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Thread: Feb 14

  1. #21
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    Mae everybody, try to post this real quick before it asks if I want to "leave site" Mick hope everything is ok with your FIL , good score on the pallet Cyn, those high price cars have high price fix it tickets too, I'm with Lav and my next car will be a Chevy, they don't die as quick, everything is ok here gonna be in the 70's next week so that's good, I don't like the cold at all, poor Texas is just in a mess! Much love to all and wishes for a great BF Fryday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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  3. #22
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    Hello everyone how are we today then ? hope all is well ...very cold over here today but at least it is dry. Still no sign of me getting the vaccine haha a friend of mine just let me know he's getting his tomorrow he is 53! So obviously I still look like a Youngster and they're not looking at my records properly yeah right. Got one of my locomotives steaming today actual smoke coming out the funnel looks absolutely brilliant, a pain to get it working but when it does it looks good.
    hiya pauly great to see you hope things are ok with you.
    I'm doing this on my phone just in case anyone doesn't recognise that one , I will will adjust it on the computer later on hope everyone is doing ok I've just come back from a 7 mile walk it started off as a walk to the shop but then from there I decided to walk a little bit further and further and further and further. Take care look after yourselves have a great weekend

    A TV reporter stopped me in the street and said: Have you got an Unsung Hero you'd like to thank for helping during the Covid crisis?. I replied: Yes, how did you know?! - that's the bloke who delivers from the Chinese.

    Her: What's his name, Sir?.

    Me: Un sung

    Boris Johnson has pledged surplus covid vaccines to poorer countries.

    Just send me one and I'll administer it myself. I've already got needles.

    Tonight we’re having Himalayan rabbit stew for supper... I found Himalayan on the road!

    After a seven month journey, the Mars probe Perseverance reaches its destination.

    It would have been there in two months, but for most of the journey it had to take a replacement bus service.

    A child sat on Santa's lap and Santa asked "What's your name, little boy ?"

    "Barney."

    "And what do you want for Christmas, Barney ?"

    "A new first name."

    The US lander Perseverance has touched down on Mars, immediately confirming what NASA suspected. The outer core is thick chocolate with a soft caramel centre.

    Q.. How do you relax a Cow?
    A.. Play it mooed music.

    New Definitions
    Cigarette:
    A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

    Lecture:
    An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either

    Conference:
    The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

    Compromise:
    The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

    Tears:
    The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower...

    Dictionary:
    A place where success comes before work.

    Conference Room:
    A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

    Classic:
    A book, which people praise, but do not read.

    Smile:
    A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

    Office:
    A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

    Yawn:
    The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

    Etc.:
    A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

    Committee:
    Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

    Experience:
    The name men give to their mistakes.

    Atom Bomb:
    An invention to end all inventions.

    Philosopher:
    A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

    Diplomat:
    A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

    Opportunist:
    A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

    Optimist:
    A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

    Miser:
    A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

    Father:
    A banker provided by nature.

    Criminal:
    A guy no different from the rest.... except that he got caught.

    Boss:
    Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

    Politician:
    One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

    Doctor:
    A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.



    Flight Attendants
    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the
    "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more
    entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or
    reported:

    =====================//=======================

    "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane..."

    =====================//=======================

    After landing: "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

    =====================//=======================

    As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

    =====================//=======================

    After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced: "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as ###### everything has shifted."

    =====================//=======================

    From a Southwest Airlines employee...."Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.
    In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, margarine cups will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with
    more than one small child...pick your favorite.

    =====================//=======================

    "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
    "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation, and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

    =====================//=======================

    Once on a Southwest flight, the pilot said, "We've reached our cruising altitude now, and I'm turning off the seat belt sign. I'm switching to autopilot, too, so I can come back there and visit with all of you for the rest of the flight."
    "Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks will drop from the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children or other adults acting like children."

    =====================//=======================

    "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

    =====================//=======================

    "Last one off the plane must clean it."

    =====================//=======================

    And from the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry...Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight...!"

    =====================//=======================

    Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendants 'fault...it was the asphalt!"

    =====================//=======================

    Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day. During the final approach the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant came on the PA and announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seatbelts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

    =====================//=======================

    Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

    =====================//=======================

    An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for this little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?"
    "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot, "what is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"

    =====================//=======================

    After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the Flight Attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."

    =====================//=======================

    Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of us here at US Airways."

    =====================//=======================
    Last edited by Mick; February 19th, 2021 at 03:00 PM.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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  5. #23
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    Mae all -

    Pauly, good to hear from you ... sorry you have write in such a rush! Glad to hear that you will be having the warm weather that you like!!

