June Mod Squad

[Emmy Lou]

Hello Modders & welcome to June!
I cant quite believe I'm the first here, & that I've remembered that it's no longer May.
Well, I'm busy as usual, and very tired. My boyfriend has moved in with me for a few weeks before his trip to visit his kids in Europe. My challenge is to maintain my AF nights during the week. I haven't managed it so far but last night only had two, and tonight I have just consumed the half shot of vodka remaining in a bottle that I have shared with him over two weeks. I feel quite good about that because he has supplemented his intake with beers and wine that he's brought home and I have just stuck to eeking out a little each night from what I had at home. I've been drinking lots of mineral water and diet tonic. Let's hope that I can continue.
I hope everyone is doing well and that no one is struggling too much. I'm sure that I'll read how you are doing over the week.
Take care and goodnight from Oz.
X
Em

[Eve11]

June Mod Squad

Hi Modders and a special hello to Emmy Lou. For me, Emmy Lou, the not drinking at home trick is to avoid having any AL in the home. My downfall has always been having a party where there is AL left over and then my brain starts to focus on that AL in the fridge or wine rack and I tend to want to drink on an off week-end night. More and more I am finding that I feel so much better the next day without any AL the night before but there is still that mindset that it is relaxing and fun to get the little buzz, or pairs nicely with certain foods so I still indulge at least one week-end night if not two. Used to ALWAYS be Friday and Saturday because the mindset was it was ok on the week-ends but even that is changing and I am finding there are many Friday nights now where it's just relaxing to stay home (esp if grandson is visiting) and not drink. Although someone mentioned I was a "successful" modder once, it is kind of like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". Successful to me would be I became a "normal" drinker and my belief is any modder who is here is not a normal drinker and probably will never be one unless they are very young and just got into a bad drinking cycle and are here to break it. Otherwise, the rest of us have an affliction and it is our constant challenge to see if we can moderate somewhat successfully with maintaining our goals or if we just need to "face the music" and "throw in the towel".

Had a successful graduation party for our oldest son and I purposely did not drink until the party was almost over. Felt so good to greet everyone with a clear and controlled mind (and speech) and to walk them to the door at departure time feeling the same way. Did have a couple of glasses with the couple of people who stayed late and did NOT get into the wine that was left over so was proud about that. I always need to remain diligent and that is why I keep coming back, as I need the support here and enjoy sharing my life, good and bad, with the folks who read these posts and the modders I consider friends although I have not had the opportunity to meet any of them.

Here is to a successful June. It is my birthday month (11th is the big day) and I always get inspired with the thought of making everything right with the world every birthday year.

Have a wonderful day friends and visitors.

:l Hugs,
Eve11

[Stewarts]

June Mod Squad

Great

EL, that sounds great! You seem being doing fine.

So, I had a date on Friday and wasn't sure if I was going to drink or not. We went out to dinner and she had a margarita so I had one, just one. We then decided to walk around and went to a Scotch bar in our neighborhood. We live near each other.

I don't drink scotch but had two beers and she had two glasses of Proseco. I walked her home and I think I got home around midnight. I didn't see that as a bad thing/night.

Saturday I wasn't planning on drinking at all. My plans bailed on me, so I was walking around and decided to stop into this bar restaurant to read a book. I started not drinking, but after a light bite had some wine...and some more. Then I got into a conversation with some people. There is a dive bar next door and got invited to go there for a few beers, I did. considering what I had ate, and having gone running earlier, it was definitely more than I wanted to drink, but I didn't feel drunk.

I think I got home around 3....I rarely do that now. Anyway, I did wake up and went for a light run as I had the hockey game later that night. No anxiety attack or anything like that. But as I was running up the East River, I was noticing all the life around me which may sound like a surreal statement coming from someone living in NYC. There's a park along the river and a lot of people were out, a lot of girls in bathing suits, and I starting thinking to myself, why didn't I do this yesterday during the day? ie brining my book out and some things....it probably keep me from hanging out late.

I don't think I did anything bad Saturday night, I just felt a little off on Sunday and I am out of hockey shape. The reason why I walked around was I was bored...I had stayed in all day after my run. My Saturday night date got sick, and I wasn't sure what to do with myself.

I just started seeing things in a different light, it was like I had been asleep for months. Could D, the ex-gf, make me be missing all these things?

