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  1. #1
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    Please help! Binge/heavy drinking 8 weeks into pregnancy

    Hello all...I am relieved to have found this site, in that I feel like you all will likely be less judgmental than some of the other places I've looked. Long story short, about a week and a half ago I found out I am pregnant. I am 38 years old, and my husband and I have not been using birth control for many years, and frankly I thought getting pregnant was an impossibility. Apparently, that's not the case. Clearly, I have not touched a drop since finding out. Actually since about four days before I found out (so two weeks).

    I believe I am about 11 weeks in at this point. My last normal pd was the end of July, then we went on vacation in the Keys (drank gobs) and then in August I had what I thought was a normal pd, though only about two days in duration. Long story short, when I only had slight spotting in Sept and my pd never really came (despite cramping), I began to think something was up and took a pregnancy test that I was shocked to see was positive. At first, I was very excited and happy, but then when I began thinking back about all the binge drinking I have done during what, according to the Internet (which is the devil), is absolutely the most critical point in development, I am utterly paralyzed with fear and remorse. To the point where I can't eat or sleep and am pretty much driving my poor husband crazy and spend essentially all my time on the laptop or phone. He is very concerned for my mental health, which I understand. Two of three nights on Labor Day weekend were BIG drinking nights and then two nights while away at a conference in what would have been the beginning of the eighth week of pregnancy were horrible...shots, wine, beer, martinis, everything. There were a few other nights of otherwise heavy drinking (3-4 rum drinks) as well, which is not all that abnormal for us. I am just utterly disgusted with myself and wracked with fear and panic. Constant crying and fervent prayer.

    I have my first Obgyn appt on Wednesday, so we will know more then. I honestly would have NEVER endangered this child if I had known, but my pds have typically been fairly irregular, and frankly I thought I was entering menopause. I had absolutely NO morning sickness or symptoms whatsoever until the missed second period in Sept. when my boobs began to get sore. Sorry if this is TMI, by the way.

    I understand I'm certainly not the first woman to have ever experienced something like this, but I suppose I'm just looking for some reassurance from people who may have gone through it as well. While I have to admit that termination of the pregnancy out of this fear has crossed my mind, it is not really an option. I also understand that I need to see the doctor and get an ultrasound before I will know any more. Any advice/support you might provide would be greatly appreciated.
    Last edited by Boccpio; October 4th, 2015 at 09:39 AM.

  2. #2
    Forum Subscriber. NoraC's Avatar

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    Hey there. So sorry for what you are going thru. I am sure there will be more people coming along that have experience with this.
    Honestly, I think that talking to your Dr is important. I have known people personally and have read on here that have gone thru this.the baby was always perfect.

    Try to relax and stop googling. That is going to make it worse. My thoughts are with you.
    "Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
    ..........
    AF - 7-27-15

  3. #3
    Registered User. YouKayBee's Avatar

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    Hey Boccpio

    All I can say is that by not drinking now you are giving your baby the best chance of being healthy. The alcohol you drank before you knew can't be undone, but the future can be changed and I'm sure the health care people will help you.

    I've never had a baby, but I would also guess that stress and worry isn't going to be good for your baby.
    I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

    Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

    AF date 22/07/13

  4. #4
    Forum Subscriber. NoSugar's Avatar

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    Hi, Boccpio

    Welcome! Unfortunately, I don't know the screen name of of the woman but shortly after I joined, she posted a story very much like yours. She also was so full of regret and beating herself up. I think she posted for awhile and then disappeared. However, she very thoughtfully came back after several months and posted that she was mom to a happy, healthy little girl! I hope you can let go of what can't be changed and move forward, enjoying your pregnancy and doing all that you can to ensure your sweet baby's good development. And congratulations on your pregnancy! You're embarking on one of life's greatest adventures and you're doing it sober! I hope you stick around. NS


  5. #5
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    Thank you very much, I intend to no matter what happens. I don't ever want to take another drink after all this.

  6. #6
    Registered User. paulywogg's Avatar

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    My mom drank and smoked throughout all of her 8 pregnancies, we all turned out perfect except my sister has downs syndrome but it runs in our family anyways, please try not to worry and stop googling,keep us posted on how the docs appointment goes,glad you're here
    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink

    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me"
    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

  7. #7
    Registered User. treetops's Avatar

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    Dear Boccpio
    Welcome to this site. I had a similar experience and found out I was pregnant after years of drinking heavily. I was also a recovering bulimic. I was about 7 weeks pregnant at the time and I was 41 years old - complete surprise and unplanned (but not if you think how babies get conceived!). I was sick with worry and convinced my baby would have FAS. I stopped drinking immediately once I had the news of my pregnancy and made sure I had the very best care for my pregnancy. And that was not expensive at all - the best care is not always specialists and having expensive tests - it was great support from my GP, I did have a ObyG and a midwife - as well as my partner. During my pregnancy I was really healthy and had lots of exercise (bushwalking, climbing) and even travelled overseas before it got too late. I perhaps didn't eat enough but I ate very healthy food and I looked good. That was almost 18 years ago and my girl will be off to university next year. She is beautiful, intelligent and a lovely kind young woman. She is the very best thing that happened ever to me.
    I also breast-fed for 2 years but I confess I started drinking now and again , slowly after the birth. That crept up badly again after I stopped breast-feeding her but almost 3 years ago I finally quit AL. And my daughter has been a wonderful (but not essential as it was for me) part of this.
    The reason I have shared part of my story with you is to give you the very best hope. Many women who were heavy drinkers before pregnancy find they go off the taste and effect of AL while pregnant.So that also makes its easier to quit. Whatever, you must not drink now. Get all the support if quitting is hard. And treasure this AF time and your pregnancy - because its an amazing future you are going into.
    Last edited by treetops; October 4th, 2015 at 02:07 PM.

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  9. #8
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    Thank you all for the replies...had my first scan this morning, and it turns out I am only 5w 3 days along. I quit drinking entirely 2.5 weeks ago now, so that's great news. I also shared my concerns with my dr, and she was very reassuring that I needn't be worried and told me quite frankly to stay off the internet. My primary concern at this point is that there was no heartbeat detected, but they said it is too early yet. I will know more in a couple of weeks.

  10. #9
    Registered User. treetops's Avatar

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    That's great news. Pretty hard for pregnant Mums to stay off the internet! You are very welcome to stay on MWO for support with staying sober.

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  12. #10
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    Hi, I can only report a friend of min drank and took benzo's into her 3rd mo and baby was fine - and smart as a whip.
    Enlightened by MWO

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