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**MonaCat** · May 28, 2013, 02:05 PM

Thoughts on AA?

AA works really well for some folks and not so well for others. I would suggest you give a meeting a try. Look for a meeting in safe part of town. They have beginners meetings which are best to start with. Familiarize yourself with the program before you go. Read the 12 steps on line and google how meetings are run, so you will feel comfortable when you get there. Nothing ventured, nothing gain and best wishes in your recovery !
:h

**allswell** · May 28, 2013, 03:19 PM

Thoughts on AA?

Hi EMW,

I don't know if this is what you want to hear but the best advice I can give is to go to a meeting. You need to see first hand the interaction and dialogue of everyone. It can't adequately be described whether it works for you by someone else. You need to experience it first hand and see if it is something that is comfortable for you. There are always multiple meetings in multiple locations in every city every day of the week, go to one and see what you think. I'm not a salesperson for AA, I went to a meeting and decided it was not for me but I saw real value in the organization and would not rule it out in the future. Good luck!

**emwv712** · May 28, 2013, 03:29 PM

Thoughts on AA?

Thanks, I'm going to try to attend an open AA meeting this weekend. I'm debating whether I should tell my family and friends that I am going. Most of them do not really think that I have a drinking problem or that if I really had a "problem," I wouldn't have been able to stop when I found out I was pregnant.

The real issue is that I couldn't stop drinking before we knew we were pregnant, and I worry that I will turn right back to drinking once the baby is born and there is nothing to stop me.

So, here we go...I'll try out a meeting and will keep you posted.

**allswell** · May 28, 2013, 04:04 PM

Thoughts on AA?

Hey Emw,

I'm glad you're considering a meeting. I personally don't see a need to tell your friends and family however. A big part of going to a meeting is the anonymity which not only is for the people at the meeting but, at least at first, is for you too. A lot of people have stigmas about AA, is he/she a drunk etc. Why open yourself up to that, go to a meeting and see how it goes and keep it confidential IMHO. Good luck EMW!

**emwv712** · May 28, 2013, 04:33 PM

Thoughts on AA?

allswell;1511937 wrote: Hey Emw,

I'm glad you're considering a meeting. I personally don't see a need to tell your friends and family however. A big part of going to a meeting is the anonymity which not only is for the people at the meeting but, at least at first, is for you too. A lot of people have stigmas about AA, is he/she a drunk etc. Why open yourself up to that, go to a meeting and see how it goes and keep it confidential IMHO. Good luck EMW!

Thanks, allswell. I was not sure if keeping AA a secret would be a good thing (i.e. help me to be honest with addressing my problem and without worrying about judgment) or a bad thing (just another thing that I'm keeping from the people who love me).

I'm going to keep this under my hat for now and will just tell my husband that I'm slipping out on Sunday to run some errands. I hate to lie, but there is a part of me that does want to preserve that anonymity.

**allswell** · May 28, 2013, 04:50 PM

Thoughts on AA?

Hey Emw,

I don't see a lie anywhere, you're being very truthful - an errand to do. I've met a lot of people who think going to a meeting immediately labels an individual a drunk. Go to a meeting a see if it feels right then decide whether you want to open yourself up to the scrutiny some might place. Good luck, I think it's fantastic you're looking forward to a bright future for you, your husband and your new child!

**mama bear** · May 28, 2013, 06:02 PM

Thoughts on AA?

you may have to shop meetings, too.
I have gone to two different one and got good things from both, but have yet to find one where I click
as far as telling your hubs....maybe you could tell him and no one else??

**emwv712** · May 28, 2013, 06:55 PM

Thoughts on AA?

I don't really want to tell my husband because I think that he will take it personally that I want to go to AA and that I feel like I have a problem with drinking, one that will return post-pregnancy. I think he feels bad that he did not see how bad my drinking was, or rather, that he did not want to recognize it because he was drinking alongside me.

