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    September Mod Squad

    Wow, a new month and Autumn is on it's way in North America. Hope everyone is doing well. I slept in a bit and just drinking a bit of coffee this morning...sitting here thinking about my drinking this weekend. Friday night I had one glass of wine and really didn't feel like having any more, but got frustrated and upset about something and proceeded to open another bottle. Did not finish the bottle but drank enough to get rather tipsy, and also to suffer a hangover. Not good. Started to tie one on last night as well, but stopped after two (glasses). Feel fine this morning, but know I can't continue to use AL when I feel overwhelmed. I had gotten past that for a long time, and I look back and think maybe I just didn't have any bad days, lol. Not true, but I also had made a commitment and I stuck with it...time for me to do some real soul searching.


    "I like people too much or not at all."
    Sylvia Plath

    #2
    September Mod Squad

    LG,
    Not sure if you have ever used the drinktracker but I have found it incredibly helpful at times. Like someone journaling food intake, when we journal/record how many drinks we had, it can help keep us more accountable I think.

    We are on vaca and had had two glasses of wine (which I try to limit myself to). We got back to our place and decided to have a "nightcap". Beautiful night, sitting outside, people watching...and we ordered two wines. The waitress was taking a while and suddenly my husband looked at me and he said, "I've had enough". I really don't want that third glass". So he asked another waitress to find our waitress and cancel the order and we left. There was a part of me that REALLY knew that was my cut off point too. Had I had that third I would be feeling it today. I am wondering if I were committed to the drinktracker if I would have even attempted to try to have the third one. I think I will commit myself to tracking there this month. Why don't you join me LG and anyone else who wishes to.
    :l
    Eve11
    "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

    ~Jack Welsh~:h

    God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

    Comment


      #3
      September Mod Squad

      Good morning LG. Rather than beat yourself up I think you should be feeling good that you were aware enough to make the choice to stop. Great job! I read somewhere that with lessons in life if you miss your goal you should not get down on yourself but learn from the outcome. It looks like you are continuing to experience and explore your relationship with AL. As someone who is new to trying this that seems amazing and positive.

      I know exactly what you mean about using it when feeling overwhelmed. Today I am going to work really hard on just feeling the feeling and reminding myself that it isn't that bad.

      Comment


        #4
        September Mod Squad

        Hi Eve. I have used the drink tracker. I don't think it would have made any difference Friday night though. I *knew* I was going over the limit. I didn't just have too many and then say, whoops! I set out to get tipsy and I got there. Again, it was a coping thing--thinking it would dull the anger and frustration I was feeling. It did. However, it's not the kind of coping I want to be doing...I don't like the after-effects, nor the out of control feeling.

        Hi Gettingreal. Welcome to the Mod Squad. It's always great to see new "faces". Yes, at least I was able to control it last night, and it wasn't that difficult because I already regretted Friday night. I am on a journey and learning all the time...that what's good about coming here and being accountable, for me.

        Have a great Sunday everyone.


        "I like people too much or not at all."
        Sylvia Plath

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          #5
          September Mod Squad

          Hi Everybody!

          LG, thanks for starting the September Mod Squad. I am sending you good mental energy for fun, soul-satisfying things you can do to have a happy week of vacation.

          I am spending every spare minute gazing at the Gulf, as Wed. We leave FL for points west, meeting new grandson, checking in with the great grandparents, our adult children, and preparing for the fall events.

          Happy Labor Day to us all... FF
          . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

          Comment


            #6
            September Mod Squad

            Safe travels, FF. Congrats on the new grandson!

            I love waking up feeling good. Might have to put a whole list of things on frig "Benefits of AF". I actually had 2 beers playing golf yesterday but an 8:00 dinner of popcorn & wine became popcorn & 1 AF beer that I didn't even finish. Hence, TMH, why you feel good today!!!!

            Eve - I'll commit to the DrinkTracker with you this month. My Sat. night wasn't particularly good but not terrible either.

            LG - have a great vacation also! I know that feeling of being overwhelmed.

            Welcome, GettingReal, love your attitude! Tell us more about you.

