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    1. #31
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      We get the pm storm threat just seems to make it more humid. If I sleep during the day I'd never be able to do so at night! I'm Italian by heritage so I usually don't get burned but even I did today! On my thighs of all things! The rain looks crazy in Buffalo and in IL. I will say that this heat may put me down tonight! Tried to get a few things done re our trip like get a new suitcase for my son and stop papers etc. next need to call credit card companies or they will put a hold on my cards. Child is playing baseball in the morning so I will need him to start drinking water. He's a preteen and unfortunately if he gets tired he has trouble controlling his emotions to a sometime extreme amount ( I worry about this as my father is just crazy-- tantrums, unable to do much for himself and very entitled and when I see the over emotionalism I get afraid he will turn into that). He talked back to me today and I had to remind him several
      Times to do basic chores so he had TV and video privileges taken away for the next couple days. So I will need to plan things for him that are cool after ball! Going to see a concert tomorrow night so hopefully I will continue to feel better. Had to speak again with my dads caretaker that is a thief-- she is a bullshitter of the highest order but not that smart -- my dad was missing cash ( hard to prove whereabouts-- I monitor all the rest of his stuff but cash is hard to track) he never should have had 8000 cash in the home and all of a sudden she comes up with 2 new cars? I want the cops to question her re
      Where she got the money but he'd had to be able to let her go without falling apart and I'm not sure if he's equipped plus I'd have get a new person in one week while I live 210 miles away and am trying to care for a family. Stressful. But I won't succumb!

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    3. #32
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      @Tidegirl. I've only had two sunburns in my life, and I lived life out doors in some insanity while I was a pool guy. So a decade of direct sunlight and sometimes (in a new pool the walls are shiny so its like a convection oven and there is often one hot spot that hits nearly 180 to 200F). Why I am curious about genes and heritage as I am dutch (some are white, some are darker) but have constant tanned skin tone like an italian. Yeah it was complicated when I went to the netherlands. Making sure my bank knew and all sorts of crazy stuff. Preteen boys tend to grow out of that as when I was 10 my life was insane. I turned out pretty good other than crazy addiction but until recently maintained work. Holy sh2q34 about the cars and cash, I don't know what to say. Maybe he gave it to her in a "state". Wow you are putting yourself under a tremendous amount of stress.
      "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

    4. #33
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      I think it was hidden in his closet and when she put his clothing up she took it. He is forgetful but she really plays it up. That would be the issue if we were to get the law involved-- thryd ask him where it was last and he'd have no clue. My sister could tell them where she thought it was but he has moved things before so-- who knows? I'd like to get rid of her because I know she has access to his social security card from taking him to dr visits and I feel it's just a matter of time before she applies for cards or something in his name. I'm going to have to do a credit check but if I have to tell him why he will lose it-- they will send it to him and she would intercept it.

      As to my child-- my in laws are both alcoholics and I think he's seen enough alcohol behavior to not drink-- he never says why but I think him being exposed to that as he was really young before I had any issues may lead to him not drinking. He does suffer from migraines so I'm hoping he can get them under control because pain medications and anti anxiety are down the rabbit hole for many! Best way to thwart that is never do it. Thanks for chatting-- going to try to sleep!

    5. #34
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      One last comment is that when hiding behavior begins. Who knows he might still have it somewhere. Speculation can become dangerous. And yes find another care giver if you don't trust this one. I have lost and found liquor all over, often times frustrating which is different than 8000$ USD but it does happen. Identity theft is real. Here we have health cards and social insurance card and they are required as its a country business so fraud is scary.

      About your son, often alcoholism or addiction is genetic or so we believe. Do you see him notice it or is he indifferent to it?

      Get some sleep, nice chatting.
      Last edited by empyr3al; July 13th, 2017 at 11:53 PM.
      "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

    6. #35
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      I'm sure he notices some things. He's said many times he just doesn't think it's worth it. I was a victim of identity theft and it is a bitch. Fortunately though a company that had granted s fraudulent card to someone called me at my credit report number and wrote to my address on file when no payment was made so I quickly put a fraud alert on my report. I actually think she's very unintelligent ( she's barely literate and fits a rural stereotype of the type of misinformed person who votes against interest)-- anything traceable I have caught her in-- before much happened-- but cash is a whole different issue--no traceable usually. I think she's aware I'm onto her. My sister is an issue in this too-- she's really passive aggressive and scared of my dads tantrums or folks not liking her but she certainly wants me to be involved!

    7. #36
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      Only comment. Dont let one of your family members let him touch it. I'll get more into what you said after I try some more sleep.
      "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

    8. #37
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      Not sure what you meant by that-- we would have to drive any investigation of her-- he's in such a state he never could. I haven't seen him in awhile so I could not tell them where anything had been but I do have evidence that she wrote herself a check about a year ago because I have access and am on his bank accounts which I monitor for that purpose on line. My sister has no access to those accounts. Due to distance my dad has signed just enough checks so that the caregiver can pay the few bills he has-- many are on autodraft but there can always be emergencies and looking into what checks are written is very easy. Since writing a check that is invalid of over $500 is a felony it would be a breeze to get her. He also spends no cash because he's a shut in-- he should never have had that much hoarded there but he's a depression area baby and I understand that behavior is pretty common ( his twin sister when she died had like 20K hidden all over through her house in strange places). I'm not sure if I mentioned this but before I retired to raise our son-- I was a lawyer so I'm pretty familiar with the ins and outs of criminal procedure-- that's why cash stealing is so hard to control-- it's really a he said she said thing. However since I know she wrote a check to my sister for one of my dads cars ( he no longer drives), tracing the source of the money (I.e. Was there a large cash deposit involved right before she wrote that check) and what is her reported income on taxes each year ( I suspect she doesn't report or under reports to the IRS as she does odd jobs-- cleaning houses, my dad etc). That is why I want the cops to question her. It is stressful though with both my sis and me being long distance from him. He refuses to go to a home -- but in our experience with those from my grandma-- the nursing home folks steal too! I think they justify it to themselves by saying that they care for the elderly and their family doesn't or they'd have taken them in. There's a huge series of elder abuse laws due to this mentality in the U.S. It's truly sad. Hope you got some sleep-- I'm about to get going to the baseball diamond!

    9. #38
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      Wow I will get into what you said later. I was talking about your son in that last comment. I got into liquor because of a cousin 10 years older than me that was drunk and a braggard. "Be a man, have a drink with me".
      "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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    11. #39
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      So sorry-- I thought you meant don't led dad get near this thing! My husband is Irish and his huge family all drinks. I have asked him not to do so around us for the reason you say-- kids model what they see!! Great point. That was one reason I wanted to stop-- poor modeling. Hope your day is good. As for the other, I just have to think about it but as my Deacon said-- my first priority is my husband and son. My dad is secondary as bad as that may sound. Off to a concert ( if I told you which one you'd probably laugh me off this site!)

    12. #40
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      Re: Is anyone available to help?

      Last concert I went to was U2 and many people mock me for liking such a huge band when a ton of my friends are aspiring artists and would rather me spend time with them. I really could care less if its Justin Beiber or some other pop band. Music is music.
      "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." - Albert Einstein

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