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    What was your rock bottom

    For those suffering from the disease of alcoholism it seems to be an almost universal truth that before things can get better, they have to get worse -- sometimes a lot worse. They call it "hitting bottom" -- the place an alcoholic must reach before he finally is ready to admit that he has a problem and reaches out for help.
    After all, for the true alcoholic, it doesn't seem to him (or her) that he has a problem. He's just having a good time. If everybody would just get off his back, everything would be okay. He's got a disease, but it sure doesn't seem like one and the last thing that would ever occur to him is that he needs help.

    Because alcoholism is a progressive disease, there comes a point at which even the most dedicated drunk decides that there just might be a problem.

    Alcoholism does not stay in one place. It doesn't hit a certain stage and then level off. It keeps deepening, affecting him physically, mentally, morally and spiritually. On all of those levels he keeps getting worse until finally he hits bottom.

    So where is bottom? Nobody really knows. For some, getting that first DUI might be where the turning point comes. Getting locked up, even for a few hours, and facing the public humiliation of a court date is for some the only signal they need they have a problem.

    For others, however, 10 drunk driving arrests have no affect whatsoever. Driving without a license and frequent visits to the local jail don't phase them at all.

    Alcoholics have lost driver's licenses, jobs, careers, girlfriends, wives, family and children and have continued to deny they have a drinking problem.

    It was always somebody else's fault. His wife just didn't understand him. The only reason he got that DUI was because he was driving a red vehicle and cops watch for red vehicles. He wouldn't have all the problems he's got if it weren't for those nosey people !

    His boss was a real pain to put up with anyway. His career as a professional was going nowhere fast and besides he enjoys selling used cars -- gets to meet more people.

    Some alcoholics go on for many years denying their downward spiral into social, economic and moral decline. But every alcoholic has a "bottom" out there to hit. A place where even the hardest of the hardcore drinkers finally admit that their lives have become unmanageable,what was your rock bottom ?,or have you not hit it yet ?


    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

    #2
    What was your rock bottom

    This was my rock bottom,when it finally hit me that i cannot drink anymore.
    In January2009 after a lovely holiday with both our families (as my partner would not go away with me on my own) I went on a mad drinking binge and when I returned home from the pub that night I verbally and physically attacked people around me including my partner. The police were called once again and I was asked to leave the house and the relationship was over. The next day true to form I was back in the pub first thing in the morning as if nothing happened. It wasn't because I didn't remember the things that had happened, I did! This is what I always done when I had problems in my relationships. When I woke up in my sister’s house the following morning massively hungover as usual, something clicked in my head. It was, I can’t do this to myself anymore. Apart from any chance of saving my relationship which I knew was finished, I knew I had to try and save myself. and so far i have,.......... and havent had a drink since.


    :congratulatory: Clean & Sober since 13/01/2009 :congratulatory:

    Until one is committed there is always hesitant thoughts.
    I know enough to know that I don't know enough.

    This signature has been typed in front of a live studio audience.

    Comment


      #3
      What was your rock bottom

      Mario, this is a great topic. I always thought the "bottom" was a well defined place. A place where I would find myself homeless and without a job or a drivers license. Since I was none of those things, I used this as one way to convince myself I was not alcoholic. (hahahahaha)

      A way of describing "reaching the bottom" that hit home with me was this: "You have reached your bottom when you decide to stop digging the hole."

      Indeed.

      I stopped digging the hole when I could no longer think of any good reasons to live. I was not homeless or jobless or drivers-license-less (new word ) But I was lifeless, or as close to that as I can imagine being while still breathing. I collected a stash of prescription pain killers, muscle relaxers, etc. and had serious thoughts of ending it all. There was plenty of other garbage going on during my decent to the bottom. But I think wanting to end it all finally got me to stop digging. I was too chicken to kill myself and couldn't stand living / feeling that way any more.

      ETA: Cross posted with you Mario. Good for you realizing you were at that place, and not had a drink since. I had to relapse and prove to myself one final time that I cannot be fixed. So there was about 8 more months of drinking misery beyond the suicidal place.

      DG
      Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
      Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


      One day at a time.

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        #4
        What was your rock bottom

        mario,
        I can give you the time,the date and the place I finally realized I could no longer live/exist the way I was.

        6.50 am, 5th July 2009 at our local convenience store where I asked for half a bottle of vodka to go with the Sunday papers.
        It could be worse, I could be filing.
        AF since 7/7/2009

        Comment


          #5
          What was your rock bottom

          interesting thread. i should have reached the bottom a few times, but carried on drinking. twice ended up in hospital after overdose on my insulin. i felt so disgusted at myself, people in my ward who were ill through no fault of their own and there was me, taking up valuable resources. vowed never to drink again.lasted about 2 days. i dont know what would have actually made me stop. everyones rock bottom is so different, for some it may be not remembering the night before, for others (myself inc) that was the norm. im so glad that i have started the journey to sobriety.
          Today is the tomorrow i worried about yesterday and it turned out fine
          Keep passing the open windows

          Comment


            #6
            What was your rock bottom

            After a 2 wk vacation in Hawaii that was extremely stressful and loveless due to the AL problem, my husband walked out on me. I knew he was serious this time and had enough of the AL myself. I had hoped(somewhat) that he would bring up the problem while we were away from everyday stress, but he had already given up that I would ever quit and was distancing himself from me.
            Once we came home I went right back to my usual nightly drinking. I went to work one day and he moved out. That was the beginning of the end of AL for me.

