March Mod Squad

[nonamegirl]

In like a lion! Whew!

Hey, just read my dear Crocus's note to Emmy on the Feb Mod Squad thread. Emmy! Wow, how tremendously exciting!

I want to start this thread with a happy heart, welcoming all who come here. We have such good regular folks, and want to share our warm feelings with everyone. Lurkers, feel free to come, but please be nice and don't take what is said in the Moderation threads away and mistreat us. We are all on different places on the path, and what works for us may not work for everyone. And, vice versa, as well.

:l:h:l

[DancingGirl]

March Mod Squad

What a lovely message to start the month with - thanks NNG.

I had to work on the 1st and also had stuff to do yesterday so am just checking in today. TOO cold here!! I am in work very early because I had to drop my husband off at the train station. His sister in another city died on Thursday, and he has to go and meet with her executor and go to the funeral parlour. Hubs is scared of dying (part of the PTSD that fuels some of his drinking issues), so this is very hard on him. Sorry to be so grim, but I haven't been talking to other people about this at work. It's nice to have you folks to talk to.

So - off for a moderate March! I'll post plans on Ruby Tuesday, but send love and warm (ha!) greetings to all.

:h

[Emmy Lou]

March Mod Squad

Wow, March already? Time flies. Again I find myself yawning and wishing I was in bed an hour ago. I get up again in 6 hrs time...eek! Thankyou all for the words of encouragement with my costume work. It is a very exciting time for me. Doing it fresher and with an older head on my shoulders is really paying off! I keep remembering all the times I went out boozing with the chorus boys after shows...then dragging myself in with a hangover next morning...so glad I don't do that any more, the work just seems so much easier this way.
Hugs to all of you, keep up your great efforts with your own modding plans.
Night all
X
Em

[crocus]

March Mod Squad

Hi Guys.

Glad March is here. I noticed that on my February calendar where I keep track of things, I drank way too much on the weekends. Yesterday, I kept drinking after dinner right through the oscars, fell asleep in my chair, and toddled off to bed at two.
I am sad.

Feeling like a total worthless loser. I'm glad Lent is this week. Lord knows I need it. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I will do something. I don't want to be an alcoholic. Maybe if I quit on the weekends, I could do better. I don't trust myself at all any more. Busy day ahead, though, so I had better get to it.

[crocus]

March Mod Squad

I just went back and read the last posts for February, and I see how badly I have let myself down. Eve, and Emmy, it is clear that I'm not doing very well. OK...so I go 4 or 5 days AF, but the bingeing on the weekend undoes everything. I'm feeling rather hopeless, I'm afraid.

[Emmy Lou]

March Mod Squad

Crocus, I'm no expert having only decided to cut back at all only six months ago myself but it seems to me that it takes more than one or two attempts to do this thing. No matter how long it takes the point is that you're trying and the more often you try the more likely is success. Please don't put yourself down so! Each human being is an amazing thing but not amazing at everything (that would be greedy!). Just keep trying and you will get way further with this than if you hadn't started.
Be kind to yourself,
X
Em

[ToMyHealth]

March Mod Squad

NNG, what a nice way to start off the month! Thank you.
DG, sorry to hear about your sister in law.

Crocus, agree with Em about being too hard on yourself. I did not have a very good Feb either so you certainly aren't the only one who is disappointed in oneself. Let's just move forward to a better March, ok??? We can do this!

I updated my personal thread on here this a.m. but once again lost the entire post. For some reason on my Ipad I need to log in each and every time I visit. True of here and FB. So frustrating. So I have decided to let it go.

Excited - my daughter, SIL and youngest Canadian grandson are coming to visit for a week. They arrive midnight Wed. Grandson is bringing a friend so we give them the whole place and move to our other condo. Kind of a pain in the neck to clean out the frig, move a week's worth of clothes, etc. but excited that they get to leave the cold & snow, and I get to see them.

I did drink last night but was successful at delaying such by having a couple bottles of water first. The music festival was good, and you get caught up in the atmosphere. Think bright sunshine, good music, bar all set up around a sparkling pool. Had 2 wines but then came home and cooked a new recipe and cont'd with the wine. Ugh! So see, Crocus, I did it too. And we have another party tonight. And tomorrow night, (although don't think I'll go) and then company for a week who will be "on holiday". Help!

