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Thread: 31 jan

  1. #21
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    4th July, 2012.
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    Re: 31 jan

    hiya all how are we today ? hope all is well with everyone ...Great to get these 2 back but certainly got my hands full. He has recovered well ..she is just her normal crazy self .cold but dry here today ...

    hiya teegee ...hope all is well with you ..and Zander ..Amy seems to have recovered she has gone back to work..her boyfriend isnt so great though ...coughing has come back again .you take care

    Hiya Lav hows you then today? hope all is good in your world .Its great to get these 2 back even though you have got to have eyes in the back of your head ...started next series of 24 ..Wayne Palmer made a deal with the chinese ...Jack has escaped from the guys that were going to to torture him ..apart from that ...norra lot .

    hiya ppqp ...hows you then ?all good I hope ..only chance of fixing loco is to put a new shell on it .yep Ive just coloured my hair too.we are supposed to get snow tomorrow ...eek

    hiya pauly you ok? hope so ..

    right folks have a great weekend

    Yesterday, the wife swore she saw a cockroach in the kitchen. She disinfected everything and thoroughly cleaned the whole area.

    Today, before going to work, I've put the cockroach in the bathroom.

    With all the recent celebrity deaths I'm worried about Mark Knopfler.

    Somebody told me he was in dire straits.

    "What is the population of France?" asked the teacher.

    "Mostly French," I replied.

    1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He ate too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it was an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class as a weapon of maths disruption.

    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it remains stationery.

    6. A dog gave birth in the park and was cited for littering.

    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    9. A hole was found in a nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One said: "You stay here; I'll go on a head."

    13. I wondered why the cricket ball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    t was a bitterly cold day on the Carnoustie golf course and Jimmy the caddy was expecting a large tip from his rich Scottish client. As they approached the clubhouse, Jimmy heard the words he was longing to hear, 'This is for a hot glass of whisky'.

    So the caddy held out his hand and the Scottish client put a sugar cube in his palm.

    The Giant Gorilla
    There was once a man that owned a giant gorilla and, all its life, he'd never left it on its own. But eventually he had to go on a business trip and had to leave his gorilla in the care of his next-door neighbor.

    So he explained to his neighbor that all he had to do was feed his gorilla three bananas a day at three, six and nine o'clock.

    But he was never ever, ever to touch its fur.

    So the next day the man came and gave the gorilla a banana and looked at it for a while thinking, “Why can't I touch its fur?” as their didnt seem to be anything wrong with it.

    Every day he came in and looked for a little while longer as he still couldnt understand until, about a week later, he'd worked himself into a frenzy and decided that he was going to touch the gorilla.

    He passed it the banana and very gently brushed the back of his hand against its fur.

    Suddenly the gorilla went ape and started to jump around, then it turned and began to running towards the man who, in turn, ran through the front door, over the lawn, across the street, into some one else's sports car and drove off.

    In the rear-view mirror, he could see the gorilla in his friend's sports car, driving right behind him.

    He drove for two hours until the engine began to splutter and the car just stopped. He jumped out and began to run down the street, over a brick wall, into someone's front garden and up the apple tree.

    He turned around to find the gorilla right behind him beating its chest.

    The man jumped down and ran back in to the street screaming, until it became dark and he thought he'd lost the gorilla.

    The man ran into an alleyway then, suddenly, he saw a giant shaddow coming down the street ahead.

    The gorilla!

    It came to the end of the alley, stood and looked striaght into the bloodshoot eyes of the man and came towards him slowly.

    This time there was no escape. As the gorilla neared him, the man began to feel faint.

