How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

[oakley]

I don't know how to start. I don't know how to quit. I know I have to start somewhere because I need to quit. I'm tired of feeling weak and ashamed of my drinking. Tired of feeling sick and making excuses for my drinking. Tired of the anxiety that it causes. I've known for some time that I rely on alcohol. One glass of wine always leads to more. I simply cannot control my consumption. I'm raising three sons alone. Other than me, my kids have no one and while on the outside, I've managed this long to keep it together, I'm falling apart on the inside and my use is spiralling out of control. I'm hoping that this site will be my start.

[available]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Hi Oakley and welcome. This site has been my godsend in giving up AL. Like you we all are chronic drinkers or alcoholics. Its taken me years to realise that i am an alcoholic and realise i have to stop drinking or die really. Just take one day at a time and it is doable. I drank every day one to two bottles of wine when i came home from work, my realisation came head on when i blacked out at my nieces 21st. the shame and embarrassment were overwhelming so I am up to Day 8 AF today and feel so much better.

You came to this site so you really do want to quit and there are so many resourses and help on here. Good luck Oakley and if I can do it anyone can. The oldies on here have invaluable knowledge to help you along your way and the Newbie nest is a great read and good to post on.

[Enough!]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

I just wanted to welcome you to MWO... It is a great place for support.... Healing and finding a way to success. I have not come in contact with anyone in my two years here that really did not want to help. Starting the process of quitting is really tough and be prepared for 3-4 days of side effects. YOU can do this!just don't give up EVER and keep reading and posting! Check out the tool box thread and you can pop in my thread conqouring day 1 anytime for support.

I am sure you will have lots more advice shortly from others. Just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
All the best.
Enough!

[oakley]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Thanks for the encouragement. I suppose googling 'how to quit drinking' is the first step and posting/admitting that my drinking is out of control is the second. Lingering on how I got to this point is probably not productive. I'm hung over and feeling like shite! Considering a drink to take the edge off and keep the anxiety at bay...to help me forget that I have a very fuzzy memory of yesterday. How screwed up is that? It really is a vicious circle, isn't it? Again, thanks for reading. I'm hoping to find the support that I need here. Hoping that reading the experiences of others will give me the tools, courage and strength to live a healthy life.

[available]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Oak you will so notice the difference having an AF day. The withdrawal as Enough said subside after a few days and its great to remember what we did the night before and to actually watch a whole tv show and remember the end oh and the middle and beginning. To drive to work not hungover, the positives are endless.

Its always hard to start with and some days are better than others but everyday without a drink is a bonus.

[MossRose]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Oakley, I know it's cliche - but you sound "sick and tired of being sick and tired." And the fact that you are a single mother with 3 children tells me that you have a lot on your plate. It's impressive that you are doing as well as you are. I was a single mother for years too, and I know how difficult it can be.

Many of us here suffer from anxiety. I have struggled with it my whole life. It's a chicken-egg sort of thing. No doubt, drinking makes it worse, but I'm going to be honest with you, the first few days or weeks of sobriety brings it on too. Like I said - chicken and egg. I'm not trying to scare you, just being truthful so you know what to expect and don't get spooked by it. The difference is that it will eventually subside, something that will never happen if you keep drinking.

Make a plan. Reach out when you need us. We will be there.

MWO is a great place to be. The support it amazing. Hope you decide to join us on the journey to an AF life. You can do this.

[oakley]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Thanks Rose...I appreciate your honesty. I know this won't be easy and it scares me to face the anxiety and actually find a way to manage it rather than drink it away. Anxiety is something that has followed me forever.

[MossRose]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Oakely, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just trying to warn you that the anxiety wouldn't disappear overnight. However, the good news is, as soon as you give up AL, you will no longer wake up in the morning feeling anxious about something you said, did, or didn't do the night before. It will just be your body detoxing the poison. So that's how I looked at it the first few days, and it made it manageable. I took lots of vitamins, ate often, drank a lot of water, and slept when I needed to. It really did help.

I'm so new at this, I can't really give you good, long-term advice. I can only offer support. I'll be here if you need me. And that's a promise.

[MossRose]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

btw...how old are your sons? I have two sons - 21 and 23. They are the loves of my life and the reason I am here.

[NoSugar]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Hi, Oakley,

:welcome:

Links to 2 great threads are in my signature. The toolbox is full of ideas and the nest with support !

All the best to you - NS

[NoSugar]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Moss! They are 2 of the 3 reasons you are here and you know what I'm talking about!!!

:l NS

[available]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Moss I have 4 great reasons to not drink. My 26 and 21 year old daughters and my 24 and 20 year old sons and the most important reason also is for ME.

My daughter gets married in November and no way do i want to embarrass her on her biggest and most important day of her life.

[MossRose]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

NS - I know exactly what you are saying!
Avail - you will make your daughter proud. I am sure of it.
Oakley - not trying to hijack your thread. You just started a good conversation

[oakley]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Thank you, NoSugar...I will check them out.
Rose...my sons are 15 and 12 (twins). They too are my world and a major reason I am here. I'm also here for me. I'm tired of not living my potential. I somehow got lost during my marriage and haven't found myself since my divorce. I'm stuck in a pretty ugly place and for my sake and of course my kids' sakes, I need to get my shit together! thanks for being here...

[available]

How did I get here? So lost...and alone.

Are you paranoid today MOSS lol, you like me are new and in some way i think us newbies having a few days under our belts AF do have some good points to say also. Keep posting Moss and glad you are doing well. I have told my daughter i am AF and she is really happy and proud, it gets harder to hide your intake the older they become.

Oakley you confused me when u said 15 and 12 twins. Im thinking thats not twins lol. You have come here so you have potential to change. Like you I am single and god forbid I would not want a man that would see the drunken, mess I had become and i was looking for all the wrong men. Now i am focusing on me getting healthy and who knows what life has to bring.