• Amused
  • Angry
  • Annoyed
  • Awesome
  • Bemused
  • Cocky
  • Cool
  • Crazy
  • Crying
  • Depressed
  • Down
  • Drunk
  • Embarrased
  • Enraged
  • Friendly
  • Geeky
  • Godly
  • Happy
  • Hateful
  • Hungry
  • Innocent
  • Meh
  • Piratey
  • Poorly
  • Sad
  • Secret
  • Shy
  • Sneaky
  • Tired
  • Wtf
  • Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
    Results 1 to 10 of 37
    1. #1
      Forum Subscriber.
      is Renewed
       
      I am:
      Friendly
       
      KENSHO's Avatar

      Join Date;
      12th January, 2014.
      Location;
      Out West.
      Posts;
      2,374.
      Post Thanks / Like

      Moving on to Life

      Feeing really down and exhausted today. And lonely. Miss this place. I need to share about this journey and I am so stuck as to where I fit in. Makes me sad.

      So I thought I'd start my own journal here. Writing makes things real for me, and I like that.

      Anyhow - this is the kind of day I would have drank in the past. None here today. Not sure if I'm fighting something or what, but I feel like I've been run over by a truck. Just very tired.

      Not a great first post, but honest. Here's to getting through today and looking forward to tomorrow. Ciao.
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

    2. #2
      Forum Subscriber.
      is Renewed
       
      I am:
      Friendly
       
      KENSHO's Avatar

      Join Date;
      12th January, 2014.
      Location;
      Out West.
      Posts;
      2,374.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Feeling better this morning. Got sleep! Still need more. I'm feeling BURNT from too much work! But today should be easier. SO glad to not be drinking.
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

    3. Likes Eloise liked this post
    4. #3
      Forum Subscriber.
      is 5 YEARS SOBER!
       
      I am:
      Cool
       
      jane27's Avatar

      Join Date;
      10th January, 2012.
      Posts;
      1,984.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Hi Kensho, Glad you are feeling better. I'm feeling crummy today myself. Have to remember that its not the end of the world and I'm not a passenger. (Need to get my butt up and try and turn it around). So glad too, that you are not drinking. xo
      AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

    5. Thanks KENSHO thanked for this post
    6. #4
      Forum Subscriber.
      is Renewed
       
      I am:
      Friendly
       
      KENSHO's Avatar

      Join Date;
      12th January, 2014.
      Location;
      Out West.
      Posts;
      2,374.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Thanks Jane. Nice to see a friendly face. I should let you know that I have had one or two drinks the last six months, and have been in a very good place and not abused it. It seems that many aren't ok with that or don't believe it is possible and it's definitely NOT ok to post about it. But I thought I'd put that out there in case that makes you or anyone uncomfortable. I've received some serious cold shoulder to this point so there it is.

      Hope your day gets better.
      Last edited by KENSHO; May 13th, 2015 at 12:20 PM.
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

    7. Likes jane27 liked this post
    8. #5
      Registered User.
      is Unresolved but Working on
      It...
       
      I am:
      Cool
       
      Resolve's Avatar

      Join Date;
      12th September, 2014.
      Posts;
      207.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Kensho - nice to see that you started your own thread (and I like the title)! Sounds like you're still burning the candle at both ends and I hope it lightens up for you. I'm sure having your own business makes it that much more stressful at times since you bear the responsibility of its success. I actually like feeling crunched for time and being busy since I think it makes me feel more productive, but it catches up with you, whether lack of sleep, less working out or just mental fatigue. I guess the important aspect and challenge is carving out some you time in a way that works for you and your life. Finding relief/release has been my ongoing "in search of" and still finding my way there too.

      As far as feeling stuck, if you mean being more in a mid-point of sobriety where you're not a newbie, but not a long-termer and finding the right place to keep talking about what's going on, I'm with you there. I hope you keep posting away - you've always brought great perspective around here. Maybe it's your left coast zen?