He has really scaled down his drinking while I'm pregnant, but he still drinks. I don't think he has the issue that I had - that one drink just wasn't enough, once I got started.

**treetops** · May 28, 2013, 07:08 PM

Thoughts on AA?

I suggest you might like to talk to a sympathetic doctor or counsellor//therapist as well. Once the baby is born your hormones will most likely be all over the place. I don't know what your own plans will be but I was so bloody tired after birth and during the first several months that drinking was not attractive. I also breast-fed and while you are exclusively breast-feeding - AL should be no go (but we alkies eventually find ways to compromise on this). Its good that you are thinking about addressing your AL issues but this might the time - while you are sober - to talk through some of the other reasons behind your drinking and from what it sounds to me - broader issues about yourself and your family.

All the best for your pregnancy and don't worry too much about the baby. Avoid the scary stories on the internet!

**willowfrond** · May 28, 2013, 07:46 PM

Thoughts on AA?

treetops;1512015 wrote: I suggest you might like to talk to a sympathetic doctor or counsellor//therapist as well. Once the baby is born your hormones will most likely be all over the place. I don't know what your own plans will be but I was so bloody tired after birth and during the first several months that drinking was not attractive. I also breast-fed and while you are exclusively breast-feeding - AL should be no go (but we alkies eventually find ways to compromise on this). Its good that you are thinking about addressing your AL issues but this might the time - while you are sober - to talk through some of the other reasons behind your drinking and from what it sounds to me - broader issues about yourself and your family.

All the best for your pregnancy and don't worry too much about the baby. Avoid the scary stories on the internet!

Totally agree wit treetops. You could be one of the people that just don't "get it" from AA, I have been to many meetings and it just never resonated. There is another group called Smart Recovery. Counsellors and therapists also.

Agree too about not worrying too much about the baby, make sure you are eating well, try to avoid GMO, take an iron supplement and good multivitamin/mineral and a good probiotic.

**Doggygirl** · May 28, 2013, 07:48 PM

Thoughts on AA?

Congrats on your pregnancy!!!

I SWORE I would NEVER go to AA. But I kept seeing people's posts here who were going, and they seemed to be making progress (in addition to not drinking) in ways I was not. So I finally went. I've never looked back.

I have found there are all types in AA which is a really good thing. I don't click with every AA member or with every meetings. But I have made some lasting friends in AA and I have grown spiritually from participating. I will also say that my relationship with my husband has improved as a result of my participation in AA. (who knew I wasn't perfect all along LOL???)

Anyway...IMO there is no downside to checking it out. Every meeting group is a little different so I always suggest going to a few different meetings to see what fits best, if anything does.

One thing I never regret is being a non-drinker. I also have never regretted any AA meeting the way I HAVE truly regretted various drinking episodes......

Best wishes on your journey.

DG

**emwv712** · May 29, 2013, 01:16 PM

Thoughts on AA?

willowfrond;1512036 wrote: Totally agree wit treetops. You could be one of the people that just don't "get it" from AA, I have been to many meetings and it just never resonated. There is another group called Smart Recovery. Counsellors and therapists also.

Agree too about not worrying too much about the baby, make sure you are eating well, try to avoid GMO, take an iron supplement and good multivitamin/mineral and a good probiotic.

Sorry if this is a dumb question, but what is "GMO"?

**Doggygirl** · May 29, 2013, 01:18 PM

Thoughts on AA?

emwv712;1512337 wrote: Sorry if this is a dumb question, but what is "GMO"?

Genetically Modified Organism. Most commercially grown wheat, corn and soybeans (just to name a few) are all genetically modified. These crops (that become our foods) are deemed "safe" however many question the safety.

DG

**Cinders** · May 29, 2013, 01:32 PM

Thoughts on AA?

emwv,

I, too, have had a hard time "getting AA to work" until I realized it was me that was not working. :-)

Many people are put off by the spiritual component of AA at first. Give it a try and make up your own mind.

I wish you success in whatever you decide.

Cindi

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