            I got lucky. I got sober and he came back after 3 months. Still taking it ODAT.

            Winefree

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              #7
              What was your rock bottom

              I havent reached my rock bottom yet, i have had all the bad hangovers and i know i do have a drink problem but i can still make all the excuses to keep drinking.

              Comment


                #8
                What was your rock bottom

                Nice thread Mario,
                I posted this on a previous thread but here goes again. Had gone AF all over Christmas and full of myself and ridiculously on 7th Jan 2010 drank a bottle of vodka (in my nice lemon squash glass). Had only given up Antabuse a few days previously. Got completely tanked up and seriously overheated (to do with the Antabuse I gather) and my lovely lovely little 21 year old daughter came over to me in the sitting room and pointed at my glass and said " I'll take that Mum", I said something like 'no no its fine I'm thirsty ( still believing she thought it was lemon squash)' and she repeated very firmly "I'll take that Mum". I felt like a lowdown filthy rotten nobody person, I squirm now at that feeling, needless to say when husband came home a big row happened etc but nothing bar nothing compared to the moment with my brave brave little daughter. I will NEVER let her down like that again (or any of the rest of the family obviously). That was my rock bottom
                Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                contentedly NF since 8/04/14

                Comment


                  #9
                  What was your rock bottom

                  clare;829849 wrote: I havent reached my rock bottom yet.
                  Clare, I'm interested in what you say. In a way, I don't think I've reached my rock bottom either. I see my rock bottom as living on the street and I think that's what's eventually waiting for me if I decided to drink again.

                  So in that sense, I haven't hit bottom. My drinking did get very, very bad and was ruining my life and my health, and I'd stopped eating towards the end, but still I don't think that's as bad as it could get.

                  But the point is, it was bad enough. I don't have to wait until I'm homeless to think "OK, now I need to stop".

                  It doesn't have to be as bad as it could possibly get for me, it just has to be bad enough
                  .
                  sigpic
                  AF since December 22nd 2008
                  Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

                  Comment


                    #10
                    What was your rock bottom

                    How right you are Marshy, we don't have to wait until we're living under cardboard on a street to hit the bottom, it just has to be 'bad enough'
                    Molly
                    Contentedly sober since 27/12/2011
                    contentedly NF since 8/04/14

                    Comment


                      #11
                      What was your rock bottom

                      My bottom was a year and a half ago. After work, I stopped in a bar and drank 4 double Bloody Marys in less than 2 hours, then proceeded to drive 75 miles home. The scariest part about this is that I do not remember the ride home!!!! I don't remember anything after walking out the door of the bar. I could have killed someone! OMG! That was my bottom and I thought to myself, "Lady, you are flying on borrowed wings!" Have I ever gotten a DUI? No. Have I ever been in an accident? No. My point is, I wasn't going to wait until I lost my job, my license, etc, because the shame would put me over the edge. I got a second chance and I am not going to blow it! I am filled with gratitude to have this opportunity to be well. I have fabulous friends, a loving family, an exciting career and AL is not worth losing everything I have!

                      Rusty

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                        #12
                        What was your rock bottom

                        Living out of a box under a bridge is not the "lowest possible bottom" in my view. It's death. The dead ones aren't here to talk about it.

                        DG
                        Sobriety Date = 5/22/08
                        Nicotine Free Date = 2/27/07


                        One day at a time.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          What was your rock bottom

                          I haven't hit rock bottom but I can see it coming....thus I am here
                          I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                          Live in the Solution....not the problem

                          Comment


                            #14
                            What was your rock bottom

                            Doggygirl;829935 wrote: Living out of a box under a bridge is not the "lowest possible bottom" in my view. It's death. The dead ones aren't here to talk about it.

                            DG
                            DG,
                            So, so true, before that horrendous moment on the 5th July I'd had a good rake round the medicine cabinet ,to see what was in there. Plenty.
                            To this day I don't know what pulled me back.
                            J x
                            :l
                            It could be worse, I could be filing.
                            AF since 7/7/2009

                            Comment


                              #15
                              What was your rock bottom

                              Hi All
                              On this elevator ride down their are many floors to get off. As DG has pointed out their is the bottom THE END. We who have been here for awhile have known people here that wound up at the true bottom. All that have wound up on this site don't need to keep going down to the true end. We can stop the madness that we have brought into our lives. I wish I had years ago. The one aspect this site does give us is a look into each others mistakes. We are fools if we don't learn from them. The longer you fool yourself and continue with al in your life the closer you get to the end. Yes it was hearing about the death of someone caused by someone i knew that was the turning point for me. One person dead one person in jail. I could have been either one.


                              Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
                              AF 5-16-08
                              Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
                              AF 5-16-08

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