Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 17

Thread: July 15

  1. #1
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    OK, Fess up time!
    Drank way too much at that concert...:x So all of your wonderful praise about how great I'm doing and how I've figured this whole moderating thing out is kinda down the toilet, guys. Sorry to disappoint you all. . We had an absolutely great time, but by 1:30 am, the 4 of us were pretty hammered. So that's the bad news.
    Good news: Had a great time! Was not blitzo or anything for the concert--it was the afterparty stuff that got me. I did not drink the Jager shots that were bought for me. Pushed them away... get a minor credit for that I think! Got up, showered, left by 9am and went out for a nice breakfast.
    Soooo...didn't stick to the sort of plan I had. Made a pretty conscious decision to "let it go!" and drink. Twas not moderating. Twas a little binge. Minus Jagermeister. (thank God!)
    Postponing my long run until tomorrow, as hubby is working today and I have the boys. I will be AF today to get back on track and prep for the 8-9 miler.
    So I'm wondering about the topa. I had upped it to 125. Had taken all my supps. Took double Kudzu. Guess if you make your mind up to party, you do it! I think the supps and the topa help me a lot more during the week, on days when I'm trying to just maintain the AF days, or drink minimally. If you're gonna go ahead and blow it, no amount of meds will stop you! (well, maybe anabuse, right Gina?:x )
    Through all of this, I keep learning. I'm actually not beating myself up. I would if I kept drinking for days like that, but I won't. Promise! I would if I blacked out during the concert or did something idiotic or something, but I didn't.
    I shall repeat, as I have before: to all the lurkers and newbies: I'm not a role model! You are not supposed to get drunk when you are moderating! Just got my own little thing going on here, and I lean on these wonderful people to keep me headed in the right direction! :d

    How is everyone else doing?

  2. #2
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    Guys, I'm wondering if I should stop posting under mod. Posting my drinking I think only helps me, not anyone else. Selfish. If it were more ideal, then it would help people.
    I just remember several people (won't name names, but can think of many) who say they can't look over here because of posts just like mine above. They don't need to see drunkenness and struggles, as it frustrates them in their own journey. Now I feel bad. Maybe I should delete it?
    Think I'll just continue to keep my diary, but maybe not blast my blowhorn so loud over here. Fessing up and my honesty with you guys and everyone around me is just what has gotten me so far with my progress. That's kinda been the buzz lately "honest old me!" , and I didn't realize it until you all started pointing it out! Just being me.
    Don't know what to do. Happy with how things are going for me these days! No one has had to put me to bed early in 5 months. Haven't missed a dinner or a kid's event... you catch my drift. No one taking bets on how many times I'll fall down before the night is over (I'm not making this sh*t up). And if I ever do go back there, well, we certainly know what to do to change things!
    So should I delete that post? This one too? Let me know, then I'll go back to caring less about me and more about you guys:d

  3. #3
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    My vote is don't delete. Post the truth. We all struggle with this journey daily. One never knows what words might contain power and hope for another person.
    Please understand, I am not encouraging drinking to get drunk or whatever, but it happens. And as you say, if the mind is on the path to get drunk, topa, supps and whatever won't matter.
    Love and Peace,
    Phil

  4. #4
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    I think hearing of others struggles makes us all not be so hard on ourselves. I certainly do not gleefully read the posts where people have not moderated or abstained like they would like but it does help me to see that I am not alone in this painful struggle.

  5. #5
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    Hi everybody! I don't think you should delete anything! And I don't think you should worry about what you post. I'm all for being open and honest. (Probably why I'm in trouble 1/2 the time... ) If someone can't handle reading the mods posts, that's their problem... Sorry if that sounds harsh... but alcohol is a very big part of this society... it's everywhere! Books, Movies, TV, Restaurants, Parties, BBQ's, Family gatherings,...pretty hard to avoid...:eek ...Dreams..:evil .:hat
    Not like you can play ostrich your whole life, and live in a bubble...:rolleyes ...GEEEZ...Just in case you're wondering how I feel about it!.... POST ON ....BECCA!:happy :P

    Ok, Well another pretty day in the neighborhood! Don't have to work till 4:00 tonight. Yesterday was brutal! But fruitful... ...:P :d Hope everyone's having a great weekend!....:d Judie

  6. #6
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    Thanks for the input, Phil, doymojo, and Judie!
    I'll leave it for now. Being a good girl so far today . Hubby working and has been gone all day, I took my supps, topa, etc., and am staying away from the booze! 1pm here Sat. Choosing to keep alcohol in our lives over here in modsville, just gotta stay vigilent, and when a slip like that happens, just regroup and carry on. NOT continue down a drunken bender as we did in the "old days". That's what lead me to the pain and suffering and problems... not one night here and there of a party.
    Still not endorsing anyone to get loaded! Please stick with your own plans! Each person, mod or abs, knows what they need to do for their own growth.

