Keeping track of where I am

[Inthesky]

Oh Choices,
Hang in there! I get to over thinking everything too Take it for what it is just that. Our minds have been currupted by the poison we struggle not to ingest. For what it is worth I say a prayer every morning and night of gratitude trying to find my peace also. I think I read you used the Allan Carr book to quit smoking (I'm currently reading it) and it worked right? Do you regret not smoking? Well the same applies to not drinking alcohol, in 5 years will you regret it? No of course not! Lol Our brains are funny that way.
Hang in there and arm yourself with whatever it takes to protect your AF right now ! I'm only on Day 5 again so I'm not the most knowledgeable at all but I have learned some hard lessons.
Sky

[Choices]

Thanks Sky,

Your completely right. It's morning now and I am now 7 days. I can remember last week this time I thought I might die. I love the gratitude idea. So I think I'll add that to my routine. I am so tired from insomnia.. but I'm SO relieved I didn't drink anything!

[Choices]

I am having a pink cloud day. Not completely sure what it means because I haven't been to AA but I'm pretty sure this is it. I just wanted to document it because it is these kind of days that can be just as tricky for me.. Very confident, can do anything I put my mind to sort of feelings.. like I can handle anything.. Even AL if I wish... I'm home, DD is in the tub... we are in for the night.. .it's raining cats and dogs... SO, no way I'd pack us up into the car to get booze. And no way I'd tell hubby to pick me up any either... SO just going to ride this cloud.. it is nice, may as well enjoy it.

[Choices]

Well here it is years later and I am looking to find out where I am again. I am wanting to get healthy this year, I miss my health and drinking just gets in the way of that. This past year and a half I have drank somewhat in moderation, which is more than likely overdrinking.. but less than I have done in my past. I didn't drink to black out stage, which is progress. But what I hate about drinking is loosing my motivation to become fit and healthy. It just ruins it. I did a two week AF right before Christmas, a tricky time for sure, but also I was just really sick of feeling yucky. I don't drink every day, I probably have about a bottle of wine a week. (Typically) Sometimes this esclates, sometimes its less. I'd say, at this stage, I do not feel pulled to drink. I actually don't want to. Here is where I get stuck... I get on a good track, and an event comes up, not a big one.but there is drinking involved... and I decide out of lazyness to join in. There isn't a heck of a lot of pressure, maybe some. But I just decide not to say no. Then I don't care for a while.. and I'm a drinker. Then I feel like crap, bloated and fat and decide to loose weight, which always leads to knowing if I drink I won't be able to do that. Anyway, I'm rambling... I'm posting... and I'm not sure where I'm at. But, I don't want to drink for a while. I'm going to try 30 days.

[Lunarer]

Hey, Choices.

That's what I did. I thought that forever seemed like such a long time that it was better to just try for 30 days. Once that was done I tried for 90.

I'll soon be three years. Might as well try for four after that.

Bests.

[Choices]

Well, here I am day 3. I'm pretty down. Not because of wanting to drink or because of anything I did while I drank.. but because emotions are just hitting me filled with sadness today. Maybe I have been pushing them away to try and get through this past year with alcohol. All be it not as heavy... It kept some sadness at bay. It could be I have a make up test in an hour that I am not going to take. This means I failed this course for the year. I just can't lift my head up. I need a break from all the stress of school and pressure.

[Choices]

Evening here. It is so hot! I'm feeling a little better than I did earlier today. I still have a paper to finish and turn in by Friday 9 am and then I am officially done with last semester. I think it was that and the test that I chose to forgo that are playing on my mind. Everything is good on the homefront. My daughter started back to school today. It feels like a long time ago since I saw her sing in the Christmas concert, but it wasn't even a month ago. What a huge month! So many things to come down from.

I am very glad to be doing this January alcohol-free. I can not wait to feel better. Drinking is such a waste of time. It might be fun briefly but it's not worth it. I hate feeling hungover. It is the worst. I'm thankful that I don't have any massive upsets about my drinking that are scaring me strait as I have hated how that felt aswell. Very out of control. I feel in control. Just done. It's nice to be back here. I miss how busy it was when I first came to MWO.

I stuck to my diet again today and I am feeling better physically already. I also made healthy ice popsicles with my daughter after school. She took such delight in our new gadget. She is such a lovely child. I am very lucky.