    The giant beast came face to face with him, raised its mighty hand and said, “Tag! You're it”!
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then proudly marching into year 8..done that bimbling into year 9..tick ..done that one he casually strolls into numero 10


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  3. #22
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    30th June, 2012.
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    Re: 31 jan

    Mae everybody, Mick glad Jeeves is better, how's Amy and her boyfriend doing? I hope lots better Cyn, glad Zander is doing better too, Lav, I need to take a look at your page again and buy something, I have a few things in mind I'd like, maybe instead of a tattoo like some people do I'll get a memorial sweatshirt of my brother and sister, hey why not, still mourning them both and now I'm mourning Dottie, I didn't expect to feel so bad but she's just gone, I almost feel like there's someone in the neighborhood doing something, animal control never picked her up, she's not roaming around and this same thing happened with Spencer, just disappear into thin air, so weird, PQ, glad to hear the boys are keeping busy and are ok, we sure worry about our kids no matter their age, thought I'd be done when they turned 18 nope I worry more haha, much love to the gang and wishes for a great BF Fryday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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  5. #23
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    13th February, 2009.
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    Re: 31 jan

    Good evening friends,

    Fairly mild here & sunny, felt like a blessing. Still have snow laying around & now we’re getting more on Sunday, up to 8”, ugh.
    My grandson is back for the weekend. He arrived at 4:30 this afternoon & has consumed 3 giant slices of pizza, a handful of French fries, a bowl of ice cream. Several cookies.....Lol, he never stops!!

    Pauly, I’m sad to hear about the dogs disappearing like that. Do you think there is someone in the area grabbing them? Stranger things have happened.
    I’ll look into some designs to memorialize your brother & sister, that would be a nice thing

    Mick, I now know to never get into a game of tag with a gorilla, haha!!!
    Glad your fur kids are happy & healthy. It’s a good thing when they’re a pain in the a$$!!!
    I hope Amy’s boyfriend hasn’t developed a chronic lung condition with this darn virus. Glad you’re enjoying ‘24’, it was a good series.

    Cyn, poor Zander, I hope he continues to improve. Maybe this winter weather bothers him more than we know?
    I finally got all but 2 of my chickens to go outside today & now we’re facing another snowy slap in the face, geez.
    Keep yourself warm & safe too!

    PQ, hope your day was good & you can relax this weekend!

    Hello to Det, Sam & Pie.

    Have a nice night all!
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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  7. #24
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    13th May, 2012.
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    Re: 31 jan

    MAE ALL...

    TG...glad to hear Zander is better and that you were able to get a bit of sun yesterday. No sun here for me today!

    Mick...glad you at least had a dry day today. Sounds like things have gotten back to normal for the Peskies. I'm so glad Amy has recovered and I hope her BF doesn't have lasting effects from this. That's too bad about the loco, hope it wasn't one of the newer ones. So did you dye your hair (head) red so Julie can find you in the snow?

    Pauly...what a nice idea about a memorial sweatshirt. I'll have to see what Lav comes up with, I may be interested too. Well, that just sucks about Dottie. It really does sound like something is up.

    Lav...I'm glad I don't have to deal with your grocery bill. LOL Did some work today but just couldn't get into it so I will be doing some over the weekend. It's not like I'll be going outside at all.

    White Out conditions here today and didn't get above -5F. Had to pop out for a prescription, it was a scary trip. Snow has stopped for the moment but is supposed to start up again tonight. Good weekend to stay in doors. Have a good night all....PPQP

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  9. #25
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    4th April, 2010.
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    Re: 31 jan

    Mae all - quick goodnight to all -

    Pauly and PPQ, Lav's sweatshirts are so soft and cuddly, it really feels like a hug... perfect for a memorial sweatshirt...

    Mick, glad the peskies and Amy are feeling better... sorry about the boyfriend... hope this is not long term...

    PPQ, that was scary reading that you had to go out in the storm... don't they deliver?! Hope you don't have to do that again...

    Det, Sa, Pie and all... hope you are staying well and warm and strong wherever you are...

    I'm off to bed... long day... seek the Light...

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  11. #26
    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    10th October, 2006.
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    Re: 31 jan

    Happy Saturday ABerooos!

    oh my, moving truck finally made it yesterday so it was a huge day of moving heavy things, unpacking and figuring out where to cram
    our crap... we're exhausted but so happy to have our household items again. A real bed! woohoo! (it's the simple things that are important).