    Jude, glad you're still raking in the dough!

    Kathy, you're not moving til Tues, right?
    Janet, how are you doing? Everything OK? Mary and Mary Anne? Sophia? Must be a busy Sat. for everyone.
    Everybody show me how it's done!
    Becca:h

  7. #7
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    Hey Becca!

    I don't think that you should delete the posts at all! I have several reasons for thinking so, and you're going to hear them all!:lol

    MWO was originally developed for people who wanted to moderate. I think it is wonderful that we are diversifying into different groups with different goals and that we are all respectful of each others' goals!

    Most of us ARE LEARNING SOMETHING from your posts as well as our own!

    If people are having a hard time handling reading posts like yours, they don't have to come to this particular forum. I certainly don't want people to get discouraged, either, but everyone will have their own unique response to things. I personally would find it very discouraging if I thought everyone was doing great all the time but me!!

    Some people from the abs thread read over here about our triumphs and our tribulations. Sometimes our tribulations may reinforce their decision to stay abs!!!

    There will always be SOMEONE who doesn't like what is happening or disagrees with it, complains about it, etc. We can hear them out and see if it is appropriate to change and/or modify what we are doing. Unless someone is writing to you privately Becca, the things that I am reading here would indicate that others are getting a lot out of your posts-- myself included!!

    End of discussion/lecture/whatever you want to call it. Again, I appreciate your honesty!!

    At any rate, I'm doing okay here. Drank more than I wanted to drink last night, sounds like what I said yesterday and the day before. Same sh*t, different day, and THAT's why I'm moving to Absville Tuesday! Scared though!! I'm sure glad I put it out there on paper so I can't worm out of it without being mighty embarrassed!!. Just by doing saying it, I am ALREADY feeling all of these FEELINGS inside getting ready to come up and MAKE ME DEAL WITH THEM:eek I can just feel it!!!

    I'm trying to get a lot of work done around here this weekend--organizing my papers, getting caught up on paperwork, cleaning, etc., so that when I start abs, I can pretty much just be doing regular things to maintain, and I can devote time to myself and staying alcohol free. Just trying to get prepared! I am anxious!

    Anyway, thanks for listening.
    Hugs to All!
    Kathy:d :d

  8. #8
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    I am checking in late here for today. Have only read the last post - Becca's so I apologize. More later..

    Oh -- Bec..."Sorry to disappoint you all. "-- have you not learned by now -- no disappointment from any MWOer. You are still doing better than before.

    "Guess if you make your mind up to party, you do it!" I think that is true something says -- go ahead -- OK.

    No biggie -- you know what to do...

    See Kath thought I was originally a cynical bitch (still am) but you are tyring!! ...what else can the universe ask?

    More later...Much Luv~Chrysa

    Oh -- my report -- mmm-- it is Sat night at 8PM. Have had 2 giant wine/fresh fruit/seltzers (homemade)-- yum -- & feel a buzz -- which I realize is why we all want to moderate & not abstain & it is understandable...hope I don't get hooked into these boards or chat tonight -- not good -- just want to go to bed -- listen to CD

    Had this thought today -- perhaps if I need a check on my mod drinking I could plan a few days of topa (knowing the downside for me) ..as a kind of kick-start--- BECAUSE I think overall I am still doing better than before MWO

    AND you are too -- right Becc??
    Luv~Chrysa

  9. #9
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    Becca -- don't delete & don;t stop posting --please. I feel from my little time on the boards & even had this thought today --General Discussion can be where we are or should be careful of what we say, share, etc. & shoudl be because we want others to know & benefit from MWO. But in Modsville or Absville--- that is sacred territory. That is just what I was thinking. What do you all think?

    Becca -- Please don't stop posting here. I really think we ...oh gosh.. the tears again...are helping each other ( in all the forums) ...but especially those who COMMIT to residing Modsville or Absville for awhile. We grow & heal alot. Do you think? or not?

    What do you all think.. OK I know I am a nutcase.. don worry boud id :smokin

  10. #10
    Registered User.

    Join Date;
    24th June, 2009.
    Posts;
    0.
    Post Thanks / Like

    July 15

    Becca -- what do you all do --your hubby & you -- lots of concerts -- are you in the entertainment business??

Similar Threads

  1. Army Thread July 8th July 2012
    By JackieClaire in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 101
    Last Post: July 8th, 2012, 03:15 PM
  2. Weekly AA Thread - July 25 - July 31
    By retteacher in forum Monthly Abstinence
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: July 29th, 2011, 07:01 AM
  3. Weekly AA Thread - Week of July 5 - July 11
    By Doggygirl in forum Monthly Abstinence
    Replies: 58
    Last Post: July 12th, 2010, 09:09 PM
  4. Fly Into July 30 Day Abs Event Starts - July 1
    By Guest in forum General Discussion
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: June 30th, 2006, 06:19 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •