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Thread: 13th September

  1. #1
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    13th September

    Hell all ...how are we today?hope everyone is well.Weather over here is lovely ,both rabbits outside ..Im growing kale in large containers for the rabbits behind the greenhouse ...how they did it I dont know but last night I found them amongst it all having a little party to themselves .no wonder they end up with sore stomachs

    hello ppqp,how are you keeping?hope you are ok .Im doing fine ,bit down but ok ..thank you for your offer .Hows work doing?with the pseudo boss?were you at cards this week?

    Hello Lav..aka Dr Dolittle...(Walked down to say hello to the horses after dinner) how are you then? thank you for your thoughts too. hows your neighbours in pencilvanya...ha ha .one of the 41 states ..Im of the same ilk as you ..there was some stuff of Amys in the loft ....a gentle reminder required ....and taken...

    hiya pauly how are you then? hope all is well with you ..again thanks for your thoughts..Im sure its rum they drink in Honduras ,but they have one called pinol which they drink like water .how is your weekend going? hope its ok ..

    hiya det ..you ok mate..sounds like you are back on the hoss ......

    That kid of mine tore the shop down in a spiteful tantrum and made me look a right muppet just because I couldn't find a Coke bottle with his name on it.

    Anyway, he settled down a bit when I promised him his face would be on every milk carton in the county soon.

    I used to teach history, but thats all in the past.

    I started teaching biology but my heart wasn't in it.

    I tried teaching chemistry, but there were elements i didnt understand.

    I was offered a job teaching maths, but something didn't add up.

    I was sent to Germany to do food science, that was the wurst.

    I've started teaching physics, its got potential.

    Deliverance County currently has a zero rating on Tripadvisor.

    Way down in the heat of Texas there was a teacher helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

    He asked for help and she could see why...

    Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat.

    She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet...


    He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.'

    She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My mom made me wear 'em.'

    Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

    Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?'

    He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.'

    She will be eligible for parole in three years!


    Liverpool airport has been shut for the past 8 hours due to a "suspicious car".



    Apparently it had tax, insurance and the radio was still in it.

    Police attending an incident in Liverpool returned to their car to find it up on bricks.
    Officers are working tyrelessly to find the culprit.

    Labour have pledged to invest in Merseyside and create 100,000 jobs if they win the election.

    The Conservatives now regard Liverpool as a safe seat.

    A Scouser went on Dragons Den, the Dragons asked him what his idea was to make money.
    At this point the Scouser pulls out a satchel and a sawn off shotgun.
    He says to the Dragons, "It's a simple concept, fill the satchel with all your valuables and money or I'll fcking shoot you"

    I went to see my uncle the other day.
    He said "I'm fcking sick of being here, I've got scousers to the left, scousers to the right, scousers above and fcking scousers below.

    I said "I understand that uncle, but you've got to remember one thing,
    you are in prison after all.

    A Scouser takes his telescopic fishing rod back to the tackle shop to ask for a refund.
    "What's wrong sir, wrong casting weight?"
    "No mate, the eyes are catching on the letterbox"

    99% of Liverpool actually voted to stay in Europe...

    "It's feckin great like," said one scouser, "all dese foreigners having our jobs."

    On the trains: "See it, say it, sort it". except in Liverpool of course where it's, See it, steal it, sell it.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: 13th September

    Greetings all!

    Lots of clouds today but not hot so that’s OK with me.
    Found myself mopping floors & washing windows. I didn’t plan to do it, it just happened haha!! I guess I should have more days like that, geez.

    Mick, you seem to be feeling better today, hope you are.
    I was so reluctant with the last dental work I had done I was ready to refuse &just say screw it. But, now I’m glad I had it done & everything is working OK.
    I don’t want to make any generalizations but the typical (older) farmer around here is pretty wanker-ish & not overly educated. When I read postings like the one I saw the other day I just have to join in the laughter. The problem is these people are voting too & that depresses me. I know they’re all voting Republican because their parents & grandparents did. They do not take a damn minute to read current events & even know WHO they are voting for, ugh
    I very much want to put a Biden/Harris sign on my front yard but I’m afraid they would shoot at it, Lol

    Det, hope your day was good, Pauly you too!

    Pie, check in, it’s been a while

    Hello to Sam & Cyn! I think Cyn may be making her way back home soon & will be posting soon.

    Wishing everyone a decent night!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: 13th September

    MAE ALL...

