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    #1

    She never even asked

    Guys, you know my relationship with my Daughter is a me give and she takes relationship. I am a grown woman and I'm fully aware of what I am doing. I have just finished redecorating her children's rooms in her new house (helps Mom is a designer) Bought all3 children all including the little guy to come their fall/winter clothes. But I'm a little hurt she still hasn't asked me how my biopsy went or if everything was OK with it. She is a nurse, and I am her Mother a little sensitivity here would be nice. I swear, somedays if not for my Grandson I think I could terminate my relationship with her without any repercussion, on either end. She is all so worried about her MIL upcoming back surgery. Never a mention of how are you Mom? Always demands, when are you finishing this or that in her new place. God, I am in a bad mood today , But sometimes you just get tired ya know? Thanks for letting me vent. Have to go finish for my yard sale tomorrow 1st one in 7 years so you can imagine the amount of stuff a designer may have in her basement.
    Smiles
    Mar
    Tags: None
    #2
    She never even asked

    Hmmmm, Simey, sounds damn frustrating to me. Perhaps you could point out how self-centered and unsupportive she is being?? (Probably not, but wouldn't it feel just great to do it!) Hope your biopsy was OK??!!
    Take care
    xx
    Amelia

    Sober since 30/06/10

    Comment

      #3
      She never even asked

      Mar, that is so sad. I know its gotta hurt you but really it is hurting her the most. Sittin where I am sittin and I dont have my mom to see and talk to anymore. Not to mention hug and touch, I wish I could tell her to wake up. She is really takin you for granted.

      Wish I could hug you now. :l
      Gabby :flower:

      Comment

        #4
        She never even asked

        Hi Mar
        I wish I could give you a big hug too. Unfortunately, some people take the people closest to them for granted. It's sad and you don't deserve it. How DID the biopsy go??
        Love jen
        Over 4 months AF :h

        Comment

          #5
          She never even asked

          Hi Mar,

          Your daughter should run off with my husband and be insensitive together!!!!

          Seriously she needs a kick up the bottom ....

          Another hug on its way to you,

          BB xx
          sigpicXXX

          Comment

            #6
            She never even asked

            Ok....I say we make an insensitive farm and send all the people there.

            Well....it might get over populated.

            Betty glad your feelin better.
            Gabby :flower:

            Comment

              #7
              She never even asked

              Mar, I do have a lot of respect for you.

              Do you think that maybe, and I am talking as one who has seen A LOT of this in her family, that maybe, just maybe, it is more "manageable" for your daughter to not to have to acknowledge the fact that you may have something serious wrong with you? Maybe, just maybe, it's easier for her to just kind of skim over the serious stuff and focus on the less important stuff to her, as if, it was of the utmost importance in order not to deal with the stuff that does matter. Are you still with me?

              To put my thoughts in a nutshell.... my mother's favourite saying was "least said... soonest mended". Now, if ever there was a saying that was soooooooooo wrong.

              Take care.

              Comment

                #8
                She never even asked

                Hi Mar, I feel your pain! I have a daughter that sounds very similar. I love her to death, but I have spoiled her rotten. She is thougtless, and self centered. She is also the exact opposite of me.We get along most of the time, but I am sensitive and feel that others should know what I am thinking. I don't like to complain about things and my family is usually amazed when I tell them that I have not been feeling well for along time, or that I had a cold, or if something has bothered me in the past....etc...they (my husband and my daughter....cut from the same cloth)...let everyone know when they have a problem. I have come to the conclusion that I have to be more demanding of people. It has been working! I don't think some people are built the same way as we are emotionally. I had a brain-storm a few days ago while talking about someone else and the way they let people treat them, and I said "I think that if you want people to treat you the way you want to be treated, then you have to demand it!" My husband stopped and listened and said...that's brilliant! I guess it is just common sence when you think about it. I know it will take awhile to get some things turned around, but I think I stumbled upon one of my major problems in life.

                Comment

                  #9
                  She never even asked

                  AWWW Mar, of course you feel hurt !! You have every reason to feel the way you do !!! Those grandkids of yours are so lucky to have a compassionate person in their lives.. I agree with Gabby though, I'd like to send a few people to that "farm" she mentioned... Sending you a hug and positive vibes... We're here for you, Hugs, ~Niblet~

                  ~ I hear a whinny on the wind~

                  Comment

                    #10
                    She never even asked

                    ((((Mar)))

                    You know what the answer is. Make a conscious choice. Not just in your actions, in your "take" on things. You are not remodeling your grandchildren's rooms for her, it's for them. When she asks when you will be done, ask all innocent like "Why, are the grandkids, complaining"? And me, I'm afraid I use sarcasm, which MWOers might have noticed by now Oh, is you MIL going to surgery? Must be hard to not know the outcome of things? All innocent. But that's me hon.

                    Even with all that I would hurt too. Joe's son bragged about the Father's day gift he was getting for his mother's fiance.....which really She was paying for. And he didn't give anything to Joe, that hurt him too. So I totally understand.

                    I talked to Evan about it and he felt very sad and spent lots of time w/Joe. But hey he's 12, it's a little more understandable. You want me to sit down w/ur daughter on the stair and talk to her too? I'll do it! Luv u hon and u are luved by many here, you know!:l

                    Comment

                      #11
                      She never even asked

                      Mar - mother daughter relationships can be so complex. Her ignorance must of hurt. Sometimes I wish I could cut out people in my family as well because of the constant hurting but like yours there are other factors involved. Your grandkids adore you, and you know, you are doing everything to keep that bond strong. She doesn't know what she is missing out on. I have my mother in my life but she makes NO effort; never has; never will. This pains me, but I can't change it no matter how hard I tried/try. Focus on your precious grand baby's.

                      Sending you hugs!

                      Comment

                        #12
                        She never even asked

                        Daughters and moms.......hummmmm.
                        Mine would just think I should "pull up my boot straps"....but heaven help if it's her daddy!
                        Oh well....I think I was the same with my mom...I couldn't stand to think of her death.....so I didn't talk to her much about it....
                        Your daughter will understand someday...
                        I hope that happends while she can still talk face to face with you.
                        Love,
                        Nancy
                        "Be still and know that I am God"

                        Psalm 46:10

                        Comment

                          #13
                          She never even asked

                          Mar, I'm so sorry after what you have just been through. I could sit here and think of a ton of excuses for her behavior but really there are none. So all I can offer is a hug and an understanding ear about insensitive family members.

                          So today, be happy for your health and your grandchildren and go make some money on that sale!
                          If I ruin my body where will I live? :ranger

                          Comment

                            #14
                            She never even asked

                            Oh Mar,
                            I know you have done so much for your daughter. Of course you are hurt. You should be. But there's probably not a lot you can do about it. Just be a great grandmother to her kids and maybe time will heal things a bit.
                            Let's hope.......
                            :l
                            Rest in Peace, Bear. We miss you.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              She never even asked

                              Hi Simey,

                              That really bites. I think you should call her on it.

                              xo

                              Comment

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