Well, I'm back!

[Peanut]

I joined this site in 2008 and had a few successful AF periods, and then just gave up, going through Meno and injuries and stress and illness, etc etc etc. But as they say, this IS a progressive disease and mine has progressed to the point that I think I am going blind, or I could die any time, and am starting to miss mornings at work sometimes. as well as waking at 4:30am and having 2-3 glasses of wine and passing out again (thus my inability to get up for work). Now, I'm scared. I have tried everything from counselling, acupuncture, hypnosis, a naturopath, drugs, books, internet sites, tapping (weird!) - anything I could. Now I drink probably 2 litres of wine a day and it's killing me.

I went to my doctor yesterday, who is well aware of my problem. I decided to go the Topomax route again, as I did find that helpful. I shall dig out the book and supplements and give it another go. I have my first day AF almost done - not looking forward to not sleeping and hope the Zoplocon will help - but I AM looking forward to feeling clearer tomorrow. Very busy at work these days, so I have to clear my mind!!!!

Anyway, I shall try to visit and read here daily. I loved this forum in the past, as the support is wonderful. I look forward to getting to know you all over time.
Peanut

[NoraC]

Welcome back. There have been a few discussions lately about helpful tools. Sounds like you are getting yours in place.
Congratulations on Day 1. That's the way to get it done.

[available]

Welcome back Peanut. Sounds like you dont sleep very well when drinking so not drinking has to be better as you wont ever wake with a hangover and you will always make it to work if you dont drink.

Have a simple plan to not drink and add as you go along. I was at the stage you were at that i felt al was killing me and i am totally definitely sure it was. Thankfully 3 years on i feel human and can deal with life without al. Nothing beats being sober as hard as it is in the beginning, the end result is well worth the pain.

Head over to the newbies nest and say hello and keep checking in.

[mario]

Hi peanut & welcome back,

As you have been here before you know its a great help in posting daily in what your going through,
Also what are you going to try different in this time in your battle to stop drinking ?
Your commitment in what you really want to do is very important & to learn from what has not worked before & how you can get it right this time, wishing you the best peanut as it can be done.

[Snoopy56]

Welcome back Peanut, I first came here in 2008, hadups and downs, but know a few weeks away from six months and very hopeful. What is different this time, the same thing as you. I know I will die if I drink again, the withdrawals were taking their toll and the progression of the disease resulting in extreme health issues. I know my blood pressure was through the roof, could never sleep through the night, bloated, fat, guilt, remorse, anxiety, fuzzy thinking, and now a few months later, the healing is amazing. I wish that for you so work your plan, do healthy things every day and the results will be amazing.

[j-vo]

Hi Peanut,
Yes, it is progressive as it has progressed for me as well. And we have started here at the same time. It's time to get ourselves some serious sobriety time in. There are too many people who count on us, and too much life we've missed. Please come to the nest.

[Lost Soul]

Hi Peanut,
Very glad to see you come back here - I have found MWOF a very supportive place :hug: and a huge help on the AF journey x
I'm sorry you are really struggling with AL now, I know for myself, slipping and relapsing after AF time really can be a blow to your confidence in your ability to become AF again. It is sometimes very difficult to find a way through really tough stuff, if you don't have the resources or support, AL can offer a (false) sense of hope/escape. Its great you managed some successful AF time before & hope you can draw some strength from that you can do this x You certainly have put alot of dedication & determination into becoming AF with the various techniques & methods you have tried & think that certainly counts for alot.
Wishing you all the best on your AF journey x
LS

[Peanut]

Thanks for the welcome back. Just finishing day 2 and have had thoughts of wine but pushed them away and have kept very busy. When I get hungry, which I do when I work so hard I have no time to eat, then I want it. So I ate when I got home before doing anything. Will be having visitors the next few days, so probs not much time to get on here, but baby on board, so clean living!!! Hello and the best to everyone!!!!

[Pavati]

Hi, Peanut--

Congratulations on day 2! Clean living is IT.

If you want more support, the Nest is active, as are other threads. Why don't you find one to join for more regular support? Hope all is well.

Pav

[Neha12]

Re: Well, I'm back!

Welcome back, I remember my friend was also in the same boat a few years back. He took some herbal supplements from a Chinese Medicine clinic when he was back in London. He also went through 3 acupuncture sittings, and I remember that he was really happy after that and seeing the results. Still, if you need some more information, please have a look at this interesting article: How Does Acupuncture Work? Benefits, Needles, Definition

[Mulburry]

Re: Well, I'm back!

Peanut: I was in a similar boat a few months ago, liver in bad shape, feelling sick, knowing this thing was killing me slowly. I don't think I'd gone more than a week without drinking in 20 years, and drank daily for almost 10 years. I didn't think there was a way out of this, but here I am 2 months later, and still haven't had a sip. I won't sugar coat it, it hasn't been easy (and still isn't) but sometimes you just have to fight for your health and ultimately your survival. I hope you are able to stick with it and make it work.