TMH

[Emmy Lou]

March Mod Squad

Hello friends, bedtime again, I must try to visit when I get home from work. I've been trying to do some much needed housework when I get home these days, so my weekends are free for relaxing. It keeps me busy and gets the body moving but I'm sure I could log in after dinner and give myself time to read your posts properly. Let's see how I go tomorrow? Happily AF tonight. I'm going through mountains of diet tonic and mineral water these days, so much cheaper than wine!
Goodnight all,
X
Em

[nonamegirl]

March Mod Squad

My dear Crocus,
I so much agree with everyone else. This is a process, and it doesn't help to beat yourself up. We are making it, step by step in the right direction.

Emmy,I love hearing about your work. You inspire me!

TMH, have fun with your family. You seem to have such an interesting life!

DancingGirl, my sincere sympathy for you and your husband. Losing someone is very difficult, and it certainly does make us all feel vulnerable.

All is well here. Snow seems to have turned to freezing rain, so when the 6 foot high drifts all melt, it will be one big lake, I suppose. Ah, well. Spring is coming, I hope.

[Eve11]

March Mod Squad

crocus;1633686 wrote: I just went back and read the last posts for February, and I see how badly I have let myself down. Eve, and Emmy, it is clear that I'm not doing very well. OK...so I go 4 or 5 days AF, but the bingeing on the weekend undoes everything. I'm feeling rather hopeless, I'm afraid.

Hi crocus,

It is hard for everyone here at various times. There are those who struggle hard to abstain and then post that they relapsed and are feeling bad. And there are those of us just wanting to cut down but maintain drinking in our lives, who go over our limits of what we consider moderate. I have posted this before and just wish I could cut and paste it (but don't know where it is at the moment) but it is harder (IMHO) to moderate than abstain because we set up a craving cycle when we reintroduce alcohol into our bodies. So, I think it is even harder to moderate than try to abstain.

Take a look at what is going on in your life crocus and try to evaluate what the triggers are as to why you think you over do it at times. For me, I learned that I should not really have a full bottle in the house if it's an occasion where I am the only one who would be drinking as hubby drinks so little. So, if he agrees we will share a bottle of red wine, I will buy one and we will have it on a Saturday night when we are having dinner at home. But, for example, the Oscars when I will be sitting alone downstairs in the movie theater room, no way would I purchase a regular champagne bottle as I know I would keep going back for "just one more". I know I have a faulty shut off valve and mine is overly confusing because sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but I never know when it will work or not. So, I purchased a 5 oz champagne bottle for one.

Ofcourse, there is always the option of deciding to just give it up if we determine moderation is just not working, and there is certainly no shame in that. Actually there is so much wonderful support on the AF boards, that for me personally, it's hard not to go that route sometimes. I certainly have considered it and remain open to the fact that it is an option and may be one I decide to do one day if moderation gives me trouble in my life. I do have a former friend who can not moderate and her drinking ruined our friendship, has caused some men to break up with her, etc. So, one has to carefully evaluate always what drinking is doing in their lives, is it affecting work, relationships, etc. Good luck crocus and know that we are here for you. You can always private mail me or anyone else here if you want to keep things more private.

:l
Eve11

[Eve11]

March Mod Squad

DancingGirl;1633666 wrote: Hubs is scared of dying (part of the PTSD that fuels some of his drinking issues), so this is very hard on him.

DG,
Wish I had words of encouragement for hubby. There truly are some folks who have such a fear of death that it is really troublesome for them in their lives. I always use a joke that Richard Pryor used that goes, "I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." I guess the only thing to do is encourage hubby to just try to focus on "being here now". Thinking and worrying about the future is like the rocking chair analogy, "keeps us busy full time but doesn't get us anywhere."

There is a good paperback book that I am sure would be relatively inexpensive to purchase from Amazon or elsewhere entitled "How to live with PTSD, the causes and characteristics of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder". Perhaps hubby could find some pearls of wisdom there.

Take care!