            TMH
            The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.

            Comment


              #7
              September Mod Squad

              Good morning everyone!

              TMH, let us know how the golf went.

              Getting Real, you bring up a good point about paying attention to our feelings. TMH has mentioned a weight control book which I also have, cannot remember the British author's name at the moment, which comes with a CD, called "I Can Make You Thin," I think, and in the CD he points out that emotions are signals that we need to pay attention to. We do not need to let the emotions control us, I think he said, but we DO need to figure out what they are trying to tell us.

              But it is pretty hard to figure it out, sometimes...and even if I can figure it out...ok, so I am dreading making poor decisions on the packing I need to do today...exactly HOW am I to cope with it?

              So I got out the suitcases and now I am going to the beach! will fill the cases later...

              Happy Tuesday! FF
              . "It is only with the heart that one can see clearly; that which is essential, is invisible to the eye.". Antoine de Saint-Exupery

              Comment


                #8
                September Mod Squad

                Hi modders, I can't believe we are in september already! welcome gettingreal!

                Hey FF, I'm going to look into some of the herbal teas like you mentioned, you made it sound so good! I hope you have good trip, and get everything done before you leave!

                TMH, good to see you around. How did you do in the tournament?

                Cashy? HabDef? are you two out there? Let us know how things are going. BTW, what happened to trixie? I haven't seen her around any of the boards so I wish she would check in, or maybe I missed something?

                My af break is going well, there are some things I'm trying to work through but I'm somewhere around the 3 week mark with it.

                Comment


                  #9
                  September Mod Squad

                  Hello, Moders!

                  Haven't checked in since last month, sorry to say. And I'm pressed for time here today, trying to squish 5 days of work into 3 since it looks like I'll be on the road again Friday.

                  Hope everyone had a great weekend.
                  D
                  Well the 1st are the hardest days don't you worry anymore.
                  When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    September Mod Squad

                    Hi all. Didn't check in yesterday because it seems like I am the only one posting here sometimes, lol. There were no new posts all day long when I checked, so I thought I'd give everyone a rest.

                    Things are ok. I'm enjoying my time off...just relaxing mostly. And sleeping in, hee hee. I was AF yesterday, and just one glass of wine on Sunday. Not sure what days I will be AF this week, since I don't have to work...rubbing it in a little. However, I don't have plans to "celebrate" or overindulge.

                    Nice to see you D, hope you had a good weekend too. FF, dg, TMH...thank you for the pep talk. I really appreciate this community.

                    Have a great day everyone.


                    "I like people too much or not at all."
                    Sylvia Plath

                    Comment


                      #11
                      September Mod Squad

                      Sorry All for my absence this weekend our internet connection went down and to be honest I was just fine with that, watched hubby freak out It came back last night and I have just been swamped at work... I will read some catch up and post more this evening when I get home, hope everyone had a nice labor day weekend.....

                      I went and saw Neil Diamond perform at the MGM (no I am not really that old but I LOVE HIM, have seen him like 16 times, went with mom and sister )
                      And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                      Comment


                        #12
                        September Mod Squad

                        Hey squad anyone notice that our August squad had 83 more posts than our July squad....
                        We may have our dead zones but overall were growing!!!

                        I haven't had an AF day in a while but keeping the beers to minimum and not getting tipsy or having any ill affects still I am bothered that I can't seem to just enjoy some AF days.....

                        I read up on all the posts but feel like I dont really know where everyone is at....

                        I am still doing some crazy house work but it is very hot n humid these past few days and that makes the motivation decrease.....

                        Grilling a tri tip tonight and catching up on Breaking Bad

                        Hope everyone is well!!!
                        And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                        Comment


                          #13
                          September Mod Squad

                          Morning all you modders,

                          Hope everyone enjoyed an AF or moderate evening....

                          Gunna shoot for an AF hump day myself today! As a little midweek treat to myself....

                          D- did you ever have that Sunday night bottle of wine with your wife... Sorry if I missed this answer in a previous post....

                          LG- how's the staycation treating you?

                          Ok gotta finish getting ready for work!