    9. Thanks KENSHO thanked for this post
    10. #6
      Forum Subscriber.
      is 5 YEARS SOBER!
       
      I am:
      Cool
       
      jane27's Avatar

      Join Date;
      10th January, 2012.
      Posts;
      1,984.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Quote Originally Posted by KENSHO View Post
      Thanks Jane. Nice to see a friendly face. I should let you know that I have had one or two drinks the last six months, and have been in a very good place and not abused it. It seems that many aren't ok with that or don't believe it is possible and it's definitely NOT ok to post about it. But I thought I'd put that out there in case that makes you or anyone uncomfortable. I've received some serious cold shoulder to this point so there it is.

      Hope your day gets better.
      Kensho, No worries. Even though my short term memory is seriously disappointing me these days, my mental imagery of 97-2014 is clear as a bell. I couldn't possibly pass judgment on you for being imperfectly abstinent. This isn't church and I'm certainly not God. One of the coolest things I've learned truly as the result of MWO, is that relationships evolve, tempers flare, moods pass, and the people that matter wont give up on you. I've both gotten and given the cold shoulder. In most all cases it passes (though it sucks mooseballs at the time). The fact that the friendships I've made on here have sustained a hiccup or 2 has only made them stronger. I like you tons, believe in you and remember some of your early posts. You've come a long way! xo
      AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

    11. Thanks KENSHO thanked for this post
      Likes NoSugar, Samstone, Eloise liked this post
    12. #7
      Registered User.
      This user has no status.
       
      I am:
      ----
       
      Samstone's Avatar

      Join Date;
      10th January, 2013.
      Posts;
      4,051.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Kensho,
      Cold shoulders are definitely ridiculous, part of the MWO is the first letter "m"= My. We are each different and so find our way differently. I actually came to MWO hoping I could moderate but decided to abstain. I was not interested in doing drugs because of side effects and expense, plus I knew in my gut (which had become rather large due to drinking beer, my favorite) that I had to quit. Now I have realized FOR MYSELF that it is a matter of embracing and enjoying a sober world, not preaching about it but just relishing each day with a clear head. However there are those who try the other way and some are successful, and should be able to express it. There is no cookie cutter. Suppose to be a free damn country, well sort of.

      Hope you are doing well
      Sam
      Liberated 5/11/2013

    13. Thanks KENSHO thanked for this post
      Likes jane27, frances, little beagle, idefineme liked this post
    14. #8
      Registered User.
      This user has no status.
       
      I am:
      Happy
       


      Join Date;
      12th October, 2008.
      Posts;
      1,287.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Kensho - I am so glad that you have found your own way out! And I am very sorry that you got a cold shoulder after being honest and open about your own experience. Take the positive here, leave the negative, and be happy for what you have been able to do in your life. And I know you are! I think people, from experience here, have seen folks try what they call 'moderating' and it isn't really moderating and they wind up overdrinking and it is not good and they frequently wind up in a bad place. I myself have been there done that. In fact, some of the moderators on the moderator threads do that - they post often about their drinking and it is frequent drinking, and it is not uncommon that it is overdrinking from what I've read there. That does not sound like being 'out' (as in 'out' of the AL mess) to me.

      I don't know what to call 'rare' drinking...'exceptional' drinking....I don't know - but one drink in a month is just not the same thing. There is nothing at all wrong with that and if you are successful then that is in fact something to be happy about and proud of!

      I'm glad you will stay here and keep getting the benefits from this site. I have been quiet about my own success in this area for fear of negatively influencing others. I don't want to misrepresent or be a fraud. I guess that's what I have been. I had one drink in February, none in March, and 2 in April (one drink each on two separate occasions). None so far in May. Consider me 'out' of the closet lol.

      Frances

    15. Likes Samstone, KENSHO, jane27 liked this post
    16. #9
      Forum Subscriber.
      is Renewed
       
      I am:
      Friendly
       
      KENSHO's Avatar

      Join Date;
      12th January, 2014.
      Location;
      Out West.
      Posts;
      2,374.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Good morning. Feeling a little better today. I still feel like I'm fighting something and am very tired. I used to drink at these instances, thinking it would "cure" or at least "numb" the pain or illness. Thank goodness I'm not adding that toxicity to how I feel now!

