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    1. #11
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      narilly's Avatar

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      Hey Road, how are you doing? I hope your hangin in there. Come join us on the Loamers thres under monthly abstinence. It's a good place to hang out.
      Don't drink today ok?

      Your story is amazing. You have been through so much.
      Xo
      Narilly

      "Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
      "You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"

      AF April 12, 2014

    2. Thanks Roadside thanked for this post
    3. #12
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      NotHappyHourHappyLife's Avatar

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      Hello, Roadside- just dropping in on your journal to introduce myself.

      I'm Patty, and I was a single mom when I get out of the Army- I was fortunate that, at the time, I had no alcohol addiction.

      Congratulations on your commitment to sobriety. You have 2 gorgeous reasons to stay alcohol free.
      "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
      so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."

    4. Thanks Roadside thanked for this post
    5. #13
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      Roadside's Avatar

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      Quote Originally Posted by MossRose View Post
      Road - the anxiety will lessen as your body and brain detox. I've talked to so many people here on MWO who have GAD. It's a chicken/egg situation. Do we drink because we are anxious, or are we anxious because we drink? I believe the former is true, at least for me, although drinking certainly exacerbates the problem. Unfortunately, I still had anxiety after getting sober. I tried prescription meds, and of course, they work. But, I have found holistic ways that work better. First, you must get sober, and wait for your mind to clear. Then we can work together to help you achieve health. There are some people here who really know a lot about these things. I took their advice, and I no longer suffer from anxiety. Who would have thought that was possible? Not me

      It sounds like you have endured a lot. Your ex sounds like he is troubled, and you are definitely right to get your children out of that situation. You are obviously a strong woman, so I have no doubt you can do this. It's tough. But you are tougher. And we will be standing here by your side every step of the way. Every single step, ok? Take care of yourself. And give us an update. We're here to listen.

      ps - just as an aside - life got so much BETTER when I recently deactivated my Facebook account. What you can't see really can't hurt you. xx
      MossRose, these are such kind words to read, you and Narilly and HappyLife, so very kind. Eh, you know, ebbs and flows, ebbs and flows. But to see these kind words and promises really do help, I just gotta have faith in myself.

      5 days AF (again) today; been pretty depressed but trying to 'fake it, fake it till I make it. Fake it 'till I make it'. Trying to be kind to myself and not let negative thinking dominate. Some days are easier than others.

      Saw the movie 'Wild' with Reese Witherspoon recently, ah the urgings just to take off like that and leave the real world behind ... I will have to be content with day long retreats for now, and that is perfectly ok.

    6. #14
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      Roadside's Avatar

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      Ok, what the heck happened?
      7Jan15 - wake up and pleasantly surprised I have been upgraded to senior member . . .
      Do I get discounts? Is this a sign I spend too much time online? (Nooo.) Just cool.

    7. #15
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      abcowboy's Avatar

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      Roadside, congrats on over 100 posts, your are now officially a "senior" lol
      Quitting and staying quit isnít easy, itís learning a whole new way of thinking. Itís accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
      Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
      Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

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    9. #16
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      Quote Originally Posted by abcowboy View Post
      Roadside, congrats on over 100 posts, your are now officially a "senior" lol
      Does this come with a discount? (Heh heh)

      On a serious note, I have been sporadically CRAVING AL. I don't know who told me this, maybe Pie or Guitarista, said cravings would come in longer and longer waves (true) but at this rate, I don't see how anyone goes months and years .... Agggh. Ok positive, we have a warm weekend coming up in OKC, supposed to reach 40 deg F, I can get outside and get some things done!!!!

    10. #17
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      Roadside's Avatar

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      Made a conscious decision to interrupt my sober streak yesterday - I made it 16 days, some tough but the majority of the days were relatively AL craving free. So... I am 'on the bench' once again.

      I don't know if it is realistic for me to be completely AL free - I do know that 100% sober is the safest and healthiest alternative, I guess some residual fear keeps me from commiting to this alternative.

      I do know I have made considerable progress: 2013 and most of 2014 consisted of binging more days than not, generally with 5 to 7 day stretches before an AF day. I spent a month or two with 3-4 day AF breaks, finally in Dec 14, making my first double digit break for as long as I can remember. This last stretch was 16 days!

      So without making plans for tomorrow in fear of sabotaging today, my standing report is:

      +11 -5 (or so) +16 -2 ----> 19 Jan 2015
      Last edited by Roadside; January 19th, 2015 at 11:19 PM. Reason: Grammar

    11. #18
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      abcowboy's Avatar

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      Hey Rs, why a "conscious decision"?
      Quitting and staying quit isnít easy, itís learning a whole new way of thinking. Itís accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
      Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
      Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

    12. #19
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      hi rs, what do you mean about your conscious decision?

    13. #20
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      Roadside's Avatar

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      I consciously chose to drink.

      I am continuing to consciously choose to drink- feel like I am at the end of my friggin rope. I am not happy with anything I am doing with my life right now.

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