    Busy weekend for me. Landlord is going to replace all my appliances and he was at the store texting me for measurements and pictures of the fridge, stove, washer & dryer. He's also going to replace the flooring in the kitchen/utility room so more pictures and measurements. Moved all the furniture around so the delivery guys could get the appliances in. Then discovered a 48hr notice in the mailbox about redoing the deck so that's supposed to happen today. Had to make more room to move all the stuff off the deck. We've decided it's a good time to get rid of all the junk that has accumulated so the boys will be busy today. Good day to go to work me thinks. LOL They're starting work on my office today so hopefully by the end of the week I can get moved back in and settled. I refuse to unpack my temporary workstation just to repack it so I've been working out of boxes.

    Mick...good to see you're feeling a bit better. I hope you don't end up having to doctor the peskies after their free for all. Were you able to get a hold of the medicine you need yet? At least your weather is behaving for you.

    Lav...you're probably right about the lawn sign becoming target practice. LOL It was more smoky than cloudy here yesterday. I'm going to have to be extra careful when outside. Good to hear TG is heading home, I've missed her posts. Keep checking the tracking site but there's been no change on my end. I'm not worried though, last package you sent arrived at the door a day before the tracking was updated.

    Thinking of the rest of the gang and hoping all is good with everyone. Have a great BF Monday all....PPQP

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    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: 13th September

    Mae everybody, Mick waking up to scouser jokes, what could be better hah! Yep put some greens out and the animals are sure to find it and get a teeny ladder or something to get to it so it seems, those tortoises in my backyard can reach ANYTHING that's not up on the table out there! Lav, they were out in full force here yesterday cuz DT was in town, PQ, how's things going? Sam Pie? Det, are you glad it's been a bit cooler? There was lots of good delivery orders yesterday but I only took one in the morning cuz I had the boys, Romeo has had an allergic reaction to something in my house for the past two Sundays and I can't figure out what it could be, I'm suspecting the guinea pigs? I've always had them but he might have developed an allergy to them or their waste, I felt SO bad for him I called Kell to come get them earlier than she usually does, his eye was swelling up like he'd been in the ring with Tyson poor kid, any ideas Lav as to what it could be? All of a sudden allergies? Anyhoo much love to all and wishes for a great BF Monday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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  9. #5
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: 13th September

    hello all...how are we today then? hope all is well today with everyone..guess what ..it is 34 degrees here today...and the sun is cracking the flags ....feeling better today ..Pauly you are right these little gits can get anywhere ..theres a plan he does the job and she keeps lookout ...when he has sorted it she then joins in .hope you have a good day .

    hiya ppqp ..hows you then ? wow thats a turn up landlord going to replace all the electrical items?wow and the rest of it too...think you are right best be at work when it all happens .take care

    hiya Lav hows you then? hope all is well with you ..so some of the folk there havent got all the sandwiches in their picnic?wow ...hows your weather today?we have the same tomorrow....

    hiya everyone else

    Your Annual Dementia Test

    It's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test.

    Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles.

    As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it!

    Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.

    Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not.

    The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer.

    OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.



    1. What do you put in a toaster?





    Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast,' give up now and do something else.
    Try not to hurt yourself.

    If you said, bread, go to Question 2.






    2. Say ' silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?






    Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question.

    Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat.

    Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World.

    However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.





    3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks,

    what is a green house made from?




    Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.




    4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany

    (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany .)

    Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine

    is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do

    so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany

    and West Germany .

    Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , or no man's land'?




    Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop.




    If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.




    5. Without using a calculator!

    You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales .

    In London , 17 people get on the bus.

    In Reading , six people get off the bus and nine people get on.

    In Swindon , two people get off and four g et on.

    In Cardiff , 1 1 people get off and 16 people get on.

    In Swansea , three people get off and five people get on .

    In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.

    What was the name of the bus driver?






    Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!
    Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!



    Never mind, it part of getting old.....
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    Re: 13th September

    Happy Unhung Monday ABeroooodles!

    ah, nice relaxing weekend for us peeps and Pauly, yes this cooler weather is a blessing for sure.
    made it to a new (to us) Persian restaurant on Sat and it was really good. They also had a deli section
    for specialty Middle Eastern foods so I stocked up on a few weird things.

    Mick, bunnies made their own salad then? hope they didn't overeat too much. We had kale last night come to think
    of it along with some killer ribs I did over mesquite. yummo!

    which insane out of touch old white guy will I be voting for? aaaaagh! please tell me this is just a bad dream.

    not sure if I mentioned before but all 3 of our new passports have arrived. yeah! wooo! I feel better now just knowing I can
    travel even though many places are still closed such as Italy. boo! hopefully soon.....