      Reggie, I'm not interested in bad-mouthing the Nest. They were a very warm and welcoming place for me when I arrived here. I needed to STOP completely to understand what alcohol was really doing to me. I needed to STOP completely to understand how much better life is without alcohol. I couldn't have done that without the encouragement there, and I will be forever grateful.

      Thank you Samstone I think you were the first person to respond to my initial post here at MWO. I don't want to falsely encourage anyone to drink. I don't wan't to say I'm right, or others are wrong. I just want a place to be able to be honest. And for me mostly, that is being so very grateful that I do not include alcohol in my daily life any more. I view it as a villain and a toxic, addictive substance - and I am a better person in every way now that I don't abuse it. I have learned to cope differently with situations that come up. I have employed tools that help me when the old habit says, just have a drink. I don't ever drink when I am angry, lonely, stressed, hungry, bored. In fact, I very rarely drink at all.

      For me, and I say FOR ME - because we are all different with different journeys - one occasional drink reinforces why I choose not to do it very often. Like sugar, I instantly feel like crap when I have it. I am NEVER going to risk losing my clarity, productivity, increased creativity, being present for my family, and not feeling toxic. And I will note that the consequences of one drink are very different than 4. No one seems to believe it, but I do not want 3 or 7 or 10 more drinks after one. And maybe that makes me different than some people.

      I guess what I want to say is that each of us has to find OUR OWN WAY. For some people, never touching alcohol again is the answer. I completely understand that. But I don't want to be accused of lying or being delusional if I have a different story (though I know it's coming from a place of concern). I just want to be honest and share how dang proud of myself I am that I have changed my life for the better. I do not abuse alcohol any more. I do not struggle with it. I am happy and I face life's challenges and rewards with all my faculties. THIS has worked for me.

      Can we all agree to be helpful to each other and celebrate our continuing understanding of how harmful alcohol has been to each and every one of us - and share the steps we are taking to change that? I hope so.

      So back to today - no plans to drink anything in the near future. I have events and dinners all the time and I quietly say no and move on with my evening - because I honestly don't want the shit baggage that goes along with abusing alcohol.

      Have a good and honest day.
      Last edited by KENSHO; May 14th, 2015 at 11:30 AM.
      Kensho

      Done. Moving on to life.

    17. #10
      Registered User.
      This user has no status.
       
      I am:
      ----
       
      Samstone's Avatar

      Join Date;
      10th January, 2013.
      Posts;
      4,051.
      Post Thanks / Like
      Hey Kensho, I do remember when you came in... always have enjoyed your posts. Been giving your thread some thought, I think in the Nest it is very important for folks to try not to drink or condone drinking because there are so many who are struggling. Please understand I don't think that's what occurred with you, I am just thinking out loud about the Nest and its workings. Not really sure what happened and in the end it doesn't matter, I'm glad you're here and we're all able to carry on an open discussion. I sure ain't here to judge any one! Firm believer in not throwing stones in glass houses.

      The fact is sometimes I forget that desperate feeling a person can have when first stopping. I give myself a mental reminder so I don't have to go through that bullshit again, part of my own defense mechanism.
      Liberated 5/11/2013

    18. Likes jane27, idefineme liked this post

    Similar Threads

    1. Moving thru May - Week 4
      By Stargazerlily in forum Monthly Abstinence
      Replies: 94
      Last Post: May 31st, 2011, 10:49 PM
    2. Moving thru May - week 3
      By Chillgirl in forum Monthly Abstinence
      Replies: 50
      Last Post: May 22nd, 2011, 10:18 PM
    3. Moving thru May - Week 2
      By Stargazerlily in forum Monthly Abstinence
      Replies: 105
      Last Post: May 17th, 2011, 03:34 AM
    4. Moving a thread
      By hart in forum General Discussion
      Replies: 0
      Last Post: December 21st, 2007, 10:29 AM
    5. Moving
      By cke123 in forum General Discussion
      Replies: 6
      Last Post: December 6th, 2007, 03:39 PM

    Bookmarks

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •