So lost

[Tidegirl]

I am posting because I need support. I don't drink daily but I've become a binge drinker. To the point where when I stop I go through hell. I've never had a seizure but I sweat and feel so panicked. I'm afraid I'm going to die. When I stop drinking I usually do it cold turkey. But that cause things to be even worse it seems. Yesterday I tried to wean down with beer. I'm not sure what the proper amount to wean with would even be. I just need to stop and stay stopped. Will it get better? Can I make it?

[Orimus]

Welcome @Tidegirl. Yes, you can make it. It's hard for most of us to see it at the beginning but yes, you can make it. Don't know too much about tapering but did find a reference. How To Taper Off Alcohol There are people here who have gone that route so I'm sure they can give better advice than me on that. I would suggest a) As you're tapering off alcohol focus on tasting it. (I know for me the taste became just an afterthought.) b) Keep your quit date in mind, your date of freedom. c) Keep checking in on good days and bad.

Check in at the Newbies Nest (link in signature) if you haven't already where there are plenty of people who can help you find your way through these first days. The Tool Box (link also in sig) is another good resource with techniques that others have used to rewrite that drinking script. I don't have the link handy, but I'm sure someone will, but when you reach that day of freedom you might want to start keeping yourself accountable by posting in Newbie's Nest Roll Call.

Congratulations on taking this first step, we're glad to have you with us. We're walking this road together and it does get so much better.

[abcowboy]

Hi Tidegirl! It's great to see you back and having another go at this! Can't add much more to what Orimus has already said, and you've probably already heard the drill, read, post, read.... there really is strength in numbers!

[Neo]

First Thing is to go to Doc straight away and get full blood test. Let him know whats going on, then get some valium. Only safe way if going cold Turkey. You don't want seizures or extra anxiety. 5mg tabs should be fine. Quit all sugar, coffee , Drink plenty of water and if you smoke,stopping that for a day , it will help ease anxiety/blood pressure alot too and you may get away without the valium but you want something on standby

[Tidegirl]

First Thing is to go to Doc straight away and get full blood test. Let him know whats going on, then get some valium. Only safe way if going cold Turkey. You don't want seizures or extra anxiety. 5mg tabs should be fine. Quit all sugar, coffee , Drink plenty of water and if you smoke,stopping that for a day , it will help ease anxiety/blood pressure alot too and you may get away without the valium but you want something on standby

I haven't had a drink in almost 13 hours. Hopefully I can tough it out and things will get better. Feeling so unmotivated to do anything except the bare minimum . I have no appetite at all and have been drinking lots of water-- no sleep at all which isn't helping things. I feel like more than anything that I have an intense fear of what will come next. I know logically that I should be much better with each passing day but it's tough to see the light at the end of the tunnel

[Orimus]

Be kind to yourself @Tidegirl. Right now all you should worry about is what to do other than drink. I've recently been thinking on the stimulus/pause/response cycle and the learned response. Drinking is our learned response so when we hit that stimulus (trigger) we run the learned response (script) instead of pausing. Right now you are in that pause (at 100 days I still have to think about hitting that pause.) where you are looking and learning to rewrite the script. Relax, breath and allow yourself to take it slow for now. No need to be hasty as you increase the likelihood of tripping. Embrace the moment for all the ickiness right now as you'll appreciate so much more as the days improve and your brain heals. Hope something there helps.

[Tidegirl]

Be kind to yourself @Tidegirl. Right now all you should worry about is what to do other than drink. I've recently been thinking on the stimulus/pause/response cycle and the learned response. Drinking is our learned response so when we hit that stimulus (trigger) we run the learned response (script) instead of pausing. Right now you are in that pause (at 100 days I still have to think about hitting that pause.) where you are looking and learning to rewrite the script. Relax, breath and allow yourself to take it slow for now. No need to be hasty as you increase the likelihood of tripping. Embrace the moment for all the ickiness right now as you'll appreciate so much more as the days improve and your brain heals. Hope something there helps.

Thanks Orimus--one never realized how long a day is until they are up constantly with no sleep and just spinning thoughts. I truly hope that I can ride this out. I guess I am feeling such anxiety because I'm alone right now and fear having a seizure. I find myself constantly checking the statistics on how many people do have them and trying to reassure myself that I won't -- which is useless and is causing me to obsess and feel guilt and fear even more.

[empyr3al]

Depending on the amount that could be dangerous. Just FYI.

[Tidegirl]

Depending on the amount that could be dangerous. Just FYI.

Are you referring to the amount of possible seizures or time alone? I know that all of it could be dangerous. The anxiety and lack of sleep feel very real but the physical stuff like diarrhea etc has gone. I even got some housework done to try to avert my mind. I then wrote a note about what I was feeling at the highest point of desperation as I want to pull it out if I ever feel like drinking again. Every hour farther away from the drinking will be better I think. At least I pray so.

[Wildflowers]

@Tidegirl Really glad you've joined us, but not for the reason. How are you doing today? I've used beer to help with withdrawals before. Learned about it here: How To Taper Off Alcohol However, I don't believe or prescribe to the rest of their program. For an alcoholic 100% abstinence is best. I've been a binge and daily drinker. It only gets worse as you may realize now. There is a kindling effect. Makes each withdrawal harder. https://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publicati...22-1/25-34.pdf

Hopefully, your through the worst part of withdrawal. Usually, 3-5 days. No one can answer whether or not someone will have seizures. If you've experienced DT's or seizures before, your chances grow. However, in my experiences and those I've known, it's relatively low. Many of us understand these fears, feelings and thoughts. Which contribute to feeling overwhelmed. My understanding of fears, afraid of losing something we have, or not gaining something we want. Alkies and addicts in general struggle more then the rest of population, imo. They do get better and can be managed with recovery time.

Yes, you can do this one day at a time. Do your best to stay in today. The Now. Future tripping, can trip us up. We are stronger together. Orimus explanation about learned stimulus is spot on imo.

Hope you'll join us in some other threads. Support is crucial for most of us. Especially, early on in your quit. As mentioned: Newbies Nest under Just Starting Out. Under General Discussion: Cattleman Cafe 24 hrs Club. We pledge to go 24hrs without drinking. Anyone can go without drinking for 24 hrs. Also Under General Discussion: Express Your Gratitude. Many people find the practice of cultivating an Attitude of Gratitude helpful. Hope to see you there. Please ck in when you have time. People care and want to encourage and support you. Hope your feeling a bit better!...