Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

How do you dismantle positive association?

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 2
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 template Next
    #1

    How do you dismantle positive association?

    Hi,

    I've been alcohol free for 23 days now. I'm on Campral and I think it's helping. Let me rephrase that - I know it's helping because I could never go this long on my own without relapsing. I also talked honestly with my wife about my problem and she was supportive. I felt very strong those first couple of weeks, but I've been having some doubts as of late.

    I think one of the biggest issues I face is positive association. For some reason, I associate drinking with good memories. For example, I like to collect independent and obscure films and one of my favorite past times (while alone) was to watch a movie and have a drink or two or three. I know I can't engage in these behaviors anymore and I feel like something is missing.

    My wife is going out of town again in two weeks and I already anticipate I'll relax and enjoy some time to myself. We bought a new home theater system recently so I figure I'll watch some movies, but I fear the temptation to drink like I used to is going to be great.

    I suppose I need to tell myself that having a drink is not a requisite for watching a movie. Also, my good memories rarely manifest themselves in reality - at least they didn't the last few times I tried to duplicate these experiences. When I would drink and watch a movie, most of the time I would drink too much and pass out or get sick and totally not focus on what I was watching. Not fun at all.

    Any suggestions?
    Tags: None
    #2
    How do you dismantle positive association?

    I know what you mean. For me watching football, which I luv, is harder than heck to do w/o beer. But I have done it and it is doable. I find it best to think of all the BAD things alcohol does rather than the nice things. Don't forget making an ass of ourselves, pissing our pants, being rude to our spouse and with me the worst thing is having my stepson see us drunk out of our minds. Keep these bad things in mind is better than the few nice things.:welcome:

    Comment

      #3
      How do you dismantle positive association?

      Hi JS!!!

      Welcome to the 23 day AF club. I'm there too!

      I have found that "keeping busy" is the best remedy for all those false memories of how good it was to drink. When I feel like caving, I go for a run or a swim. If it's late at night, I go for a drive and listen to some music. Anything to curb those antsy feelings.

      I started L-Theanine the other day too. That is helping. I also have a list that I keep on my cellphone of why I am doing this.

      Hey we'll make our 30th day together. See you at the party on here!

      Stay strong buddy,
      --Steve

      Comment

        #4
        How do you dismantle positive association?

        JS81, very good question. I am going to think about it, and will post again after I have come up with some ideas. I know that the idea of drinking, bringing pleasant memories of when it really DID go well, the idea of it being a relaxing, happy reward for the adult I thought I was, those are some of the things that brought me pleasure in the past, and some of the things that I really miss when I am AF. And will be the things I will continue to miss if I do go permanently AF.

        I know that watching a good movie should be an innocent way to spend an evening. I am sure you have thought about AF type drinks, about inviting someone who doesn't drink to watch the movie with you, about keeping your computer to this site while you ARE watching the movie..... If I come up with anything remotely innovative, I'll post again. Good luck. You CAN do it, you know, if you let yourself. Getting out of our own way is one of the problems, isn't it?

        Comment

          #5
          How do you dismantle positive association?

          Haven't tried GABA. The L-Theanine is making me very mellow. Not sure I could handle anything else!

          Stay Strong,
          --Steve


          Zenstyle;630566 wrote: X-posted with you DD and Mica.

          DD, I'm thinking about getting the L-Theanine. Have you tried GABA?

          Comment

            #6
            How do you dismantle positive association?

            JS -- L-theanine is a great supp! It's effective for those irritable, grouchy, generally dissatisfied times when others get on one's nerves. Also, here's a thought about your AL/film combo... they say that nature abhors a vacuum, so be sure to replace your AL movie-watching drink with something new and delicious -- maybe something that you only have during those times. A cocoa or caramel drink? Maybe a wonderful tea? Or my fav -- sparkling water and pineapple juice. I know it's not *the same* but it helps to fill the void. You might also do something new to associate with your film watching, for example, look up some trivia related to each film beforehand, and try to spot the actor, scene, line, etc. as you watch. I think Zen was dead on about not thinking of it as a deprivation. You CAN retrain your thoughts! Good luck and let us know how it goes.
            "If you fell down yesterday, get up today." -- H.G. Wells

            Comment

              #7
              How do you dismantle positive association?