    PPQ, I'm getting used to snowy climes again as we had a winter storm yesterday. I must say it's just gorgeous... a winter wonderland with the
    most dramatic mountains, amazing sunrises/sunsets. finally got my photo gear so will be getting back into the swing of things here. We're thinking
    of a drive up to Park City to check it out.

    Lav, please PM me your store link. sounds neato

    Pauly, loving your IG pics and videos of the kiddos and cute critters.

    Mick, thanks as always for the boot-up. looks like aside from a few odds and ends everyone is getting along ok with things.

    ok, getting ready to do breakfast at a local cafe we've never been to. Everything is still so new and fascinating.

    and.... I'm onboarding with a photo contract that is WAY more lucritive than my previous one in Vegas. whew! what a blessing

    last night to celebrate having actual kitchen equipment again I went bonkers and grilled a huge tomahawk ribeye steak, made homemade
    strawberry dressing for an arugula salad, and made insalata caprese-topped bruschetta with fresh basil and buffalo mozzarella. moink!

    wishing you all a magical and peaceful weekend

    be well loves.
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

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  13. #27
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    13th May, 2012.
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    Re: 31 jan

    MAE ALL... good to hear the truck arrived, what a relief. Yes it is the simple things that are important. Winter and snow brings a whole new perspective to things. I'm hoping you'll investigate taking pictures of individual snowflakes. The new photo contract sounds exciting. I must say I'm surprised you can go to a local cafe. Some of our restrictions are opening on Monday with partial indoor dining. Your dinner last night sounds absolutely scrumptious. You all stay safe and enjoy exploring your new surroundings.

    TG...I hope you get some down time this weekend, I know that's hard as it's your busiest time. Normally I could get my meds delivered but due to the storm not possible yesterday.

    We are socked into the deep freeze for a couple of weeks now. Still not as bad as it was last year, they haven't issued the Extreme Cold Warning (-40) for us, yet. Our wind chill is sitting at -22F this morning. Staying inside today and I may just watch the "big" game tomorrow. Shout out to the rest of the gang, will check back in later and see how everyone is doing....PPQP

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  15. #28
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    4th July, 2012.
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    Re: 31 jan

    Hiya everyone how are we today then ? hope everyone is doing good. Well today we have had some cracking weather it was sunny first thing this morning then rained and then snowed then rained and now it's snowing. Both rabbits are in the garage I honestly haven't seen them looking so good for a long time they haven't stopped eating hay all day it's a nightmare trying to give him his medication he knows exactly when it's coming what's coming and how how have to give him quarter of a tablet Crushed up and diluted with water and syringed as well as the other types of meds per day and he knows which is which one of them he likes the others he isnt no bothered about and just let it dribble at his mouth if he so chooses but just like giving kids veg all you do is mix them all up a little bit... not mix the kids up!!! I've been messing about putting lights and all the rest of my carriages today day on the railway I've put lights in 11 coaches today think I've had enough now take care look after yourself I will try and nip in later on and put some jokes up


    Studies have shown that intelligent people swear more than stupid motherfckers.

    A girl with a lump under her eye came up close to me in a club.

    "What's that?" I asked, pointing at it.

    "I have a sty." She replied.

    "Well," I said, "you'd better get back in it before the farmer notices you're missing."

    "Hello mate. How's the baby?"

    "Fine, thanks."

    "Sorry, I'm useless at remembering names."


    "Erm...ok. Well, seeya Lucy."

    For those of you that do not have facebook... It's been snowing... And we are all bitching about it!

    There was this world famous painter.

    In the prime of her career, she started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world.

    After several weeks of delicate surgery and therapy, her eyesight was restored. The painter was so grateful that she decided to show her gratitude by repainting the doctor's office.

    Part of her work included painting a gigantic eye on one wall. When she had finished her work, she held a press conference to unveil her latest work of art: the doctor's office.

