Never a bother LS. Give yourself a smile and a big hug and know that you are right there. Glad your OK, imho feel free to be as open and honest as you feel comfortable with. :hug: We're all here walking forward together.
Printable View
Never a bother LS. Give yourself a smile and a big hug and know that you are right there. Glad your OK, imho feel free to be as open and honest as you feel comfortable with. :hug: We're all here walking forward together.
Hey LS,
Good to see you back. Get back on the horse and keep on trucking. It isn't day 1 it is more like day 101 - 1
Hiya kuya,
I would like to apologise to you - because I felt I was rude on your thread about the 3 principles :( I noticed that you hadn't been posting (& probably busy with life!) But worried I had upset you. I have benefited so much as have many others from the work of Mr Sydney Banks. Though when I was researching to find out more about practicioner in the UK I found a company called innate health Personal Development Programme | Innate Health - all good so far :) but when I learned it was taught in schools in England I got worried & sad because some unkind adults hurt young people. And young people don't experience hurt in rational thinking but feelings of shame, fear & come from the amygdala sometimes - a part of the brain not strictly speaking controlled by a person. I would never wish for anyone to be hurt ever but as it does sadly occur I'd tell any young person to tell a trusted adult & not your thoughts create your reality. I am so afraid in certain circumstances this could place a child, young person or vulnerable adult in danger. This is a very scary concept (you don't control your self) but a very helpful & resourceful part of ourselves when in danger or faced with trauma. Sadly & Gratefully this part of me is a bit overdeveloped due to past experiences & necessary to surviving them. I am & will get better (have already done alot) & will do more - the album 'You've come along way baby' rings true x Keep on keeping on xxx I was so disturbed & wracked with guilt I couldn't even speak about what was wrong at Christmas time - then in only two months I accidentally blurted out the real me & true feelings about everything that matters to me in the Army (sorry for freaking people out) but a big & massive thankyou myo x
I may be referencing the wrong author but I have to remember "what I am is good enough, if I would only be it openly" Carl Rodgers
There is no need to apologise and, in any event, I was unaware of any of this.
As you said I have been away from MWO and very busy with other stuff.
My experience with 3Ps is now grounded such that I do not feel the need to convince others. Each in their own time, or way.
I wish you well LS xx
Hi Lost Soul, how are you doing?Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Soul
I remember that post on the army thread, I can only speak personally but I am glad you felt strong enough to share with us. IMO it can only be helpful to get the truth of how we are feeling out there, even the act of writing things down is a part of the healing process, at least that's how it is for me. So don't feel you are freeking people out stop you, for I would guess nearly all of us here have a past, we didn't just get to where were because we liked the taste of booze so much.
Hi Kuya,
I'm so glad I didn't upset or distress you. I think Sydney Bank's work is so helpful & felt bad to disagree with it because of this but also know it didn't reach me completely or sit right for some reason but wasn't quite ready to consider or discuss why at the time.
I really liked those clips on you tube - they make so much sense & am glad they work for some people but I just don't think they quite 'fit me' right, if that makes sense? I think I used to gain alot of comfort from the idea of letting past hurt go & focusing on today - but don't quite have the faith in that idea for myself anymore.
Carpe Diem (2001) a gay poem I wrote ages ago, lol
Time moves so fast.
Slow down so one may
Breathe & see.
Nothing in life is constant,
Put no trust in the future.
The past is a collection of chosen memories,
That has no bearing on ourselves
Or our future.
Now is all that matters,
Life is so fragile.
Live every moment,
Of every day,
As if it's your last.
Life wil dance with with you,
If you let it.
Cringing writing that, (although it's rubbish & poor for someone who likes writing) because for me, it's so unreal & in denial. I can't pretend it's that easy :( I know I might have it wrong & just need to give it more time, but have reservations about if it is my true path.
I can't help feel my true path really lies in my 'pain & suffering' sort of. But not in succumbing to it but conquering it & learning to use it for good. This is a very dark & old writing, when I didn't have a way out but it does reflect half of my problem/solution (whichever way you look at it? :))
One moment (1998)
One moment it takes to change the future,
To make things matter, to make them count.
In just a breath, a life can change,
For better, for worse or to end forever.
Is it care or chance in that split second,
That brings us together or tears us apart?
In one nerveless moment you're less than able
Or do things you never thought you could.
But that's the point, the darker side,
When people don't think they make mistakes.
When things are said they can't come back
And things you do you can't undo.
That in a moment a life's destroyed.
In one single moment you find something bad.
In that one moment you so regret,
I'm just one moment you lose so much.
The way life is, it's so unjust.
How can one make such big decisions?
Just takes one moment to push a button,
Just one final moment to destroy us all.
I know, very doom & gloom only & it used to be a curse, the way I am, to feel deeply. But I know in my heart it is a blessing if I can manage it without zoning out with AL. So many people before me have done this so hope to be able to in the future.
Hi Tabbers,
Thankyou so much for coming to find me x I feel a bit wobbly about talking about big stuff but also know the why is/was for a good reason was a good one (even though I don't feel like it now) I think sometimes I have to make a choice as to who I am speaking to. I felt bad that I might hurt people already affected by suicide & they'd think I was suggesting they could do more when they couldn't :( no one can. But I read & was scared anyone reading with thoughts about hurting themselves too scared or frightened to post might feel like 'permission' was given by the suggestion that it was the right way out for someone, in case they thought it was their fault for feeling sad. I decided to speak to anyone there, in that place & (where I was) & ignore everyone else. & suggest they always have hope x Going back 19 years to come back to today was a bit too much for me but glad I did. It was nice another member chatted to me like a person & not some broken thing (thanks Satz). Just in case it helped someone, it would be worth all the pain x
Don't worry about 3Ps not sitting right for you. That is not unusual. Each in their own way and time :)
Being gross & marking my place x
Will be okay x
LS I lapsed for a couple days. But I'm back too. Glad you are too. I keep in mind that unless some mix of drugs will kill me I always have a way back. Welcome back!!!