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    Thread: So lost

    1. #21
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      Re: So lost

      Thanks all. Given Benzos are processed by the liver she did not want to do it unless I was really in a bad way. The unregulated supplants is why she is against most-- she says with abstinence the liver heals itself-- usually within 60 to 90 days. Now staying abstinent will be the work but I booked a therapy appointment and am journaling plus here so hopefully... I did sleep a few winks was more active today so am thinking maybe I'll get more. I was so in my head! I don't smoke, eat clean and have no health issues except hereditary blood pressure elevation -- well controlled and low thyroid. Have lost 23 pounds in the past year with good diet. Exercise a work in progress! So hopefully I'll be ok. Had I known my enzymes were even a little off I may still have had the 4 binges so who knows but I pray I won't again. Thanks so much for the help. I have a 11 year old boy and must do it for my family as well as myself.

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      Re: So lost

      Took 30 days for me the last time to come back from "flagged" elevations in AST/ALT/Bupropion. Been normal for months. Its free here so I test often. If you are like me you can recover quickly despite the insults we did to our body. Motivation is a huge part of success so having a boy should give you some motive. You are not isolating then. The time tickers are between 24 and 76 hours and could be longer if you are not tapering. You sound okay and I'm happy for you!

      I would suggest a CBT course even if online if you can get them where you live. SMART is another alternative (give it a google). Helps manage anxiety and depression. Mindfulness is the more polite way of saying CBT. Sounds like you have it well in gear Happy for you! I'll find some nice links if you want that changed me entirely.
      "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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    5. #23
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      Re: So lost

      Thank you. I am a horrid sleeper anyway -- I think melatonin was only recommended short term--I asked the pharmacist as well and he seemed to think it was okay to take long term. Honestly I do not like taking medications I do not need so I hope I'll get back on track with physical activity and no alcohol. Things that numbed me depressed my sleep and I think I could not put myself to sleep naturally. I practice good sleep hygiene but what I was doing to myself was screwing it up big time. I like the one on one CBT but support groups I am all for. I now have had no alcohol for 2 days-- I just decided I was at a level where the beer was as low as I could go and better stop. I would drink a combination when I binge-- a little hard, beer, wine. When you binge you know it's off to the races and often you don't know how much you really drank so there's that. I used to get migraines and had to take some pretty heavy duty stuff that was hard on the liver but I always tested fine-- wasn't drinking much then. I started after my mom passed away after a prolonged hospital stay and I started to care for my dad who was a depressive and emotionally abusive. He even told my sibling once he did not care if our health was ruined by him not going into assisted care, he cared about himself. I hired him a caregiver and talk to him very infrequently now. I handle his business affairs as I promised my mom I would but we have no relationship. He drives the anxiety up and my son suffers from some anxiety issues even at 11 where he gets very spun up, doubts himself etc. he went to group and individual therapy and does well when he is not around people who are prone to lots of emotionalism and unhinged behavior-- I can't really take him to my dads because it is a negative to him and myself. My priest says my obligation is first to the family I made with my husband but I know I feel some guilt about not having a relationship with my dad because my mom would have wanted that and my sister has to shoulder a lot emotionally from him. It has really hurt a close relationship that we had. I know that's a ton of info but I'll be dealing with all that in therapy and to stay quit so I needed to define or at least try. The withdrawal on separate occasions scared me but not enough until this last time. It was time to get real-- hope it is the beginning of the great sober birthday!

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    7. #24
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      Re: So lost

      Congratulations on 2 days off the turps Tidegirl! that is really great work. Day 3 tomorrow. Go for it and do what you've gotta do. Throw in heaps and heaps of self luuuurvin'. k? K.

