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**LookingToGrow** · September 12, 2009, 04:55 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

Hey Fresh Hope! You may want to try family members affected by drinking for more support. Hope this helps...

**finallymadeit2** · September 12, 2009, 04:59 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

How does she feel about attending AA or alateen? I, myself, have never had a desire to attend a meeting, but there are people I know who attend, and they always make new friends. One of the local AA chapters in my area has al/drug free outings, bbqs, beach trips, etc. (As I just typed those sentences, I thought maybe I should take my own advice.

)

Your daughter is a VERY brave & smart girl for going through rehab. She is so lucky to have your support. She may need a little time to find her "way" in the new environment. It's difficult being 19 as it is, still trying to figure out the world. Does she like to read? maybe there's a local book club she might enjoy. If there are "coffee houses" nearby, maybe they offer different activities, such as live entertainment in an alcohol-free environment.

Sending hugs and well wishes! :l

**Draggy** · September 12, 2009, 05:03 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

fresh, my heart goes out to you and your daughter. are there any youth clubs, youth support clubs etc. in your area that she could join?

**brittzak** · September 12, 2009, 05:05 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

She only has 2 weeks until she starts a new job....how about go to church, the movies, the park, the library, the mall. It takes time to meet new friends. Play online for two weeks. I pass a lot of time here...

**bloggy** · September 12, 2009, 05:06 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

Wow, Fresh Hope she has come so far for one so young- I wish I had got my life in gear when I was that age. I didn't even know I had a drink problem then....(although I did).

Are there any clubs she could join that don't involve drinking? It must be sooo hard at that age- most people are just starting out on their drinking 'careers'- she is trying to end hers.

Perhaps something where the participants are completely involved in health pursuits? A judo club, or a Yoga class where she will only meet health conscious people?

Maybe there is a local community center where you could fine out what is going on for young people in the area that is unlikely to involve drink or drugs?

I guess where I grew up there were probably lots of places to go that didn't involve drinking/drugging, I just never found them.

What about here coming on here and starting her own thread? it might keep the boredome at bay somewhat and there are probably lots of younger people who drop by but don't post because most of use could be their parents/grandparents :=O

Good to have you here by the way! :welcome:

**bloggy** · September 12, 2009, 05:15 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

I have just seen you have been here for a while- so no need for the welcome!

I just must have missed you.

Best of luck to you both- please keep us updated.

**rubywillow** · September 12, 2009, 06:26 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

My neice went through rehab this year, and is still struggling to find her place. Her dad died a few months ago, and she had to make some big changes. She's older than you daughter, has a great job, had an apartment in Atlanta and a full social life. She's moved back with her mom now, to get things together. Changing their friends is SO hard for them. I wish you the best.

**gyco** · September 12, 2009, 07:09 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

hope is a good name,for you, 1 month,and 14 months sober she knows wht she has to due,speciallyif she was in rehab,she knows the people around her dont feel the pain,she feels,it is a never ending story, it rips yur soul from you,nless your like us,you dont no,sad,but i will saay it,again,she knows the answer,dont hang your h ead in shame,hold it up,and you face society ,one day at a time,nothing more,nothing less,my dear i wish you well,gyco

**redhibiscus** · September 13, 2009, 07:57 AM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

All the suggestions are great....AA, NA, church, coffee houses. Getting out and meeting people is so hard. I cannot imagine getting sober at that age but wish I had. She is lucky to have a parent to just be there...the most important part of a relationship.

**Fresh Hope** · September 13, 2009, 09:13 AM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

I knew I would get help here, I always have?.

Most family members are 1500km away and since they have a just pull up your boot straps and put down the drink attitude, kinda glad they are far away... I have another child 5 minutes away who remains very angry and resentful toward my daughter ?my older child needs help to learn how to accept and forgive the disease and behavior?. and then , hopefully understand that I feel blessed to have gotten to the point where I accept and forgive and not be angry toward me for my support and effort.

My daughter has gone to a few AA meetings, likes the people a lot and always comes home happy but she doesn't really connect or feel that she needs to be there. I am gently pushing the health club idea, we have toured one and she likes it, lots of exercise classes etc., I just have to get her to join, maybe today I will buy her a 1 month membership, less pressure that way.

I would like her to come here and post and read, but I am afraid she might resent me posting about her here.

Thanks for the support, it is one day at a time and mostly she feels grateful and hopeful?I know exercise will help. I am going to google alateen and see what they say about sober friends?.she really doesn?t believe there are any, or any that she would have things in common with.

Out to walk the pets and put my face in the sun :h
FH

**Marshy** · September 13, 2009, 02:14 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

Hi Fresh Hope,

I just wanted to add: if she likes going to AA, that's good enough! She doesn't have to analyse it too much... do I need to be here? Am I really an alcoholic? etc. She likes the people and enjoys it - sounds like an excellent way to spend time!

And about her coming here: you could either delete your posts about her or she could try a different recovery forum - there are lots out there - Smart Recovery and Sober Recovery spring to mind.

**Fresh Hope** · September 13, 2009, 07:43 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

HI Marshy, Thanks I will check out the other forums and maybe delete my posts here. She knows about this site and showed some interest. Love!!! the support here........ I feel so optimistic and hopeful :H thanks all
FH :h

**Fresh Hope** · September 16, 2009, 01:08 PM

I have a lonely sober 19 YO child...no sober friends

I have had such a lift from all of you and nice PMs too!.
She has 2 jobs...just like that! and now no time to think about loneliness...It was suggested that she start her own social media site or group in our city for people like her....that idea received a lukewarm response, but I think it caught her interest....she does believe she isn't the only 19YO in her position ...we'll see.

FH

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