Oh, when I was walking to my date Friday, I past this bar/restaurant, upscale French/Bistro type of thing. Anyway, the windows were wide open, the big store front ones...I could hear a familiar voice, it was her, the ex-gf, as I walked by, it was definitely her, with two gfs. I am not sure if she saw me or not...her back was pretty much toward me, but I was able to see her eyes, so if I could see her, she could see me...I didn't try to get her attention, I just kept walking....I think it was the right thing to do.

j.

[guapo]

June Mod Squad

I'm new to the forum.

I discovered the concept of moderation last summer.

There was clearly a problem with drinking too much, and the best solution my professional organization suggested was a semi inpatient 12 step program which taught IMMEDIATE abstinence. NOTHING ELSE WAS EVEN SUGGESTED. The counselor I visited had nothing else either.

Despite not having any legal or professional issues, I would've had to submit to random urine test, and be made to feel like I was diseased etc.

Imagining that approach, and the cravings it would've created, and the complete change in my whole life was unthinkable. I jumped on the Internet, and managed to find the Sinclair method, naltrexone, but didn't really find moderation talked about too much. It suggested I would be cured, but what it really did was allow me to get the drinking under control.

The naltrexone clearly helped, but didn't solve the problem. Then I found the moderation management, some other forums, and some other approaches, BINGO!

it's been three months of minimal drinking, lots of alcohol free days, very few cravings, and never really having a bad day, and never over drinking. It seems though, there is a lot of debate whether moderation is really an effective approach, or is it just a step to abstinence.

For me at least, having an occasional glass of wine, waiting a while until the next drink, and not feeling like I have to explain why I'm not drinking to people is a pretty good solution.
Plus, I am in control, not some organization telling me that I'm powerless.

I still do like drinking a little, I do not like getting drunk. I'd like to follow along in this forum, to see what other people are doing, but I'm pretty happy with how it's going at my end.

[-143]

June Mod Squad

Well we made it to June modders!!!
I didn't have as many af days in May.......will do better for June!

[-143]

June Mod Squad

Oh.... and welcome guapo!!!!

[guapo]

June Mod Squad

Thx !

[nonamegirl]

June Mod Squad

HI, everyone,
Welcome, Guapo! You have joined a great group of folks. We all understand exactly what you are saying, and all have experienced some success with moderating, though I would probably say that each of us would like to experience more success at it. As Eve says, if we are here, it means we aren't normal drinkers, but rather have to work at moderating.

Emmy, thanks for starting us off.

I will be not as frequent here as in the past. It is just a really busy summer, so don't worry if you don't hear from me. I'll check in when I can.

Take care, all my friends, and be well.

[Eve11]

June Mod Squad

Hi all!
Welcome guapo :welcome: and hi to everyone else. Here's to a successful June! guapo, think you'll find this site very helpful as we do support each other in trying to maintain moderation goals. You may want to pull up the Ruby Tuesday thread where we post weekly goals and report on Monday or Tuesday how the previous week went and what changes if any we will make. There is also the drinktracker here and you track your daily drinking. You can make it open to everyone (which helps accountability) or just keep it private which helps too. Here's to a successful June!

:l
Eve

[guapo]

June Mod Squad

Thanks all.

This should help keep me honest, and I like the spirit of everybody.

We're all in this together, and I for one am very optimistic.

[Emmy Lou]

June Mod Squad

Welcome Guapo! Hi everyone. I came home tonight to a roast lamb dinner with lots of beautiful organic veg. I'd bought a bottle of Merlot to share on the way home, I had two or three glasses and we spent the evening playing records. My last couple of glasses have been mineral water and I'm now in bed early enough to be fresh in the morning. AF days will start again on Thursday, as the boyfriend is working down the coast a a music festival for the weekend. I feel good
X
Em

[DancingGirl]

June Mod Squad

Happy June to everyone.

Nice to meet you Guapo and -143; greetings to Emmy, Stewarts, Eve, and NNG. I've been bad at posting over the last few months and also not so good at moderating:blush: but I'm getting back on track (literally by tracking my drinks!).

My very good news is that hubs and I are going on a holiday to Italy and Amsterdam! I'm really happy and excited. I'll do my best drinking moderately and intend to do lots of walking.

[Stewarts]

June Mod Squad

Interesting

guapo;1667439 wrote: I discovered the concept of moderation last summer.

There was clearly a problem with drinking too much, and the best solution my professional organization suggested was a semi inpatient 12 step program which taught IMMEDIATE abstinence. NOTHING ELSE WAS EVEN SUGGESTED. The counselor I visited had nothing else either.