      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

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      Re: So lost

      Quote Originally Posted by Tidegirl View Post
      Thanks all. Given Benzos are processed by the liver she did not want to do it unless I was really in a bad way. The unregulated supplants is why she is against most-- she says with abstinence the liver heals itself-- usually within 60 to 90 days. Now staying abstinent will be the work but I booked a therapy appointment and am journaling plus here so hopefully... I did sleep a few winks was more active today so am thinking maybe I'll get more. I was so in my head! I don't smoke, eat clean and have no health issues except hereditary blood pressure elevation -- well controlled and low thyroid. Have lost 23 pounds in the past year with good diet. Exercise a work in progress! So hopefully I'll be ok. Had I known my enzymes were even a little off I may still have had the 4 binges so who knows but I pray I won't again. Thanks so much for the help. I have a 11 year old boy and must do it for my family as well as myself.
      I don't think some docs fully understand alcoholism. If you haven't ever been prescribed val before,It has been far superior to anything for stopping the anxiety for me. I thought at least they could give you 5 tabs .That being if anyone is serious on giving up . My last 30 x 5mg tabs of val lasted 7 weeks which was pointless as on and off AL with Benzos in the mix. That's not really where you want to head.I've just done 8 days AL & NT and also Benzo free (Wasn't hooked on them)

      Day 3 will be the test. stay strong and if you feel anxiety or anything wrong, prob best to get to ER . That's where val comes in handy however + smoking increases anxiety too
      Last edited by Neo; May 18th, 2017 at 03:51 AM.

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      Re: So lost

      My mom died of lung cancer so I don't smoke and never would-- she had an operation to remove her tumor and never went home. That probably started the slide as I described above. Each day should get better -- the racing thoughts and anxiety were shame and fear induced I think -- I will work on it in therapy for sure. Thanks all

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      Re: So lost

      Today has been a strange one. No drinking but extreme fatigue due to lack of sleep. Hopefully that will soon change. Feeling very bloated as well-- I've lost weight since I began the binging but have a bit of a pot still. Wondering if that will go with staying off the sauce. This summer we are scheduled to go overseas and I'd hate to ruin that by being out of shape. This may give me something to focus on along with therapy. Idle hands and all. Hope everyone is well

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      Re: So lost

      Hang in the Tidegirl - once you get past the first week you will begin to feel better.
      Can you give yourself rest today? I found day 3 really tough and had some gastro issues for a few
      weeks. I am sure it has been said, but I will repeat - eat a lot during the first few weeks.
      It really helps with any cravings.

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    17. #29
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      Re: So lost

      Quote Originally Posted by Tidegirl View Post
      Today has been a strange one. No drinking but extreme fatigue due to lack of sleep. Hopefully that will soon change. Feeling very bloated as well-- I've lost weight since I began the binging but have a bit of a pot still. Wondering if that will go with staying off the sauce. This summer we are scheduled to go overseas and I'd hate to ruin that by being out of shape. This may give me something to focus on along with therapy. Idle hands and all. Hope everyone is well
      Its always strange, day 3 especially for me has been the strangest through every experience. Mirtazapine was given to me due to weight loss and I needed to get an appetite back my BMI was off. I was under weight.

      You're doing well. Day 3 is always weird so try to keep preoccupied. I always have used hobbies like cooking when I hit that point.
      "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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    19. #30
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      Re: So lost

      Just got my son and his friend home from school-- we are doing a BBQ for his birthday tonight and the kids are playing basketball etc. we ran into the store to get ice and so many people were buying beer and wine and looking so happy for the weekend. I wonder if I will always look at people who drink versus not drinking so acutely or will I one day not notice it at all ? I hope the latter. I feel physically pretty good except for being very tired. You were right about the food though-- I have been really hungry and have wanted to eat all day! Though I did control myself -- I had a small cup of ice cream and I haven't done that in at least 13 years-- I was pregnant when I did!! I haven't craved sugar which is surprising as I know AL has a ton of it-- I was not diabetic at my last physical 5 months ago-- luckily not even close -- that had been a fear of mine. I wish I knew how long it would take my liver to go to normal. She did not tell me the numbers-- just said slight elevation. But she suggested I do 90 days without so that if it remained elevated we could probably rule out alcohol as the cause. My mother had a condition called primary biliary cirrhosis-- which is not caused by alcohol( and my mom did not drink) but is some thing caused by a back up at the bile duct -- it can be hereditary and cause the numbers to be bad. I guess we will know in 3 months. I hate having any issue-- especially when I know that it's my "fault". We are going to Ireland this summer and I'm a bit afraid of that. Last time we went I did not have issues so a few beers was fine but I know it can never be like that again!

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