about.
    You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not
    like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have
    ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no
    feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever
    happy--will you let me be yours?
    Jane

    Dear John:
    I want a man who knows what love is. All about
    you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like
    you. Admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined
    me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings
    whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy.
    Will you let me be?
    Yours,
    Jane
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    A hoy hoy cats n kitties my Aberoooos!!

    grateful for a weekend of being wimpy and laying low in air conditioned comfort for the most part. After another week of sickening heat I was just roasted, sun burned eyballs and all.
    so far it's looking a bit cooler and the weekend dropped below the 100 mark so another yay for me.

    Mick, industrious as always. crap sleep here too as usual.

    PPQ, nice that you have rain! relaunching personal biz?

    Pauly, good to hear you're hanging in despite picky eaters. we have one of those too but she's getting better. Sat night was I think the first night
    I cooked a perfect filet and she did 'not' put ketchup on it. a big win!

    Lav, sourdough is my fav. that and buckwheat are the only breads I do buy. Got a lovely sourdough round from the farmers market just Sat and it's grand.
    Also got some Russian kale, and pink lemons...how cool.

    thankfully this work week is much more mellow. a relief for sure. got a couple huge houses to shoot today but in the same neighborhood at least.

    that's the latest from sleepyhead. hope you are all good and at peace on this fine Monday.

    be well loves,
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

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  14. #8
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    Good evening folks,

    Another nice day here but not bragging, haha! The weather is about to turn ugly soon enough.
    Picked up my 9 yr old grandson for a visit earlier today but will be returning him before dark, haha!! He’s playing Roblx on my laptop while I am using the iPad.

    PQ, hope your day was swell

    Pauly, I’m still hoping that woman disappears soon so the rest of you can work in relative peace & safety.
    Kids have the weirdest taste in foods. This one here is a huge meat eater & turns his nose up at most everything else. I’d hateto see his cholesterol level in 20 years.

    Mick, I think the entire world is experiencing upheaval right now. Statiscally speaking it has to settle down again.....hopefully very soon.
    Hope you got your stojne delivery OK. Tomorrow the concrete guys will be getting started here. Such fun, Lol

    Det, hiding in the AC is something I absolutely excel at haha! I cannot deal with excessive heat & the humidity we get here.
    Glad you have some work lined up to keep you honest! I think I actually slept most ogf the night, just remember tossing around a time or two. Sleep is precious!

    Hello to Pie, Sam & hugs to Cyn

    Guess I’ll get on the road & take this boy home before it gets dark. My night vision really stinks anymore.
    Have a nice night all.

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  15. #9
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    MAE ALL...

    Pauly...that's one thing I'll never get used to, people carrying guns.

    Mick...yup the border remains closed for now. It might get interesting when DT throws a hissy fit though. Did you get your stone delivered?

    Det...glad you got a bit of a break with the weather over the weekend. You be careful with your eyes. Re-launch is for the community centre not personal biz.

    Speaking of re-launch been working on it on and off all day. Just finding it hard to stick with it. Today has been a down day for me so decided to play bridge this afternoon. Now I must decide what to make for dinner. Have a good night all....PPQP

    X-Post Lav...we had a decent day here as well, not that it mattered never headed outside today. Just waiting for some thunderstorms to roll in.
    Last edited by porqoui; June 8th, 2020 at 06:15 PM.

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    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: June 7th

    Mae everybody, Mick those jokes are hilarious! Nothing like a good laugh in the morning haha I'm beginning to wonder if these protesters know what they're protesting anymore and I'm tired of the hatred towards cops, sure there's some bad ones but hell they're human too and I'd like to see half these people do that job! I'd be a feckin wreck, PQ, glad you got some bridge time in, Lab I'm a huge meat eater like your grandson that's why I was surprised my iron was low, need to go get that checked eventually too cuz it's starting to feel low again, just this weeird body tingle and weakness I get, got a stimulus from my tribe but I gotta provide receipts for rent, utilities, etc by Jan 2021 to prove it wasn't used for"luxury items" or else I'll get taxed, that was great tho cuz I didn't expect it, paid Kell and Lb mostly back cuz they helped me ALOT during my time off work that feels good to give some back to them, Det, you sound busy, take some chill time, supposed to be cooler today too, much love to all and wishes for a great BF Tuesday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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