    During the press conference, one reporter noticed the eye on the wall, and asked the doctor, "What was your first reaction upon seeing your newly painted office, especially that large eye on the wall"?

    To this, the eye doctor responded, "I said to myself 'Thank God I'm not a proctologist'".

    Marriage Quotations and Observations
    Marriage is not a word. It is a sentence (a life sentence).

    Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

    Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Master's.

    Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffe-ring.

    Married life is full of excitement and frustration: in the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

    Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

    There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.

    A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.

    Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
    Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

    Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.
    Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

    Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

    They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.

    When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

    There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her.
    They got married, and now he is going through HELL.

    When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

    Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe, Southeast Asia and the Philippines.

    After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.

    Marriage is when a man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

    Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "y" becomes silent.

    I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.

    It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer.

    Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.

    A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL, MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE,
    WHAT HAPPENED? asked his friend. He says, MY WIFE FOUND OUT.

    WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.

    At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER?
    The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

    Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

    It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

    A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received hundreds of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

    When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife iS NEW !

    Marriage is like a deck of cards....................

    In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond.

    By the end..............

    you'll wish you had a fcking club and a spade.....

    An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church. There's a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates.

    Then the priest comes in. "Father, forgive me, for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".

    The priest replies: "Get out. You're on my side".

    Life is sexually transmitted.

    Some people are like a Slinky ...
    Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
    Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

    and finally..."Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers; What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow"
    Last edited by Mick; February 6th, 2021 at 04:47 PM.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then proudly marching into year 8..done that bimbling into year 9..tick ..done that one he casually strolls into numero 10


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  17. #29
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    13th February, 2009.
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    Re: 31 jan

    Good evening friends,

    Not bad here today, you almost wouldn't know there's another snow storm waiting in the wings, haha! I keep hearing different predictions so I don't know how much we're getting, possibly as much as last Sunday's storm. I'm not going anywhere either unless we run out of food which is always possible when you have a chronic eater staying over, Lol.

    Cyn, it seems like we no sooner clear a path for the animals & we have to do it again. I don't care for this heavy wet snow, ugh. Be careful out there!

    Det, glad to hear you are settled in! Moving is never easy, that's for sure. Congrats on the new work contract, sounds good. Saw your food pics, yum!
    I am way too lazy to open an online store although I have thought about one. I have a Facebook page for my embroidered gifts & haven't updated it since Halloween, haha. Since I closed my embroidery business two years ago I have basically been doing craft shows & doing gifts when requested. The locals have been keeping me fairly busy with repeat business, bless them, haha!

    PQ, a minus 22 wind chill - I can't even imagine. Stay inside & stay warm!!! That's just crazy
    My DIL is in NJ visiting her Dad & I told her to get on the road early tomorrow. If she doesn't make it home then I have to keep this kid another day & night. I'll probably have an empty fridge, haha!!

    Mick, glad to hear the bunnies are happy & well. Your weather sounds dreadful too, ugh. Stay home & keep working on this trains, why not?

    Hello to Sam & Pie.

    Have a nice night all!

    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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  19. #30
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    4th April, 2010.
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    Re: 31 jan

    Mae all,

    Mick, sorry about having to give the meds... but so glad they are well and eating well. Good luck with the lights. Loved the proctologist joke!

    Det - good job on everything! You are the poster boy for making change and being happy, congrats. Sounds beautiful there... and what a great gift to have a better job in your field - oh, and I'll be right over for dinner... ��

    PPQ, sheesh, that is some cold!!! Stay in and stay warm! I hope at least they will deliver groceries to you in this cold, yikes!

    Lav, what's your FB page? Watch out... more orders may be coming... I truly hope your DIL comes in time to get the teen... sounds like he's a Vacuum cleaner of an eater!

    Pauly, sounds like I need to get onto your IG ... I am just getting back to all that now...

    Sam, hoping all is well... same to you, Pie, and all others. Wishing you all a good evening...

    Light lifting us...

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