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    Support for Long Term Moderators

    Please do not join this thread unless you have had at least 30 days of abstaining from alcohol before beginning to moderate. Go back to the Newbies Nest and be successfully sober for 30 days before you think about moderating. If you did 30 days last year and have been struggling with repeated binge drinking, I would suggest that you do another 30 days and then seek serious support which may include seeing a therapist who supports moderation.

    I am reposting an excerpt from a post I did in General Discussion: I appreciate [abstainers] sharing your journey with me and I too am on a journey that I must take. I have found that there is no support on this board for people who moderate, despite Roberta Jewells' book with extensive research to the contrary, and I ask did she lie to sell books? I don't believe she did. I re-posted her post that she now chooses to abstain - she did not say that she was unsuccessful moderating. There are plenty of threads supporting people struggling to abstain, but none where someone can honestly post about struggling to moderate without being told by someone who has chosen to abstain that they will fail. The Long Term Moderators thread is a contentious argument between people who chose to abstain and people struggling to Moderate. Who supports someone by telling them they will fail? I've gotten several PMs and posts with the question "did you drink" - and it really feels like I'm being asked "whose side are you on"? While I've been commended for my 'honest' posts elsewhere, any posts dealing with my thoughts about drinking or moderation have been discouraged. I've been asked not to post in the Newbie's Nest in order to support those struggling to abstain. I'd like to support those struggling to moderate but have not found where can they post. You are free to go anywhere on these Boards and share your experience - if I choose to moderate I cannot post anywhere without being told I will fail. Please tell me if I'm wrong. The question is not "can you moderate" it is "can you be supported in moderating on this board".

    I am hopeful that this can be a thread that supports those struggling to moderate - it will require honest self examination. As I've read elsewhere, a pattern of having 10 beers once a week isn't moderating. IMHO, abstaining and having a pattern of 10 beers once a week isn't abstaining either but each individual should be able to choose what they call their journey.
    10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

    #2
    Support for Long Term Moderators

    This will always be a very heated topic on this board. Having been here a few years now I see it all the time but here's what it should boil down to.

    If a member wishes to Mod OR Abstain, they should not be judged by anyone on this board or in real life for that matter. There are people with varying degrees of "intensity" when it comes to their opinions, and usually its the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.

    This is in reality an opinion based Message board so conflict is inevitable.

    I do however believe that the vast majority of people on this board are not capable of Modding, and thats probably where you are meeting your resistance.

    Im not suggesting to leave this site, but maybe there is a board more centered around Modding, because finding like minded members on here will be difficult at best.

    In the end you need to do what is right for YOU................
    Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




    DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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      #3
      Support for Long Term Moderators

      Come over to Long Term Moderators thread. We are very supportive of people who choose to mod.

      TMH
      The pain of discipline is less than the pain of regret.

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        #4
        Support for Long Term Moderators

        Actually Nelz, there's no reason why this board shouldn't be centered around Modders as well, I imagone if I were abstaining I wouldn't be frequenting a Mod thread~ and vice versa. I don't think I can "taint' anyone on a modders thread.
        10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

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          #5
          Support for Long Term Moderators

          I'm Strong and in Control;1595030 wrote: Actually Nelz, there's no reason why this board shouldn't be centered around Modders as well, I imagone if I were abstaining I wouldn't be frequenting a Mod thread~ and vice versa. I don't think I can "taint' anyone on a modders thread.
          I think the only reason it isnt more Mod friendly, is because of the abstainers to modders ratio, it has to 8 to 1 at my best guess.

          If there was there was more modders than abstainers, then the board would lean in the Modders favor.....thats what I was trying to get at. I didnt even know we had a "Long term Modders" section, but I agree, different support groups should be available to everyone.
          Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




          DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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            #6
            Support for Long Term Moderators

            Strong, I too joined MWO with the intent of moderating. I am probably not a good example as I can't moderate. But I defend anyone's right to do it. There seems to be a huge divide between moderators and abstainers on MWO. I just don't get it. This whole site was founded on the idea of moderating and that is what brought most of us here. If in the end, some of us decide that moderating isn't a good idea. Well, that's our story. Others may be able to do so successfully. Thanks for your honest post.
            Everything is going to be amazing

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              #7
              Support for Long Term Moderators

              Hey
              I joined hoping to moderate but found that was not going to happen. I read the book and all and decided not to do the drugs to see if I could moderate. Yet I'm all for those who wish it. It may be possible, not for me but, heck, who am I to judge? I've never spent time on the moderation area, yet there was a new person today wishing to do that very thing. I think anyone who is trying to get a handle on their consumption is not being helped by condemnation. Good luck on your journey. I wish you wellure, not failure!
              Sam
              Liberated 5/11/2013

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                #8
                Support for Long Term Moderators

                Well said Sam.
                No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                  #9
                  Support for Long Term Moderators

                  Thanks so much for your support everyone. We really all want the same peace and happiness and to be the best people we can. I want to wake up every morning and be proud of myself. I know I cannot do this alone.
                  10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Support for Long Term Moderators

                    Hi, Strong

                    I think you know I support you :l.

                    Early on, I read in the moderation threads but found it made me want to drink and I had by then realized that was not an option for me. So, I stay out.

                    Please know that I'm thinking of you and wishing you the best in whatever you decide. It will be nice to see you if you decide to visit any of the nonAL-related threads or stop by the nest and of course, we can chat by PM anytime.

                    I'm glad you are feeling Proud, Strong, and In Control! xx - NS

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                      #11
                      Support for Long Term Moderators

                      Thanks NS - I appreciate your friendship and support.

                      Just as a followup I have switched to the Long Term Moderator's Thread and don't follow this post. (I don't think I know how).
                      10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Support for Long Term Moderators

                        RED FLAG: Coming to this website because your drinking is a out of control and looking for the thread that tells you it's okay to start drinking again. Beating your head against the wall produces the same result! Be good to yourself. Put down the glass. Take a deep breath or a bubble bath or a walk. Wake up sober and un-hungover. Repeat the following day. and so on.
                        10/14/13: I am truly grateful for another day in this amazing life. I'm sober and mindful of every moment.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Support for Long Term Moderators

                          I have better than 6 months and have been toying with the idea of wine with dinner or out with friends. Right now it is still just an idea...
                          Dottie

                          Newbie's Nest

                          Tool Box
                          ____________
                          AF 9.1.2013

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