18 and1/2 months.... now what???

[WineBGone]

Hello everyone...... It been over a year since I have posted on MWO and 18 1/2 months since I became AF. It has been an interesting journey..... most of the time I don't think about drinking, I have lost a bit of weight and my life is having less rollercoaster rides with anger and other emotional swings.

I still really struggle with social anxiety and wanting a few drinks to take the edge off. I had hoped this would become less over time, but if anything the craving is becoming worse. I don't socialize with friends nearly as much as I am noticeably anxious and can't wait to leave to go home to the safety of my home. I have days now when I think it would be okay to drink again and I am becoming more and more tempted. I am having relationship issues with my 18 year old stepdaughter that lives at home with us and I find that I will withdraw to another room to try to control my moods and anger when I am around her.

My doctor has me on anti-anxiety medication which I use to calm my nerves before social occasions or things like conference calls at work and I take them a couple of times per week as needed.

When I look back to when I started this journey, I had these romanticed thoughts of living the life of a well adjusted non drinker. It feels now that I am slowly slipping to temptation as I continue to struggle with anxiety. I owe it to my family to stay strong and abstain from AL.

It would be a long drop back to day 1.......... I think I need a little support.

Thanks,


Jim

[Pie]

Hi Jim,

What happens when you look back to why you started this journey? Wondering if some of your own early posts might help you now?

[NoSugar]

Hi, WBG

Good to see you! And good for you realizing you need a little refresher on why we're all doing this in the first place. It's so much better to come back before you choose to drink. You've done really well off on your own. I must admit, I've been afraid to try that myself.

I can't comment on anxiety but I've had to learn better ways to handle stress. It would be nice if stopping drinking miraculously fixed those associated problems but I think we have to actively work on them. Have you considered any sort of therapy or other behavioral techniques to manage the anxiety?

The main thing to keep in mind is that drinking would almost certainly make it worse.

Hope to see more of you!

[Turnagain]

Hi Jim -

It's great that you popped back in. I remember you from back when and wondered how you were doing. It's really affirming to hear you've been AF!

Anxiety and stress sure seem to be triggers for many of us - after all, alcohol provided a way to relieve those feelings - at least temporarily. As we learned the hard way, that relief has a steep price. Being addicted is hell. I guarantee you that alcohol hasn't changed one bit in the 18 1/2 months since you put it in your body. It's just as damaging, toxic and carcinogenic as it ever was.

You, on the other hand, have changed in ways that you can't even imagine! Your brain and all other vital systems in your body have done an incredible amount of healing. Now, it's a matter of dealing with anxiety and stress in a healthy and hopefully, permanent way. And there are all sorts of ways to improve and correct the issues that could be contributing to your present state.

Here are FOUR areas that really help me banish the lingering anxiety and depression I felt after going AF:

DIET - Eating whole, healthy foods and giving sugar the boot, is one of the most powerful ways to improve your health.

SUPPLEMENTATION - alcohol really effs up the body's ability to absorb essential nutrients. Vitamin B-12 is one of the vital elements that we can no longer absorb because of drinking. I still take a liquid form of B12 almost every day - especially if I start feeling anxious.

EXERCISE - I've noticed that I don't have much anxiety at all when I keep up a regular practice of fairly vigorous exercise. Sometimes I just do a bunch of jumping jacks in intervals for 5 to 10 minutes. Makes me feel ready to take on anything.

MEDITATION - I also do Yoga which brings in the calming effects of meditation. This was so helpful to me that I now try to meditate first thing in the morning before I get out of bed and the last thing at night. It's pretty amazing how quickly this helps to repair the brain wiring. I'm a MUCH more chilled out person thanks to meditation and can deal much more effectively with both the little and big stressors that come up.


Here is a link to the first app I used when I started learning about meditation. Simply Being is a good way to learn mindfulness techniques.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/simply-being-meditation-for/id414779444?mt=12

Meditation Oasis is another source of guided podcasts and all are free:

http://www.meditationoasis.com/podcast/listen-to-podcast/

Another podcast resource from UCLA….

http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22

A little info about why and how meditation works:

https://youtu.be/Aw71zanwMnY

http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=16

http://www.health.harvard.edu/blog

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Last, but not least, as you know, there's an incredible amount of power in community - We are here to help each other learn and get stronger and find our way to the next new level of AF living....

Way to go on the mileage you've put behind you and I know you'll be blazing those happier trails ahead of you in no time at all!

[Myluck]

Hi Jim!!! Long time no see!!! We quit at the same time...1 or 2 days I think was the difference. Hope you remember. So I am AF now forever. Yes, I said that. It came to me easy - as I said : "I can't drink in moderation, therefore I will not drink at all. And I am at peace with that". I have no plans whatsoever to go back to this unnessesary habit. I am sorry I can't be a judge for anxiety as I don't have this condition, however me personally - I used to have panic attacks while driving but ever since I quit I never had one. I am glad you are here seeking support when u need it. This place have been the best support for me and I appreciate it. ❤️❤️❤️

[Pie]

How are you doing today, Jim? I have the Calm app on my phone that allows me to listen to 2, 5, or 10 minute meditations wherever I am. Maybe a tool for you to use against your anxiety?

[WineBGone]

Thanks everyone...... I am still fighting it. ODAT. I am going to start walking to keep a clear head and will try some meditation tapes as well..... Thanks for the advice.

Even the I thought I had beaten the addiction, this is a clear message to never let my guard down. Thanks for the encouraging words.

[YouKayBee]

Hi WineBeGone
I get that socially awkward feeling, and it is easy to just think that with just a bit of alcohol that everything would be so much easier. Except that I don't think it would be. Sure it takes me longer to relax at social events and I feel really wooden when trying to dance, but a bit of perseverance and it's gone. I have a saying that it takes me about 45 minutes to get into party/social mode - whereas a drinker might get there in 10 minutes. I do however know that I can be up fresh as a daisy the following morning and do whatever I want without worrying about driving or having a fuggy head. I can also drive to which ever venue and back, and be completely compus mentus.

A complete stranger to me at a wedding last year told me that she couldn't do what I had done - which was attend the event only knowing one person. She explained that without a glass of wine she wouldn't feel relaxed enough. I'd sat out 5 hours of others drinking at that point, including receiving an offended look from venue staff when I said "No thank you" to the alcoholic drinks they held out to greet us when we returned from the church.

I don't have to drink alcohol, and I don't want to.