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Thread: April 18th

  1. #21
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    Re: April 18th

    Mae everybody, Mick sorry about the geraniums Cyn, ((hugs)) my dear friend, it'll never go away but gets tolerable over time, you've been such a strong woman through all of it and I'm impressed by you, I want to be like you Lav, I bet the snow looked nice at least haha, wonder if Det is dealing with any snow right now? Not much going on here, no news is good news, I'm a bit pissed that they want to open up 100%here by June first, it's not just our country that has covid, it's affecting alot of different countries bad right now so obviously they're not gonna travel here duh, probably lose money by opening but I'm sick of thinking about it, much love to all and wishes for a great BF Saturday!
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

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  3. #22
    Registered User. Mick's Avatar

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    Re: April 18th

    hiya all ...how are we then?yet another cracking day over here ...its supposed to change on tuesday ...another sceduled do nothing day gone wrong ...moved a load of plants ,redid the floor in the rabbit hutch cleaned the rabbits out..so not a lot .The farmer cut the hay on the field at the top of the hill...Ive been snottering since and a sorethroat..so at least I know what could be the problem....

    hiya tee gee hows you then? hope all is well?doesnt matter how bright we think we are we still all forget stuff name places faces so you arent on your own ...Malcolm...oops what am I reading?seafaring fiction ..an author called Julian Stockwin. he has written 24 books ..Im on the 19th book ..other authors I like ..Douglas Reeman Simon Scarrow ,etc have a great positive weekend

    hiya Lav ..hows you then?I bought 8 fuschia plants this morning ..at less than 50 cents a plant I question sometime the worthwhileness? of growing them..I know just exactly how your son feels ..Iwas operational for probably 22 of my 25 years. And the 3 years at a grade where there were lots of meetings, interaction with other agencies audits all the stuff that never interested me..fortunately at that grade I surrounded myself with people who were happy to do all that stuff.hope you have a good weekend .

    big shout to yall..pauly ppqp detand anyone else who has sailed close to these shores ...

    A turtle is mugged by three snails.
    When asked by police to give a description of what happened, he replies, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"

    A little turtle begins to climb a tree slowly. After long hours of effort, he reaches the top, jumps into the air waving his front legs, until he crashes heavily into the ground with a hard knock on his shell.

    After recovering his consciousness, he starts to climb the tree again, jumps again, and knocks the ground heavily again.

    The little turtle persisted again and again while a couple of birds sitting at the edge of a branch, watched the turtle with pain. Suddenly the female bird says to the male, "Dear, I think it's time to tell our little turtle he is adopted."

    One day a man was walking in the woods when he got lost. For two days he roamed around trying to find a way out. He had not eaten anything during this period and was famished. Over on a rock ledge he spotted a bald eagle, killed it and started to eat it.

    Surprisingly a couple of park rangers happen to find him at that moment and arrested him for killing an endangered species.

    At court, he plead innocent to the charges against him claiming that if he didn't eat the bald eagle he would have died from starvation.

    The judge ruled in his favor. In the judge's closing statement he asked the man, "I would like you to tell me something before I let you go. I have never eaten a bald eagle, nor ever plan on it. What did it taste like"?

    The man answered, "Well, it tasted like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl".

    Snow White received a camera as a gift. She happily took pictures of the Dwarfs and their surroundings. When she finished her first batch she took the film to be developed. After a week or so she went to get the finished photos. The clerk said the photos were not back from the processor.

    Needless to say, she was disappointed and started to cry. The clerk, trying to console her, said,

    "Don't worry. Someday your prints will come".


    Here are some words of wisdom from Maharishi Fattibastard....

    Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just f--- off and leave me alone.

    The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

    The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.

    Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.

    Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

    Remember, no one is listening until you fart.

    Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.

    Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

    If you think nobody cares whether you're dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments

    Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

    If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.

    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

    Have you ever lent someone $20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.

    If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

    Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.

    Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

    Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgment.

    The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.

    Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.

    Never miss a good chance to shut up.

    Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

    When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse

    The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.

    Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.

    1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
    "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

    2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
    "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

    3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
    "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

    4.My mother taught me LOGIC.
    " Because I said so, that's why."

    5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
    "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

    6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
    "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

    7. My mother taught me IRONY.
    "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

    8 My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
    "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

    9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
    "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

    10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
    "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

    11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

    12 My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

    13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

    14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
    "Stop acting like your father!"

    15. My mother taught me about ENVY
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

    16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
    "Just wait until we get home."