              This is a really good question. I associate drinking wine with watching my fave TV or films. Relaxing and chilling and just enjoying the moment. Next morning however, can never remember watching them or even what happened! Seems pointless but still I do it.

              Here's to day 1! Again.......

              If anyone has any ideas would love to hear them.

              xx

              Comment

                #8
                How do you dismantle positive association?

                GREAT idea LilBit!

                How about a freshly made strawberry/banana smoothie with whipped cream?

                --Steve

                Comment

                  #9
                  How do you dismantle positive association?

                  Gosh that sounds yummy......

                  Comment

                    #10
                    How do you dismantle positive association?

                    I think it does take time to rewire your brain. I did the bare minimum cooking wise for quite a while as I had always had a glass of something on go while in the kitchen - I can cook AF now - and it usually tastes better!

                    I think stick it out, distract yourself another way for a while, take the supps and you should end up being able to watch without AL.

                    Bets
                    x
                    Proud to be SLIGHTLY SLOVENLY.:wavin:


                    [/COLOR]

                    Comment

                      #11
                      How do you dismantle positive association?

                      Thanks for the suggestions everyone. I think this has been the hardest part for me lately. The Campral helps with the physical cravings but the psychological aspects are still there strong as ever and need to be dealt with. What is working for me now is actually the DrinkTracker. I am amazed that I have logged so many AF days and I would hate to throw that away. Not to mention that I always feel terrible the morning after knowing that the count has to start again. It's a feeling of defeat that is far worse then and outweighs whatever enjoyment I may have had the night before. Also, it's not that I'm "enjoying" these times anyway. Passing out isn't fun - and that happens a lot more often for me than having a "good" time.

                      Comment

                        #12
                        How do you dismantle positive association?

                        Hi, Everyone,
                        JS81, since you are taking Campral, I am assuming (bad thing to do, I know) that you are planning on staying AF, and planning on NOT modding. In that case, I really like Lilbit's idea of having something that you love and ONLY drink while watching movies. For me, that would have to be pomegranate juice. It is pricey (Well, not compared to wine. Why am I cheap when it comes to good stuff, but could always afford the bad?) and delicious. And it look great in a wine glass.

                        I did think about you and your question a lot yesterday. Since I am trying to mod, my own decision is turning out to NOT drink what used to sing to my cravings (chardonnay) but replace it with something I enjoy but don't seem to need to overdo with (red wine.) I actually do enjoy just two glasses of it, without wanting the third.

                        Good luck! Let us know how the time goes when your wife is gone. That's always a bad time for me, too.

                        Comment

                          #13
                          How do you dismantle positive association?

                          I was at the fresh market today and got some new "exotic fruit" bubbly sodas that i have never heard of before but sound interesting. My grandson was visiting, he left behind several Disney movies and he got me started collecting old McDonald's "Flintstones mugs" . They were made in France in 1993 and come in 4 styles. They are clear glass with caveman themes and quite interesting and really pretty. I think I will look very......well shall we say, "Sophisticated" as I sit here watching Disney movies and sipping soda from my flintstone mugs. I have 3 out of the 4 so ..........anyone care to join me ???........LOL
                          sigpicEyes on the PRIZE, a SOBER Future !!!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            How do you dismantle positive association?

                            JS - You might want to check out Quit Smoking sites for suggestions. I think smoking has been associated by many addicts as part of their normal routine (along with it's positive associations). My guess is that you'll just have to get through several movie nights AF to re-train your brain. Maybe you could watch earlier in the day with a bowl of breakfast cereal. Good luck

                            Comment

                              #15
                              How do you dismantle positive association?

                              Hi JS
                              I agree with the others who have recommended replacing your usual drinks with something else. As well as the AF drinks, could you try some type of snack? If popcorn is a bit too unsophisticated to go with the indie movies, maybe some pretzels or something else you don't have very often?

                              Also, try not to worry about it too much in advance. You might find that once you're absorbed in the movie you don't really think about whatever is in the drink you're reaching for and the habit is really just tied in with having something at hand.

                              Good luck!
                              There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
                              You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues

                              I didn't come this far to only come this far.

                              Comment

                              Previous 1 2 template Next
                              Working...
                              X