:l
Eve11

[Emmy Lou]

March Mod Squad

Hi all! I realise now why I check in so late at night. With the time difference no one has had time to post yet! I hope you all had great days. I was AF again last night and dosing up on chicken soup...I hope not but I think I feel a cold coming on.
X
Em

[Stewarts]

March Mod Squad

Well, I can't say things have changed. I did drink on Saturday, it was a good friend's 40th birthday party and these are friends that I did a lot of drinking with in my twenties all through thirty...some are happily married, a few not, a few of us divorced. My the birthday boy himself is a really big drinker. Anyway, it was fun to see everyone, they all found out I got into Grad school and told them all I wasn't sure if I was going to send in my letter of intent...all seemed to think that was foolish. I do remember having a somewhat morose conversation with one of them. I started drinking dark and stormies with a few of them and realized it was time to go home. I had had no dinner, and knew I would be sick if I didn't eat something, even if it was late. rest was all AL Free...oh except for a scotch tasting I went to last Wednesday, this may sound weird, but I don't count that as an AL day and I'll tell you why....first, I'm not a scotch drinker...this was very formal, very expensive scotches...there was four them, they were tasting pours..I tasted each one, they show you how to drink it properly, and two of them I asked for a little more, because I thought they tasted better, but scotch is not something I can down, nor did I feel compelled to start really drinking...I never finished any of the glasses, not even the small little trial pours. I went home feeling fine and rested...

NOw yesterday, I went out to a client dinner and we had some wine...no big deal...it was actually a fun dinner...I think one of them was even falling for my charms....it was an early dinner and I was walking home and decided to go into this wine bar...now I was feeling good about myself, but the minute I sat down...I felt bad. I was drinking red wine, which doesn't really effect me on the drunk scale, especially if I had a big meal, which I did!

There was a woman clearly looking at me, I caught her multiple times, but I just looked away..my one glass became three...still no buzz or anything, just feeling depressed. A young girl sat next me and we had a pretty boring discussion about wine. She was one of the waitresses, I think she was just passing time until her friend showed up, but I didn't even try and hit on her, or be charming...I only bring that up because there was no reason for me not to...I'm single...

I eventually got into a conversation with the woman that was checking me out, she was with a gf...Towson, MD came up, that was my in with my Baltimore schooling...anyway, that conversation didn't last long..she lost interest real quick...not because I didn't anything stupid, or offensive, quite the opposite, I knew I was just coming off as dull and boring, nice, but dull and boring...I'm sure was probably thinking at first, why is this guy here a lone, then saw me talking to a young hottie, then alone again, and probably said to herself, now I see why, nice guy, but dull and boring...

I laughed to myself when I realized this, some cougar I was luke warm about, giving me the cold shoulder now...I almost ordered another glass of wine, but didn't. I had a HUGE meal, was far from drunk, was far from buzzed, but consumed a decent amount of wine, my stomach being full is probably why...so I went home....

So, that's pretty much it...nothing terribly exciting, nothing bad thought either...nothing really worth..anything.

Oh, I did go on a 5 mile run before lunch, that was nice.

[Emmy Lou]

March Mod Squad

Hi All, Stewarts that all sounds pretty controlled to me. It's hard to keep to a strict regime with AF days when like yourself (& myself) there are so many work and social commitments that involve alcohol. You sound like your drinking patterns are changing. I've noticed that in myself. So that even if I can't manage AF, I have reduced the quantity by a huge amount and I am not as inclined to just blindly continue with it into the wee small hours like I used to. Sometimes I even get bored with it! I just try to get the AF days in when I can. I'm on my third in a row tonight. I have some old friends from the country coming tomorrow and it's a long weekend here so there'll be a few nights drinking...I won't be drinking as much as the others by a long shot,
Time for my bed,
Goodnight all,
X
Em

[ToMyHealth]

March Mod Squad

Good day. If this does not post I may be absent for a week. Only have Ipad access.

Eve, boy did your post on pg 1 resonate with me! I follow the NN everyday and admit to feeling envy. So why don't I start going completely AF? I really think it's the habit which I could enjoy the same with non alcohol in my glass.

I'm feeling fine this a.m. Worked hard yest moving out (3 trips) and so far I have 4 items on list that I forgot. Gave visitors a car, I'm traveling by bike and we have 80% chance of rain by afternoon. Should be done with golf by 1:00.

Going to be an interesting week!

TMH