    17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"

    18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

    19. My mother taught me ESP.
    "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

    20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

    21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
    "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

    22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
    "You're just like your father."

    23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
    "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

    24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

    25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"
    If we always do what we've always done, we'll always get what we always got; and if nothing changes.....nothing changes.

    An elephant and a crocodile were swimming in the jungle, when the elephant spots a turtle sunning himself on a rock. The elephant walks over to the turtle, picks him up in his trunk and hurls him far into the jungle.
    "What did you do that for?" asked the crocodile.
    The elephant answered, "That turtle was the one that bit me almost fifty years ago."
    The crocodile said, "And you remembered him after all these years? Boy, you sure do have a good memory."
    "Yep," says the elephant. "Turtle recall."

    A guy runs into a bar and says, "Bartender, quick! Give me 20 shots of your best Scotch"!

    So the bartender lines up 20 shots of his best Scotch and watches this guy down one after the other.

    "Man," the bartender says, "I've never seen anyone drink shots that fast"!

    "You'd drink them that fast too if you have what I have," the guy says.

    "Oh my God," says the bartender, "what do you have"?

    "50 cents

    A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.

    "But officer", the man began, "I can explain"...

    "Quiet" snapped the officer! "I'm going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back".

    "But, officer, I just wanted to say"...

    "And I said be quiet! You're going to jail"!

    A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you, the chief's at his daughter's wedding so he'll be in a good mood when he gets back".

    "Don't count on it", answered the guy in the cell. "I'm the groom".
    Last edited by Mick; April 24th, 2021 at 11:14 AM.
    af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 5..done that one..now bimbling into year 6..tick ..done that one too..as he casually strolls into numero 7


    CHILDHOOD IS LIKE BEING DRUNK.EVERYONE REMEMBERS WHAT YOU DID,EXCEPT YOU.

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  5. #23
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    Re: April 18th

    Mae all - good tidings...

    A beautiful spring day here... awake most of the night worrying about whether I had screwed up some estate stuff.. will find out,,

    Thx, Mick, for your vision of of what is... evertything is always changing, right?

    Take care all, will be looking for you tomorrow-

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  7. #24
    Forum Subscriber. Lavande's Avatar

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    Re: April 18th

    Saturday evening greetings friends,

    Nice day here now we’re expecting 12 hrs of rain. Saved me from watering anyway, haha.
    Kept myself busy with indoor & outdoor projects, now I’m sitting.

    Cyn, I’m sure you’ll have a chance to amend the estate stuff, try not to worry
    I’m finding it hard to stay focused on any one project myself but i’m blaming it on the high pollen count. Some days I feel like a real nitwit.
    I will gladly share any of my plants with you so I hope things grow as planned.

    Pauly, how’s the allergens out your way this spring? I think I would be in even worse condition if it wasn’t for the mask wearing, honestly.
    I’m not anxious to jump into 100% openings either. I think i’m getting used to having my own space & may not be willing to give it up now.

    Mick, you accomplish so much in a day’s time you should give yourself a small break now & then. What would happen to you if you ran out of projects anyway? Haha
    My son does know his limitations & sitting quietly behind a desk is just not possible for him. He needs to be out & about & moving around ~ kind like you
    I’m sure he will settle into something that meets his needs, he always does. Good luck with the fuschia, I’ve never had much luck with them myself.
    I’ll have to remember your advice: Never miss a good chance to shut up!! LOL

    PQ, i’m guessing your laptop has met it’s end? Check in with me on Messenger so I know you’re OK. Hope your day was good!

    Hello to Det, must be busy

    Hello to Sam & Pie too.

    Have a nice night all.
    Lav
    AF since 03/26/09
    NF since 05/19/09
    Success comes one day at a time

  8. #25
    Registered User. treegirl's Avatar

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    Re: April 18th

    Mae all -

    Misty morning here, but the moisture is good... easier to take than that wild storm a few days ago.

    Pauly, open 100%? That must be just Vegas... in North Tahoe, where I am heading for the festival, there are still distance requirements... I guess the Governor just is letting each county decide what to do... good luck, and stay safe. Thank you for the kind words.

    Mick, thanks for the jokes! I love the sound of your books... it's so great when there is a series of books to get through...

    PPQ, hoping you are okay...

    Lav, I understand your desire to keep life quiet after everything opens up... it has made many places much more peaceful. And I think generally everyone is healthier... we'll see what happens. Hope your geraniums are doing well!

    Det, here's sending you more good vibes - hope you are getting more work!

    Sam, Pie and all others, wishing you the best--

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