    PPQ - hope all is okay with you!

    Lav, our snow is still going... not a huge amount of accumulation, but snow, snow snow... since yesterday noon... oh well, better than ice, and it mostly has covered the slippery spots... still being careful, though... I bet you are making more sourdough-something's... enjoy!

    Mick, you just ended up doing a 7-mile walk? Wow! I guess your body was ready to stretch a bit and get the kinks worked out... glad it was a good enough day for you to do it... glad you told Julie where you were... oh, I guess you didn't say that but... I'm sure you let her know...��. Sorry about the vaccine... good luck...

    Sam. Det and all, wishing you a Good Friday evening...

    To the light...

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  7. #24
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    Good evening friends,

    Still below freezing so everything is icy, oh boy. Snow flurries off & on all day. Just heard the Philadelphia area has had over 23” of snow so far this winter. I think that’s plenty, don’t you? LOL

    Cyn, no baking today but I always have my jar of sourdough starter in the fridge when the mood strikes me
    Speaking of having trouble getting into & out of a vehicle safely YB’s truck is SO darn big I have to haul myself in with 2 hands & slide out slowly & gracefully to my feet to avoid fracturing something. I really do not like that thing, ugh. Zander looks tall enough he could probably just walk into the back of my Equinox Keep yourself safely on your feet, please!!

    Mick, 7 miles is a HIKE not a WALK, haha!!!!
    Still no luck finding a vaccine appt here either. It was in the news today that a 30 something & 40 something females posed as ‘grannies’ in FL trying to get vaccines. They were caught, how pathetically stupid. Glad you family & bunnies are doing well.

    Pauly, a few people have complained of having difficulty posting this week, guess everyone gets a turn. Glad to see yuo today

    PQ & Det, hello to you.
    Sam & Pie, hello.

    I’m in a work mode today so I’ll get back to it for a bit.
    Have a decent night all!

    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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  9. #25
    Registered User. porqoui's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    MAE ALL...

    Sorry for being MIA the last couple of days. I've been immersed in assisting with reprograming for the Corporate Membership module we're using. The company is based in Montreal so with the time difference I find myself online at weird hours of the day and night.

    A quick read through shows everyone is hanging in, good job all.

    Our weather has improved immensely, it's almost Spring like out there. I am definitely going to get some outdoor time in today.

    Have a great Saturday all....PPQP

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  11. #26
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    Who all how are we today then? I tried to get in earlier on this morning but couldn't .... it told me I was a guest and wouldn't let me log in however it is now letting me in at 17:45 so I don't know what happened there but I am certainly turned from guest to being me! Been a quiet day today raining most of the day however but the rabbits have been playing in both the new hutch and their what we have come to know as a summer residence! Julie has just gone down to her dads to give him his tea and make sure he is ok fingers crossed and Touchwood knockwood which whatever you want to call it he seems to have been a little better last couple of days. Quiet day ,been watching a bit of television and going through all my photographs that are on disc for pictures of Amy when she was young ,,,Julie hasn't got many so I downloaded them all from disc. Measured the bathroom and toilet next week I'm going to start on the flooring changing from tiles because one of them has broken so it is coming up and I'm going to put cushion flooring down
    ... at the same time or after I've done that job I've got the window ledge on the Stairway to sand back to bare Wood and stain up apart from that no great plans take care look after yourselves I'm doing this on my phone and will correct it all later on... take care have a great weekend everyone stay safe sober and sane

    My mate said "I'm going to try and plant horse chestnuts across the four corners of the earth"

    Fcking idiot, he's only trying to conker the world

    I saw a deer driving home from work last night.

    He wasn't even wearing a seat belt.

    Never insult an Italian baker...

    He'll beat the focaccia!!

    I've really been getting into this gorilla glue challenge thing today, its so exciting I can't put my phone down even for a minute.

    The accident happened because I had one eye on the lorry in front, one eye on the pedestrian and the other on the car behind. (Thanks Sharon Burrows)

    I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.

    I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised the car was on fire so took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

    Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident
    A: Travelled by bus

    The claimant had collided with a cow. The questions and answers on the claim form were -
    Q: What warning was given by you
    A: Horn.
    Q: What warning was given by the other party
    A: Moo.

    I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.

    On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke.

    I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.

    I didnt think the speed limit applied after midnight

    I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk.

    Q: Do you engage in motorcycling, hunting or any other pastimes of a hazardous nature
    A: I Watch the Lottery Show and listen to Terry Wogan.

    First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car.

    Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.

    The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again

    I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.

    The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.

