Moving

[cke123]

Good morning everyone!

So we are moving in a months time (to Atlanta) and I have to say, I'm getting really really nervous. I used to live in Atlanta, and for some reason I am afraid all my old haunts are going to resurface the second I set foot there.

All the reasons that we are relocating are good, (saving money, getting a house, not spending thousands on rent in NYC) and even though I AM nervous, I also am EXCITED. Its just that my sister is there, and she is even crazier than I am and she sucks the life out of me. I have about a thousand ex boyfriends that I am afraid of running into with my current long term boyfriend. Um, what else? I could hate the new office that I am transferring to..I could sink into a huge pit of GA red clay....HAHA.....What if I just plain hate it there?

Are these normal fears for a move? Moreover, are these normal fears for an alcoholic move (the fear of running into your past, etc)

I really dont have anyone else to talk about this with!

THanks for listening-

E

[beatle]

Moving

Those sound like natural worries, and clearly based in reality. You have a big challenge ahead. Especially with your sister, I think.

Have you made plans about how you will deal with the challenges? If you try in your mind to put yourself in dangerous situations (i.e. meeting an ex, being tempted into an old "haunt") and make a plan of action-- how you will deal with it, then maybe you can handle those situations better when/if they arise.

As for your sister, sounds like you have some serious work to do there. Maybe you two could get counseling together (like couples counseling, but instead sibling counseling?).

It's great that you are also so excited. Try to remember all the positives when you get bogged down in the "what ifs".

And you will always have MWO. We'll be here for you wherever you are.

Good luck and please keep us updated.

[jane jane]

Moving

Cke, I can relate. I returned to the Deep South after 4 years away at college in Pennsylvania, and one year in NYC while Mr. Jane was completing his post-JD degree in tax law at NYU. I went to a mostly-girls'-school (Bryn Mawr) and boozing just wasn't that big an issue there (we were all studying too hard.) Then in NYC, I got pregnant, and so the alcoholic joys of Greenwich Village were unknown to me...having not been a teen drinker at ALL, it never for one moment occurred to me that I'd EVER have a problem putting that glass down.

Well! Literally the minute we landed back down South, a glass was put in my hand and it's never quite left. The American South has such a tradition of drinking, daytime drinking, lady drinking, that shocks people from calmer regions. Garden club meeting? Bloody Mary Time! Junior League committee coming over to plan an event? Mimosa time! (Or Brandy Milk Punch, in winter)...gin and tonics by the pool while our toddlers take their swimming lessons.

I sometimes think that I'll probably never really be "cured" as long as I live in this environment.

There's probably been a book, or a doctoral dissertation, written about why Southerners drink so doggone much. One idea, suggested by a very intelligent friend of mine, a former English lit professor, is that the American South is very much like Ireland in the old days: a conquered region living under another nation's rules, agrarian poverty, etc. Made sense to me. This sort of subjugation leads to a mindset of, "Seize the day and be merry, it's all gonna end soon!"

Make no mistake: the rich, the poor, the black, the white (and now the Hispanics) lead parallel lives down here. We don't have much to do with one another. But we all drink---some of us just buy more expensive bottles.

Didn't mean to write an essay. But moving to Atlanta will indeed present a challenge, cke. I want to hear how it goes...

[Accountable for Me]

Moving

Cke, I can relate too. I had just moved back home after sometime away and I was worried about everything you are.

It has been fantastic. I have seen so many familiar faces, but you know, we are all adults and life goes on.

My little sister sucks the life out of me too. She, in fact, is quite the boozer although always cussed me about my drinking. Well, seeing she is in arms reach now, I keep a bit of distance between us and things have been fine!

Be excited! You have nothing to fear and only everything to gain with your move.

[jane jane]

Moving

I will add that I agree with Accountable about keeping siblings at arm's reach. Mine live too far away (one in England, one in Alabama) to be much of a daily hassle. Mr. Jane's siblings are closer, geographically, and his family is more the in-your-face-and-business type. I had to set some good razor-wire boundaries QUICK when we moved back here...had I not done so, his mother and sister would have flat-out tried to run our lives, and you know Jane Jane wasn't a-fixin' to put up with none of that mess.

There's this big sentimental, bathetic myth that we must naturally LOVE our siblings just because we share the same parents. Well, yes, we must deal with them, at least until our parents die and the will is probated, but if they are annoying/toxic/boring---I'd say don't wear yourself out trying to create some faux Norman Rockwell scenario. If your sister's a pain in the tail, don't talk to her much. That's why God created Caller ID. Do it on your terms.

[Accountable for Me]

Moving

LOL jane jane! Caller ID - how very true! I cannot live without it.

[cke123]

Moving

Hey guys-

She absolutely bat shit crazy. the issue is my neice and nephew. She is a big drinker (among other things) and doesnt take very good care of them. I want to be able to see them but I am afraid that she will leave them on my doorstep for days at a time. I am only 27 and one day want kids of my own, but not now!

The funny thing is that she constantly says stuff to me about my drinking. I remind her that I only have myself to answer to, not 2 small children, but for some reason she can't see the diffrence. Sigh.

E