Despite not having any legal or professional issues, I would've had to submit to random urine test, and be made to feel like I was diseased etc.

Imagining that approach, and the cravings it would've created, and the complete change in my whole life was unthinkable. I jumped on the Internet, and managed to find the Sinclair method, naltrexone, but didn't really find moderation talked about too much. It suggested I would be cured, but what it really did was allow me to get the drinking under control.

The naltrexone clearly helped, but didn't solve the problem. Then I found the moderation management, some other forums, and some other approaches, BINGO!

it's been three months of minimal drinking, lots of alcohol free days, very few cravings, and never really having a bad day, and never over drinking. It seems though, there is a lot of debate whether moderation is really an effective approach, or is it just a step to abstinence.

For me at least, having an occasional glass of wine, waiting a while until the next drink, and not feeling like I have to explain why I'm not drinking to people is a pretty good solution.
Plus, I am in control, not some organization telling me that I'm powerless.

I still do like drinking a little, I do not like getting drunk. I'd like to follow along in this forum, to see what other people are doing, but I'm pretty happy with how it's going at my end.

Very interesting stuff. I'd like to hear about your experiences. 12-step programs are not for everyone. Nothing against AA, I have several friends in the program and they are doing fabulous! Their problems were a lot different, these people are clear addicts and seriously cannot touch alcohol period! It is a matter of life and death with them.

I saw a hypnotist two weeks ago, that was very interesting and even a little mindblowing. I am seeing her again tomorrow. The thin with that is, you need to make a clear decision, she said, "If you want to have a few glasses of wine with dinner, or a few beers after your hockey games that fine, but I need to know if that's it or you want to completely abstain?"

I'm starting to think about abstaining because I'm trying to lose some weight, which is finally starting to happen.

I started reading Allen Carr's book awhile back, I need to start again.... his overall thesis in the end is to NOT drink, but even he suggests it's a decision you can't make until you finish the book and come to terms with it yourself.

Best,

j.

[ToMyHealth]

June Mod Squad

Welcome, Guapo! And nice to 'see' you, Eve! NNG, like you I may be more absent this month. Will be working off Ipad, leaving on road trip Thurs, will be gone for about 3 weeks. DG, how exciting, Italy and Amsterdam. Have a great time.

Like you Stewarts, I seriously want to do a 30 day stint but don't feel now is a good time with the trip. Driving isn't that much fun and you look forward to stopping for the day, relaxing with some wine and dinner. Dh already made a tee time in Mobile, AL for day after we leave. That tells me first day is going to be a long day. Have to remember though it will be CST so gives us an extra hour that a.m.

TMH

[Eve11]

June Mod Squad

Have fun Dancing Girl! I love traveling and have been to both countries. Enjoy, enjoy.

I struggled last night with wanting to have a drink. To not contradict myself as I was giving advice to Emmylou that my trick is to not have AL in my house, and then I was talking yesterday about wanting a cold beer, I wanted to clarify that we have beer and wine left over from the grad party. So, that is always my struggle when the stuff is here and then I think I can "only have 1". So, coming back here to post yesterday gave me strength to say no as I wanted a 0 on the drinktracker and I really did NOT want to drink on a weekday night. So, you guys helped me keep my accountability to myself last night and I appreciate that about coming here.

Stewarts, AL is fattening! Our bodies burn the AL calories before the food calories. so a lot of non drinkers totally notice losing weight when they quit. She sounds like an interesting hypnotist. I have a friend in the business but for some reason her company never focused on alcohol. Don't know why as that is a big problem for a lot of folks. MWO does sell a hypnotic DVD for self control in drinking. I did purchase it years ago and listen to it from time to time. May be something you want to consider Stewarts as it's already made up for you. Only you can decide which route to go. Guess it's always important for us to weigh the pros and the cons and to be honest with ourselves about it.

TMH, I always look at you as having one of the biggest struggles as retirement in your community is just one big party! However, it always sounds like you are very fit and if you've been able to apply our moderation suggestions to your lifestyle then you're ahead of the game. I avoid the "big" drinkers as I know I can get sucked in too easily when hanging with people who over drink. I need to hang with controlled drinkers (people without problems) or I can get into trouble. Have eliminated getting together with some friends from my life because they over drink. Funny thing is, they are always the ones posting the wine jokes on facebook (jokes about drinking too much). So they laugh at how much they drink, and don't get the connection. Sad but true.

Have a good day all. Hang in there.

:l
Eve11