    I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way

    A truck backed through my windshield into my wifes face

    A pedestrian hit me and went under my car

    In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

    I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.

    I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.

    An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.

    I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

    Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I dont have.

    I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

    The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

    I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

    As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before.

    To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

    My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.

    I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.

    I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

    The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

    I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

    The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

    The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.

    The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "

    I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.

    I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.

    When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.

    The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.

    No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.

    I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

    The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

    I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

    The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.

    My car got hit by a submarine. (The Navy informed the wife of a submariner that the craft was due in port. She drove to the base to meet her husband and parked at the end of the slip where the sub was to berth. An inexperienced ensign was conning the sub and it rammed the end of the slip, breaking a section away, causing her car to fall into the water. The Navy paid the compensation claim.
    Last edited by Mick; February 20th, 2021 at 01:14 PM.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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  13. #27
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    Good evening Abbers,

    Cold today but no snow or rain. Going down in the teens tonight!!
    No grandson again this weekend either so I can do whatever I want haha!!

    PQ, glad to see you are OK & just busy. No spring weather here, no kidding!!!
    I forget we are on different times so your day is a little after mine I guess. Hope the work stuff works out OK for you!

    Mick, you sure are handy around the house, haha!
    YB has been busy driving Amish back & forth all day. They are holding their annual auction, Amish come from all over. Yesterday he hauled a half ton of potatoes for them to make french fries. He said they sold them all, LOL
    Glad to hear Julie’s dad is stable. Watching their meds & insuring adequate fluid intake goes a lot to helping them remain stable.

    Hello to Cyn, Det, Pauly, Sam & Pie. Hope everyone is OK.

    Have a nice night all!
    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

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  15. #28
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    Mae all -

    Well, strange doings here on the thread... I KNOW that I sign out, but when I come back, here I am again signed in... well, gremlins are having fun here...

    Lav, Zander is a tall dog, but is having very bad back leg problems... and with his wounded-from-puppy-hood right front leg, and overworked left front leg, walking generally and climbing up anything is a difficulty. But this AM, as I was getting boxes figured out in the house, I came across a support-type vest that I purchased last autumn, didn't think it worked, and never got around to sending back. It is a harness with a handle in the middle of the back, plus an optional handle with straps to hold from above. I thought it was too small for him, but on closer inspection.... it works! so now I have more leverage to help him up the ramp into my already lo-slung car... a little progress, and he seems happier...

    Pauly, hope your spring weather is staying around.

    Det, I hope,the work options are getting better...

    PPQ, I totally understand about how hard it is to work with half the team on a different coast - difficult! Good luck to you, the project sounds tough...

    Mick, well thank goodness you haven't let a day go by without a lot of projects in the pipeline! So nice that you found pics of Amy... I was so looking forward to going through pics in December and January, but I guess now it will all have to wait until the autumn... sigh. By the way, your locomotive with the steam sounds wonderful! Congrats! Hope the bunnies continue to stay well...

    Hello to Sam, hope you are not in mud season yet, and hope you have heat!!!

    Wishing all well... it was light still at 6 pm here today... so lovely. Happy half-moon...

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  17. #29
    Registered User. Determinator's Avatar

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    Re: Feb 14

    Happy Sunday ABerooooonies near and far!

    looking like the crew is holding up pretty well in spite of whatever keeps getting thrown at us all.

    Tree, that's a great idea for helping the poochie.

    Lav, cold and snowy-ish here but not quite enough to go sledding yesterday.... we tried but couldn't find a very close spot so
    next we'll drive east to the mountains where there is a LOT of snow to be had.

    we drove to our nearby Lake Utah which is pretty marshy but there's a few docks/boat ramps so you can get right down to it.

    couple pics: Shared album - London Lewis - Google Photos (unedited from phone)

    Mick, a smoking train? that's some great realism for sure. Hope it stops for the tiny cows

    job scene is still frustrating me. m'love tells me to be patient. ommmmm.... several irons in the fire
    so I'll try that 'patence thing' and carry on. In the meantime making adjustments to my website etc.

    girly had a bad day of immaturity yesterday which made me angry. i hate feeling that way and thankfully don't
    feel that emotion very often at all but I didn't sleep well the night before and just got pretty dark. didn't say or do
    anything out of line but the girls saw I was not happy. got in a meditation and mellowed out pretty well and slept
    good last night. whew.

    Here's a silly little video I made making arugula pesto Shared album - London Lewis - Google Photos
    I was having so much fun I forgot to add the almonds. ack!

    ok...figuring out the breakfast thingy next...

    be well loves!
    nosce te ipsum
    (Know Thyself)

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