    PPQ, a full home makeover? that's pretty darn exciting.

    Lav, cleaning floors can be a real workout. thanks for the note on Cyn.

    Pie? helloo....hope all is well

    Sam? all good?

    well, 3 shoots today including a twilight so it will be a late one and no gym...oh well. I certainly need the work
    so no complaints here.

    ok, off to see the wizard... be well loves!
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

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    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: 13th September

    Good evening Abbers,

    It’s currently 68 degrees, no humidity, I am happy
    Could this actually be fall arriving or will we get hit with another heat wave or two?? Who knows?
    I heard #45 told CA today that it will ‘get colder’. WTF?
    Nearly 30 dead, 22 missing in the wildfires, how sad.

    PQ, you’re going to have a brand new place, that’s awesome!!
    I hope they get your office done quickly as well. I have more masks to mail out tomorrow so I’ll check on the status of yours as well. I still don’t know why mail goes east from here to NJ before turning northwest to get to you, haha!!

    Pauly, kids & allergies, ugh! When they are real small like Romeo they constantly have their hands in their eyes & mouth. He could be reacting to something you used to clean with, that’s not unusual. I keep a small bottle of Benadryl liquid to dose the kids quickly. Until they’re big enough to wash their own hands, especially after touching pets, you really need to keep wiping their hands for them. Hope he feels better soon.

    Mick, I think I passed the dementia test, LOL
    Glad yo are on the mend today & enjoying a nice day! Washed a few more windows today, no floor mopping.

    Det, you sound better too, I’m glad!
    So you think Italy will be your #1 trip some day? That would be nice.
    Btw - I don’t think Biden is out of touch & we should feel safe voting for him. He truly does care about people & the planet unlike that big orange turd in the WH.

    Hello to Pie, Sam & Cyn.

    Have a nice night all!
    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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    Registered User. Samstone's Avatar

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    Re: 13th September

    morning all. I just read this and wondered if it was Mick?
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/natio...NKR2VYJMKWJ64Q
    Liberated 5/11/2013

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    Re: 13th September

    Mae everybody, PQ, we were cross posting yesterday, glad to hear of the new kitchen and deck Lav, yeah I let him handle the guinea pig not even giving it a thought, that was dumb, Sam maybe it is Mick haha, Det, don't get me started on the two up for election, I can't even get excited about either but I'd rather not talk politics cuz that's not what we're here for and it is very stressful and I'm tired of feeling stressed, much love to the gang and wishes for a great BF Tuesday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: 13th September

    hiya all a cracking day here yet again ...really hot .no it wasnt me on the underground Sam ,though there are a good few need to take heed of common sense and not your nutty leader...
    hiya pauly hows you then ?apart from not liking parrots with watches ....hope all is well with you

    hiya Lav ...garden untouched but def got plans in my skull .My friends funeral is on Friday....I still cant get my head round it all .but I will.hows things in pensilvanya..with spelling like that can I join the protest? you take care

    hiya ppqp ..you ok ? how goes it with the refurb?hope all is well

    hiya Det ...I love Italy been the length of Italy twice ,been to Venice 3 times..my fave was the top to toe tour ..started in Venice ....ended up in Sicily..I needed a holiday on return!!if you go mate give me a shout .maybe I can help you with tips /ideas

    hiya teegee how are you doing? hope things are on the up for you xx

    right folks take care x stay safe.

    I know four brothers who live in squalour who are always eating pizza and getting into fights.

    Cowabunga!

    How many council workers does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Definitely more than the six that are allowed to be in one place at a time.

    I was at the bar and I ordered a pint of lager and a Pepsi for the Wife and went to sit down.
    She said "where's the straw?"
    Went back over to the bar and said "have you got a straw for the coke"
    Landlord replied "just use a rolled up fiver like everybody else"

    How do you know a scouser is literate?

    They have a shopping list at the rubbish tip.

    BBC news: Life may have been found on Venus...
    Venus news: More idiotic rules starting today on Earth

    I'm sorry to have to leak a secret memo, but there's an asteroid the size of the Isle of Wight heading straight for Earth and due to hit on/around the 2nd of November.

    Donald Trump doesn't want to panic people and will therefore let Americans know about it in December.

    Priti Patel vows to snitch on her OWN neighbours if they break the Covid 'Rule of Six'.

    Bit harsh, since she lives next door to her Mother.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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