                          Have a fabulous day!!!!
                          And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back so shake him off ~ Florence and the Machine

                          Comment


                            #14
                            September Mod Squad

                            Slow going in here last couple of days, V. Sorry you were the only one posting. I'm here!

                            Stayca is going pretty well. Nice sleeping in and escaping some of the pressure of the work-a-day stress. I have some movies written down I want to watch on Netflix....might do a movie marathon one day. Been playing an RPG, Darksiders II with bf on PS3 ... when he's not on TW13, lol. The saga continues, V... Overall it's not been a problem, and we did go to the flea market Sat. and got some good things for our business...already sold 8 video games in 2 days. There's a huge "yard sale" at the Myrtle Beach Convention Center on Sat, and I would really like to go...potentially tons of good stuff (for the business).

                            Anyway, went to bed early last night...11ish...still feel tired though. Stayed up nearly all night Sunday, lol, for no good reason other than I could. Planning to go and visit my mom today. Hope everyone is doing well!

                            LG


                            "I like people too much or not at all."
                            Sylvia Plath

                            Comment


                              #15
                              September Mod Squad

                              Hi everyone, glad to hear you're all well. I actually f'd up last night. I was away from my gf since last Thursday, so she was all excited to see me, so we go together back at my place on yesterday. She then made a resi at this bar she really like to go to. She can drink. I sit down, everyone knows her, thr bartender asked if I;d like wine, I was going to opt for beer, but said screw it and he pours it hi! Oh, I should add this relationship is a little dicey in that she is separated, but not legally, and her husband still lives at their residence from time to time...they're supposedly trying to work things out, but coming from experience, I don't see how that is happening since she sleeps with me and spends most of her real quality time with me...however, it is stressful for me at times.

                              We've fallen in love and October is supposedly the day they decide to stay separated or not. Whether things work out with us or not, I can't see how this marriage is going to work. The frigin' husband knows what's been going on and she is never happywith him. Anyway, we went to another bar and this is where it gets fuzzy. Apparently, we got in an argument and accused her of using me and called her slut! I don't recall this. She went home, then out to another bar, I ended up passing out home, she wanted to talk there. I know what happened. I get upset sometimes that we have to hide our relationship and it does hurt me, alcohol doesn't help.

                              This happened once before through txts awhile ago, not as bad, but she forgave me...she actually came over, wasted, and wanted really, intense, almost violent angry sex as a make up?!?

                              I feel so stupid! I ordered wine. I mean what was I thinking. We are supposed to go out to dinner tonight. I hope we still are. She went off on me with txts, she got really peeved with the one where I said, its like she has her cake and eating it too, and it upsets me sometimes, the siuation. That seemed to really piss her off, I don't know why because its true....the slut and used comment I FEEL TERRIBLE about!!

                              I really love this woman and truly do believe we have a future; her marriage has been dead for so long, but I'm not sure the two of them realize it. I don't like being verbally abusive, that's not my thing, it makes me feel awful! I don't like hurting the people I love.

                              I first tried with a joke txt (I know, bad move), it was like, hey, I get out early and you pick the jewlery? I quickly wrote back though...I love you. I'm sorry. I need to watch drink when I'm stressed. I'm seeing it now.
                              She actually commented quicklyon the stupid text, saying how little i think of her I thought I could buy her and to leave her alone. I wrote back, it was a bad joke, sorry. I don't think I can buy you. Okay. This is sometimes more challening thank I think, but aI think its worth it and I know I can do it....ok I will leave you alone...she thanked me for that. I then wrote you saw my sincere msg, she quikly responded yes, and left it that...

                              I actually decided to just call her. I wanted her to hear my voice. I pretty much reiterated what I said, but got into more detail. I told her I know why this happens and that I don't want it to happen, it's just harder than I thought, but I want it to change, I even asked for her help and I hope that we're going out tonight. I should add, that majority of the time, I mean 95%, we get a long great...we only had two fights.

                              With all that said...this stressful fiasco, marahton training, etc. I think I should take a long break...

                              I hope she forgives me and I hope we're continuing...

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